Previously on 'Our Little Relapses'
POV Hanna
They got my into Aria's room, Ezra is in there looked rather ill himself, but I ignored him, I looked at Aria. She looks worse then I thought she would. Her face looks like she hasn't slept in weeks, and that she got into a pretty bad fist fight. Her frame looks like she's been starved, and the looks on her face is just hopeless. "Aria? Aria? It's me Hanna. Can you look at me?" I asked after a minute of staring at her.
"Don't be upset if the doesn't wake up Hanna, she hasn't so much as opened her eyes in three days." Ezra informed me trying not to get my hopes up on Aria responding to me.
I internally smiled as Aria showed her husband wrong. She opened her blackened, bloodshot eyes and moved her head ever so slightly to look at me. "Hanna." she croaked in a whisper of surprise in reply. I don't think she ever expected to see me again.
I smiled at her, "Yeah, it's me. Now I need for you to listen to me, Ar. We're both going to be okay, you've just got to hold on and let the good doctors do their job. We'll get through this together like we always do. Don't give up on me now." I stated. This is a fact, she is going to be just fine, and we are going to get through this, together.
She didn't look convinced, "I can't Han. I feel so bad." she replied in desperation, pain, and exhaustion.
That was certainly not an acceptable answer. "Yes you can, Aria. I want you to listen to my words, this isn't going to be easy, it's going to be hard, but we are going to fight and we are going to make it through this." by the time I was finished speaking all that was left of my voice was a whisper, but it was enough to get the point across to her.
She smiled, "Okay. We'll get through this together." she promised, now so exhausted that she couldn't keep her eyes open, and she quickly fell back asleep. Okay, she has agreed that we are going to make it through this.
POV Mike
As I unlocked my phone an incoming call from Caleb came in, so I answered it. "Hey, what's going on?" I asked hoping for good news... well at least not bad news.
"Hanna woke up. She spoke with Aria. I think Aria's going to make it now. She's gotten better in just the hour since Hanna's spoken with her." Caleb informed me with excitement.
So maybe we do have more time with Aria then I thought we would, definitely nothing to complain about. "That's great man! How's Hanna been since she's woken up?" I asked with excitement for our most recant news. As I spoke I ran down the stairs and into the kitchen where Alison and Atticus are making faces at each other and Alison is not making me anything to eat.
Alison looked up at me and raised her eyebrows, "Why aren't you in the shower? You can have lunch after you take a shower." she said, not seeming to notice my happy excitement and the phone pressed against my ear.
"Just a second Caleb." I told Caleb so that I could tell Alison off. "Forget about lunch, Alison! Hanna woke up and spoke with Aria. Aria's doing a lot better because of it!" I practically yelled at her trying to convey the importance of my talking on the phone and not showering like she told me to. "Okay, so, how's Hanna?" I asked Caleb again letting him know that he can talk now.
A laugh came from his end of the line, "She's okay. She's pretty lethargic and sore. She's still trying to grasp everything that's happened but she's back asleep now. I know we've got a long ways to go, but I think that we're finally to the top of the hill." he informed me. You could tell by the tone in his voice that he was ecstatic about the fact that after more then a week Hanna finally woke up.
I smiled, "Good. Spencer and Toby still aren't back from taking Tiff to her doctors appointment, but I'm pretty sure she's back to normal." I informed him with information on his daughter.
"I am so glad. Are you going to be by here this afternoon?" he asked in reply.
"Yeah, I should be. Once we've eaten lunch I was going to see if someone would take me anyway." I told him.
"Think you could bring Tiff along? I miss my little girl, and I'm sure if Han's awake she'd love to see our baby. If it isn't too much trouble, you should bring Atticus too. We'd all like to see him too. Maybe now that your sister is doing a little bit better she'll actually enjoy getting to see her son." he requested.
"I think we can manage that. Do we need to bring you anything for lunch? Alison's making burgers I'm sure we could bring you one." I offered knowing that he's probably tired of the food from the hospital cafeteria.
