RTC Chapter 11
It's completely unlike me to name my chapters, but if pushed I would have to name this one
Heaven and Hell...Part 1
(From the song by Black Sabbath)
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Sam felt the power building, gathering strength. Anger warred with the peace within him once again, and he willed them to grab hold and spiral inwards, to work together. The fighting factions finally fell into submission as they listened to their commander.
Sam was now in complete control, and God help anyone who got in his way.
God help, indeed...
It was different to the explosion at the cemetery in Wyoming. Yeah, it was spectacular and scary, but it carried something else that was far more...intense.
Shock waves passed through all who were present, and the ground opened up, a huge crater appearing in the earth as the bus, with Sam still on board, plummeted downwards.
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It took Dean some time before he understood that it was Just. Pure. Sam.
Freaky Sam admittedly. But Sam nonetheless. He hadn't gone dark side.
Never could, never would.
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Lucifer sneered. "As much as it pains me to bring you this revelation hunter, but that's the wrong answer! He never abandoned humans. If he had, then hunters wouldn't have existed in the first bloody place. No, his only mistake was granting you...people...free will."
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Sam felt the world shift as awareness gradually encroached. He heard the bleeping of the machines, and the muttering of voices, one of which he was pretty certain belonged to a rather freaked Dr Michaels. But as he became fully receptive, he realised that the voices were frantic.
His eyes snapped open.
"Dean?" He whispered.
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Sing me a song, you're a singer
do me a wrong, you're a bringer of evil
The Devil is never a maker
the less that you give, you're a taker
So it's on and on and on,
It's Heaven and Hell...
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It looked to everyone in the room as though an ethereal firework display were taking place, as the walls lit up in a kaleidoscope of colours. It was almost as if someone had taken all the sunlight in the world and shone it through a huge crystal, the prism splitting the light into a million glass shards.
It was almost blinding.
Then Bobby turned to see Sam struggling to sit up and immediately pushed him back down. "Easy there Sam. You've been out for a while..."
"No. You don't understand! Dean's in big trouble Bobby, you have to let me go back..."
Bobby hardened his gaze. "Forget it! No way."
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"So." Lucifer grinned at Dean. "Hurts does it?"
"What does?" Dean frowned in confusion, still wondering what had happened to Sam. Was he hurt? Was he dead? No, somehow he didn't think so and in any case he refused to think like that.
He suddenly bent double as agony shot through his chest and abdomen. "Ah Christ not again!" He gasped.
"Now you see? That's just what makes him so angry," Lucifer sneered. "His son had absolutely nothing to do with any of this, but as usual you people insist on dragging him into it. When are you humans going to start taking some responsibility for your actions? It's nothing to do with Christ, and I'm not the one who commits all the atrocities in the world. I merely make the suggestion. It's your free will that's the real culprit here. And all actions have consequences, like it or not!"
Dean stared at him in angry amazement. "What the hell are you talkin' about?" Dean growled out through the pain.
"That's a bit more bloody like it!" The Devil clasped his hands behind his back and strode up and down like a regimental sergeant major inspecting his troops.
"Sam was killed outright by a human. Fair's fair, it was over for him..."
"The bastard stabbed him in the back! What's so fucking fair about that?!" Dean yelled and advanced on Lucifer, who obviously wasn't in the least bit afraid.
Lucifer stopped pacing and glared hard at the kid. "People get killed all the time by such methods, some far more painful and far messier. What makes Sam's case so much more special than the others? Go on, justify yourself!" He stepped right up into Dean's face just as Dean went toe to toe with him. "What gave you the right to change the natural course of events?"
He jabbed Dean hard in the stomach with a finger. "Indeed, what gave you the right to wrench him out of Heaven and give him back his life?
Do you even realise what you've done to him?"
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They say that life's a carousel
Spinning fast, you've got to ride it well
The world is full of Kings and Queens
who blind your eyes and steal your dreams
It's Heaven and Hell, oh well
And they'll tell you black is really white
The moon is just the sun at night
And when you walk in golden halls
you get to keep the gold that falls
It's Heaven and Hell, oh no!
Fool, fool!
You've got to bleed for the dancer!
Fool, fool!
Look for the answer!
Fool, fool, fool!
