Chapter 11

Felicity walked back to her desk. She hadn't told Sam but there was a tracker in the earpiece and he still had his in. She saw where he was going, it looked like he was stopping at a liquor store. She may be mad at Oliver but he had to fix this. She texted Diggle the address where Sam was. Diggle texted back that they were coming to the Lake House first. Oliver had lost a lot of blood and Diggle agreed with Oliver that Sam was not their main priority right now. Felicity didn't bother to reply. They were both being idiots.

"Sam, don't please. " she said

Sam heard Felicity in his ear. His guardian angel.

"Why not? I lost it. I gave into the rage. "

"It's not your fault. "

"You don't understand, I wanted to. It felt so good, someone else got to feel pain instead of me and people I love. Someone else got to scream themselves hoarse for once. . I'm becoming more and more like them. More and more like a demon. Maybe Oliver should just kill me and get it over with. I'm a danger to everyone." He knew, he just knew that it would happen again.

"Stop that right now!" her voice crackled in his ear. "Oliver should have stopped you. "

Sam just laughed, a weak, bitter laugh. " He couldn't. If he had tried I would have knocked him out or shot him. He knew it too. He knew what I had become. He was half stunned by being thrown into a wall and stabbed with his own arrow. I was standing over the both of them fully armed. I wouldn't have cared what he said. I just wanted to see the blood flow. The only person that could have stopped me is dead. Don't be mad at him. He made the right choice. He can't afford to lose control like I did tonight, it's too hard to get it back. I am fine with him using me to get that information. Hell I volunteered to do it. " Sam's voice was so empty.

'I'll find a place to stay until the window comes in. I don't deserve to be in that house anymore. Thank you all so much for trying to help me. I know you know my phone number, I'll pick up the window and leave town. " Sam pulled out the earpiece. He had found some extra credit cards that he and Dean had stashed in the compartment. He had managed to clean the blood off his face and hands at a park bathroom that he had found that was still opened. His shirt was beyond help, there was an extra shirt in the car he changed into. He walked into the liquor store and bought about $50.00 of alcohol and drove off. He didn't want to go to a motel or hotel yet. He just wanted to be left alone. He headed up the road to the Lake house and found a turn off about 4 miles from the house. He drove slowly down the gravel road and it stopped at another end of the lake. He got out of the car, sat on the hood and started drinking. Maybe he would just sleep out here tonight.

Diggle and Oliver drove past that turn out and headed to the house. Felicity hadn't informed them as to where Sam was. If she had a car she would have already driven out there to talk to Sam but Oliver had her car still at the club. She was going to have a long, and to use Oliver's phrasing , pointed conversation with both of them as soon as they got to the house. She heard the door open and stormed into the living room. She stopped when she saw Oliver. He was still covered in blood, the area around the shoulder wound was caked in his blood and then there was splatter from the soldier when Sam had shot him. Her words died on her lips. She walked over to him and helped him get his shirt off as Diggle got the first aid kit opened up. It was stuck to his shoulder from all the drying blood. Then she walked into the kitchen and got a bunch of towels wet with hot water, came back and started cleaning out the wound.

"I am still angry at you. " She said "However, you said Sam was your responsibility now. So here's the deal. You have said repeatedly that you owe me your life and in some ways your humanity. As soon as you get patched up you going to where he is and talk him out of wanting to die. You owe me at least that. He told me that you may as well kill him. I swear to you right now Oliver Queen that if Sam dies or is unable to recover from this I hold you fully responsible for that and you can find yourself a new guardian angel. I will not associate with people who throw friends away when it conveniences them. Understand? " she heard Diggle catch his breath.

"Felicity, Sam may not want to…" Dig started to say.

"Dig, shut up. Oliver survived 5 years on an island with people trying to kill him, he worked his way into the Russian mob, he learned Chinese and Russian so well that people think he is a native speaker. He learned archery and fighting skills that are on par with professional assassins. He can damn well do this. " her voice was shaking she was so furious. How dare Diggle think Sam didn't want to be saved!

Oliver reached his hand up, lightly held her hand that was wiping the blood off the front of his shoulder.

"Yes, I understand. After you clean that up Diggle and I will seal this off. Tell me where he is. I'll change clothes and go talk to him. " Oliver's tone was very quiet. They got Oliver stitched and bandaged up, Felicity told him where Sam was and he headed out. He was a bit light headed to be on the bike but he figured the ride would clear his head. It wasn't that far anyway. He pulled the bike onto the gravel road and pulled in behind the Impala. Sam was sitting in front of the car, staring at the lake and he had several six packs next to him. It looked like he had worked his way through quite a few.

"Come to kill me? I told Felicity you should. " Sam said without turning his head.

"No. Felicity saw everything. She tapped into a feed." Oliver saw Sam bow his head.

"Fuck. She still tried to talk me out of this even after seeing that? "

'She talked to you?" Oliver asked as he walked closer.