"That would be wonderful. So I'll see you in a little bit." he replied.
Four weeks later. POV Aria.
"Ezra can you see if there is some way that I can bathe? I'm starting to get acne from oily skin and my hair has definitely seen better days. Hanna got to take a shower yesterday, so I should too!" I requested as I felt the painful pimples covering my face.
I still feel like crap, and I don't feel too much better, but I am doing better which everyone if thankful for. Both Hanna and I are out of ICU and in a long term care unit sharing a room together. My hip still isn't doing too great, they're thinking I'll probably be in a wheelchair for about a year if not more, then after that we'll see about upgrading to a walker, work on trying a cane, then maybe someday I might be able to walk on my own again, but I'm not holing my breath on that. Even while on constant pain killers I'm in excruciating pain a lot of the time.
Ezra laughed, "I'm happy to hear you're concerned about your hair. I haven't heard any concern out of your mouth concerning hair in months. I'll talk to a nurse and see what we can do. I'm sure that they can give you a sponge bath and have some way or another to wash your hair. I take this as you're feeling at least okay right now?" he said with a hopeful voice.
I shrugged, "Not necessarily, but I feel filthy which makes me feel even worse, so I feel that bathing would be beneficial. I'd even go for you being the one giving me that sponge bath if they'll let you." I suggested with a smile on my face.
After almost dying I've realized how much I love Ezra and how much I've missed him, where as I still don't feel up to any sort of PDA I still take every chance I get to talk him up. I believe that he enjoys this as well since he's been going along with it and replying naughty things back into my ear.
His face lit up, "I know I would like that. You rest up while I go talk with your nurse about that." he agreed as he walked out the door.
A few minutes later Ezra walked back in with a bag with a sponge and soap. "Ready for you're bath my dear? There is a chair in the shower that we're going to have you sit on, there is already shampoo and conditioner in there and we're going to wash you hair in the sink." he informed me with a thoroughly happy smile on his face.
I took a deep breath and nodded my head, I've gotten out of bed about twice since all of this has started. It's quite a job and it exhausts me. "Let's do this." I told him letting him unhook me from the vast array of wires attached to me, and lift me out of my bed and into the wheel chair.
He wheeled me into the bathroom and closed the door behind us. "Let's wash my hair first then let the conditioner sink in while we wash the rest of me." I proposed as he helped me undress. Not that I'm really wearing too much. I'm wearing a small black satin nighty with matching underwear. It's all that really feels comfortable right now, it doesn't weight much, and it doesn't rub against my hip, and it gives Ezra a little something to look at.
Although, I am kinda of a scary sight right now. I'm not sure if he wants to look at me. I'm all boney and pale, definitely not attractive, but he seemed to jump at the idea of him getting to bath me, see me naked, touch and feel every inch of my body...
He nodded his head, "Okay. I'm going to help you into this chair and put this pillow under your neck so you can lean your head into the sink, okay?" he told me giving me an idea of what I need to do.
Once he finished bathing me he helped me into a clean hot-pink nighty and lifted me into bed, where I quickly fell asleep again. Just the act of being out of my bed caused me to be thoroughly exhausted. I didn't even do anything, Ezra did all of the work. It frustrates me that I still sleep for most of the day, but I also know that this recovery is going to be a long road.
When I awoke Hanna was back in bed from her dentist appointment, her teeth weren't doing all that great from all of the vomiting that she'd done and she had to get them worked on, sooner rather then later. "How'd your dentist appointment go?" I asked in a sleepy voice as I tugged the blanket over my shoulders.
She shrugged, "He had to do quite a bit of work on them, but I wasn't up for too much so I have to go back next week to get more work done. Who knew stomach acid could eat away at your teeth so much..." she informed me and she rolled to her side where she's facing me.
"Hmm, that sounds fun." I said with sarcasm in my voice.
She rolled her eyes at me, "Word on the street is you bathed while I was gone. How did that go?" she asked knowing that it takes a lot for me to be able to get out of bed.
