A Conflict of Interest

xXx

Chapter 10

Cauterizing the Wounds

We took off down the street – Essie and I still clad from head to toe in our yukata and geta – toward the five-storey complex that was immersed in fire. Flames leapt high into the night sky, devouring the building down to its very bones. Emergency vehicles surrounded the blaze, whilst helicopters with monsoon buckets hovered overhead. Thick black smoke belched into the night sky, as other patrons – some wearing their pyjamas – gathered around on the street, looking on in abject horror.

I suddenly felt my knees give way beneath me. "No…that's our apartment block! All my work…!"

"My homework!" Essie shrieked.

"My investment property!"

I snapped my head toward Kaiba. "You own that building?"

He looked at me like I was simple. "You really think that Nobita chump got you such a nice apartment, so close to the city?"

"Figures." I muttered. "Damn it…I hope everyone got out safely. Not to mention everything I own, was in that apartment."

Kaiba suddenly blanched. "Everything…?"

"Yes – everything!"

"Son of a bitch!" Kaiba suddenly shouted, then dropped to the ground on one knee and punched the pavement with his fist. "Your Blue Eyes!"

Mokuba gasped at his outburst. "Seto! Don't break your hand!"

"People have probably died in that fire, and all you care about is a damn card?! God, who even are you!?" Essie shrieked, howling like a child, at this point. I stood up and pulled her close to me, as she sobbed on my shoulder.

"Insurance will cover the rest, but that Blue Eyes White Dragon card was irreplaceable!" Kaiba retorted, getting to his feet.

"Well, now neither of us can have it." I observed dryly. "It's not the end of the world, Kaiba; we're all still here." I turned back to Essie. "It's good that we went out to Hanami tonight, Imouto. You probably saved our lives."

Essie stopped crying for a moment, blinking. "I did?"

"Yeah!" Mokuba chimed in. "We're all safe and sound; think what could have happened, if you hadn't gone out!"

"B-but…where are we going to stay tonight?" she snivelled. "What are we going to do? What about those other people?"

"Don't you worry about that; you guys can stay with us for a while." Mokuba offered. "Lex-Senpai has stayed with us, before!"

Essie gave me a cock-eyed look. "You have?"

I felt my mouth go dry. "Don't ask."

Kaiba phoned his driver to come and collect us, and I felt a pang of sadness as we passed the inferno that had, until a few hours ago, been our home. Thankfully, my emails and most of my documents were saved to my work computer, but everything that was on my laptop, together with my paperwork, had literally gone up in smoke. All of our other belongings – my clothes, shoes, Essie's school uniforms, schoolwork, artwork and other mementos that I had collected over the years – literally everything, since I had begun my life in Japan, over five years ago, had now turned to ashes. I was feeling the very definition of overwhelmed, not to mention vulnerable, now that I had no material possessions left to my name.

Sometime later, we arrived at the Kaiba estate, and I helped Essie bathe and get into bed. She was surprisingly emotional, after witnessing the fire, and realising that we had lost everything – along with other people and, quite possibly, their lives. I helped towel her raven hair dry, tucked her into bed, and waited with her a while until she drifted off. I then showered, myself, and changed into a bath robe – being that it was literally all I had to wear, apart from the yukata.

After tossing and turning for a while, from the stressful events of the evening, I concluded that I needed something to help me sleep. I decided to slip downstairs to make a warm drink. I descended the spiral staircase, looking left and right, to make sure I wasn't going to wake anyone, and darted into the kitchen. I fetched some milk from the fridge, found a saucepan, and flicked on the gas burner. A dash of whisky from the liquor cabinet, added to the milk, would have me asleep in no time.

While the milk heated up on the stove, I began to process what my next move was going to be. I was going to have to borrow some clothes from Kaiba somehow – God knows how that was going to play out – and then go to the bank first thing in the morning, to get new cards and some cash. Then I was going to have to buy a couple of new suits, get Essie a new school uniform and some new clothes and shoes, too. Following that, I would have to lodge a claim with my insurance company, and then start looking for a new place to live…

"Helping yourself, I see."

I gasped, startled out of my mental monologue. "Christ, Kaiba, you scared me. What are you doing up?"

"Insomnia."

I shook my head, turned off the stove and poured my milk into a mug. "You want one? It might help."

"What is it?"

"Hot toddy."

He regarded me blankly.

I sighed. "Milk and whisky."

