CHAPTER NINE

"Home secretary, Martin Harding has been shot and killed last night."

That was the headline of next day's newspaper and broadcast. It detailed how Harding had been having a party in his apartment when a shot flew through the window shortly after eleven. No one knew the cause or the motive for it and no one had taken responsibility for it.

I was sat on the sofa in front of the TV back at The Manor but perked up when I heard Harding's name. The journalist was at the scene, standing not too far from the apartment which had been blocked off by tape and police. In the distance a white tent had been erected.

I switched it off.

"Rose intervened I see." Mattie's voice came from behind me. He patted my shoulder before sitting next to me. "You okay?"

I shrugged. Putting an arm around my shoulders he said, "if there's anything you need or want, just ask. The first one is hard but it's one of many if you choose to continue."

"He really did something that bad to get killed?" It only occurred that the sniper used to kill Harding was especially for vampires.

"Yes."

"I wonder what is was." I needed to know but somehow I thought it would make it worse. All I got was a constant pat and occasional rub on my shoulder.

Mattie received a phone call from Iain as I was grabbing a bite to eat. We were still back in The Manor with Mattie upstairs doing something.

Since what happened with Harding four days ago I kept telling myself I was fine but in reality my hands shook so badly even I thought I was made out of jelly.

My thoughts were too far and too fast for me to grasp and everytime I closed my eyes, I'd see the moment the gun drove the force of the bullet into his brain. Blood spewed everywhere. And I'd think, 'I did that? Did I really do that?'.

I kept quiet. From Mattie and Iain. I know they were trying to and offering their help but how do I put into words this sense of alienation within myself?

My hands gripped the edge of the countertop for stability. My body immediately felt so tired and cold.

How can I overcome this?

I was not like Caim. I did not know how Caim dealt with these emotions that bubbled inside of me with no outlet.

How? How? How?

Strong arms wrapped around me from behind. Mattie.

"Mat-"

His head rested on my shoulder, his cheek barely grazing mine. "Shh… I'm right here, Alice. Even if you can't say anything at all. I'm not letting you suffer alone. You're with me and we are bound by blood."

I let him take my weight as I rested against him. He wasn't warm like human.

"I know it's all locked inside your head."

He knew. Hearing those words brought a relief so harsh it sprung tears to my eyes and I cried.

"Iain gave us some time off." Mattie said. It was late and I was heading to bed. Crying made me immensely tired.

I turned toward him. "Really?"

"He said you can return when you want to but when you do, to have a definite reply for him."

"Ah…" And so that question pops up!

I sighed hobbling up a few more steps. How do I get past this?

I woke up shocked and sweating. Remnants of the dream were drifting away. I had to go to the bathroom to freshen up.

The brightness of the next day made me realise something. Laying on the bed with the white ceiling greeting me in the morning brought the memory of Caim's funeral. I believed I wouldn't get over the day but with the support from everyone, it wasn't the huge ache in my chest it was then.

I had to rub my chest then.

Maybe, just maybe I could get over this even if it seems impossible.

Mattie was making breakfast. Plates had been set on the island, dishes were on the sink as well as bubbling on the stove. I saw the waffle iron out.

"Morning, Alice." He smiled when I reached the island in my pajamas.

"Morning, you." I thought he was going to say something like, 'did you sleep well?' which, of course I did not. I just rested my eyes praying that daylight to come. I assumed he would know because… well, vampire skills.

"Are you doing anything tonight?" He asked.

What?

"I don't have anything planned." I said as he started plating up. Mattie had made himself a portion too, I noticed.

"There's a market happening in town, I thought you might want to join?"

"Sure." I didn't really know what to do with my time being without a case.

For a planned day out I thought that the sun would know we were going out and would take a step to the side and let it pour down, but it didn't. Seriously, when I was at university whenever we had a trip it would pour down heavily even though by the looks of the previous day, it would not. Even the weatherman would say so.

On this day, rain evaded us as Mattie and I took a taxi to the location. I didn't feel like dressing up so I went with a black hoodie, a grey vest and jeans. Mattie was dressed in jeans and a white shirt. We were silent. But the drive there was only ten minutes and I could tell we were nearly there when the smells of street food wafted through the open window making the waffles Mattie cooked seem simple.

Tents slowly popped into view half covered by the mass of the crowd with food in their hands.