"Yeah over the earpiece. She tried to get me to not buy all the alcohol. I told her it didn't matter anymore. I wanted to do it, I wanted to see the blood, hear the screams. It felt so good. I'm turning into a demon more and more. I gather there's a tracking device in the earpiece. That's how you found me. " Sam said.

"Felicity's as stubborn as the rest of us about people she cares about. " he sat down next to Sam. "Mind if I have one?" he asked picking up a can.

"Go for it, you probably need it to dull that shoulder wound. I've got plenty. " Sam finally looked at Oliver. "Look, I really am grateful for what you, Dig and Felicity have tried to do. I am but I'm a threat to everyone I care about. Just leave or kill me. I'm tired Oliver, so tired of it all. " He turned his head away again, his movement heavy and exhausted.

"No. Family doesn't abandon family. I used you, for that I apologize. I took advantage of your breakdown because I can't allow myself to get caught up in the anger anymore. I have too many responsibilities, I have to control it. It was pointed out to me that perhaps that makes me more soulless than what you think you are. " Oliver said.

"Oliver, get off your high horse. You couldn't make me stop, you knew it. The only person who could have reached me right then was Dean, my Dad probably wouldn't have been able to make me stop. If you had tried I would have shot you in the other shoulder, that's why I told you to leave.. Oh I picked up your arrows too, I didn't want you associated with that mess. I volunteered to torture that guy because I wanted to. You're absolved of all guilt. Get over it. "

"Sam don't you see? The fact that you told me to leave, that you picked up the arrows, you can control this. You can make it through. " Oliver pleaded with him. He hadn't known about Sam picking up the arrows. That gave him hope.

"The problem is I don't want to. Did Felicity tell you anything I told her when we had our long talk? "

"No she felt it had been said in confidence. She kept whatever secrets you entrusted her with. "
"Oliver, I swear, you ever hurt that woman I will kick your ass so hard. She deserves people a lot better than we are in her life. . Anyway, my mom was killed because she saw something. When I was six months old a demon came into my nursery, cut himself and let the blood drip into my mouth. He did this to a lot of kids. Apparently he was looking for a soldier to lead his demon army. Anyway, awhile ago I started having visions about other people that had the same thing happen to them. One day I woke up in an abandoned town with a bunch of the other people. It was kill or be killed, the demon's proving ground so to speak. One guy had super strength, sliced right through my spine. I died, Dean sold his soul, I came back. The point of all this is I have demon blood in me. I feel it calling to me, the darkness. It gets harder and harder to fight it. After Dean died, it's like quicksand. The more I struggle the deeper I get. I'm tired. I'm doomed to hell anyway may as well get there. At least I can see Dean again. Who knows, maybe we can figure a way out together." Sam emptied another beer can, tossed it aside and opened a new one.

"I'll trade you secret for secret Sam. That shipwreck, my father and I both survived it. We were days out on a life raft with no hope, supplies were gone. My father gave me a book that had a list of names in it. Names of powerful corrupt people. He told me that it was up to me to right his wrongs, that he had been hurting the people of this city and he couldn't live with that anymore. Then he pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head not 3 feet from me. I understand people sacrificing themselves for you. I understand being tortured, I understand the nightmares, the guilt, the anger at the whole damn world for doing this to you. I saw so much pain and horror on that island and they weren't even demons. Men are just as evil as demons. It was men, just men that killed 503 people in this city to get vengeance for a wrong that had been done to them. You're not becoming a demon because you want to get revenge, because you want blood. That's human. I will tell you something else I understand that you aren't seeing. " Oliver started getting ready for a fight. He knew what he said next was going to trigger Sam. He had to see how Sam dealt with it. "Dean is in hell, he is being brutally tortured as we speak correct?" Oliver saw Sam's shoulders tighten up and the beer can in his hand started to get crushed as Sam clenched his fist around it.

"Yes he is." Sam grated out between his teeth.

" I know if I was a demon and I wanted to make Dean break. I wouldn't cut him, I wouldn't burn him, or disembowel him. It's much easier than that. I would just show him you, right now. Surrounded by beer cans wanting someone to kill you. Dean would probably ask for the knife and start in on anyone around him.. After all he failed to save you so what does it matter. " Sam's body convulsed like he had been electrocuted and he came at Oliver full force.

"FUCK YOU OLIVER!" were the only coherent words that made it out of Sam's mouth. The rest was screaming, soul rendering, screaming and he aimed right for Oliver's injured shoulder. He connected with a full force blow and pain shot through Oliver. He forced the pain away, let the blow knock him over and rolled away from Sam in an attempt to get some space between them. Sam wasn't having that. He grabbed Oliver's leg and started to pull him closer. Oliver kicked out with the other leg and nailed Sam in the arm hard enough to make his hand release out of reflex. Oliver got back on his feet and started to fight. There was no way he was just going to take shots, Sam was sober enough to fight well along with being enraged. There would be no passing out in 10 minutes like when he took out his anger on Diggle in the hotel room the night they found him. Sam wanted to kill him. It was in his eyes.