As Kaiba moved into the light, I noticed he had on only a pair of light blue cotton pyjama pants. His skin was as pale as the moonlight that dappled across it through the latticed window. Shadows fell across his face and body in the dips and crevices of his pectoral and abdominal muscles, and the sharp line where his hips and pelvis met the top of his legs. My eyes travelled further to the dark curls that trailed from his navel to the rim of his pants, and further still to the outline of his most male anatomy. If I had been sixteen again, I would likely have been a puddle on the floor right at this very moment, and hated to admit that I wasn't far off it, in any case.

"I'll give it a try." Kaiba hedged doubtfully, leaning against the breakfast bar.

I handed him the mug. "Careful, it's hot."

He took a sip, then set the mug back down on the countertop. "I'm sorry about what happened, tonight."

I was taken aback. Kaiba…apologising?! "Err…do you mean the fire, or…the other thing?" that also shouldn't have happened…

"The fire. Why would I be sorry for kissing you?" he asked, frankly.

"Because…it's inappropriate!" I hissed.

"I fail to see your logic." He furrowed his brows at me. "We're both consenting adults, are we not?"

I frowned. "Technically, you're a minor–"

"And you didn't exactly reject my advances, either time."

"What?! That's hardly fair, you didn't give me a chance t–"

"Allow me to demonstrate,"

Before I knew it, Kaiba had moved around the benchtop, his warm mouth firmly against mine. I morphed back into that pathetic, weak little calf all over again, before I came to my senses and shoved him away.

"Cut it out! This isn't funny. Why do you even…?" I raised my arms, only to let them drop back to my sides, as words failed me. "This is ridiculous, Kaiba."

Kaiba took another sip from my mug. "I like to think that I have the answers for most things in life, Lexus. I have an IQ of 162. I can speak six languages. I seized control of a multi-billion dollar company at the age of 13. But this…" he turned to face me. "This, I can't explain."

"It's called infatuation." I sighed, leaning heavily against the countertop. "And hormones."

Kaiba glared at me. "I know what infatuation is."

"Then you'll know that it never ends well."

"Who says this is infatuation?"

I glared back at him. "Well it can't be anything else, can it?"

There was a Mexican standoff as we stared each other down, for a few excruciating, silent moments. Finally, he closed his eyes and shrugged, nonchalantly.

"Call it what you want." he spat, lip curled odiously. "You're only making it harder on yourself, by resisting."

I rolled my eyes for what felt like the millionth time that night. "Kaiba, my fucking house burned down tonight; I've lost everything. I don't need this, on top of all that!"

"Bad timing, I guess."

I sighed exasperatedly and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I'm going to bed. If we keep going round in circles about this all night, I might end up hurting you."

He chuckled, amused. "Now that, I'd like to see."

xXx

"I can't believe how much totally kawaii stuff I got today, onee-chan!" Essie squealed. "This has been the best birthday, ever!"

"I'm glad you're having a good time, imouto."

At present, we were sitting in a Sailor Moon café in Shibuya, Tokyo, surrounded by all things pastel and sparkly. Given that it was a long weekend – or rather, a series of bank holidays that coincided with each other, known as Golden Week – I had decided to treat my sister to a few nights in Tokyo, after the horror of the fire, and to take our minds off things. Going to Tokyo Disneyland had been a long-time dream for Essie, and it had finally come true, yesterday. Today, we had been shopping up a storm in Harajuku and Shibuya, so we could go and replace all of our necessities that were lost in the fire. Begrudgingly, I had had to ask Kaiba for an advance, as my insurance company would only reimburse me for our expenses, rather than pay me out in cash. Amazingly, Kaiba had written me a cheque for a month's salary, without so much as batting an eyelash.

There was a catch, of course – and that was that Mokuba had insisted on coming to Tokyo with us. Kaiba, obviously, wouldn't allow his pig-headed little brother to be let out of his sight – either that, or he didn't trust me enough, to take care of him. Essie wasn't exactly thrilled about Kaiba coming with us, but since he was being uncharacteristically nice by letting us stay with him, and giving me an advance, she decided to let it slide. Besides, they were actually starting to play nice, which I was both relieved and disconcerted about. Once we got back to Domino and found a new place to live, things would go back to normal and we could get on with our lives, again – or so I hoped.

There was also the delicate issue of my relationship with Kaiba to contend with, that somehow seemed to be spiralling out of control. These feelings that he apparently harboured for me didn't seem like they were going to subside, anytime soon; in fact, they only appeared to be accelerating. What's more, I couldn't deny that even though what we were doing was wrong, it felt so right. And I hated myself for it.