It looked colourful. I hadn't seen happiness in a while, I think. The world I knew was dripping in blood and so much of it.

"Your mouth's hanging open."

My head shot to look at Mattie who was smiling. "It's a good idea to get you out of the Manor, then."

"I can stuff myself happily." I grinned. Mattie laughed.

"Well rolling you home isn't such a bad idea."

I giggled looking around at all the stalls. From what I could see there was a stall dealing only in sushi, one in pasta, others in different Asian cuisines… the list was endless! Where should I even start?

We decided on walking first to figure out what to have first. But something clicked in the back of my mind.

"What's wrong?" Mattie asked.

I looked around. I saw no or little vampires which was expected at this hour. Nor was it the people around me who stared or gave Mattie second glances.

It was that I was back at university again. The food stalls were being hosted at the university campus.

I looked at Mattie, "Mat-"

"Alice? Alice Darling?" A voice penetrated through the noise from behind me from a girl I knew like the back of my hand, Amy Richards. She and I were together since primary school when her parents decided to live down south from Scotland until… Rose took me in.

She was different from the image I had of her from over two years ago. Amy had dyed her hair from a natural chocolate colour to a lighter shade of brown, almost a beige. Her eyes wore the same welcoming gaze though and I brightened up completely. She wore an electric blue thin jumper with skin tight jeans or leggings, I couldn't really tell the difference between the two and high heeled boots. Silver accessories made the look seem higher class and her red check scarf brought a little bit of another colour.

Amy hugged me then held me at arm's length. "Where the hell have you been? Karl's told everyone you weren't coming anymore because you transferred! How dare you!"

Karl was our - was my - tutor. He was a laid back guy in his mid thirties now with blond hair and glasses.

Ah, I missed her Scottish accent.

It was then she noticed Mattie. Dumbfounded with the hot guy next to me, she murmured a quiet, "Oh, hello."

"Hey, I assume you're a friend of Alice's?" Seemingly oblivious to the fact Amy was practically drooling over him which, I had to admit was like a stab to my heart, Mattie gave a megawatt smile. She nodded. "I'm Matthew Taylor."

Oh, God. Uhm…

Amy's face darted between the two of us with an obvious unspoken question written on her face.

"He's my…" Partner? What. She'll get the wrong idea! "Friend."

I think even Mattie gave me the same expression Amy gave me. I didn't exactly see his face, more like saw it from the corner of my eye.

What's wrong with what I said? There's the rules to think about! Like rule eight and nine!

"Well, Alice and I have a bunch to catch up on!" She told Mattie, then to me, "You have to tell me when you're free next so we can catch up! At least tell me what uni you're going too."

I said the first uni that came to mind. "Birmingham." I do not know why. Birmingham was miles away.

Amy pulled a face. "Isn't that far away?"

Before I could overwork my brain to think of yet another answer, Mattie said, "You could take your time with Alice today. I'm running late to work."

What?

Amy cheered pulling on my arm as Mattie leaned toward me to whisper, "have fun." There was no doubt in my mind that from Amy's perspective, he looked like he was kissing my cheek goodbye. It was that and my subsequent blush of his closeness.

I wonder what was going through his mind.

I spent the rest of the day with Amy. Occasionally she would introduce me to her new friends - friends that she made during the two years I was studying at Rose - chatting profusely while we followed our noses to discover what yummy food we could eat.

It wasn't until we sat down at a seating area sometime between six and seven in the evening when she started getting serious. On some level I tried to ignore that fact as it struggled within me. She was someone who acted in a 'I'm joking' way so sometimes it was hard to determine whether she was actually serious or not. But you knew that the longer she was with you, the more likely she'll pulled you to one side and talk to you about the more important topic on her mind.

I hadn't seen Mattie all day. I guessed he went with the actual intention of me catching up with Amy or he was back at The Manor. Or he was actually with Iain having had some sort of call beforehand.

It was getting dark but lights shone through the darkness that was creeping up. Some came from the stalls that were working for the night, some from the lamp posts that dotted the area and even some from their phones. The seating area was actually in the middle of all the stalls which was great because I didn't particularly want to be off the main path of the market. For some reason I felt like I had to look out for Amy in case there were any vampire that were rogue. And pray to God that the senses that I developed through training were sharp enough to be able to tell what a rogue vampire looked like.

