Chapter 11
(Gale POV)
All night my mind runs circles around the mess Madge is in now. I try to sort it out, try to think of any possible solution and over and over I come up blank. No loop holes, no way out, no solution in sight. I can't figure out which bothers me more, the thought of her being reaped or the thought of some sleazy Capitol goon laying a single finger on her body. Not that it matters. She's already decided on taking the reaping. She decided right away apparently. She said she couldn't bare the thought of marrying anyone other than me, even if that meant going into the games. I wonder if she realizes that either way she won't get to marry me. If she marries Quinton then obviously she can't marry me. That part I know she gets. It's the fact that the next reaping will occur before she's allowed to marry me that she doesn't seem to have noticed. She'll still be in school when the reaping occurs which means she won't yet have married me. We're doomed either way. As I held her all night, I watched her sleeping, trying to absorb the image into my mind forever. She looks so peaceful while she sleeps. I didn't have the heart to point out to her that we were never going to be married now. That I'd never get to call her my wife. I figure we have about 9 months until the next reaping. I have 9 short months left with the only person I love this much, this way. It isn't enough, not by a long shot. Do I live every waking moment trying to love her as much as I can until she goes? Do we try and do as much as we can now? Or do we start preparing for the most painful goodbye either of us will ever endure? I just don't know how to deal with this. Every instinct I have is telling me to run away with her. Telling me it's the only way the two of us can be together. She won't do it though. She won't let me abandon my family. Not that I want to abandon them but I just need her in my life so badly that I'd do anything. Even if it meant leaving my family. I'd find a way to make sure they were taken care of if we ran. I'd never just totally abandon them. I think we could make it too; out in the woods together. We'd be safe and we could be happy. I won't rule it out as an option for us. She may not be willing to consider it right now, but maybe later, when it's closer to the reaping. I sigh as I notice the clock telling me I have to leave for work soon. I debate internally as to whether or not I should skip work today and stay with Madge. I have no idea if she was planning on going back to school today or if she'll just wait until Monday. I really can't afford to skip work though. The fence has been on nonstop for days now with the Mayor out of town and I'm going to need every cent I have to make ends meet. Begrudgingly, I wake Madge.
"Hey, beautiful. I have to go to work now. I'll see you tonight." I whisper as I nudge her cheek with my nose and place gentle kisses on her face.
"Don't go." She says groggily as she attempts to snuggle closer against me.
"I have to go. Can't get in the woods to hunt right now. I'll spend the night again tonight, even if your father comes back, I'll stay with you."
She leans up and kisses me. "Okay. I'll meet you at the boulder after work. Love you."
I exit through the back of the house so I can collect my boots from the porch. Mabel is walking up just as I slip them on.
"Is she back?" She asks without even a word about why I'm leaving the house at dawn.
"Got back last night. I stayed with her, didn't want her to be alone." I explain, even though she hadn't asked.
"Yes, of course. Thank you for making sure she wasn't alone. Did she tell you? What they wanted with her I mean?"
"I should really let her tell you."
"Gale, I need to know. When she wakes up, I need to know how I can be supportive. Please tell me."
"Her marital contract didn't actually get voided by Crane's death. President Snow is going to make her pay up for all the years she benefited from not being in the reaping. He made her choose to either marry his First Advisor or too have her name entered 500 times in the next reaping. She took the reaping."
"Oh no!" Mabel gasps as she covers her mouth with her hand.
"Yeah, it's bad. She's sleeping and I'm heading to work but I'm coming back tonight."
She nods, eyes teary and gives me a sorrow filled smile. I fight back tears and head off towards the mines. It's going to be a long day.
(Madge POV)
"Mabel!" I cry out as I rush to hug her.
"Miss Madge, it's so good to have you home again! Are you hungry? Come, let me make you some breakfast." She says with a smile. A smile that looks different than her normal smile. It looks fake.
"He told you didn't he?" I ask her, realizing that Gale must have told her about what happened with President Snow.
"He didn't want to. I coaxed it out of him. How are you feeling this morning?"
"It's okay, I'm not mad that he told you. And I feel pretty crappy. Like I just got delivered my death sentence." I tell her as tears well up in my eyes.
"If I had the words or wisdom to comfort you right now, oh how I would. I'm so sorry, so terribly sorry." She says as she wraps her arms around me.
"I know you would. Mabel, when is my father going to be home?"
"I don't know. He should have been back two days ago but sent a message through his secretary saying he'd be a little longer. I'm sure he'll be home soon."
"Oh, I see. Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. That's what I'll have for breakfast." I tell her, trying to lighten the mood.
"I'll make them right now. You go on up and get ready for school." She says as she stands and ties on her apron.
