Planet of Guys
Disclaimer applied
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"Who did it?" Sakura shrieked. The smell was killing her lungs and her other senses. She sprayed febreze before they launch, it smelled a lot better than the stink she smelled. The febreze made the ship smelled likeapple and cinnamon, now it was dog's shit.
The guys back there were awake now because of the shriek and they were confused as hell. After some moments later, they smelled it.
"What the hell is that?" Madara yelled in a nasal voice. He covered his nose, the smell was terribly disgusting.
"Didn't I tell you to NOT stink up the damn place?" Sakura bellowed over them as she pressed a button on the touch screen. "Computer." She grabbed a steel bat.
"Yes, Sakura-san?"
She unbuckled her seatbelt and took off her head gear. "Take over for me." Sakura stand up and started walking to the bathroom. There are two rows, the seats in each rows was two by two, and there is a gap between the rows, so they have a way.
"I hate this mission." She moaned.
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Sakura begins her way to the bathroom, it seems a short way but to Sakura it was gonna be a long way down because of the men in here and the worst of all was they were all perverts.
She was walking to the bathroom as she stared at the guys, one by one. So, if someone looked at her in a sexual way, she's going to punch him back to Jupiter. Sakura was at the front row, she was staring at Pein who has his eyes closed while he crossed his arms. Sakura did a goofy face at Pein, she had no idea he was still awake. She stuck her tongue out and pinched her cheeks.
"Stop staring at me." Pein opened his right eye and glared at her with it. She was staring at him with those eyes. Those taunting eyes, it haunts him every night and he likes it. Sakura was staring only him, him! He would give any part of his body for her to look at him.
Sakura blushed. "Sorry, I thought you were asleep."
"...Just don't make any noise." So, I could hear only your beautiful voice.
She nodded, happily. "Ay, ay, King." Sakura saluted, playfully. She grinned when Pein smiled at that and that disappear when he returns to his peaceful slumber.
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"Sakura, why are you carrying a bat?" She turned back, surprised. Haku and Zabuza was the least perverted guys here, or so she thought. They were looking at her as if she was a piece of meat but they hid it very well.
Haku smiled like an angel he is; little did she know that he was holding his urges to ravish her on the floor, while Zabuza stared at her, stared. He was like looking her through her soul, but he was just ogling her D-cups.
"Just in case." She answered quickly and she turned back around and continued her journey to the bathroom but she could feel heated stares at behind her, or her Inner says from at her ass.
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Kiba, Kankuro and Suigetsu wolf whistled as she walks to the bathroom. They were telling her some ridiculous pick-up lines.
Kankuro grins. "Don't worry! Your other half is here!"
Gaara rolled his eyes but he kept his eyes on the pink-beauty.
"I have never had a dream come true until the day I met you." Kiba flirted shamelessly.
Shino stayed silent, playing his bugs. His eyes averted his eyes on her.
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together." Suigetsu winked at her.
Tobi laughed, childishly. "Even, Tobi knows that those pick-up lines are hopeless. Pretty Sakura-chan, I would be a good boy if you kiss me!"
She giggled like a little school girl, Sakura passed by them. "…Imbeciles." She muttered and sighed. She was still at the first row area.
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The two artists were arguing, again, about some of their views about art. Sakura prayed that she keep on bickering but alas, it's too good to be true. The two of them kept on bickering but as she walk pass by they noticed her.
"Hey, Sakura-chan, yeah!" The blonde grinned.
"..Hm, Sakura." Sasori waved, nonchalantly. His hazel eyes bored into her viridian eyes in amusement.
The pinkette looked at them, suspiciously. They just bickered like an old married couple and all of a sudden they just turned into little angels. Men.
Suddenly Deidara snatched her metal bat which she was holding. Deidara scanned it for a while, his eyes averted at the top to the bottom.
"Why are you carrying a bat, yeah?" Deidara questioned.
"To hit the guy in the bathroom to a bloody pulp." A vein popped out on her forehead. She really hates that disgusting smell coming from the bathroom.