Amy sat down opposite me.

"Seriously though," she started in reference to our earlier conversation. "What's up with you? You're gone for like two years suddenly going off to Birmingham uni and there's an absolute hunk of a guy right next to you claiming to be your friend? Don't think I let that one slip away!"

I sighed. "Amy…"

"Don't 'Amy' me, Alice." She stared at me.

I groaned inwardly. "It's complicated."

"It's complicated on tell me that Matt or whatever his name is, is your boyfriend?"

If I was suddenly drinking the coke I had earlier in the day, I would have spat it out all over her. Instead I gaped at her ignoring the fact that my face was getting hotter by the moment. "What?" Is that her important topic?

Amy was nodding. "Do people even leave uni to be with a boyfriend? Sounds stupid to me."

"Amy, we're not- What? How did you even come up with that?" I sank back in my chair dumbfounded with this logic.

But as I leaned back, she leaned forward. "Well, as long as you're happy and I can talk to you more, right? Seriously, once Karl told us you were suddenly transferring unis so early in the semester, no one in the class could believe it. I tried texting you, emailing you and calling you, but it never went through. What's with that? I'd get one might be bounced but not all of them."

I swallowed. It sounded like Rose sorted out the aftermath of what was still hanging after Caim's funeral.

"I even went to your parents house but they gave me the address I was staying at." Amy continued. "Your Facebook and Twitter died. Including Skype and Discord!" It was like you just fell off the edge of the world. And I started asking Jamie and all them but they were all like 'I haven't seen Alice in like a year'." I laughed when she deepened her voice to sound like the guy who was a friend of ours since forever.

"Alice!" She cried out. "What happened? Tell me!"

I couldn't tell her about all the vampires out there and how Mattie took me to Rose and everything else that happened. But I knew that being off the map for like two years needed a decent reply. I looked away in thought.

What should I say to even convince her?

"Amy, I'm not sure how I should tell you this. But something happened then so I had to leave. Mattie's been with me all the way so he's more like a rock to me rather than a boyfriend." Jeez, when I said boyfriend I even felt a slight bit of happiness and a dizziness that meant I was really, really in love with him.

"Being off social media was a way to avoid all the questions so I could put myself back together again. I couldn't deal with the uni work so... " I shrugged, "I left and treated it more like a gap year to try and recover." There. That sounded decent enough, right? I'm amazed I even thought of something like that on the spot.

I also hope that she doesn't ask me about Caim. I don't think my heart could take it.

Amy leaned back as if she treated being in my personal space as being able to hear me better.

"Okay."

Is that it? Was that all?

"How's uni going at Birmingham, then?"

Uhm…

"I bet it's just like ours… I'm stumped in writing for my thesis and it's due in two weeks."

Amy and I parted at around nine after exchanging our phone numbers and agreeing to meetup again next time. But with her uni work and my… activities, I wasn't exactly sure if we could even meet up at all. But I decided not to mention that. By the time I arrived back at The Manor, it was warm and strangely welcoming.

The lights were on. I'd never been back at The Manor at night before so I could see how bright it shone despite the curtains drawn.

If I didn't live here I wouldn't have known how friendly it really was. The grass no one cut in forever was way too long which obscured the view of the ground floor. The old Victorian building with its spikes, scales and whatever else gave it a look more suited to Halloween.

But before I could open the door I paused. The walk home gave me time to think. Not once during the day out did I think of Harding. Was that what Mattie was aiming for? To occupy my time with happier thoughts?

But now that I met Amy again I was wondering what kind of feeder I really wanted to be. I needed a bit more information for that which I hoped I would ask Mattie about tonight.

I found the man in question in the kitchen. I smiled, "Hey." that smile grew larger by a few millimeters when I saw he was top naked.

Damn. I don't think I'll tire of Mattie like this.

"Welcome back, Alice." Mattie was opposite me on the other side of the island in the kitchen. I wasn't sure if he was actually naked or just the top half. He pulled a stool to sit, as did I. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, thanks to your excuse to get out of there." I eyed him.

He grinned, "I wasn't that far."

"Eh?"

"I just… wanted to see how you were like with other people. You looked happy."

"You could have joined."

His head tilted to the side. "Yeah…"

A silence drifted over us. I wasn't too sure what to say for that so I decided to go with what I wanted to ask him.