"Oh, look! It's a Luna burger! How cute is that?!" Essie shrieked as she skimmed over the menu. "And look, there's even Usagi and Mamoru pancakes! Oh, onee-chan, how am I going to choose?!"

"Why do I feel like I'm in some kind of parallel universe, right now?" Kaiba asked nobody in particular.

"Why do you even like this stuff, anyway?" Mokuba asked, bemused.

"Because it's cute!" Essie exclaimed. "And fantasy beats reality any day, right?"

"God, I hate cute." Kaiba muttered flatly.

"Don't you like anime, Mokie?" Essie asked, ignoring Kaiba's quip.

"I dunno, it just seems kinda…unrealistic." Mokuba replied, with a certain air of dignity, I thought. "But bro, we could do something like this at Kaiba Land, you know? A themed restaurant? We could call it the Kaiba Café, or something! What do you think?"

"Kinda cheesy, but…it's got a certain ring to it, I guess. I'll get marketing onto it."

Later that night, after we had returned from Tokyo and were back at the Kaiba manor, I was scrolling through the rental advertisements, when a shrill giggle startled me. This was followed by more cackling and then footsteps descending rapidly, down the staircase. Essie then burst in, wearing her new Sailor Moon pyjamas and Hello Kitty slippers, holding some kind of gigantic plush toy.

"Onee-chan, look what I found in Kaiba's room!"

I blanched. "What were you doing in there…?"

"Oh, you know, just poking around!" she thrust the plush at me, which I conceded to be that of a chibi-fied Blue Eyes White Dragon. Admittedly, it was pretty cute.

"Give that back, abazure!" Kaiba hollered from the top of the stairs.

Essie snatched the toy back off me. "Come and get it, pretty-boy!"

"I'll ask you one more time – give it back, and stay out of my room!"

"Or what?" she goaded. "You'll 'white lightning attack' me?"

Kaiba's face was starting to turn purple. "Rrr…that does it!"

Essie squealed and legged it through the kitchen and into the living room, as Kaiba galumphed down the stairs and took off after her. I waited for the sound of broken glass, but was met only with more squealing and ribald profanity, and then what sounded like someone punching a pillow. For the love of God…what had gotten into them? I really hoped it wasn't what I thought it was.

Hesitantly, I followed them into the living room, to ensure that they hadn't committed grievous bodily harm against each other, only to see Kaiba on the floor, straddling my sister, whacking her over the face with a couch cushion. Essie was using the Blue Eyes plushie to defend herself, laughing like a maniac.

"Get off of her, Kaiba!" I yelled, a hot streak of something ugly, passing through me.

He halted mid-whack and snapped his head toward me, looking mildly embarrassed. "Ahem…sorry." He quickly got to his feet.

"Aw come on, sis, we were just having a bit of fun…" Essie lamented, tears of mirth streaming from her eyes.

"Sure you were." I replied, dryly. "Come on; it's late, and you've got school tomorrow. Same goes for you, Kaiba." I smirked.

He glared at me. "You're not my mother."

I cleared my throat, giving him a pointed look. "Evidently."

Essie pulled a face at Kaiba before she departed for her bedroom, letting him have his plushie back. I glanced at it, giving him an enquiring look.

"A gift." He stated, tossing it onto the couch.

I folded my arms. "I don't care about the toy. What was that all about?"

"I don't like people digging around in my personal belongings," Kaiba quipped. "I trust you would feel the same."

"Fine. Just…please don't do that, again. You might give her the wrong idea."

"Oh," Kaiba's eyes lit up menacingly, as the penny dropped. "Jealousy is such an ugly emotion. Wouldn't you agree, Senpai?"

"Don't flatter yourself." I replied, regarding him blankly. "Goodnight, Kaiba."

Kaiba grasped my arm as I turned to go, pulling me back towards him. He backed me against the bookcase, his lips against my neck, and whispered, "My eyes aren't the wandering kind."

"Stop it," I hissed, but it fell on deaf ears.

"You're playing a dangerous game, Senpai," Kaiba replied, and I felt his lips curl up in a smile. "The deeper you fall in, the harder it's going to be to climb out. It would be in your best interests to give in, now."

I was tempted to ask him, if I gave in, whether he would finally let me alone, but held my ground. "And you need to think very carefully about what you want, out of this, Kaiba." I retorted. "The way you're carrying on, you might wake up one day and realise that you don't have me at all. Now who's playing a dangerous game?"

He stepped back, then, releasing his hold on me. "Is that a challenge?"