Sasori chuckled a bit and he snatched the bat from Deidara as he identifies it, he averted his cold hazel eyes to her warm viridian eyes. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, such violence from a beautiful doll like you."
Sakura's cheeks were red. "I am not beautiful, I'm just average." She scoffed.
"Don't be modest, you are beautiful, yeah!" Deidara grinned. He placed a peck on her right cheek. Her skin was soft, warm and delicate, he loves it. The terrorist loves whekn she blushes, it was just adorable. He knows that Sasori was envying him; Deidara was rubbing it on him.
"Aaw, look at her, isn't she looks so cute when she blushes, yeah?" He pinched her cheeks.
Sasori smacked his back of his head. He admits he was jealous that his blonde idiot of a partner placed his disgusting lips on his doll. "Don't touch my doll.." He growled as he grabbed her head on his hard chiseled chest. Sasori nibbling and licking her ear, he looked at the angry Deidara and he smirked at him.
"Oh, God." She rolled her eyes, she snatched her bat back and smacked at the two artists. "I am no property." She huffed and continuing her journey to the bathroom.
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She was almost at the middle area. The two true gentlemen in this ship were Jugo and Kimimaro, they were there sitting on their assigned seats.
"Hello, Ms. Sakura." Jugo greeted.
"Greetings, Sakura-san." Kimimaro welcomed her.
This is what true gentlemen are. Sakura sighed in relief, that they are not those other perverts. Well, she hopes so.
She nodded. "Hello, Jugo-san and Kimimaro-san."
Their eyes bored on her. The two best friends may be are gentlemen but that doesn't stop their hormones on rage, they're men. Hormones are such a bitch.
Kimimaro gripped his sexual needs on tight, when she walked in the room, the way her hair bounce so beautifully, the way her eyes only looked at him and the way she said those words with her succulent lips were so…tempting.
"Kimimaro-kun…I love you."
If he's dream last night was making him blushing, madly then the way she said his name was making his insides all..Mushy and his stomach have butterflies flying all around.
Jugo is aware of his best friend's little problem. Jugo views Sakura a fine damn lady, she's very professional when it comes about the mission, she's kind when she wants to, she's calm when it's a serious problem and she's quite a rebel. Her looks are quite adorably deceiving but her actions can hurt like hell. Talk about judging a book by its cover. That's Jugo's ideal woman and so is every one's, Jugo would even accept if she offer him to be her fake-boyfriend or fiancée.
The problem with Jugo is very loyal to Kimimaro and their friendship, well there's a saying, "Bros before hoes." Sakura is not a hoe. He'll keep his feeling of a certain pinkette away from his white-haired best friend, but he knows that he needs to tell him soon.
"See ya." The pinkette's voice rang through their ears.
They exhaled air out; they did not know they were holding their breath. She's such a beauty that can take any man's breaths away.
"Aw, good Lord." Kimimaro groaned as Jugo stared at him with worry in his eyes.
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" Neji-san, help them. Please refrain from yourself hurting Sasuke and you, Naruto."
"THIS TEME TRIED TO MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP!"
"…Dobe, are you brain-dead?"
"Kabuto-san, it's futile to council them both."
Sakura groaned in annoyance. They had to be Naruto and Sasuke, thank Lord, she still have her metal bat just in case they do something wrong or very wrong. "What is going on?"
"SAKURA-CHAN! ITS TEME'S FAULT!" Naruto the roaring orange dinosaur bellowed.
"…You are really brain-dead." Sasuke the cold-ass turd with a 10 meters stick up to his ass muttered.
"Sakura-san, these two bozos are each other's throat, again." Neji the quiet soulless boy grumbled.
"Ms. Sakura, I tried to stop them." Kabuto the oh-so poker-face doctor said.
She had to ask. "Naruto, I'll give you ramen if you stop pestering Uchiha-san." She pointed at Naruto, she points at Sasuke. "Uchiha, don't man-slaughter your…colleague over here."
"What's in it for me?"
"I don't know, since you are very distant to me, you can choose whatever you like." She said.