"Mattie?"

"Alice?"

I swallowed. "You know with the feeder thing… what happens if I decide to just be a normal feeder?"

Mattie hummed. Okay, maybe I should have asked him when he had clothes on.

"You'll go back to the circumstances when Rose recruited you. In your case it would be going through university so Rose will deal with the university with your certificates and all that. From there it'll be just a normal life for you, getting your degree, job hunting… things humans do. The only difference would be that I would still be taking your blood that would be our only means of physical contact. But it's okay, Alice, I don't mind you living here if you choose to live a feeder life."

That's as close to normal as it gets, I think.

Mattie got up to go to the fridge and grab a blood packet. He had boxers on.

"What do you think I should be?" I asked it before knowing a vampire's memory is clear and sharp but I wanted to have confirmation...

He looked at me then. "I can't make the decision for you."

"I-I know." I squirmed in my seat.

"What about the blood bank and all that?"

"You'd still have to donate."

I nodded. If I choose a feeder life I'd write my thesis for uni, head into a job market that fluctuated and might possibly face rejection emails. I'd find a place somewhere away from Mattie because it just didn't feel right if I stayed here.

But if I choose the advanced feeder lifestyle then I'd have to deal with the emotions I felt when I… shot Harding. Do I have the mental capacity to go through it every time? Will I eventually get over it like Mattie and Iain?

There was also another reason. The support. Having been in Rose's company for two years I hadn't been in contact with anyone from uni. Well, minus one. If I chose the normal feeder lifestyle I'd have to go back and reacquaint myself or make new friends. I did not like that prospect at all.

Rose offered acceptance and support… and two guns. Ugh.

It was only then I noticed Mattie staring at me. "What?"

"Nothing."

I narrowed my eyes. "You can't say that and expect me to accept that, surely?"

He sighed. "I was just thinking how different this decision is compared to Caim's."

Now that got my attention. "What do you mean?"

Mattie leaned back against the counter top with his now warmed up foul smelling blood in a mug. "Caim was pretty decided on becoming an advanced feeder. Even before we told him the risks." He nodded, "you want to know what you're signing up for."

"I have to, don't I?" I mumbled. "It's not exactly my decision to be with Rose."

"That too. But hey, you don't need to rush into it. It's not like Iain wants an answer from you tomorrow. Sleep it over and we can talk in the morning on it, if you prefer."

I sighed mumbling a 'good night'. What he said was true, I didn't have to rush but with meeting Amy… I felt like I might be a step closer to making a decision.

I lay awake next morning staring the ceiling down as if I was in a competition with it. There was a weight on my shoulders but it was much worse than last night.

Lately my sleep was plagued with shots of Harding but last night's sleep wasn't. I knew I dreamt of something but I couldn't think of what it was.

But when I turned my head to look at the clock, I was greeted by emerald eyes.

"Shit! Mattie!" Shocked, I scurried to the other side of the bed, almost falling over the edge. "What are you doing?"

Was he actually that close to me?

His mouth had been so close to me. If I leaned in a couple inches they would have connected.

Ugh. And even just thinking it hit straight between my legs. I had to rub them together and pray the vampire next to me did not notice or even mention it.

He was naked beside me. Wait, he had boxers on last night!

With one arm propped up on the pillow and his glorious torso in plain view, Matthew Taylor was a sight to behold. Which was very hard to avoid when the blanket covered the lower half.

At least let me know that he's wearing them!

"Morning, Alice." He grinned. Ah, it's Playful Mattie who's out now. "I was concerned so I wanted to know you were getting a good enough sleep."

Did he know about two nights before?

I looked away. There was only so much I can handle with him like this right next to me.

"I'm fine."

"I see."

I curled up against him, my back facing him as if he was going to spoon me. I didn't feel like getting up just yet.

Thinking about last night after sleeping on it gave me a lot more questions to ask him. I felt kind of embarrassed to ask.

And to bring up Caim again… and it's a comparision between him and I! I was not like my brother, so why?

A hand patted my head. Or it shuffled my hair a bit.

"I guess you have a million questions to ask?" Mattie mumbled against me. I know I brought about this position but him and I… in this way… it felt right for my heart.

How can you fall in love with him now though? How can you even be in love with him now?

I stamped the thought down. I couldn't tell if Professional Alice said it.

