The next day my buzzer rang once more. It had better not be Christian again. But it wasn't, it was Tambo. I let him up and he looked mildly distressed.

"What's wrong?"

"The parents are going mental."

"Why?"

"Apparently they bumped into Christian."

"What? When?"

"This morning. They came back into the house arguing – just the parents, I mean. They were shouting at each other, arguing about him, and then they started arguing about you."

"What were they saying?"

"I don't know really. I went to see what was going on but they tried to fob me off. But I definitely heard both your names mentioned a lot – and I figured out from what they were saying that they'd bumped into him. I just hope they didn't cause a scene. We've had enough of them."

"Do you know what he said to them?"

"No. Look, I really don't know what's been going on. All I know is that they're out for his blood."

Oh god. What had happened? I needed to know. "I need to see them."

"Er, I wouldn't right now. I can't stress enough how fuming they are."

"But I can't just sit here wondering. It looks like everything's just gotten ten times worse and I have no idea why."

"Well, you could ask Christian, I suppose."

"No. I'm not seeing him."

"Well, if you try and find the parents, they'll only knock you back. And you might even worsen their mood. Try later by all means, but..."

"It's like I'm not even involved in all this now – it's just playing out before my eyes."

"Look, I just came round to tell you what had gone on but I need to be at work and I don't want to be late, considering."

"No, I guess not. Thanks Tam."

"See you."

Oh, what a mess! It was almost laughable the amount of things which could go wrong in such a short space of time. I'm glad Tambo came to see me though – it felt nice to have someone who didn't hate me right now. I just wish this hadn't happened – not now.

I didn't know what to do – I felt utterly impotent sitting here out of the loop, not even knowing what was said between Christian and my parents; not knowing what had set me back god knows how much and how long. Tambo was right – I didn't want to infuriate my parents any more, I'd already thwarted myself by going to see my dad yesterday. As much as I really didn't want to see Christian right now, I had to know.

I knocked at his but he wasn't in; working, I supposed. I waited for midday and went to the Vic, checking to see my parents weren't around to notice me and get the wrong end of the stick. He was there on his own, setting things up still. He looked up and upon seeing me looked instantly annoyed.

"What do you want?" he snapped.

"What happened this morning?"

"What happened to not seeing me anymore?"

"Look, I need to know what was said."

"Yeah well sorry, I'm not your local gossip service."

"Christian! You know I'm trying to repair my relationship with them and now this has happened. So are you going to tell me or not?"

"Go fuck yourself."

I turned and left faster than it would've taken to say anything back. I didn't know if I'd ever been angrier with him. What had he said to them? It was driving me crazy. Is this how things were going to be now? People carrying on sniping at each other making the situation worse day by day?

I got back to the flat and raced up the stairs. Downing two glasses of water, I finally settled on the sofa. That wasn't on, how he spoke to me. I know he was angry and he had every right to be, but to say that to me, and with such venom... It was as if he hated me; this man who says he loves me, wants us to be together – and as soon as I decide against us, all that is forgotten. He really is no better than my parents.

I spent the day in Stratford after getting in things for the flat. I went to the independent cinema and deliberately chose an art-house film - neither Christian nor Amira ever let me but I preferred them to blockbusters. And it kind of worked, my mood was lighter.

I then returned to Walford - the place grey never evaded - entered the flat and sighed. I was bored, essentially. Not welcome at work, nor as company for either my family or my... I surfed the web aimlessly and tried to avoid the adult material that came up in the adverts. I was bored enough to use it right now but I wouldn't. It wouldn't make sense to – not that sort of material and the other type didn't work anyway.

Christian's words rang in my ears. The more I tried to stop thinking about it, the more I inevitably did. He'd never said that to me before. He'd sworn of course, he did regularly, but not so directly. The more tired I got - or rather, lethargic – the less I tried to figure it all out. Because I didn't know what had gone on between him and my parents. I now suspected some harsh words were said, perhaps on both sides and that had put him in a bad mood. And I guess he'd expected me to return to him – I did give that impression. In fact, that had been my intention. And he didn't know the conversation I'd had with dad to change all that. I guess it wasn't so harsh considering. I don't know.

It was almost midnight now. I just wanted to see him. It wouldn't be to do anything, I wouldn't necessarily be going back on my promise. I just wanted to... make sure things were OK. I wanted to apologise for letting him down. And then I could obey my father with a clear conscience.

I grabbed my keys and headed out. I really had nothing to lose.