Chapter 11:

"His thoughts are not dangerous," Edward said. "I think he wants to apologize, but he has too much pride and isn't sure how to do it. He also wants to thank Carlisle for saving his father's life and he is afraid of Bella."

"Afraid of me? Why?"

"He knows he messed up, and is afraid of what you will say to him. He knows his father will forgive him, but he isn't sure you will."

"Should I?" I asked.

"We can't tell you that Bella. You have to decide for yourself if you even want to speak to him." Carlisle answered.

"No, I don't think I do." I said relaxing.

"I will tell him your decision, Bella." Said Carlisle. "It would probably be best if I spoke to him." He looked up at the monitor and we could see he was walking our way, no longer as a wolf, but as Jacob, the boy with a broken heart.

"I can see Bella again," said Alice. "And you will not wear that outfit, what was I thinking, it looks terrible on you…" and she took off. I could only guess it was to destroy the aforementioned attire. Alice was in heaven, most of our stuff had been moved to Alaska and she was enjoying the opportunity to buy us all new clothes.

Carlisle walked downstairs and opened the door to wait for Jacob.

"Never boring with you is it?" Edward said trying to be funny.

"I could say the same about you," I teased back and hugged him.

"Edward, have you read all the books in Carlisle's office?"

"Not all, but most. Why do you ask?"

"When I am vampire, and I can read as fast as you and remember it all, I want to read every book in here." I was looking around

"Sounds like fun, maybe you will stop reading Wuthering Heights over and over…"

"Hey, speaking of video cameras, I have an idea. Can I record myself telling me about myself? You know so I have a way to never forget the important things after I change."

"That's a good idea, but… well I was saving this for a surprise…" and he scooped me up and ran to our room. He placed me on the bed and ran to the closet and came out with five thick leather bound books. "I have been writing these at night when you are quiet. It's as many of the stories you, your mother and father have told, including old pictures. I figured I would need at least ten more books so I have those in the basement."

I was awed. "You… you, did this for me?" I could feel the tears starting again. The first page was my birth certificate, followed by baby photos of me with Charlie and Renée. There was stories told from different points of view, things he heard people thinking and things people had spoken to him. "You stupid vampire," I mumbled through tears.

"What you don't like it," he asked concerned.

"No, it's just one more thing I can't give you back, you're too good to me. I don't deserve this kindness."

"Should I remind you that you were willing to sign a death sentence the other day for me?"

"It's not the same," I said and he caught a tear falling from my eye before it hit the page and smudged the ink.

"I haven't started the part where I enter you life, obviously there will be much more detail in that section. And I am not sure how to describe the period when…" and his voice trailed off.

"Put it all in, I want to remember it all, I need to. And you shouldn't worry, I love you too much to be mad at you."

There was a knock on the bedroom door so I knew it was Carlisle or Esme, no one else ever knocked. I looked up to see Carlisle walking in slowly.

"Maybe this is a bad time," he said looking at my tear stained face.

"These are happy tears," I explained. "Edward did something far too kind again."

"Ahh the memory books, that was my idea so I will take the credit." He laughed. "Sorry to interrupt but Jacob is outside and refusing to leave until you speak to him. I told him that you didn't want to but… I also asked everyone else not to bother him. He is sitting under a tree, so if you don't want to see him you should go out the back. If you change your mind, you know where he is."

"Thanks, Dad. As far as I am concerned you should feel free to throw him off your property any time."

"Somehow I had a feeling you would say that," he turned to leave the room. "It's going to rain soon according to Alice so hopefully he will leave on his own accord."

"Edward," I said without looking up. "Don't start with me. You are either going to tell me I should go and speak to him or tell me you want to kill him."

"I thought I was the mind reader," he said showing me that crooked smile I love so much.

"Well if you can read minds than you know what I really want, as in something that Alice interrupted earlier today…"

Edward ran to the bedroom door, closed it, and was back in the bed in less than a second.