"I guess." But first I needed food and food was downstairs.

As much as I didn't want to break free from this position, I had to get refreshed.

"Alice," Mattie took my arm. "Wait." His eyes were red. Oh.

When was the last time he took my blood? I can't remember it was so long ago.

The hand on my arm slowly made its way to my shoulder and in a flash I was pulled on the bed with Mattie straddling me.

"Mat-"

I didn't struggle. What was that rule again? Rule two: Never fight another vampire. I think being in this kind of… situation...

Mattie looked like a man possessed. With eyes the colour of blood he towered over me sending a shiver race down my spine. There was no where I could turn to. I doubt I could have even bucked him off me even if he was human.

"Alice, you know as a feeder you should know how long your vampire can last without any fresh blood."

"Technically I'm a feeder in training." I heard myself mumbling before I could stop myself.

"Or whether he or she loves the taste of microwaved blood in a mug." He leaned forward exaggerating his height to place a gentle finger on my chin to lift my face to meet his.

I had to close my eyes. I was suddenly shy. My face was hot. I was breathing deeper to curve that need I had for him between my legs. He'll know I was squirming for him.

"Alice."

I kept my eyes closed. No way was I going to stare back into those blood red eyes at such a short distance.

"Alice, open your eyes." His tone was much gentler than before and took one of my defenses down. Not once did that finger on my chin falter.

Silence descended upon us. My senses were on high alert wondering what Mattie would do next. Since the first kiss in the shower that I will never forget, we had a few more hidden kisses so I could be be accustomed with his fangs. Yeah right.

After a few moments I peeked an eye open. But just as I did so, Mattie claimed me with his mouth, taking advantage of my gasp to shove his invading tongue. Every time he did so it hit between my legs. I was squirming until he trailed the short length from my mouth to my neck and finally bit.

I sat in Iain's office. Normally Mattie would be sat next to me but right now he was leaning against the railing on the hallway. With Ted activated, Iain sat before me with his head under a bunch of paperwork, mine and Mattie's report of what happened nearly a week ago in his hands.

I didn't know what I was expecting. We received a call from Iain and here were are. Or rather, I was.

I cleared my throat which was the only thing that you could hear apart from Iain's occasional murmurs.

"Uhm, Iain…" I didn't really know what to say. It was something that could just break this really awkward silence.

"Right. Sorry." Iain said as he gathered up the reports, lined them up and placed them in a drawer tucked in the desk. "I've looked at both of them Alice and it's pretty clear that you have the ability to become an advanced feeder. Is that what you want?"

I swallowed. Ah, why didn't I think of this? "Yes."

"Then that's what you'll be. You realise the dangers, right?"

I did. Advanced feeders were in the line of danger and as a consequence of that they were prone to post traumatic stress. If the feeder had symptoms of it then they or their vampire would have to report it to their manager, in this case, Mattie or I to Iain.

If in the case you didn't get it then after twenty five years of service the feeder will have to leave Rose. This voluntary leave was mandatory for all feeders. It was a procedure put in place mainly for the feeders' health. I learnt all about it.

"Yes." My voice came out as a whisper so I cleared my throat again to say it louder and clearer. "Iain?" He nodded. "Why did Mattie have to write a report?"

"It's just how it's done, Alice."

"Ah…" On another day I probably would have questioned him further but I didn't really feel like doing much.

"Alice, are you sure? You certainly don't look like you want to be an advanced feeder." He came round to put his hand on my forehead which shocked me. Maybe it was me or maybe it was how he came across or maybe it was those words Mattie told me in the funeral car that just made me think Iain was all about the job.

I shook my head. "I'm fine, Iain."

"The first is always the worst and according to Mattie's report, it seemed like you kept it together. It's best to talk with Mattie, you know. He's seen a lot and since becoming his manager, he doesn't seem to judge many people. He's just a nice guy."

Eh… "Yeah, I know…" I paused. "Iain? What's with all the dirty looks Mattie gets? I noticed that before…" My voice trailed off not knowing how to finish that sentence. I just wanted his opinion.

Iain stared at me like he couldn't make up his mind whether to tell me or not. Finally he sighed saying, "To be honest I don't really know. If anything vampire society should appreciate Mattie." Iain went round his desk and turned on the computer. "I'm showing you this because you're his feeder."