The Uchiha thought for a moment. "Call me my first name, I am aware of your formalities, I respect that but I just want you to call me without formalities." He grumbled
"Okay…Sasuke." Sakura raised one of her brows as she heard him a little moan from him. "As for you two." She narrowed her eyes to Kabuto and Neji. "Thanks for trying to shut them up." She bowed.
Kabuto held her hand and kneeled. "It's our pleasure, my dear." He kissed her back of her hand.
"Kabuto, if you are not letting me go in 5 seconds, we are going to have a problem." Sakura narrowed her eyes and her voice has a tint of murdering him in his sleep with a spork.
He chuckled. "So cute and yet so intimating." He said and let her go as the others nodded in agreement.
"I am just average." She went back to her journey then she heard faint voices over there area.
"SAKURA-CHAN, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL IN MY EYES!"
"…What the Dobe said but in cooler way."
"…She's cute, right, Neji-san?"
"I say she's very stunning."
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The stench was getting stronger, it's very close. She can feel it!
"So troublesome..Sup, Sakura." The lazy genius yawned.
"Shikamaru, if you keep on yawning, your mouth will be so big that it could fit a basket ball!" Sakura exclaimed.
"That's crazy talk." He chuckled. She's very cute when she's worried about his lack of sleep, she babbled like a mother hen worries about her son but that's not mutual to Shikamaru views her. She's his Queen to his King, she's his dip to his chips, she's his water to his flower and-you get the process.
"Remember to have an efficient sleep, Shikamaru or I'll pound you so hard that you can't say anything. See ya." She glared at him.
"Yeah, yeah." He said. She walked away. "You'll be a perfect wife.." He grumbled as he closes his droopy eyes. "For me..."
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"It's a plane! It's a bird! No, it's pinkie!" Kisame hollered.
"Hn?" Itachi widen his eyes as he turned around to see a certain pink-beauty.
Sakura looked around but as she heard the word 'pinkie' her eyes narrowed at the blue-gilled shark that called her in an insulting manner. "Hello, future shark-fin soup."
Kisame snorted. "God, you are so puny, I mean look at you!" He roared in laughter as for Sakura, she fumed. Then he places a kiss on her forehead, her face explode with tint of red blush on her cheeks.
Itachi stared at them in jealously because of their close relationship. His eyes flared up, his mouth turned into a sneer, clenches his teeth, his brows furrowed and his heart was slightly break one by one. How dare he? How dare that blue-shark flirts with his little flower?
"What are you two doing?" Itachi growled. "This mission is supposedly being professional, not in flirting manner. How very disappointing."
"Woah, Itachi, cool down, bro." Kisame said.
"Kisame, I'll handle this." Sakura stepped up and did a gesture to Kisame to not involve to this. So, he back down.
Itachi sat down on his assigned seat and he grumbles some nonsense darkly. He looked like the saddest and the angriest king in his throne.
Sakura sighed. "Tell me, Itachi. What is wrong?"
"….."
She sighed again, Uchihas are so stubborn. "I'll revise that last sentence. Why are you acting like a priss with a huge painful hangover?" She looked at him and held his hand.
"…..It's unfair."
Sakura was surprised that he answered. "What is unfair?"
"It's unfair because the first rule of Jupiter is not to get too attached with the client but Kisame and the others are breaking the rule. I just follow the rules…."
"Itachi, I think you need to relax, you keep on following the rules like you are a robot. Live a little."
"So you are saying is to break some rules?"
"Rules are meant to be broken."
That sentence made him startled a little. His gaze bored on her beautiful face, how he adored her succulent pink kissable lips, how he wants to bruise those lips. "So, if I do something, it'll be okay, right?"
His gaze on her made her blushed madly. "I-if it's not wrong, its fine, ItachIhmnndf!"
He held her head on his chest and hugged her as he closes his eyes. Her touch was enough..for now. Her cute little head smelled like strawberries, her warmth feels so great when it's against his.
"Itachi Uchiha, let me go, NOW!" She growled on his chiseled chest.
He hummed in disapproval. "You said its okay and this is not wrong…it feels very right."
"Please, let me go."
"For what?"