"There is nothing to stop me from walking out that door, and never coming back." I glowered icily at him. "So, perhaps from now on, you'll be more tactful around me. I did you a favour by moving to Domino to work for you, Kaiba, not the other way around."

His expression soured. "Why don't you, then?"

"Because…despite everything, I happen to enjoy my job." I admitted. "Be fair, Kaiba, and no one gets hurt. Sometimes you have to play by the rules; you can't always have it your way."

"Screw the rules!" Kaiba grimaced. "What's the point in playing the game, if there's no prize to be won, at the end?"

"Rewards only come to those who earn them!" I hissed. "God, you've got so much to learn."

"If I've got so much to learn, then maybe you should be my sensei." he remarked, folding his arms. "What's your best class, Senpai? Physical education, perhaps?"

I couldn't help but chuckle lowly at that one. "My area of expertise is the law, Kaiba, and I intend on abiding by it. I suggest you do the same."

Kaiba finally looked sapped. He scowled at me and turned for the stairs. "Whatever. How does that English saying go, again? 'It ain't over, 'til the fat lady sings'?"

A small, triumphant smile came to my lips, as I watched him stalk off to his bedroom. For some strange reason, I felt like I had just spared a quantitative number of puppies, from certain death.

xXx

"Hey…what's this?"

I turned to see Essie holding a silver trinket, the chain dangling from her fingertips. We were currently unpacking our scant belongings, having found a new home, the week before. The house was a traditional Japanese style home, with a quaint garden and sliding rice-paper doors. It reminded me a lot of the house that I had lived in, when I'd first moved to Japan with my host family.

"I thought I had lost that in the fire," I remarked, surprised to see the locket still perfectly in-tact. "Where did you find it?"

"In one of your coat pockets," Essie replied, handing it to me.

I opened the oval-shaped locket, smiling to see the photos I had put inside, years before. One was of Essie and Cecelia, when they were young. The other was of someone else, whom I held dear, who, too, walked the world of spirits.

"Is that…?" Essie began to ask, peeking over my shoulder.

"Yes." I replied, a little brusquely. "And look – you and Cecelia."

"Do you think about him, much?"

I exhaled quietly, and closed the locket. "I try not to."

Essie squeezed the side of my arm. "I'm sorry I never got to meet him."

"He was a wonderful person." I replied, thinking of his megawatt smile. "You would have liked him, a lot."

"Have you dated anyone, since?"

I shook my head, quietly, and started unpacking again; anything to get out of this conversation. Essie soon got the hint and there was a time of silence as we continued arranging my new bedroom, before she spoke again.

"Sis…what do you think of Kaiba?"

I cleared my throat, caught off guard. "What do you mean?"

"Do you like him?"

"We get along, for the most part."

"I didn't like him at first, but…I think I do, now."

I glanced at her; she was smiling to herself, as if in a little dream, or thinking about something nice, as she helped put away some of my clothes into drawers.

"What kind of 'like'?" I hedged.

She snapped her head up at me. "Like…'more than a friend', like." she giggled. "I think he likes me, too."

What I had read into, while we were staying at Kaiba's manor, apparently had an element of truth to it. My sister had developed feelings for the man that had feelings for me. The one man that had the means and ability to ruin her, if he should so choose. There literally couldn't have been anyone – anyone – worse than Kaiba, for her to fall for.

"Essie…getting involved with Kaiba wouldn't be wise," I warned. "He's more dangerous than he looks." You have no idea…

"Dangerous?" she laughed, obliviously. "But he's been so nice, lately! Plus, he's so good looking, don't you think? You should see it when he takes his school tie, off. Oh my God; I'm getting chills thinking about it."

I tried to ignore the blood pooling in my cheeks. "Kaiba only cares about himself, Essie. You deserve more than that…I don't want you to get hurt."

"Pssh, I can look after myself." She replied defiantly. "There's going to be a school dance, soon. I wonder if he'll ask me…"

I felt lightheaded for a moment. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, Essie, you can't have Kaiba, because Kaiba likes me? Even though he's seven years my junior, and I'm his lawyer? Right.

Essie was quiet for a while, back in her little dream world. I started unpacking again, feeling unsettled, when she asked, "Onee-chan…do you think Cecelia suffered, before she died?"

"I don't think so." I lied. "She slipped away in her sleep. I don't think she would have felt anything."

