Part 11

As Paul moved towards the back of the bus, River made her way up to where Van sat. She had to admit, she would probably get lonely too if she had to drive that big old bus. Even though they really hadn't spent very much time together, River felt some sort of connection with Van. He was a kind man and he joked around with her, where most people were more serious than she'd like.

"Knock, knock," she said softly, "Can I join you?"

"Of course you can. Sit on down, Princess," Van answered with a smile on his face, calling her by the nickname he'd taken a liking to for the past week, "What's the boss man doing?"

"Callin' his trainer. Paul wants to see if Dodd can take me on as well, help me gain muscle and work out without over doing myself," River explained, "He said somethin' about a nutrition plan too."

Van nodded, "What did he make you eat today?"

"I had that cheeseburger soup," River said with a knowing laugh. This was a discussion she'd had with Van every day and for some reason it always made her feel better. Usually it made her nervous to talk about what she ate, she was always so self-conscious about it but something about Van put her at ease. "It was surprisingly good, too."

"Well, that's good to hear," he told her, "Now, I have to ask, are you one of those Twilight obsessed kinda girls? Because my granddaughter is obsessed with Edward Cullen and she made me sit down and watch one of them movies. I have to tell ya, if you plan on staying with us on the bus, Twilight is gonna be off limits."

"But Van," she whined playfully, "can I at least bring my books?"

He opened his mouth to argue but was cut off by her cell phone ringing. River pulled it out of her pocket and simply stared at it. She hadn't really talked to any of them since what she had deemed 'the intervention' and she wasn't sure if she was ready too, either. Then again, it wasn't as if they had called her or made any effort to be in contact with her. Zacharias had told her that Mark called him, just to check in and see how things were going with River but he hadn't called her. Until now.

"Answer it, River," Paul said, suddenly standing behind her seat, "He's trying now, don't push him away. Let him in; tell him what we found out."

She nodded and tapped the pad of her thumb against the touch screen before bringing it up to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hey River," answered the voice of Michelle.

River sighed but tried to not let it affect her as she sent Paul a look, "Hey 'Chelle. Why are you callin' from Dad's phone?"

"Mine broke. Someone smashed it, accidentally," Michelle said hesitantly.

"What? How does someone smash a phone accidentally? Unless someone was drunk," River said, moving from the passenger seat of the bus to the more comfortable couch.

"Oh, no one was drunk. Someone was very upset and thought they were throwing their own phone," Michelle explained, "So, I'm getting a new one in a few days. I just wanted to see how you were doin'. I'm sorry that we kinda ambushed you last week; we were worried after not hearing from you for so long. Then Paul told us you weren't talkin' to anyone and even Randy called me and-"

"Wait, Randy? As in Randy Orton? I'm gonna punch him because I was talkin' to him. He was the only person I was talkin' to," River admitted, "We had that house show in St. Charles and he made me stay at his house. Of course, that started some stuff with the guys in the back. But he said Sam was begging to see me. What did he say?"

"Well, sweetie, I was getting to that before you interrupted me," Michelle teased, "He just said that you were overly quiet, especially towards the guys you normally talk to. He told me that a couple times it felt like you were avoiding someone but he wasn't sure who it was. He was just worried about you; he's not your usual go-to guy so he knew something was up."

"He is such a snitch," River muttered under her breath.

"But you never answered my question," Michelle said, interrupting whatever else River was going to say, "How are you doin'?"

"Honestly, I'm doin' really well. Paul has been helpin' me a lot and he actually just told me that he's been researchin' all week for treatment stuff. We just went over a lot of stuff that I can do that might help," River told her.

"Really? That's so great, River! I'm really glad to hear that. Listen, I've got to get goin' but I'll call you when I get my new phone. Alright?"

"Oh, um, yeah. I guess that's good. I'll talk to you later," River said sadly.

"Bye."

She heard the light click of Michelle hanging up the phone and turned her face to look out the window. Tears stung her eyes as she tried to push the bad thoughts out of her head. With a tight grip on her phone, she rested her elbow on the back of the couch and used her fist to hit her forehead. River tried to tell herself that they did care, if they didn't then they wouldn't have staged the intervention. But sometimes it felt like the only time they cared was when she was sick. If she wasn't hurting herself, she wasn't important anymore. The oldest child was always the screw up, and River personified that to a T.

"River?" Paul asked softly, bringing her back to reality.

"It wasn't him. It was Michelle," River told him without looking away from the window. She seemed to be mesmerized by way everything flew by so quickly, it made her focus more on the trees and hills in the distance rather than her own life.

"And?" he pressed.

"She couldn't talk long," she said and Paul nodded, waiting for her to figure out what she was feeling. "I don't think I want to answer my phone for a while, unless it's for work. Or my brother and sisters."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Paul asked, "Keeping your dad out of your healing process? From what I can tell, you've always been so close. I don't know what that would do more, help you or hurt you."

"He's keepin' himself out. I wanted to talk to him so bad, just now. I wanted to tell him everythin' you told me, even if I could have to 'Chelle and she would have told him, I would have been happy. But she didn't even ask what it was. She just said it was good to hear but then she had to go. Sometimes, I feel like they only care when I- never mind. It's stupid," River shook her head and dropped her phone to the couch.

"No, it's not stupid. What were you going to say?"

"I feel like they only care when I'm not eatin'. Then when I do, it's like I'm not important any more. I don't know how to explain it so that it will make sense to you because it doesn't make sense to me. In my head, I know the things I think are irrational. My self-conscious habits don't make any sense and I can't figure it out," she told him, "I don't understand why you even want to figure it out."

"Because I care, River. You're a good kid and you don't give yourself enough credit," Paul said, trying to comfort her. The only response he got from her was a nod.

I'm just a kid to him, River thought, why did I think I'd ever be more?

SandraSmit: That is the exact reason I wrote him that way, to show that he cared for her!

Bingobaby:I'm glad you liked it!