Two days passed and Jacob never left the tree. Rosalie complained that the smell was getting to be nauseating and Emmet complained that I wouldn't let him go and kill him.

Esme went and spoke to Jacob a few times, she even brought him food. She was far too nice in my opinion.

As soon as Billy could leave the hospital we were going to leave for Alaska. The Denali coven was calling each day to see when we were coming.

I became an expert at some of the video games we had, even beating Emmet at a few of the fighting games. I told him this was a foreshadowing of what was to come when I was a newborn and much stronger than him, which he thought was funny, but I think it bothered him a little.

I even got in on some of the family betting action, I bet 100 dollars that I would beat Jasper in a race after I was changed. He was so tall I should have been doomed, but I had checked with Alice before I made the bet and she told me that if I raced him through the woods near our house, my height would be to my advantage and I would squeak out a victory. She could have been setting me up, after all Jasper was her husband, but it was worth the bet.

Not surprisingly, it rained non-stop, this was Forks after all. That apparently helped make the "werewolf stink" less offensive, according to Edward.

Billy was set to leave the hospital tomorrow and as soon as Carlisle discharged him we where all heading to Alaska. Since Jacob hadn't left, Edward was going to run me out the back door to a place a mile or so away and Alice was going to pick us up there. Jacob had seen Alice come and go so many times he wouldn't think anything of it. Esme had asked me to speak to Jacob one time but understood my decision not too. She continued to try and comfort him, which proved she was nicer than any person I had ever known.

Carlisle called us the morning to tell us that Billy would be discharged around noon. That meant he would be ready to leave at 1:00 or so, which gave us some time to pack up the last remaining items. Alice decided that she wanted to hit some of the shops in Port Angeles one last time, so she and Edward agreed to meet at the pre-determined spot at 1:30. She dragged Jasper out the door and I almost felt bad for him having to shop with her, but even I loved shopping as long as Edward was there, so I am sure he was putting on a show.

At noon I had a quick lunch and then hopped through a shower. When I got out I was surprised to see Esme sitting on the bed and not Edward.

"Hi Mom," I said cheerfully, even though I knew what was coming.

"Hello sweetheart. How was your shower?" she asked.

"Good, very warm… So I have two questions for you?" I said hoping to throw her off.

"You do, what are they?" Esme was far too smooth to be taken by me.

"Does it matter if I say I don't want to speak to Jacob, or are you going to make me go anyway? And how long do I have to talk to him for?"

Esme smiled. "As long as you like, I can go with you if you want."

"No, that's ok. I am sure Edward will be watching from some window so I don't think I have anything to worry about. And I don't want to disappoint you again…"

"Bella you have never disappointed me. You are an angel as far as I am concerned. If the other kids were as well behaved as you I wouldn't have as many headaches."

"When have you ever had a headache?" I asked seriously.

"It's a figure of speech." She reached out and straightened my shirt for me. "Do you know what you are going to say?"

"I know what I would like to say," I said jokingly. "As to what I will say… no. I will just wing it." I was tying the laces on the only sneakers I had left in Forks. "Any advice."

"Follow your heart Bella, that's usually the best."

"Thanks Mom," I said as she walked out the door. "Ok Edward, you big nosy vampire that I love, I know you heard that and I know you will be watching, so please make sure nothing happens to me. Here goes nothing."

I walked out into the hall and down the stairs. Edward was waiting for me, "You don't have to do this," he said.

"I know, but I should. Where will you watch from?" I asked.

"Rose's room, there's a perfect view, but if you don't want me too…"

"Of course I do, I love you. Now let me go deal with this stupid dog in the front yard."

"I love it when you call him a dog." Edward grinned. He was going to dazzle me and try and trick me not to go.

"Stop it Edward, I want to get this over with." I went up on my tiptoes to kiss him and opened the front door. Jacobs head shot up as soon as he saw me. This was going to be painful.