Cecelia's death had been sheathed in a veil of lies, to protect Essie, if nothing else. The truth behind Cecelia's demise had been kept tightly under wraps from her, by myself and our parents. She had been too young to understand what had happened, at the time. All she knew was that she had passed away from a "sickness". Maybe one day, I would tell her the truth, but for now, it was best that she remained oblivious. As far as Pegasus went – my family had been estranged from him for years, and as far as they knew, he had perished under mysterious circumstances. They hadn't any knowledge of my involvement at Duelist Kingdom, and I intended on keeping it that way.

Essie was delicate creature with a fragile mind, who, despite her brash nature, was one of the most sensitive people, I knew. There was no sense in upsetting the apple cart, further. Cecelia had been similar, like a rose that only had a short time to bloom, before withering away – or, rather, being cut too soon.

"I miss her," Essie spoke, in a small voice. "There have been so many tragedies, in our family. Cecelia, Pegasus, Tetsuya…"

Her face suddenly crumpled, her shoulders shaking as she started to cry. Her weeping soon became long, anguished howls, as she threw herself against the side of the bed, clutching at the duvet in grief. I felt my own throat constrict; thinking about Cecelia was especially hard, for me, given how close in age I had been, to her. The two of us had been very close, growing up, despite being like chalk and cheese, but still I had idolised her. She was the model Barbie Princess that I never was – but longed to be, deep down inside. I was plain, by comparison, and was always more interested in history and academics. Cecelia was beautiful, creative and sparkling, and adored by all – especially our parents. She was the ultimate apple of their eye, their first-born – their everything.

Essie seemed to have won the lottery on both counts, being blessed with both outward beauty and intelligence, despite acting like an airhead, a lot of the time. I harboured typical middle-child syndrome, often feeling overlooked, or like I was living in Cecelia's shadow, but I never resented her for it. In fact, I was glad for it. Being in the spotlight was never something I yearned for, the way she did. While she won awards for her art and sporting achievements, I went on to score highly in other fields, that would eventually land me a scholarship at Yale.

Given that Essie was so much younger than both of us – by seven years, at least – she was often treated like a baby, by Cecelia. She had love and attention lavished on her, and it had been plain to see that Essie adored and idolised Cecelia, the same way I had.

"I miss her, too, imouto." I shuffled over to Essie, on my knees, and wrapped my arms around her quaking body. "We've still got each other, though." I whispered into her raven hair. "I know I'll never be the same big sister that Cecelia was, to you, but I love you just as much as she did. I swear."

Essie sobbed a little while longer, then finally lifted her head from my shoulder, her eyes bloodshot, nose snotty. "Do you think that I loved her more than you?" she queried, voice thick.

I looked down, averting her gaze. "Yes. But I know that was wrong."

"It's not true." Essie replied, wiping her eyes. "You're silly, if you think that."

I cracked a smile. "Then, I guess I was being silly. Come on; let's get the rest of these clothes put away, then we can go and get something to eat."

xXx

"Busy day?"

I glanced up from my computer, momentarily. Seeing it was just Kaiba, I went back to typing. "You could say that."

"Well, it's about to get busier," Kaiba shoved his hands in the pockets of his school trousers. He pulled out his car keys and jingled them at me. "Let's go."

"I'm about to go to Court, Kaiba." I retorted, not in the mood for his antics, today. "I have to get these submissions in, before four o'clock."

"We can detour."

I shook my head irritably. "And just where the hell are we going?"

"For a joy ride. I'll meet you out front, in five minutes."

With that said, he vanished. It was a Friday afternoon, the Hopkins case was escalating, and tensions were rising. I barely had time to think, let alone go on "joy rides" with my sixteen year old boss. However, I needed my job, so I figured I had better comply with his requests, no matter how ridiculous. Muttering some expletives beneath my breath, I printed off my submissions in final, shoved them into my briefcase, and made my way downstairs.

To say I was stunned would be an understatement, when a royal blue Lamborghini Aventador greeted me at the curb. I tried to roll my eyes, but I couldn't even do that – I was completely dumbstruck. This car could not have been more fitting in with Kaiba's style – completely over–the-top, showy, flamboyant, absurd…the list went on. Of course, what else was a teenager with money to burn going to spend his cold, hard cash on? He was barely old enough to drive, but obviously had better things to do with his time, than to care what other people thought – including the police.

The passenger's side window slid down. Kaiba regarded me with cool eyes. "Get in."

The first thing I spotted – weirdly – was a bunch of white flowers, resting on the dashboard.

"You shouldn't have." I smirked.

"Wishful thinking." Kaiba answered flatly. "Hurry up."