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Sam tried to raise himself up but fell back at the sharp pain in his ribs, the movement tugging painfully on the stitches.
Dr Michaels, Max and Chris were desperately trying to re-start Dean's heart, but as Sam stared at the cardiac monitor, heard the high-pitched squeal, the flat line became the centre of his world and he felt nothing but absolute and total black despair.
"Dean, come back!" Sam whispered, and flinched at the all too familiar sight of his brother's body bucking and arching under the difib paddles. "Don't leave me..."
It went on for long desperate minutes and Sam could almost feel his own heart trying to pound its way out of his chest.
"Please...you can't give up now. Not when we're so close..." Sam whispered again.
When nothing worked and the EMTs were about ready to give up, Sam went ballistic.
"Don't you fucking dare give up on him. Get me up NOW!" He screamed angrily. When no one made a move to help him, he threw the covers back and one at a time used his good hand to drag his legs over the edge of the bed. Wincing at the agony that tore through his chest, he made a grab at the wheel chair someone had thoughtfully placed by Sam's bed. But he missed, grasped at nothing but air, and found himself toppling forward, about to smash his face into the tiled floor. He felt someone catch him, stopping his fall, and a comforting voice right up close to his ear.
"It's ok son. I'll help you. Just try to calm down..." Then Bobby glared over his shoulder at Dr Michaels. "You heard the boy, keep tryin' and don't you damn well stop 'til ya brought Dean back, ya hear? Or someone's soon gonna be wearing those paddles in a real inconvenient place!"
Dr Michaels gaped like a fish out of water, his mouth falling open uselessly only to snap shut again.
Oh suuuurrrre. We keep tryin' 'til we bring him back. Yeah, 'cos that's so damn easy. Oh yeah, I do it all the time. For kicks. It's a hobby of mine. Started back in med school and now? I just can't give it up didn't ya know? Oh and uh...I'm not the only one who'sinsane round here!He knew better than to continue his personal 'rant of extreme sarcasm' out loud, and kept it within the confines of his own head. But he had the sneakiest idea that they all knew.
Sighing morosely, Dr Michaels picked up the paddles and once again tried to bring Howlin' Mad Winchester (Mark 1, he added) back from the brink.
In the meantime, Howlin Mad Winchester (Mark 2) was being helped into the wheelchair by his Uncle (Howlin' Mad Singer, it seemed).
Whilst Sam watched intently, eyes filling with tears, Bobby readjusted the position of his broken leg, trying to make it more comfortable for him. Not that Sam could feel anything below the waist, but Bobby didn't want to anything to hinder Sam's recovery. It would come as a pretty bad blow when Sam got feeling back in his legs in a few months only to be permanently lame because of a badly treated broken leg.
Bobby purposely kept his gaze away from Dean.
Come on Dean, ya brother needs ya...
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Dean staggered back under the onslaught of Lucifer's words, and it felt as though a bomb had gone off in his mind.
Dean didn't think for a moment that Heaven wasn't exactly where Sam was headed the day he died; if anyone deserved the ultimate reward it was his sweet natured baby brother. It was just that Dean had never really considered where Sam had gone when he'd died at Cold Oak. Too busy grieving for the loss of his only family; it hadn't even crossed his mind. On top of that, Dean had never really believed in the existence of Heaven.
Clearly reading Dean's mind again, Lucifer let out a long world-weary sigh. "You silly child! Of course there's a bloody Heaven! Think about it! There has to be. There's a Hell right?" Seeing the look on Dean's face, he smiled. "Ohhhh, I get it; so you place a great deal of faith in a tormented afterlife, but the idea of there being a Heaven, the place where All The Good People Go, is just too much for you is it? My word! You do have self-esteem issues don't you!"
He shook his head, sensing the grief and guilt now storming through the oldest Winchester boy.
Dean couldn't speak, could barely breathe. Oh God! What have I done?
"There has to be a balance. Man and woman, light and dark, Heaven and Hell! I understand it's what some of your race refer to as Yin and Yang? Well, that's as close an analogy as it
gets. And unfortunately, even I can see the sense in it all. Not even I'm stupid enough to upset that balance."
Dean was hearing all this, but he was also going through his own personal dialogue.