I sighed, "Alright I guess. Ezra did all of the work, but even so, afterwords I was exhausted and went right to sleep. I've been asleep ever since. So, where have our lovely husbands gotten off to?" I asked as I noted that we are the only two people in here right now.
She smiled, "They went to go eat and spend some time with our amazing children. They probably won't be back until morning, but I think Spencer and Toby'll be by sometime after supper time." she informed me.
I looked at the digital clock on the bedside table in between our beds. "So probably in an hour or so, and they'll also bring us something here soon." I stated as I let out a yawn. "I've been sleeping all day, why an I still tired?" I complained.
"Because Mrs. Aria, you're body has gone through a lot and for it to get better it's going to take a lot of rest. I know that's frustrating, but you're going to need to accept that that is going to be your life for a while. It'll all get better though." the nurse informed me as she walked in to make her rounds.
I sighed, "I know. I'm just tired of being tired and I miss my son." I replied as I pressed the button on my bed to make me slightly sit up.
"I know. So you're dinner should be in shortly. More soup, surprise, surprise." she smiled at us trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm tired of eating soup. I know I even have a hard time eating that, but it's getting pretty old." Hanna complained with a smile on her face.
The nurse laughed, "Well maybe I can arrange for something different for breakfast in the morning. Not making any promises though!" she compromised as she walked back out the door.
Sure enough a candy stripper walked in the door with our food, "Here is dinner for you lovely ladies, I hope you enjoy, and I will be back in a little while to collect your dishes." the boy told us as he placed our trays on our tables on top of our laps.
"Thank you." Hanna and I said in unison as the kid walked out.
Once he was gone we both laughed at his young adorableness, "He sounded like he was trying to flirt with us, yet he sounded so mechanical!" Hanna made fun of him as she took a look at her bowl of soup and poured her little package of salt into it.
I laughed with her, "I think he was given a script or something! He was cute though, he couldn't have been older then fourteen, maybe fifteen years old." I agreed as I did the same with my bowl of soup.
Before I got a chance to start eating another nurse walked in with my oral medication that I take every evening with my dinner. "Thanks." I told her, and she left us to eat.
"How's your stomach doing?" I asked her as I started to eat my chicken noodle soup. She's still taking her medication via IV and still can't eat too much. I on the other hand take one of my pain medications orally. I'm still on a constant IV though so I can get fluids, a different pain medication, and all of my antibiotics.
She shrugged, "It still hurts to eat, even if the majority of what I eat is broth from the soup. I'm still trying to figure out how I was ever able to stuff my face with brownies and ice-cream." she informed me with a stressed voice.
I sighed, "At least we're getting better, and you know we're both well under our pre- baby weights." I joked as I looked down at the pile of bones I like to call my body.
She smiled and nodded her head, "Yeah, that is right. I'm sorry to tell you this Ar, but you are getting pretty scary looking you're so skinny." she laughed as she threw her package of crackers at me that she isn't supposed to eat anyway.
A few minutes later we both ate as much as we could of our dinner and pushed it to the side, and Spencer and Toby walked in. "Hm, more chicken noodle. I'm sure you two are getting pretty tired of that by now." Toby commented.
We nodded our heads, "Well we've had it every day ever since we've been here, so yeah, we're pretty worn out on soup. So what did you two have for dinner?" Hanna asked them, trying to enjoy eating through them.
"We took Mike out for Italian food. We figured he could use a little time out of the house, and that way Caleb and Ezra could have some alone time with the babies." Spencer informed us.
I smiled, "Good, thank you. I'm sure Mike really enjoyed that. It's been a few days since I've seen him up here, how's he been doing?" I said happy that Mike was able to get out and have dinner, and the boys could spend have some time with the babies.
Spencer and Toby sat down and exchanged a worried expression. "Mike is... Mike is scared of you right now. He says the way you look freaks him out. He hate seeing you this way... Aria, he thinks all of this is his fault. He told us that he had a suspicion that you had had a relapse, but he didn't say anything, so he feels guilty that you're going through this." she informed me with a slow steady voice careful in trying to not upset me.