Gingerly, I got into the passenger's side, and just about fell into the bucket seat. It was like boarding a spaceship, all black leather with blue and yellow accents. "Where are we going?" I queried, buckling myself in.

"Court."

"And then?"

"You're about to find out."

With a force that jerked me back against the seat, Kaiba put his foot to the floor, and we hightailed it.

xXx

After racing into Court and dropping off my submissions – just a hair before four o'clock – Kaiba wasted no time in flooring it, to whatever destination he had in mind. We cleared the city limits, and I soon realised we were cruising on the main highway to the coast. Fairly soon, a vast blue expanse came into view, sunlight rebounding off of its' calm surface.

"First flowers, and now the beach? How romantic." I commented dryly.

"Don't get your hopes up."

"Are we going to go for a candlelit dinner, afterward?"

"And the rest." Kaiba resounded, though a faint smirk played on his features.

"Hmm," I chuckled. "how cliché."

We began to climb a hillside, which commanded spectacular views over the ocean, the winding road hugging the cliff-side. Kaiba then slowed, shifting down the gears, and pulled into a seemingly random, middle-of-nowhere plot, surrounded by a dense forest of giant pines and ancient redwood trees. It then dawned on me exactly where we had come to. Kaiba rolled slowly into the car park, and set the engine to idle as it cooled down. We sat in silence for a while; I noticed him grinding his jaw.

"This is where it all started." He eventually said.

"…the cemetery?" I queried. "This is usually where it all ends."

"No, you fool." he scowled at me. "With my parents. Come on."

Kaiba swiftly unbuckled his seatbelt, grabbed the roses off the dashboard, and got out of the car. Hesitantly, I followed him. It was a bright day as we walked down the limestone gravel driveway of this resting place of death. We walked down the gentle slope that led to the cliff's edge, and then turned off down a path that lined the first row of gravestones. Gulls squawked overhead; the branches of the tall pines creaking in the wind. Against the brightness of the day, Kaiba cut a seemingly out-of-place figure, in his dark blue school uniform. He halted, as we came to a tomb with two unfamiliar names on them.

"How often do you come here?" I asked.

He knelt down and discarded the dead flowers, replacing them with the fresh white roses. "Probably not often enough."

I looked closer. "Your family name was 'Kamiya'?"

"Was." Kaiba stated, standing up.

"That's not too different from Kaiba."

When my remark was met only by silence, I asked. "What were their first names?"

"My mother's name was Setsuko," Kaiba replied. "Hence me being named Seto. My father was Makoto, hence Mokuba."

"Do you remember much, about them?"

"It's vague," he replied. "I was only four when my mother died. I have clearer memories of my father, but even those are hazy."

He knelt down again and wiped away some dust that had accumulated on a photograph, that was affixed to the tombstone. The photo of the man looked a lot like Kaiba, though his facial features were slightly softer, and his eyes were grey. I inched closer to get a better look, and nearly staggered backward, in surprise.

"Is that your mother? She looks…like Essie." The photograph of the black-haired, blue-eyed woman staring back at me, looked remarkably like an older version of my sister.

"Both you and Estee remind me, of her." Kaiba stated, a little sombrely. "She was a kind woman. She would have turned in her grave if she'd known that Mokuba and I ended up in an orphanage."

A long silence stretched out between us, as we simply stood there, staring at his parents' resting place. My mind took me to a place, a time gone long before, when they were still alive, and might have been a normal, happy family. It wasn't all that difficult to imagine.

"Why did you bring me here, Kaiba?"

He turned to me, looking a little contrite. "Because…I want you to know…who I am."

A gusty breeze picked up, tearing strands from my bun. The smell of salt and the sea filled my senses, as tendrils of cinnamon hair whipped across my face.

"So…who are you?"

He looked back at their gravestones, thoughtfully. "Sometimes, I don't even know." He replied. "I was a happy kid, before all of this happened. A normal kid. After Gozaburo adopted us…it all changed. He was bent on turning me into some kind of…prodigy."

"Which you undoubtedly are." I reminded him.

"Nothing I ever did was good enough for him, Lexus." Kaiba folded his arms, slipping into English. "I would do everything he asked, and more – and still he would beat me. He turned me into a rebellious, hateful person. I have…so much hate in my heart, because of him. That's what kills me the most; I know if Gozaburo hadn't adopted us, I wouldn't have turned out this way…"

I exhaled quietly. "We all have our crosses to bear, Kaiba. But only you have the power to change who you are."