I nod and head upstairs to my room. Normally I would dress and be completely ready for school by the time I come downstairs but today I just wanted to see Mabel. I needed to see someone who felt like home to me. I was only in the Capitol for a couple days including travel time but it feels like longer. All I want to do is surround myself with my family and my friends. To be close to the people I care about the most. I wonder if this is how people feel when they find out they're dying? Because that really is what this feels like. I feel like I'm dying. Like my life is already over and it's barely just started. As I shower and get dressed I think about how there is still so much I had wanted to do in my life. I'll never be a mother. Never hear the pitter patter of little feet running through my house. Hell, I'll never even have my own house. And then it hits me. I'll never even get to marry Gale. The reaping occurs before I'll be finished with school. And we can't marry until I'm finished with school. I can't believe I never thought of this before now. Can't believe it wasn't my first thought. I won't ever be Mrs. Gale Hawthorne. I slump to the floor of my closet as I let this should-have-been-obvious fact sink in. I wonder if Gale realized it? He probably did, just didn't want to point it out to me. I look down at my ring I was so honored to be given. The ring that made me feel a part of something special. I know I need to give it back to Hazelle. It wouldn't be fair of me to keep it. It's been in their family for so long and I can't let it stay on my hand if I won't be able to marry Gale. I'll give it back tonight when he comes over. It'll break his heart, I already know that, but I have to do it. Gale needs to give this ring to a girl he'll actually get to spend his life with. And thanks to my mother and President Snow, that girl will not be me.
I dry my eyes and touch up my makeup before going downstairs for my breakfast. Mabel's really outdone herself with my breakfast. I sit down to a plate piled high with Belgian waffles layered with whipped cream and strawberries. She's picked flowers from the garden and placed them in a vase by my place setting. My napkin is tied with a pretty pink ribbon and she's served me on some of our best china. I eat, mostly out of courtesy for Mabel. My appetite is practically nonexistent but I eat because it makes her happy, makes her feel like she helped. I tell her goodbye and grab my things, heading over to school. I have no desire to go to school but I don't know what else I would do. Everyone knows that I was summoned out of class so I'm sure there will be gossip and whispers. And I'm also sure I don't have the strength to keep up a very believable illusion. Nonetheless, I go bravely into my first class and take my seat. The whispering starts immediately. I don't get it. If they want to know what happened or why I was summoned why don't they just ask me instead of wondering? I'm behind in my lectures because of my absences and spend most of my first few classes trying to get up to speed with what's being taught. By the time the bell rings for us to go to lunch my head is aching from all the extra work. At lunch, I'm grateful to see Rory as he slides into the chair across from me.
"Boy am I glad you're back! Where the heck have you been?" He says with a big grin, genuinely happy to see me.
"I had to go to the Capitol for a few days. Hungry? Mabel went a little overboard with my food today." I say as I push a slice of cherry pie towards him.
"The Capitol, huh? Well, I know Gale will be glad you're back. He's been in one crummy mood while you were away. Maybe now he'll be back to normal." He says as he shovels a bite of the pie into his mouth.
"To be honest, I wasn't in that great a mood without him around me either."
"You know, when you were gone there were some things being said about you. I wasn't sure what to think."
"Like what?" I ask hesitantly.
"Heard Peacekeepers came and took you right out of class. Heard you were in some kinda trouble. Lots of folks saying you weren't coming back."
"Well, I was summoned out of class by a Peacekeeper so that part is true. President Snow wanted to discuss my mother's health status with me and then I had a meeting with my stylist to look at wedding dresses." I tell him, intentionally giving him the fluff version of what really transpired.
"Mmm, well, that's good that you aren't in any kinda trouble. Did you find a dress already?"
"No, my stylist and I have different ideas on what I'd want my wedding to look like."
"I've never been to a fancy wedding before. Bet yours will be really fancy, huh?" He says through a mouthful of pie.
"It wouldn't be if I had any say in it. I'd rather do something small and simple."
"Well, you have a while before the wedding gets here, maybe you'll have time to convince your stylist to give you what you want." He says optimistically.
"Maybe." I say, fighting hard to not break down in tears. All this wedding talk is just another reminder of what won't be happening.
The bell rings signaling the end of lunch, I tell Rory goodbye and then I decide that I've had all I can take of school today. What's the point anyway? I go by the administrative office and let them know that I'm not feeling well and will be going home. This way they can let my afternoon professors know that I followed procedure and checked out appropriately. God forbid I not follow the appropriate procedures. I leave the school and decide to stop by the Justice Building so I can speak to my father's secretary. I'm hoping she can clue me in as to when I can expect my father to return home. It doesn't make sense for him to still be in the Capitol.
"Miss Undersee, what a lovely surprise! What can I do for you today?" She greets me as I enter my father's office.
"I was curious if you've been advised as to my father's travel plans yet? If you know when I can expect him to return home?" I ask with a sweet smile.
"He'll be a little longer I'm afraid. Possibly back on Sunday."
"I see. Do you perhaps know what it is he's doing?"
"Now Miss Undersee, you know I'm not at liberty to discuss your father's business affairs." She scolds me gently.