Sam's right. I was selfish. I brought him back 'cos I didn't want to be alone in the world. I brought him back 'cos I couldn't go on without him. But now I might have ruined him, ruined any chance he might have had at happiness. He was in Heaven, and I brought him back out against his will. How can he ever forgive me?
But I can't go back and put it right, wouldn't even if I could. Just because I'm that godamn selfish!
Driven by the anger and the guilt, Dean launched himself at The Morning Star, knowing he had to do one last good thing. For his brother. For Sam.
Satan blocked the first blow easily. By the second, he was busy inspecting his fingernails, muttering about the need for a manicure. Just as he caught Dean's wrist and twisted hard until Dean was on his knees, one arm wrenched painfully behind his back, Lucifer smiled and nodded. Had Dean been in a position to he'd have seen his captor's nails suddenly gleam, and then smooth out into almost a French polish effect.
"That's much better!" Satan admiring his nails for a second before glanced down at his prisoner, struggling uselessly in his grip. He seemed almost surprised to see Dean and nodded in greeting. "Still here? My word! Where were we? Ah yes, that's right..."
Dean found himself dragged along the road, loose gravel tearing painful gouges in his abdomen as his T-shirt rode up. Then he was yanked upwards, forced to his feet, facing over the drop where he'd last seen the doomed coach.
"Take a good look Winchester." Lucifer hissed in Dean's ear. "Remember this, remember this place. Your brother's last stand do you think?"
"Fuck you!" Dean wouldn't give up even knowing how useless this was; he wasn't going down without a fight. He kicked out catching The Devil on the shin, then followed it up with an attempt to gouge out his eyes. "I'll make damn sure you'll remember me!"
Lucifer quickly began to tire of Dean's feeble attempts to fight, and pushed him back until he was teetering over the edge of the drop. Time slowed and Dean stared long and hard as Lucifer, eyes narrowed, slowly reached out...
Just as Dean lost any semblance of balance, as he was about to fall, Lucifer smiled sadly...then grabbed Dean's shirt front, pulled him forward and threw him to the ground, leaving him on his hands and knees, breathing heavily.
"Wha...? You...bastard!"
Satan watched him, once again knowing exactly what he was thinking.
"Ya know, it really is all about free will and choice. Yours. I can't tell you if Sam will ever reach his so-called rightful place in Heaven, not now. And even if I did I wouldn't let on!" The smug smile made Dean cringe, and he wanted to wipe it off The Devil's face. Preferably with an angle grinder. "But if it's of any comfort to you, you both fought well. Sam's realised his true potential, and you're out of the deal. And that's the only reason you're both getting a second chance, and therefore another opportunity to cock it right up." His voice turned low and menacing. "But there will always be more Ferrymen. So be told Dean Winchester.
Be warned..."
He strode forward and slammed his newly manicured hand downwards onto the top of Dean's head. Dean collapsed face down on the road, consciousness gradually deserting him.
But as he faded out he heard Lucifer say something that confused the hell out of him.
"Rest for now, my son..."
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"Dean?" Sam could barely breathe with the anxiety flowing though him when his brother suddenly jerked and gasped. "Dean!"
Dean gagged and choked, but once Dr Michaels had him properly intubated he soon settled down into the slow breathing pattern of the respirator. In fact as Sam studied him, his older brother looked almost peaceful for once.
He glanced up as Dr Michaels pulled open Dean's eyes, the flash of the penlight eliciting no response.
"Is he ok? I mean, he'll wake up soon, right?" When he received no answer, Sam wheeled himself round Dean's bed and virtually pinned the doctor up against the wall, casted broken leg nestled firmly in the MD's groin. "Well? IS HE GONNA BE OK?" He demanded angrily.
"Uh...um..." Dr Michaels was having trouble swallowing, mainly because he was worried that any slight involuntary movement might be the cause of his testicles performing the steady climb right back up to a place that only choir boys are familiar with. His voice box, automatically adjusted for a few octaves hirer by now, just managed to squeak out a response.
"I need to examine him first...just...please...could I possibly have my balls back? In one piece would be good."
Sam blinked, then realised what he'd done. "Oh god! Uh...sure. Sorry." He wheeled backwards, trying to put a reassuring distance between himself and the doctor. But the tense look on Bobby's face was anything but reassuring. In fact it was about as far from reassuring as you can get without actually changing continents.
