Chapter 11

Sisters

The relentless blizzard was fierce outside, no matter how strong the glass window of the team's rented suite was, we could still feel its rage from the inside. Across the room, Shepard examined several rifles being handed down to her by the requisitions officer, her figure showing in the dark onyx armor that she wore. I caught her gaze for a few minutes before she pulled away.

The doors to the next room swung open, when I was putting on extra layers on my armor. Liara stepped into the room and approached Shepard.

"Let me come with you," Liara firmly suggested.

"We already have enough biotics with us."

"Another biotic wouldn't hurt," said Wrex from a corner in the room, cocking his shotgun.

"Still a bad idea."

"Why is it a bad idea?" asked Liara.

Shepard placed the sniper rifle she was examining on the table. Her fierce blue eyes stared the young asari down, but Liara wasn't afraid. "I will not put you in a situation where you will be forced to kill your own mother."

"It is my choice." She looked almost as if she would come whether Shepard allows her or not.

"I think you have to let her go Commander," I suggested.

Shepard rolled her eyes. "Very well."

In about an hour, after shooting down some geth in the garage, we were racing to Peak 15 in the Mako. The raging winds knocked against the metal.

"You could still change your mind," Shepard told Liara while keeping her eyes on the almost invisible terrain.

But Liara was determined, her eyes focused on the emptiness ahead.

About 33 hours later, the wind died. Snowflakes fell as if they were small teardrops from the sky. In a distance one could still hear slight cadences of Rachni songs fading as the Mako slowly laboured through the thick snow. The Mako's occupants inside slumped on their chairs, exhausted from fighting rachni and asari commandos, and tired from lack of sleep.

On a long bench, a body was laid with a white cloth over it. We were going to give the Matriarch a proper burial. Liara caressed the stiff blue hand under the covers. Though tired from weeping, her eyes and cheeks were still drenched with tears.

Shepard wordlessly sat beside Liara, her arm draped protectively around Liara. The latter rested her weary head on Shepard's shoulder pads. Shepard met my eyes for a minute, perhaps wondering if I was a bit jealous.

I wasn't.

She started humming, softly. I didn't know the tune but it sounded like a melancholy lullaby. Liara joined in unison, clinging to her like a little child.

Sometimes, we are always children when it comes to our mothers.

After the debrief, I got another migraine probably triggered by that sleepless night we had on Peak 15. Chakwas gave me some painkillers and ordered an early night for me. When I woke up, the clock on my headboard flashed 4:00.

With frequent migraines, waking up early has almost become a habit. I opened the door slightly. There was light outside on the mess. There were voices, hushed voices. One of them belonged to Shepard, and the other one from Liara. I peeked through the slight crack on the door: Shepard and Liara were sitting across each other on one table. My view wasn't that good.

"How did you know that lullaby?" Liara asked.

"You always hum that tune whenever you're in a good mood," Shepard casually replied. "Now I know what it really is."

For a moment, they were silent. Liara looked at Shepard uneasily. "Shepard, that time we joined our minds, I saw something I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry. It was my fault. It was my fault for burying it too deeply. In a way, you reminded me—reminded me that I had to deal with it."

"I had no idea. I had no idea how painful it really is until…"

"I know." She paused. "I can't imagine how hard it must be. I didn't see my parents when they… So to me, I feel that some part of them are still alive."

"I think I would prefer to remember her that way. Before Saren…I really thought that it would be easier than this. But it doesn't matter. At least I know that she loved me. Thank you, Shepard."

"Must have been hard being a Matriarch's daughter. To be always alone…"

"I love being alone."

"But that doesn't mean that you chose it."

"I did choose it, eventually."

"Liara, you know that you're not always alone."

"I know."

"I'm here." She gently took Liara's hand. "I may not be able to feel for you what you said you feel for me, but I know I will always love you as a sister."

"We are two different species."

"I know. But despite that—" She drew her chair back, stood up and raised a hand as if swearing an oath. "I swear: I always pester you about cleaning your desk and the mess you always make whenever you get those "Aha! Prothean!" moments. And I will always hate your future boyfriends and screen your dates."

"I should be the one doing those," Liara protested. "After all, I am 77 years older than you."

"As an asari, you did say that you are a little more than teenager. Whereas I am an adult woman. Therefore, I get the right to boss you around."

"I am still older than you."

"I am prettier that you. Older sisters are always prettier, so I've heard." She smiled.

"I won't worry. In a decade or two, I'll earn that privilege since you humans enter your matron days faster, and therefore get uglier faster. Uh, no offence."

"Not if I get plastic surgery."

They both laughed.

"I am not really looking for a protector. But, thank you. Just promise me one thing, Shepard, if something happens that will make you choose to save me or Lieutenant Alenko, don't hesitate to save him. I know how much you—"

I think I flinched a bit. It is always awkward to be the subject of a conversation that one overhears. I must have done something to make the door magically slide wide open, revealing the surprised looks of the ones outside the door.

Shepard recovered quickly. "You know Lieutenant, spying on your CO merits capital punishment."

"Yes Ma'am." I am an experienced soldier. Running away was not an option, even if I felt like it. Besides, capital punishment didn't turn out to be that bad because I got to do things for her, even though that meant writing Alliance reports in her place.

Liara once told me that without Shepard, our Shepard, her world would stop, even though she knew that Shepard's world would probably keep going without her.

I hope someday, my world will start turning again.