"What.. Why does he think that? I need to talk to him... You need to go get him and bring him here, I need to explain to him that non of this is his thought what so ever." I said with tears running down my face.
She looked like she regretted telling me this bit of information. "Okay, but Aria you need to stay calm. Okay? You've been doing so well, we don't want to change that, okay?" she told me.
I nodded my head, "I'm calm, but I need to make things right with Mike. He's my little brother and my responsibility. It's my job to make sure that he's alright and that he's been taken care of." I told her as I wiped the tears off my face.
She nodded her head, "Toby, why don't you go get Mike while I stay here with them?" she suggested as she rubbed his hand.
He nodded his head, "Well be here in about twenty minutes, but visiting hours are going to be over in about an hour so you'll only have a few minutes with them." he informed me as he stood up from his chair and walked out the door.
When they returned Mike walked in with a guilty face. "Hey Mike, what's this I hear of you being afraid of me?" I asked him as he walked in in his pajama pants and an old t-shirt.
He shrugged, "I had a feeling that you'd started cutting yourself again, but I didn't say anything to anyone. This is all my fault." he informed me, refusing to make eye contact. He's really broken up about this.
"Mike why on earth do you think this is your fault? It isn't. I did this to myself, and I'm not proud of it. I was not in a good place. I know that this isn't a good excuse, but if you've been depressed before then it makes you more apt to have postpartum depression and when you get postpartum depression it makes you more apt to take back up old habits like cutting or bulimia. Mike I know you know how it feel to be depressed and how low you feel. So you have to understand that this is my fault, not yours. Okay?" I explained to him hoping that he understands because I'm already having trouble staying awake, even Hanna has already fallen asleep. I'm only awake because the mom in me has kicked in and I need to talk to my brother.
He nodded his head, "But Aria. Maybe if I had told someone you wouldn't have gotten so bad and you wouldn't have ended up here." he said, still beating himself up about the situation. His face filled with guilt, although I am unsure why. He did nothing wrong, because even if he had told someone, it wasn't his job to. It's my job to take care of him, not the other way around.
I took a deep breath, "Mike. I know that me almost dying was a horrible, horrible thing, but you know what? It made me see things in a completely light. I'm going to come out of this a stronger person, I'm sure that we all are. So don't feel bad about any of this. Just listen to that Kelly Clarkson song 'What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger.' We are all stronger people of this, because you know even though it was extremely close to killing me, it didn't, it just made me that much stronger." I said trying to think of the best way to explain this to him and make him realize that he does not by any means need to feel guilty about any of this.
Spencer nodded her head, "Aria is right Mike. All of our lives have changed because of this, and just because it's a terrible situation doesn't mean it can't make us better people and let good come from this." she told him, backing me up on my point and she saw my eyelids starting to droop.
Mike nodded his head, "I guess you're right, but you're my big sister and I hate to see you sick. All you are is skin and bones now. Not trying to be rude, but you're kind of a scary looking right now." he informed me as he eyeballed me up and down.
I gave a weak laugh, "Yeah. I know, but I'm getting better. I'm getting a lot better. So please, don't feel bad about this, it isn't doing anyone any good." I ordered him. My words are starting to slur together from exhaustion, but I meant every word that I said from the heart.
Mike nodded his head. "Okay, well I'll let you get some sleep. I'll see about coming to see you after school tomorrow." he replied as he made his way to the door.
I smiled, "See you later then. Have a good day. Love you." I bid him farewell, already most of the way to sleep.
Spencer kissed the side of my head and followed behind Mike with Toby at her tail. "Love you Ar, I'll talk to you tomorrow after school." she told me and they headed out the door, closing the door behind them darkening the room to where I can get some rest.
A/N How did you like this chapter? They've left the hospital and are in a long term care facility now. Things still aren't going that great for them but they are slowly but surely making progress!
Please review and tell me what you think! You're reviews seriously light up my day!
Thank you so much for reading! XOXO ~ TotalCowGirl