Chapter 11: An Ultimatum

The moment I walked away, I received notice that I would be banished from patrolling the rest of the day. I was imprisoned in my room, my door locked, and left to ponder the decision I had made.

I knew my end was coming. The following morning, guards came to my room. I had been summoned by Polar Knight.

"Ah, Shovel Knight. Please, take a seat"

These were the first words that Polar Knight spoke to me as I stepped into the room with trepidation. Polar Knight, sat behind his desk in his stony office, stared at me from across the room with an icy glare. As I took a seat by the side of the room near his desk, he turned his head to the open window, staring out of it. Sitting down, I watched as his face pulsed calmly with each breath. Occasionally, he would open his mouth to speak, but no words came out. I remained completely still. I dreaded his words, yet a small sense of rebellion from the day before still lingered in me.

Screw the system, my mind told me. Stay utterly still, my body responded.

"…Normally, you wouldn't even be sat here right now" Polar Knight said finally, reclining in his chair, his face unmoving but for his mouth. His tone was deep and pondering. "When a knight disobeys an order from his superior…and walks out of a training session before being formally dismissed, it is usually punishable by instant excommunication from the Order of the Shovel. Do you…understand this?" he asked, his eyes suddenly shooting towards me through his still frame.

"Yes sir" I responded quickly. The little rebel in me still wanted to convey some sort of non-conformism, perhaps as a way of trying to communicate my own pains and troubles. But my body, my adrenaline pumping through it, guided my every response. Polar Knight continued to look at me, his stare piercing through my armour.

"And when one member is excommunicated from the Order of the Shovel…do you know what happens to them?" he asked me.

"Yes sir…" I said, quieter this time. Two words came to my head.

The De-Shoveling. The Order of the Shovel's excommunication practice, in which a disgraced ex-member is forced to hand their shovel in before doing a walk of shame, where every member of the Order strikes the castaway across the back with their weapon. I have participated in this before; it is a brutal, yet necessary practice. The feeling of steel striking against one's unarmored back was unimaginably painful to watch. It was even harder to execute, and only a strong desire to see one's duty fulfilled guided my shovel to the exposed back of the disgraced. Many did not finish the walk and prematurely ended in a crumpled heap on the floor.

They were given no aid to stand up again.

"…There is a reason why the De-Shoveling is a brutal process" Polar Knight continued, his gaze drifting back towards the window. "It makes an example to be followed. When one joins the Order of the Shovel, one takes an oath in which they will eternally serve the land, the province and districts that one such knight would happen to be posted in during his or her time in the order. To protect and to serve, and to that extent, do everything in their power to make sure they are ready to protect and serve in optimal condition. At all times"

He looked at me again. I couldn't speak the words to defend myself.

"…I don't believe what you did yesterday is what I would call an effort to serve the realm, would you?" he asked me.

"No sir" I replied meekly. A small part of me decided to wonder at this point: why had I not been told I was to be excommunicated? Was Polar Knight simply making an example of me here and now, in his office? The little rebel in me started to rejoice.

"…I don't have to remind you, but I feel it is my duty to make very clear what went wrong here" Polar Knight spoke, articulating each word very carefully, intended for my complete and thorough understanding. "I ordered you to face Shield Knight at the training session yesterday in a practice duel. You refused. You dropped your shovel and walked away, and by doing so, not only did you ignore my strict orders but you also set a horrible, unforgivable example to you comrades and to your shielded counterparts"

Polar Knight then stood up and leaned across the desk, his stare sinking further into my heart. I had never felt so intimidated by anybody before, but knowing what was going to happen to me, I felt death, denial and disgrace creeping on me like a curse. I felt the end coming. The shovels were already striking against my back, a dull, growing pain emerging from where I imagined them landing. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and tired not to meet Polar Knight's glare.

"You made a fool of yourself and of the Order of the Shovel" he spoke to me, a poisonous passion creeping into his voice. "The Order of the Shield believe us to be quitters because of your actions. Does this make you proud of what you've done?"

"…No, sir" I cracked. My throat seized up with fear, a croak was all I could manage.

There was a short silence. After a minute, I slowly looked up to see that Polar Knight had turned back to his window.

"…As I said in the beginning, I would normally be telling you that your excommunication is imminent" he explained. "But that is not going to happen to you, Shovel Knight" He turned to me as his words slowly registered. "I want to know why. Why did you refuse to duel Shield Knight? What could possibly be happening between the two of you that would cause you to act so irrationally? You have been the longest serving member of the Order of the Shield in Pridemoor Keep, you are the man who sets the bar and the image for our troop here. Why, of all times and places, why did what happened yesterday…happen?"

I thought of Shield Knight. I thought of what seemed to be a deep seated emotion in my heart that had started to grow bigger, I could not put a name to that emotion, but it was the sole problem to the irrational behaviour I had exhibited. Whenever I saw Black Knight, camaraderie was replaced by jealousy. Whenever I saw Shield Knight, I felt fear, excitement; I felt my mind flurry and a million thoughts go racing through it. I could not name this complex and pesky emotion, this feeling that had caused me to land in such a terrible situation.

But it's what I felt. Facing her that day, the thought of losing again to her was far more crushing than a shovel to my back. I did not fear losing to her. I didn't really fear what other people thought of me.

It was her who I was scared of most. Losing to her, and as a result, what she would think of me. The rest could go to hell.

But my mind, once again, could not speak the words. In such a state of fear and anxiety, my mind and body became halved, severed, unable to cooperate. Instead, my croaking voice and my adrenaline gave its safest answer.

"…I don't know, sir" I wheezed, my breath suddenly catching. I heard a slow, audible sigh come from Polar Knight's lips; I knew it wasn't what he had wanted to hear. But I had nothing else. I started to realise what I had done yesterday caused me to lose so much more than my dignity.

"Be that as it may, then" Polar Knight continued, sitting back down in his chair, looking back out to the window. "Perhaps one day you will have the courage to tell me why. But today, it seems, isn't that day. Now…"

He darted his glare back at me, folding his arms.

"What happened cannot go unpunished" he explained to me. "The first thing I must do is banish you from any patrol work for three weeks. You will be allowed from your room and free to use the underground training facility as and when you please. Clear?"

"Yes, sir"

"That isn't all, however. In three weeks, I want you to report to training. You will not be participating in the session itself. Shovel Knight…"

He turned his chair towards me and leaned back on his desk. Judging by the laboured breaths he was taking and the heavy, pondering thinking, even Polar Knight was struggling to find the words. My heartbeat remained at a fast pace as I feared his next words.

"…What you did was almost unforgivable. You tarnished the name of the Order of the Shovel, you disrespected your oaths and you have disgraced yourself. In normal circumstances, there would be no redemption for you. However, I will give you one chance to put this dreadful deed behind you and behind the order, so we can all move on and forget it ever happened. Disregard it as a blip"

"…And what will you have me do, sir?" I asked, the adrenalin still speaking for me.

"You will be facing Shield Knight again" he revealed to me. "In three weeks, at the training session, you and Shield Knight will conclude the session with a one-on-one duel. Black Knight will not be fighting before hand. It will simply be you versus her. If you win…then you prove that you are willing to commit once again to your oaths and you will restore some pride and dignity to the Order of the Shovel. In victory, you shall be redeemed and you can begin to re-earn your trust and place amongst us. Is that clear?"

"Yes sir" I said slowly. A single with duel with Shield Knight, as should have happened before, to right the wrongs of the past. It was fitting test. But I had to ask the inevitable. "And what if I lose?"

"Then you are excommunicated with immediate effect"