A/N: Here it is. For me, this roller coaster ride is on the fast downhill. The chapters are coming pretty quick and the end is right around the curve. A few who have previewed this said I must include a disclaimer about needing tissues. So, consider yourself forewarned! :)
James was chatting about the play date he was going to attend the next day. He and Jack had been invited over to the Ryan's home. Whenever they got to spend the day with Jenny, she would always do fun arts and crafts projects with them and they would bake cookies before they went home.
"I hope we make the white cookies with 'rackademia' nuts," he exclaimed.
"You mean macadamia nuts," Kate corrected.
"Yeah, rackademia nuts."
Kate rolled her eyes and glancing towards Alexis, she laughed, "Those are the ones, baby."
Laughing, they stepped off the elevator. Walking hand-in-hand, James was swinging Kate's arm while Jack wrapped his arms around her arm. He held her arm close to his face. Kate looked down at Jack and smiled. He never looked back up at her, but what he was feeling Kate had experienced herself. He basked in the presence of his mother. The closeness of her skin, the smell of her body, the touch that only belonged to her had healing qualities.
He was just like her and got quiet when he was processing information. In his own time, he would come to her and ask for clarification. He was never one to be prompted.
Suddenly, James stopped swinging his Mom's arm and became motionless. When the trio stopped, Kate said to James, "What's wrong?"
James just stared ahead with wide eyes. Confusion covered his face. Slowly lifting his free hand, he pointed and whispered, "Who is that, Mommy?"
Kate's eyes followed his hand, ran them down the hall and trailed up the long legs of a woman. As she neared the woman's waist, it immediately jarred her memory. Her eyes finally rested on the brown eyes of an old friend.
Captain Victoria Gates was pacing the length of the corridor. She had her arms wrapped tightly across her chest. She wore a dark blue pantsuit with a crisp white shirt. Her jacket was unbuttoned. Her hair was pulled into a tight bun allowing the features of her face to stand out, which fired up Kate's Spidey-senses. The look of worry on Captain Gates face was unmistakable.
As she was walking towards the elevator for the most unnumbered time, she heard Kate, Alexis and the kids as they stepped off the elevator. She halted and offered them a warm smile.
Her face wrinkled in new ways. Gone were the days of youthful skin. After so many years on the force, the days had not given her their best. The dark chocolate brown eyes she bore used to be brighter and danced when she smiled. But today, that dance had long gone. Compassion and worry emanated from her eyes… and something else Kate couldn't put her finger on. There was something different there, and Kate picked up on it immediately, even though she couldn't quite decipher just what it was.
"Captain Gates. How nice to see you here." Kate spoke in order to avoid scaring the boys. But fear was welled up in her heart, and she was not doing a very good job of hiding it. It must have shot out and radiated down her right arm. Jackson's grasp on his mother's arm grew tighter. He met her with resistance as she walked closer to their front door.
Slowly, Kate released her arm from her son's death grip. She gave his head a soft pat with unspoken confidence and reassurance. Extending her hand, she shook Gates' hand. The electricity between the two women was palpable, mixed with fear and heartache.
"Hello Beck – Kate. It's good to see you," Gates began softly. Turning her attention to the children, she stated, "You boys have gotten big. How old are you now?"
Excitedly, James piped up, "I'm almost four," waving three fingers in the air.
Jackson gave Gates a look that was a mix between hatred and concern. In Jack's eyes, she asked for information he did not feel she was privy to gain. Wrapping her arm around Jackson's shoulders, Kate said, "Jack just had a birthday, and he's now six."
"That uses both hands," James said gleefully as his chubby hands fluttered in the air. This time he was indeed showing her the right amount of fingers.
Gates smiled at the boys. Her half-hearted smile revealed that she was not there for a friendly visit. Pain and agony echoed on her face and were accompanied by the sadness in her eyes.
Alexis stepped around the trio and retrieved a set of keys from her pocket. She clutched the baby a little tighter to her chest as she opened the loft front door.
"Captain Gates, why don't you come in? Come on, boys," Alexis nudged.
James skipped in the door and went into the kitchen. Jack went in without much trepidation, but was right behind his brother. Jack could pick up on the uneasiness Captain Gates brought with her. He wanted to protect his mother from the woman he had only seen a few times in his life.
Alexis placed the baby in a bassinet in the living room and then went into the kitchen to get the boys a snack. The plan was to let them eat, take a bath and then put them to bed. But Alexis knew something was about to change. She had no idea what bombshell Gates was about to drop, but she knew Gates would not have come by herself if this were not a pressing matter.