The fight started in earnest, Sam wasn't blindly throwing punches anymore either. He was hunting Oliver, he was moving fast and employing everything Oliver had shown him earlier that day. Oliver was slowed because of the injury and the blood loss so he resorted to dirty tricks. He kicked Sam's legs out from under him, Sam rolled back to his feet and kicked at Oliver who had misjudged the distance between them. Sam's kick landed on Oliver's chest and cracked a rib. That did it. Oliver let more of his feral side out, ignored the pain and landed a flying kick on Sam's face. Sam got his hands up fast enough to keep from getting knocked out but he flew back and landed on his back. Oliver closed the distance and nailed Sam in the ribs and the stomach and danced out of the way.

"Get up Sam. You're weak. If you had control you would have killed me by now. No wonder you and Dean have so many scars. You want me to end you. Fine I will but at least make it a challenge. "

Sam stood up "Funny how you're such a great fighter now. Less than two hours ago you were pinned to a wall with your own damn arrow. You wouldn't last a week on the road with Dean and I. Your whole no kill policy is pointless. What happens when Diggle and Felicity aren't around to save you? "

"I survived without back up before. I can do it again if need be. You however, you can't. The slightest thing reminds you of something and you snap. That will kill you in the end. " Sam launched another kick at Oliver who dodged it but Sam stole one of Oliver's moves. He followed the kick through and used the momentum to and step forward to close on Oliver and try to land a punch full on Oliver's face. Oliver saw it coming but the punch was coming on his injured shoulder side and he couldn't block it. As he tried to duck he lost his footing on a rock that turned over in the dirt. Sam saw the momentary loss of balance and just ran right into Oliver, tackling him and riding him right down onto the ground. Once Oliver was pinned he was in desperate straights. He only had one arm to block with and Sam started hammering at his head.

He heard footsteps from behind Sam and saw Felicity, her mouth wide open in shock and horror.

'OLIVER, SAM STOP!" she screamed. Sam twisted around with a rock he had grabbed that he was going to start beating Oliver with, saw her, snarled and threw the rock full strength at her. Oliver saw her throw her hands up, heard her cry out and then fall unconscious to the ground. Sam's twisting to look at Felicity had freed him up enough to move, and move he did.

The next thing Sam knew there were two immensely strong hands around his head and neck, twisting his neck just to the point of breaking. He heard Oliver's cold, cold voice in his ear.

"Move one muscle Sam and I will grant your wish to die. I'll take whatever rage or loss of trust that will cause with Felicity. So, if you want to die here's your chance. Choose quickly. She's bleeding over there and I am finding myself less and less interested in leaving you alive. "

Sam slowly relaxed.. He saw Dean's face again asking him why, why had he wasted the sacrifice he had made for Sam.

"Go to her. I won't move from this spot. " he said in a whisper. Oliver released him, fighting down the urge to kill Sam for attacking Felicity. He ran over to her. Her face was bleeding and so were her hands. She was still breathing. It looked like she got her hands up fast enough to deflect much of the rock. Oliver looked around for the rock and found it. It had jagged edges on it and they had cut deeply into her forehead as it flew by. Oliver ripped off his shirt, ripped it up and made a makeshift bandage around her head to try and staunch the blood flow. He snarled at himself, how had she gotten here? Why the hell hadn't Dig stopped her. He looked up and saw Dig's car. What the hell? He grabbed his phone and called Dig.

"Oliver what's up?"

"How the fuck did Felicity get your car?" Oliver snapped

'What? She said she was going to work on computer stuff, I went and watched some TV in another room. Why?" Dig asked

"She's where Sam and I are. We were having a heated conversation she came out from behind us and Sam threw a rock at her. Her head is bleeding. I'm bringing her back right now. " he hung up the phone. How the hell had she gotten Dig's keys? That didn't matter now. He shot a glare at Sam.

"You stay. You're not welcome in that house until I say otherwise. I came out here because Felicity begged me to. Once I heard you had been drinking again I figured you were a lost cause. She told me you were worth saving, she swore an oath that if I killed you or didn't help you she would leave. You knew it was her, you heard her voice, she called your name. You knew it was her and you threw that rock anyway. You're not a demon Sam. You've just given into your hate. "

Felicity started to speak " Oliver, no. We need to help him please." he didn't know if she was coherent or if Sam was just that much on her mind. He saw Sam stiffen in response to her words. He brushed some hair out of her face.

"For you, I will make one more try but it is up to him." Oliver whispered to her. He kept his eyes on her but he spoke to Sam.

"If you want to learn control and work through this, I will give you one more chance. If you come back to the house I will teach you. If you show up and survive the teachings the one you will have to thank is her. If you leave I will tell her you chose to give up." Then he picked her up gently and took her to the car, slid her into the seat and drove back to the house.