Intrigued, I walked round to lean on his chair as he clicked on a few folders. They were all I known the archive section.

Iain opened one image file and I saw four people (two men and two women), in black and white all smiling at the camera. They all had Victorian clothing and were stood with their right hands clasped with one another. It looked like they were all friends. I recognised Mattie straight away. He was on the far left.

"This photo was taken in 1875." Shit, Mattie's that old? "This photo is of the founders of Bloody Rose."

A moment went by before what Iain said clicked in my head. "Mattie founded Rose?"

He nodded. "He's the last survivor out of the group." Iain pointed to the girl second from the left and slowly made his way to the far right of the photograph, "she died from pneumonia, he committed suicide shortly after this was taken, she died from old age at least that was what was said on the newspaper that covered the story." Iain closed the file then pulled up another, a newspaper clipping. The name of the printer wasn't there.

"What do you mean 'at least that was said'?"

"Mattie murdered them all."

"What?" A sense of dread filled my gut. I knew it. I knew he was a vampire and was capable of doing these things but… to hear it and have confirmed… I just didn't want to believe it. The Mattie it knew was not capable of something on this scale. He's nice and joked a lot and he does have his mood swings but that was it...

"You see here, Alice," Iain pulled me out of my thoughts as he zoomed in on the photograph of the group, specifically of Mattie's smiling face. "Mattie has bite marks on his neck. Fresh bite marks."

I got it. Newly turned vampires didn't have any experience in holding back their instinct. "So the only thing we know of his history is that he's at least this old."

"How come there is no record of his history? Is there a record of other vampires?"

"History records are Bloody Paper's jurisdiction. Right now we… don't have access to it…" Iain shuffled in his chair. "Since they moved HQ, we haven't had any updated information. And yes, we have records of every vampire but it's just Mattie's that we don't have."

So Paper is hiding something?

"So other vampires know why they dislike him?"

Iain ran his fingers through his hair leaning back against the chair so far it balanced on two legs "I don't know. My guess is they don't class Mattie as one of them even though he has pure blood status or-"

"Pure blood?" Shit! That's right at the top of the vampire order.

Seeing my face Iain grimaced. "All tests show Mattie is a pure blood vampire. I don't know how a vampire would think so…" He clapped his hands together. "Enough of the old info, let's bring Mattie in to give him the news."

As I made my way to the door, Iain said, "There's also one other thing," which made me turn around on the spot. "By any case are you in love with Mattie?"

I blinked at him. Alarms in my head rang and it was hard to hold a thought.

"No." But I said it in that 'of course I am' tone. The one that says I'm lying but I'm really bad at it. Shit. I blushed hard.

Strangely enough Iain raised his hands in a defensive manner. "I'm not being nosy Alice but it's my job to know - although I know that sounds absolutely stupid.

"You'll know some managers here are 'by the nine point book' and you can probably tell that I'm not one of them with Caim and Mattie's relationship. So don't fret and neither am I going to tell him."

I sighed, "Okay, I am then." I was at the door now turning Ted off. It was only then I looked at him. Lately Iain surpasses my impression of him and to look at him now made me feel a bit closer to him. I suppose it was his years on the job that made him ask the question.

"Just be careful okay?"

"I know."

As I opened the door I saw Mattie with his back to me leaning against the railing.

Damn he has a good ass. I shook my head, what?

"Mattie?"

He turned slowly. I guess he thought I was going to join him but saw I kept Iain's door open.

"Aw, Alice, what's wrong?" I only realised what he said after he took my red cheeks in his cold hands after walking the short distance toward me. Damn, I wasn't over my blushing yet?

"Nothing. Iain wants to see you."

"Sure?" I think it was a question. Or he was just saying sure to the Iain part. I just nodded and let him through.

Ted reactivated and both sat on the usual chairs, we faced a smiling Iain who told Mattie of my decision to become an advanced feeder. I got the biggest grin from Mattie and a damn near to death bear hug. Was he secretly hoping I'd follow him? Was he hoping I'd be like my brother and follow those footsteps? I am not like my brother. But every time I said that, it felt like I didn't know Caim at all. I only knew of his life above ground with me at The Manor. It was like he had been living two lives.

Just take it one step at a time. I reasoned with myself. And stop comparing yourself to Caim. It's not healthy.

"Alice," Mattie spoke into my hair. "I welcome you fully to Rose."