Officers stood in and out of the house. On the far right of the house, an officer sat on the ground with his knees pulled to his chest. His head was between his knees. A paramedic was handing him a towel with a bottle of water. Lanie's coffee brown eyes immediately looked at him intently as the paramedic said to the officer, "First crime scene?"
"What?" the officer lifted and shook his head in confusion. "No, I've been to a few, but none this bad. I have never seen so much blood." Taking the rag and bottle, he opened the water, gulped about half of it before jumping up to turn around and vomit.
Lanie got a look of disgust on her face and froze at the implications.
"Javier, what does he mean 'so much blood'? Is Castle hurt?" Fear overwhelmed her and caused her hands to shake. Lanie spent over fifteen years in law enforcement. She rode off into the dark of the night to gruesome crime scenes. But she had never arrived at one where her best friend's husband was the victim.
"No, no Lanie. He is fine. But whoever was holding him suffered big time."
Javi reached over and gave Lanie a hug. He wrapped his strong arms around her small frame and pulled her tight to his body. Her brown eyes were soft and red. Even though she tried to hide the puffiness of her eyes with makeup, it did little to camouflage she had been crying.
"What do you mean, suffered?" she questioned.
"We're not completely sure," explained Javier as he and Lanie walked up the stairs to the house. "We tried to ask Castle questions, but he had already passed out. One of the paramedics said it might have been from shock, dehydration or fatigue. Personally, I think it was all three. They would know more once they got him to the hospital. Ryan rode with him so he could debrief Captain Gates."
"Well, I only get called for a dead body, so why am I here, Javi" stated Lanie.
"No offense, chica. But why are you here? This area isn't even in our district," Esposito questioned. He was so used to her being at their crime scenes, but this was completely out of their jurisdiction.
"Oh, Davidson is the ME that handles this area, but there is a big house fire about three miles from here. He and all of his staff are working there. Trust me, I had no idea when they asked for someone to come here that it would be a crime scene where anyone by the name of Castle was involved."
Lowering her voice, she looked Javier in the eyes and said, "So, tell me. How bad is it?"
Javier glanced around before his eyes settled on hers. He whispered, "It's bad, Lanie. I honestly don't know how Castle pulled this off. He's always been such a kind guy, it's hard to believe he did what he did."
Kate hesitated as she stepped out of Gate's patrol car. Using the gumball, the flashing red light on the cruiser, they cruised through traffic with ease. Kate had a hard time discerning which was racing faster, her heart or the car.
Gates parked the patrol car to the right of the ambulance bay. An ambulance was already parked in a spot. But Kate knew there were other ambulances in the city. There was little chance that she and Gates had arrived before Castle. Closing the door gently, Kate leaned back against the car. Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes. The smells of the city infiltrated her nose. Back at the loft, when Gates had told her that the boys had found Castle and he was alive, her heart had jumped into her throat and taken permanent residency there. She felt the room spinning around her and took all her strength and Gates' quick reflexes to keep Kate from hitting the floor. Ever since then, as hard as she could, she tried to slow her heart and control her breathing.
Gates came to her side. Gently placing her hand on top of Kate's, she smiled and she whispered, "It's going to be Okay. I talked to Esposito and he said that Castle is alive. He isn't injured." Tugging her gently, Gates says, "Let's go inside and wait." Walking in a zombie-like state, Kate crossed the parking spaces.
Once they entered the emergency room, Captain Gates went to the nurses' station. She quietly spoke to a young nurse behind the counter. Kate heard her say they were awaiting the arrival of a patient coming in from a crime scene in Harlem. The nurse whispered that the paramedics had just radioed in that they should be arriving in five minutes.
Gates went to a coffee machine and bought herself and Kate a cup. When she finally found Kate, she was pacing in front of the doors leading into the emergency room.
"Hey, I got you a cup of coffee. It may not be a grande skim latte with two pumps of sugar-free vanilla, but I know what coffee means to you both. I thought it was only fitting," Gates smiled.
Kate's posture changed immediately and a sliver of a smile came across her face. So many years had passed since Castle brought her the last crime scene coffee. Every morning, he would bring her a cup of coffee while she was still in bed, if he could catch her still asleep. Many days, she woke before he did.
"You know, I never said anything about you and Castle dating. Matter of fact, when I first started at the precinct, I thought you two were together. And that was just based on the chatter from fellow officers." Gates walked to a pair of chairs nearby and sat down. Kate's eyes followed her. Patting the chair next to her, Gates motioned for Kate to come sit.