"What the hell you mean? For what? Maybe, for not murdering you, if you let me go I'll spare your life.." She growled.
Itachi place a light peck on her lips. He longs for that and it felt so blissful. It was a slow peck and that was the most excellent minute of his entire life and he lets her go. "Thanks for that wonderful kiss."
She blushed, madly as she fumed and her ears were coming out of steam. She stomped out the room and then she pushed Kisame when he walked in.
"What's her problem?"
He chuckled."…Charming.."
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Then there's the final area.
"Love, why are you so red?"
"Maybe, she needs to work on her sexual needs."
"Hatake, you utterly disgust me but I hope so..for me, my love?"
"Great two perverts in the way!"
He purred. "Love, you are so adorable when you are mad."
"I will yell rape, if you keep on flirting with me."
"Then if you do, the guys will either kill Madara for raping you or they will be happy seeing you naked...not I would complain."
"Hatake, you really disgust me, greatly."
"AUGH! I am going!"
Then she left.
"Great job, Hatake."
"Hey, don't go pointing fingers at me! You are the one who keeps on flirting her, shamelessly!"
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"I smell something so…delicious. I do too."
"Zetsu, that maybe your hunger."
"No, it's not. Yeah, even I smell it, and I'm at least the calm and normal one."
"Zetsu, Kakuzu! Hello!"
"That explains now. Still smells so delicious."
"Where's that albino potty-mouth man-child?"
"In where we don't go anymore, forever amen."
"Then that means? Kakuzu could you give me some details?"
"…The bathroom."
Then something cracked.
"THAT SON OF A BITCH! GET OUTTA HERE, YOU COWARD AND FACE ME LIKE A FUCKING MAN!"
"Yo, what's up, bitch!"
"OH THAT'S IT!" She pounced at him; she did a roundhouse kick with a powerful right hook and rapidly diving punches. Sakura pounded him until his soul was leaving out of his mouth. She hits him rapidly with her cold hard metal bat very hard. "WHY DID YOU STINK UP THE DAMN BATHROOM, YOU MAN-CHILD! WHEN I SPECIFICALLY SAID THAT DO NOT STINK IT UP LIKE SHIT OF SHITOPIA WITH A SIDE OF SHITTY CRAP OF ALL CRAPINESS! CAN'T YOU GET THOSE SIMPLE WORDS THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL?" She roared as she tries to rip his body parts and his skin off then she punched me through the final area to the first area.
Everyone was looking at the albino-man's lifeless body on the floor with a pool of blood on the floor. His mouth was opened as they saw a chibi Hidan soul was leaving out of his mouth.
"WOAH! KYUUBI, GET THE DAMN MOTHERFUCKING BROOM!" Shukaku yelled over as the other guys remember the time that Hidan's soul was leaving its body, kinda like this one. They tried many things to put the damned soul in its rightful owner because the soul was kept on swearing and being annoying twice as much the real Hidan, they were fine Hidan being dead but the soul was too much. The broom was the only thing that worked.
"Yeah, yeah." He grabbed the broom and started to swat the soul into the rightful owner of that menace. "Get back here, you little rascal!" He yelled and it looked like the game of Whack the Mole.
"I know what to do." She and the Kyuubi held it together and used a powerful impact to put the soul in the body. The broom was all wet in saliva because it was in the mouth, they kept on plunging it. Up, down, up, down and-the process is repeated.
Sakura was the one kept on using stronger force than Kyuubi. She kept on muttering. "Die, you man child, I hope you go to hell with your Jashin-sama. Die, die, god-dammit!"
"UGH! Ha..ha..ha….what the fuck happened?"
Thus the wild-goose chase began.
"Sakura, we are almost at the planet Venus. Sakura? Sakura?"
Then screams were heard with a fit of swears and X-rated words, that may be belonged the albino-man or the others when Hidan started to tear her clothes that shows enough skin that all the guys there have nosebleeds, red-faces and pervert thoughts but alas, Sakura started to noticed it and that made everyone pee their pants plus the computer.
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I just want a fun chapter before the great mission begins.