Kaiba walked near to the cliff edge, that was fringed with hundred-year-old pines. He stood there for a time, leaning against a tree, staring at the ocean. "The person I was before, is long gone." He spoke. "But the person I've become…is not who I really am.

"I am the product of Gozaburo's abuse; I am what I had to become, to protect myself. I had no choice. What people see of me on the outside…the duelling, the tournaments, my company, the countless hours spent in the laboratory…it's all just a pretense. Sure, it's become my life, now – but all it serves as, is a distraction.

"I'm afraid that I don't know how to feel anymore, Lexus. Any kind of affection or loving emotion was beaten out of me, years ago."

"I don't think that's true, Kaiba," I replied, edging nearer to him, leaning against an adjacent tree. "You love Mokuba."

"He deserves more than he gets, from me, though," Kaiba admonished, walking toward me. His blue-lake eyes looked melancholic, as they connected with my own. "Teach me now to feel again, Senpai." He whispered, finding my waist with his hands.

I gazed up at him. Though I didn't know for sure, I had guessed that Gozaburo had not exactly been a role-model stepfather, to the Kaiba brothers. These 'moments' that we had been having…was perhaps the side of him that had been suppressed for so long, dying to get out, suffocating in the cesspool of anger that was boiling inside of him.

Fearing I knew what was coming, I braced myself as Kaiba leaned down, placing a hand at the crook of my neck to support my head. I tipped my head back, as his mouth touched down on mine, and our lips once again engaged in the ritual that was, rather distressingly, becoming more and more familiar.

I leaned back against the tree, my hair becoming entangled against the rough bark, as Kaiba's tongue melded pleasantly against mine. But this time, I felt something there I hadn't felt, before. He was holding back – trembling, breathing sharp and jagged, the way one might sound as if they were trying hard, not to cry. I opened my eyes and pulled back. His face was full of such anguish, such despair, that it made my own heart twist in pain, for him. Tears were standing in his eyes, yet he couldn't look at me.

"You don't need me to teach you how to feel," I uttered, placing a hand on his cheek. "you already are."

He finally met my eyes. "I know only how to feel anger, hatred, greed, jealousy…"

"When was the last time you felt joy?"

"About thirty seconds ago." He smirked, but it quickly faded. "The only time I feel truly happy, is when I've got you in my arms, Senpai." He looked as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Let's sit down, for a while." I suggested, finding myself now trembling. This was all becoming a bit much.

Together, we sat down on the velveteen grass. Kaiba positioned himself against the tree trunk, and drew me in between his legs, linking his arms around my chest. I couldn't argue that it felt nice to lay back against him, though I did question how wise it was to allow myself to become more intimate with him, in this way. Finding no reason not to, though – out in the middle of nowhere, as we were – I decided to compartmentalise that for the time being; Kaiba had never been so open about his emotions with me before, and I felt as though we were finally getting to the crux of the matter – why 'this' had even started. The fact that he wanted to expand on such a topic, of his own volition, was a good start.

"What are you afraid of, Kaiba?"

"Being weak," he answered.

"Why do you feel like you have to be strong, all the time?"

I felt him take in a deep breath. "Because I've had to be. My whole life…I had to be strong, for Mokuba. At the orphanage, during our years with Gozaburo…if I ever showed any signs of weakness, it wouldn't go without punishment."

"Showing your emotions doesn't make you weak."

"Says the Ice Queen, herself."

"Don't you start." I quipped, having been branded the 'Ice Queen' by the media once again, this time due to my scathing showdown in court, the week before.

"I know you're not, underneath it all. But you do have impossibly high walls, to break down." He replied, resting his chin on top of my head. "I'll find a way. I always do."

I closed my eyes, listening to the waves crashing on the rocks below, the sea breeze rolling across my eyelids. There's so much you don't know…

"Kaiba…I…"

"You don't need to say anything," he interrupted. "let's just sit here, for a while. I'm enjoying the view."

I swallowed, fleetingly thinking of all the work I still had to do. But, to hell with it. If I was being brutally honest with myself, there was no place I'd rather be, right now. It had been so very many years, since I had allowed myself to surrender to the warmth of another human being. Despite the constant game of tug-o-war that raged within me, the dysfunctionality of the whole situation, sometimes the best thing one could do was give in, even if it was short-lived.

I leaned back, allowing myself to relax, feeling Kaiba's heartbeat thumping slowly against my back. I nestled myself into the crook of his shoulder, closing my eyes again. He smelt mildly of cedarwood, together with fresh, aquatic notes, and a hint of citrus. It delighted my senses, making my heart kick up a rung, doing things inside me that I thought were long-dead.

