Izuku was told he'd get the results back in a weak. A week was far too long to keep his anxiety in check. No matter how much effort he attempted to put into sparring or being tutored he couldn't get his mind off of the entrance exam. Yamada seemed distracted and so did Shota. Could it be that he failed them?

His anxiety made him fear the worst, making him think he would be put into an adoption home once he failed the two pro heroes who have adopted him. He knew he passed the written test with flying colors – Shota made sure he knew enough to do that. However, getting a meager nine points was nowhere near enough to get into the school. UA had an incredibly low acceptance rate, after all it was the highest ranked academy.

Gemini knocked him out of his thoughts by opening his door, headbutting it and crawling up to his place on the bed. She jumped on his thigh and immediately started purring. She was demanding attention and Izuku, even as depressed and out of it as he was, made himself reach up and pet the fluffy girl.

"I don't know, Gemini," he started to say. "I know you have faith in me, but I really do not know if I got in."

He sighed, resting his hand on top of the cat's back as he stared at the ceiling. He allowed his thoughts to swirl. He was alone, but only now did he begin to feel lonely again. Yamada and Shota were out of the house, preparing for the new school year and most likely making final judgement calls on who got in. Aside from the animals, Izuku was the only one inside.

Gemini crawled up his chest and started to lick his cheek. He ended up laughing weakly at the actions and rubbing her fur.

"Yeah, I need a bath, don't I?"

He pushed the cat aside gently and watched her curl onto his pillow. The drawer squeaked when he went to grab some comfortable clothing. He threw his grey sweatpants over his shoulder and found a large black tank top. He held the clothes towards the bed.

"What do you think, Gemini? Is this fashionable enough?"

Gemini replied with a lazy blink and laid her head down on the pillow. Izuku returned the blink before turning around.

"You're right as always miss two-faced. I'm just resting. It doesn't matter how fashionable I am."

He walked silently across the hallway, listening to the tiny patter of paws follow him into the bathroom. He waited for her to pass him, jumping on the towels, before he closed the door. He rubbed the cat's soft ears before taking his shirt off, and then his pants. The cat watched lazily.

"This would be embarrassing if you were a human," he said to himself with a quiet laugh, kicking his underwear into the dirty clothing hamper.

He flipped the bath on hot and sat on the edge of the tub, waiting. He felt the steam rise up his back and his muscles relaxed. Gemini rolled over and fell off of the table suddenly. Izuku made a grab for her, catching her, and then petting the cat.

"You're such a mess," he said with a sigh as she started kneading his arm. Gemini was not happy when she was put down and Izuku climbed into the bath. She spent a good thirty seconds leaning over the edge of the tub to understand why he was doing this.

Izuku let the water run as he got comfortable, putting a little soap into the water in order for it to bubble. He always found it amusing, watching them multiply as they were disturbed. He would have to look up the physics behind it later.

He also liked watching Gemini try to play with them like it was a cat toy.

He rubbed his skin red in the burning water, the washcloth leaving little red lines wherever it went. His arms tensed at the lines over a scar and he traced them with his finger He started scratching them anxiously. His entire body itched. He hated having traces of him everywhere.

Suddenly, he was back.

The warm water felt like the fire of his father and the steam smelled of his own burning flesh. He scratched at his flesh wildly, as if he was trying to remove the scars. He felt tainted. He was tainted. He was a plague on this society. He was useless

The scratches dug deeper as his panic increased. He thought of his father peeling the skin from his leg and the watch his muscles twitched. He thought of the sickening metallic smell of blood. His vision darkened and faded at the sides.

The water started turning red. It went from a small pink to a dark, deep crimson red. The smell multiplied in his brain and made him dizzy. He was starving for air but couldn't breathe. He needed to escape, he needed to escape.

He heard a door slam open and a voice call out excitedly.

Izuku's world was spinning too much. The smell was overwhelming. The pain made him violently nauseous. The world stopped spinning and the smell went away. He felt his head tip back and the running of the water fade to white noise. The world went silent.

Yamada knocked on the bathroom, calling for his ward in an attempt to get his attention. He had brought home takeout for dinner since it was going to be the two of them. Aizawa was out on call.

When he didn't get a reply, he started panicking. Was he okay? Did he have a stroke? Did his ward fall asleep or did he try on his life again, as if to escape?

Yamada kicked the door down, dropping the bags and screaming. Gemini ran at the noise. He ran over and pulled the kid out of the water. His arms were littered in long wounds and his thighs were to match. The back of his neck was scratched open wide and his entire body was tinted red with the mess the water left behind.

He checked for a pulse: it was strong and consistent.

He checked for breathing: it was a bit shallow and fast.

He checked for consciousness: Izuku was out of it.

He shook him wildly, his eyes full of panic and his hands trembling with every action. He felt the warm blood pool beneath his fingers and seep out from Izuku's neck slowly.

It took him what felt like hours to wake up. He was groggy and hardly verbal. He didn't seem to know what was happening and his usually bright, busy green eyes were clouded like a hurricane.

"Izuku please tell me what happened," he said, running his fingers through the kid's hair with his trembling hands. He reached for the first aid kid, silently thanking whoever would listen that the wounds were superficial.

"Took bath," Izuku slurred slightly, confused. He yawned. He moved his hand toward his head as if to rub a migraine away. "Something wrong?"

"Look at your hands!"

Izuku did so and immediately straightened up at the sight of his own blood. He pressed the nearest piece of cloth, his towel, to his arm. He started rattling out apologies as tears trickled down his cheeks. He started shaking as he looked over himself. Yamada grabbed another towel and pressed it to the back of his neck.