As Kate sat next to her, she took a large gulp of her coffee. She hadn't really had much since she got pregnant with Johanna. After Castle's accident, she rarely had any. Drinking coffee without him just didn't feel right. Her heart was broken and whenever she made coffee, the smell made her stomach turn.
Gates leaned close to Kate and acknowledged, "Being a detective, not much gets by you. I didn't exactly make Captain based on my pretty looks." She slightly chuckled before continuing. "I did notice though, everyday he brought you a cup of coffee. He never failed. Even when I knew you two weren't dating and in those few times when one of you was mad at the other, coffee was still omnipresent with you two. Just as sure as the sun would rise, Castle came in with a cup of coffee in each hand. It became his thing."
Kate smiled as she wiped a tear from her eye. Gates put an arm around Kate's shoulder. She said soothingly, "I'm sorry, honey, I didn't mean to make you cry. But I do find it endearing that coffee became such a strong symbol of love between you two. It's sweet." Gates had always been so rough around the edges. The more she learned about her detectives, the more she lost her jaggedness. Over time, she grew to love each and every one of them. She would probably never admit it publicly, but Kate held a very special place in Captain Gates' heart. She had indeed earned her trust and her loyalty.
The sound of sirens could be heard. A doctor came running from the ambulance bay. As he saw her, he questioned, "Are you Katherine Castle?" Not able to control her anxiety, she jumped to her feet as she exclaimed, "Yes!"
"Your husband is here, ma'am. But hospital policy dictates I have to ask you to stay here while we assess his condition."
"Like hell you will," demanded Gates.
Kate was no longer in control of her own actions. She handed Gates her coffee and ran towards the doors. The ambulance was pulling in slowly. Wasting no time, Kate ran to the end of the walkway. As the back doors abruptly swung open, a paramedic hopped out. A nurse had come up behind Beckett, and the paramedic was giving her Castle's stats.
Kate pushed passed him and made her way to the ambulance doors. Ryan appeared and stood between her and the gurney.
"Ryan, move!" Kate commanded.
"Kate, stop. Let me talk to you first." He was trying his best to block her from the ambulance.
"Are you crazy? How can you ask me that at this moment? No, I am going in there. NOW."
"Kate. Kate!" he grabbed her arm as she tried to pass him and swung her around. "You need a minute. It's not as bad as it looks. He is bad, though. Are you sure you don't want to wait until they get him cleaned up and assessed?" he asked with a mix of concern and pity in his eyes and voice.
"If it was Jenny, what would you want to wait?"
With that, Kate jumped into the back of the ambulance. She took a seat on the bench across from the gurney. As she watched Castle's legs, "Baby steps, Kate. Baby steps," she kept whispering to herself.
Her eyes trailed up his legs. He was covered in dried blood, but she couldn't see wounds or any rips in his pants. Sighing in relief, she let her eyes slide further up his body. She wanted to devour all of him with her eyes. His hands were resting on each side of his abdomen. They too, were encrusted with dried blood. Kate picked up his left hand, examined it quickly and placed it against her chest. She gave his hand a quick squeeze and got nothing in return. But she didn't care. The initial panic was gone now. All she cared about was he was alive, he was breathing and they would make it through this. Always.
Placing his hand back by his side, she finally allowed herself to look at his face. One glance and tears poured from her eyes. Just now, she noticed his eyes were sunken. His skin was pale and ashen. Running her hands through his hair, she leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Oh God, Castle. You're really here." She rested her head against his temple as she cried. Her tears began to wash away some of the blood from his face.
"Open your eyes, baby. I'm here; you're safe, now" she whispered. Lifting her head, she kissed his temple as she gently stroked his cheek. Wiping more blood away, she kissed his cheek then whispered to him again, "Open your eyes. For me. Please?"
Following just above his jaw line, she covered his face with soft kisses from his ear to his lips. Running her thumb across his lips, she leaned over and tenderly kissed him. Their noses were touching as she released his lips. Quietly and smoothly, she caressed her nose against his.
"Castle, please," she pleaded, "open your eyes." Reaching down, she took his hand into hers. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve before she got closer to his ear again, "Rick, I love you."
Softly, she heard him whisper with a cracked voice, the one word that meant everything to them, "Always."
A/N: Again, thank you so much for the reviews, favorites and follows. I just need to remind myself to silence my phone at night when they're coming in. But don't let that stop ya ;)