"This isn't infatuation." he whispered, after a time.

I opened my eyes. "I know."

We were quiet again. His eyes were such a startling colour, on this particular day, reflecting off the ocean out beyond. I cursed myself for getting so caught up in his beauty. He noticed me looking, and looked right back at me, like he could see into the very essence of my naked soul. I took a deep drink from his lips, trying very hard not to moan. He hardly needed encouragement.

"We need to finish this, Kaiba."

"I won't let you."

There was no point arguing with him. Not right now. Fact of the matter was, I had no idea how I was going to put an end to it, anyway. The fact that Essie had now declared her feelings for him only complicated things further, and I feared he might try to use that to his advantage, somehow. I couldn't let him get to her. The only way I was going to be able to quash my feelings – or from letting this predicament escalate into anything further – was to alienate myself from him, completely. That would be all but impossible, given that I worked with, and for, him. As he had said, he would find a way to crack the walls, anyway, so I was trapped.

"We should get back." I murmured, lazily.

"For what reason?" he sounded irked.

"You've got a tournament to plan." I reminded him.

"Oh, right…that."

We stood up, brushed ourselves down, and made our way back to the car. I didn't think it was possible to feel relaxed, yet agitated, at the same time, but I guessed there was a first time for everything. The ride back to the city was subdued; I figured Kaiba was lost in his own musings, looking serious with one hand on the wheel, the other near his mouth. I wondered how long I could keep this up. Lying to Essie, supressing my emotions, that were getting stronger every day. Denying myself the luxury of feeling. It was all going to come to a head, at some point.

The lights of the city were just starting to flicker on, as we cruised back to town. Domino certainly turned it on, looking as spectacular as Tokyo, lit up at night.

"Are you coming back to the office, tonight?"

"No." I shook my head. Essie had insisted on having a 'pamper night' at home, tonight, whatever that consisted of. I figured I had better humour her, given all the late nights I had been working, lately. "I'll probably be in, in the morning, though."

Kaiba wordlessly changed direction, taking an offshoot road, heading in the general direction of my new home. Now that I lived in the outer suburbs, getting to work wasn't as convenient, but it was a nice change to be living on a quiet, leafy street, rather than a bustling city block.

"You can drop me here." I said, as we reached the corner of my street.

"Why?"

"I don't want Essie asking any questions."

Kaiba looked up the street, where my house was only just in view. "Very well." He pulled over, a little more drastically than I thought was necessary, and set the car to idle.

He turned in his seat to face me. "I'm going to need your help in the lab, tomorrow."

I dropped him an incredulous look. "The lab?"

"It will be worth your while." He grinned at me.

"Nobita is riding me hard with this Hopkins case at the moment, Kaiba."

"Hn…" he sat back, folding his arms smugly. "That might not be the only thing riding you, fairly soon."

I rolled my eyes. "I guess I walked right into that one."

He chuckled, but it was good-natured, which was new. I couldn't recall a moment where I had heard him laugh due to something having tickled him, before. There was a short period of silence, and I was about to bid him farewell, but he caught my hand. His eyes had turned serious, again.

"Lexus…thank you for going out there with me, today. I feel…lighter."

I smiled, still wondering why he had allowed me to see behind the mask. "You're welcome."

He turned my pale hand over in his, and kissed my palm, causing my hand to spasm in pleasure. "Goodnight, Senpai."

I swallowed, wishing there was more I could do, more I could say, but knowing it was futile. "Goodnight…Kaiba."

I stepped out of the car, into the temperate spring evening. I felt suddenly coquettish for some reason, the way a schoolgirl might, after being dropped off after school by her much older boyfriend, that her parents didn't know about – only in this situation, it couldn't have been more backward.

Spots of rain started to fall on the pavement; a sun-shower was passing through, casting rainbow prisms in the distance. The light danced and refracted, playing with my optics, and it made me vaguely wonder if my whole life was merely an optical illusion, too. Kaiba regarded me one final time, before roaring off down the street, leaving a cloud of cherry blossoms, in his wake.

xXx

Phantom: Hello readers ^-^ sorry it's been such a long time since I've updated this fic. I haven't forgotten about it, I swear! I had just been a little distracted with writing another fic. I think I've finally figured out how to get this one down into words – it was a bit all over the place before, but it's finally coming together. So hang in there – things are about to get fiery for Lex and our favourite sexy antagonist! See you next time! ^-~