"This happens sometimes I um," he started, jerking when Yamada tried to touch the back of his neck.

"Don't try to kill yourself please, little listener, you can talk to me?"

Izuku let out a verbal sob, crossing his legs and pulling them to his chest. He was horrifically exposed. He let the fabric drape over his hips and legs self-consciously.

"It wasn't an attempt," Izuku started to say, struggling to talk and breath as his throat spasmed. "I had an anxiety attack, it was PTSD based. I'm sorry."

Izuku sobbed into himself, holding the towel against his arm's worst injury.

Yamada ran his hand through the child's hair and lifted the towel away from his neck. The bleeding had slowed, and he let himself take a small breath. He hated seeing the kid bleed like this, it was even worse when it was due to his unrestrained mental illnesses.

"I'm going to disinfect and bandage this. We'll have to wrap it around the front of your neck too. Let me know if touching starts to trigger you."

Izuku nodded slowly, wincing at the pain of moving. He focused on the hands on the back of his neck in an attempt to ground himself. They were gentle and cold, slender. He felt the care and love behind each movement. He exhaled when it paused and waited. Yamada gently tapped twice on his shoulder and he nodded in response, a silent warning that he was going to continue and a nod of consent.

The gauze was placed against his neck gently and then he placed a bandage around it. Izuku helped put the bandage on. He reminded himself it was Yamada. He reminded himself he was safe. He tied off the bandage in back and pinned it carefully.

"That was the worst one," he said softly, shifting to face Izuku. He placed an extra towel over his lap in an attempt to respect his personal jewels. Izuku gave him his hand and let him continue to bandage him up.

"What triggered this episode?" Yamada asked softly.

"I was stressed and the um, the scars. I also had the bath on too hot, so I think it made me um, think of his fire."

Yamada sighed to himself and squeezed the kid's hand gently. He pinned another bandage before switching to the other wrist and returning to the rehearsed ministrations.

"Are you alright?"

Izuku nodded slowly. "Shaken up and um, scared I guess. I'll be okay."

"Why are you scared?"

"I don't like when you and dad are mad at me," he whispered.

"Oh, little listener no," Yamada said, wrapping his arm around the child. "Please remember Shota and I will never get mad at you for your PTSD. It's okay. We understand."

Izuku nodded and watched as Yamada patched up his calf. He didn't even realize it was damaged as well. He coughed quietly to clear his throat and hopefully lessen the strain on his vocal cords before talking again. His voice came out quiet.

"Do you have nightmares, Pa?"

"Every night," he answered truthfully. His eyes glazed over a little and he flexed his hands a little. He pulled the towel up his thigh to where more scratches. "I have wicked survivors' guilt, kiddo, and I can't help but wonder who I could have saved if only I was just a little bit better."

"But you do so much good!"

"I know, but it doesn't feel like enough. There's a reason most pro heroes have mental health issues, Izuku. PTSD comes with trauma and we picked a difficulty career." Yamada stood up slowly, putting the various items away and handing Izuku a bottle.

"I'll step outside and make some tea, we can talk more when you're dressed. Recovery girl left some of her gummies over here in case you got injured again. Eat them."

"Okay."

The conversation about mental health in superheroes was interrupted when Shota came home. He put his capture weapon on the hook and slipped his shoes off silently.

"Bad run, babe?" Yamada asked. Shota didn't answer. He walked quietly over to his boyfriend and wrapped him in a tight hug, shoving his face into his shoulder. He rubbed his back gently, the soothing circles drawing the stress out of him.

Izuku looked at his tea, pretending not to see the actions in front of him.

"Looks like someone needs a back rub," Yamada commented with a smile. Shota responded by flicking him in the forehead and releasing himself from the hug. He made his way to the couch and flopped down, pulling a blanket off of the back of it and curling up.

"See, little listener?" Yamada said quietly. "Even the pro heroes have bad days."

"Shut up and come cuddle me you overgrown cockatiel."

Izuku laughed quietly to himself and sat on the other couch, flipping the channel on to some relatively mindless cartoon to occupy their thoughts.

"I'm gonna give you a backrub," Yamada stated.

"Then so be it."

Yamada laughed and helped Shota remove his shirt. He had an expression of fond annoyance and let him continue. Truth be told, he enjoyed being spoiled every once in a very rare blue moon.

Izuku soon found himself zoning out at Yamada's hands. They seemed to work in soft, smooth actions. They ran from Shota's neck to the base of his spine, rubbing away knots and stress as he hummed a soft song. His dad seemed to relax, something he should do more, and Izuku too found himself beginning to calm at the actions.

"If you want, little listener, I can give you one as well."

Izuku shook his head and pulled his blanket around him tighter. He hated the idea of being shirtless right now. He didn't want to see any of the scars and faint pink of his anxiety attack.

"You don't have to, but you look like you need one."

"Maybe later."

Izuku couldn't get comfortable that night. His back seemed to ache more than usual and no matter how much he stretched it wouldn't release. He even popped his spine and neck, to no avail. He ached and was exhausted, emotionally and physically.

Yamada came in to check on him, having heard the constant rolling. He had a small, tired smile on his face and was wandering around in his usual, comfortable nightwear.

"You doing alright?"

Izuku looked like he was trying to say something but couldn't manage to make the sentence work. He opened his mouth a couple times, each time closing it and trying to find a better way. Yamada laughed quietly.

"Do you wanna take me up on that offer?"

"Yes please."