"Yes, of course. My apologies. Have a good afternoon." I apologize and scoot before she can ask why I'm asking so many questions all of a sudden.
As I'm exiting the Justice Building, I run into Tripp.
"Hey Madge. Why aren't you in school?"
"I left at lunchtime. Had about all I could take for today." I say with a sigh, glad I don't have to pretend to be happy in front of him.
"What are you doing now? I just finished the last delivery of my shift and I'm not doing anything the rest of today. Feel like some company?"
"As long as you don't care that I'll make for lousy company." I warn him.
"Doesn't matter to me." He says as he gestures towards his house. I start walking with him.
"So, I hear you're engaged. Congratulations." He says. Though there's a tinge of sadness in his voice, his statement also carries a genuine feeling of happiness. Most likely happiness that I'm happy and not so much happiness that I'm marrying Gale.
"Thanks, I don't think there's going to be a wedding though. Not anymore."
"Because of whatever happened in the Capitol?" He asks.
I nod, unable to speak for fear of crying.
"If you want to talk about it, I can listen. I won't tell anyone, whatever it is." He says as we enter his house.
"Is your family home?" I ask, wanting to know if anyone will hear me if I share the details of my Capitol trip with him.
"No. Marah and my father are working in the café and my mother is at her quilting club meeting. No one will hear us talking if that's what you're worried about."
I nod and swallow, taking a deep breath before I begin. "It's the craziest thing. Unbelievable really. I'm not sure even where to begin to explain it. My mother signed an agreement when I was a baby that kept me from ever being put into the reaping. This agreement, it was that I would marry Seneca Crane on my 18th birthday in exchange for my safety."
"Isn't he dead though?"
"Yes. And I foolishly thought that meant the agreement was nullified. President Snow summoned me this week so that he could let me know just how foolish I was."
"What happened?"
"I was given a choice. Marry the First Advisor to President Snow or have my name entered 500 times in the next reaping."
"You took the reaping didn't you?" He says quietly as if he already knows my answer to his question.
"Didn't figure I had much of a choice. I won't marry someone I don't love."
"And there's no way to get out of it? No other option?"
"Not that I can see. President Snow pretty much saw to it that my fate was sealed up no matter which one of his options I chose."
"What's Gale say about it? He want you to pick the reaping?"
"He isn't happy obviously. He's confident picking the reaping is the same as signing my death certificate. Can't say I disagree about the death part."
"The games are brutal Madge, He's probably right. I doubt you'd last."
"I know that as good as everyone else does. I'm fully aware that the skills I hold make me much more qualified to be some Capitol wife than to be a tribute in the games. But I can't commit my life and my love to a man who's very glance makes my skin crawl. To a man that isn't Gale."
"Okay, so you've made your decision. You're taking the reaping. And well, that means you'll be going into the games. That many slips and it's impossible not to be picked. But now what? What do you do now, until the reaping?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what's your plan? Surely you aren't just going to sit around and wait to die."
"Well, I don't think there's much else I can do. Just wait for the inevitable."
"Nonsense. You could start preparing for the games. The careers do it all the time so why should you be any different. You have an advantage in knowing you'll probably be going in so why not use it? Give yourself a fighting chance."
I stare at him, taking in what he just said. I should train. I should be preparing. It never crossed my mind, not once. "Tripp, I never thought of that. Do you think it would work? Do you think I could learn enough to win the games?"
"It couldn't hurt any. You're giving up too easy Madge. You have to fight. And you have to start fighting now." He says, staring at me closely with his fiercely blue eyes.
"You're right. I just got so overwhelmed by everything that I never even thought about trying to win. It's worth a shot I guess." I say, scared of the hope I feel rising up within me. It's dangerous to hope but I want to so badly.
"Worth a shot? Are you crazy? It's your life! I'd say that's worth more than a shot." He fires back at me with such energy.
"You're right. You're so right." I say back, letting his energy break my hope free. I can do this. "I can train for the games and then if I win, I can come back home and marry Gale! And then I'd be free forever!"
"Now that's the fighting spirit I'm talking about! You can't let them steal that away." He says, looking relieved that I've stopped wallowing in my sorrows and decided to do something about it.
"Thank you, Tripp. I can't wait to tell Gale about this! I can't wait to start training!" I say with tears in my eyes. These are not tears of pity though, these are tears of hope. Hope that I may be able to get through this, through the unthinkable.
"Um, about that, maybe it would be better if you just didn't tell Gale about it being my idea." He says looking nervously at the floor.
"You don't have to worry about that. About Gale, I mean. He's so grateful for what you did for us that he'll be fine with it. He doesn't have a problem with you anymore."
He doesn't say anything, just shrugs, looking a little unsure. I say goodbye to Tripp and head home to my house. For the first time in days I feel hopeful. Hopeful I can win the games. Hopeful I can win back the life I had planned with Gale.
A/N: Sorry about the split POV on this chapter. I usually try not to do that but it just kinda worked out that way this chapter.