Once Dr Michaels felt his groin was out of immediate danger he sighed. "Look, I just don't know. What do you want me to say? Sam, you had no heart beat for about thirty minutes. You were dead, but now you're back...and with no trace of brain damage." He considered that for a second. "Of course I can't account for your lunacy before asking me to KILL YOU, but I'm assuming that's just the norm for you and your...family. But Dean's been de...under for a lot longer." He stared hard at Sam. "I'm gonna keep a close eye on him, but if he doesn't regain consciousness soon, or he deteriorates..."
He didn't need to finish that sentence. Sam understood perfectly. It was a pretty dicey situation and Sam had no idea what to expect. He just had to hope that Dean would pull through and come back. After all, he'd done it before. But Sam's inner voice suddenly stuck an oar in.
Yeah, but he hadn't struck no less than two deals at the cross roads to save your worthless hide, only for you to up and leave him facing down the ultimate evil. You left him to fight Lucifer alone!
Bobby could tell that Sam was already silently berating himself, and crouched down in front of his wheelchair, grabbing his shoulders gently but firmly.
"Now you listen to me! Dean knew what he was doing so don't you go heavy on the guilt trip there son." Bobby knew what Sam was thinking just by the dark look on his face, and he wanted to shake him. Hard. "Forget it. You already tried that. Now I don't know what the hell it was you did in there, or wherever the hell there is, but something sure worked! Now it's up to Dean to find his way back. And he will come back, Sam. You just need to have faith."
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The closer you get to the meaning
the sooner you'll know that you're dreaming
So it's on and on and on,
oh it's on and on and on
It goes on and on and on,
Heaven and Hell.
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Sam stayed at his bedside. He slept in the wheelchair, he ate in the wheelchair, though not much, to Bobby's despair...and after days turned into a week, he was on the verge of shutting down. Bobby eyed Sam with despair and concern. The hollows under his eyes had deepened and his skin was almost translucent. Dr Michaels had even tried lacing some soup with a mild sedative, but Sam spat the food out in disgust.
Crouching down beside him, Bobby tried cajoling, begging and even threatening him to take better care of himself.
"Come on Sam." Bobby cupped Sam's jaw and held the water bottle to his lips. "You have to drink this, you're dehydrating kid."
Sam just blinked at him. "You said to have faith. But he's not comin' back is he?"
Bobby didn't know what else to do or say. The truth of it was he just plain had no idea.
So he lied.
"I don't believe that Sam. I think he's just takin' some time out. To rest and heal, which is what you should be doin'. So come on, let me help you back into bed. You wanna be fit when he wakes up right?"
Sam's gaze slowly slid back to his brother.
"No. I'm stayin' right here. He's been there for me, and now it's my turn to be there for him." There was no way Sam was getting back in his bed. If Dean moved or woke up, Sam wanted to be at his side, and seeing as Sam couldn't walk then staying in the wheelchair was the only option. At least that damn tube had been removed from Dean's throat; that was something to be thankful for.
"Sam..."
"No!" Sam remained steadfast in his chair.
Bobby left the water on the bedside table and wisely retreated. Ellen was waiting for him in the corridor, and demanded an explanation. By the time he was finished, she was looking pretty pale.
"He aint gonna be able to survive like that for much longer Bobby!" Ellen slid down the wall, and buried her face in her hands. "The poor kid's been through so much. If he doesn't eat something soon..."
Bobby soon joined her. "Yeah...I know..." He looped an arm round her shoulders and she leaned into him. It was probably the most physical contact either of them had experienced in a long time.
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Authors notes:
Well, Sam's making himself ill over Dean, and Dean's had a bit of an eye opener. But then, as he once told us, demon's lie, yes? Just to mess with our heads? I know a few people like that. Some of my former school teachers for starters!
And yes, I messed around with the song lyrics a bit just because it felt right at those particular stages of the story.
Hope you enjoyed it, and the next chapter will be the last; its already written and being proof read. So if you want to know what happens then I strongly suggest you hit that review button.
...You gotta let me know my darlin's...
Kind regards,
ST.xxx.