All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 10: Would Be Killer

Jacob and the heat of him lying next to me, had kept the bad dreams at bay once again. I'd been able to sleep peacefully. It was nice waking up to his warm body lying next to mine. His arms were still wrapped firmly around me and his gentle snores were comforting. He was so handsome when he slept. There was a peace that surrounded him, one that was never there during his waking hours because he had so much on his mind. Whether it was because of me, or because of his pack.

I worked my arm out from under his embrace and ran my hand along his cheek gently, memorizing every line that ran under my fingers. He smiled warmly, though his eyes were still closed. It was the silent connection working between us again.

"Good morning." I whispered.

His eyes flickered open and his arms pulled me tighter into his chest. His lips met my forehead, sending a warm shiver down my spine. It was an awkward position considering the position of my arm, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Morning." he answered, his dark eyes were adjusting to the dull gray glow of the morning. "I think I could get used to this." He motioned to the closeness of our bodies. He closed his eyes again and laid his head on his thick arm.

I giggled and kissed his neck, it was the only thing I could reach now that he'd tightened his hold on me. He had said exactly what I was feeling. I could happily do this every morning; waking up to his handsome face would never get old.

I relaxed into his arms and let myself doze. I was aware of everything around me, caught between sleep and consciousness. Jacob placed his warm cheek against mine and I could hear his breathing gaining rhythm again, he would be snoring soon. Rosalie had once compared his snoring to a chainsaw, but it was never that abrasive. There was a slight rumble as he pulled in breath and the release always sounded like a sigh. There was nothing abrasive about that. It was peaceful, homely even.

I was fighting having to get up for school. I could tell by the light outside that I was pushing my luck, but I really didn't want to move from my small piece of heaven. I was so comfortable. Our bodies sank comfortably into the bed pulling us closer together; as though gravity itself didn't want to see us separated, I was only too willing to oblige.

I heard the movements from outside my door, and I knew someone had noticed that I wasn't moving yet. I still refused to move, and there was a gentle tapping at the door before it was pushed open. I knew who was at my door her scent was familiar to me, and the gentle footfalls were so lithe they could only belong to one person.

"Ness sweetheart, you're going to be late for school if you don't get up." My mom's voice was quiet.

"Oh, alright." I groaned. Consciousness was finally taking control. "I'm up."

My mom's musical laughter filled the air before she disappeared through the door again. I lay awake for a while before making the move to get up. Jacob was still snoring quietly in my ear. He looked so peaceful I didn't want to disturb him just yet.

I was able to get out of his grasp without disturbing him, after a little work. His large frame took up most of the large bed, and as I looked back down at his sleeping form, I couldn't help but smile. He almost looked like a child stretched out across the bed the way he was. I was seriously considering just climbing back in bed with him and forgetting school altogether.

I sighed in frustration. I couldn't do that to Anna. She had some kind of quiz in her algebraic geometry class, and she hated going to school when I wasn't there. So I picked up some things and I jumped in the shower. Getting myself ready as quietly as I could as Jacob slept.

He was still asleep when I picked up my bag and headed to the door. With as much as he did lately, I couldn't justify waking him up. Running with his pack at night and spending mornings and evenings with me, it left little time for sleeping. Then there was his small mechanic business. I had absolutely no idea when he slept. Now he was running around the school trying to protect me from some unknown danger. I doubted he was sleeping at all. I figured I would let him catch up and I would drive myself. My car, an Audi TT, sat in the garage unused. It probably needed a good run. Jacob was too stubborn to use it when I offered.

My parents sat in the kitchen, talking quietly. I had a suspicion they were waiting for me.

"Morning," I sang, kissing them both on the cheek as I danced around the kitchen making myself breakfast. I made sure to eat more than I normally would. Not hunting last night had been a mistake. My throat was becoming more irritated. I had never left it this long before. Even the human food I consumed didn't last as long as it should, it would do until I could hunt tonight though.

"Nessie, how long has it been?" I should have known my dad would hear that.

"Just a little over a month."

"You have to take better care of your thirst than that."

"I know. I'll go tonight. I promise." I answered feeling irresponsible.

I knew better than to leave it so long, but being half human helped push the urgency of it out of my mind. Not that it was an excuse. I was hitting my limits and I knew it. I ate my breakfast quickly, enjoying the relief it afforded me. I knew that hunting tonight would bring me some kind of sordid pleasure. I craved blood more than human food, but my conscience never let me enjoy it. Taking down a deer would always flash some cartoon personification through my mind. It was irrational, and I knew that. Killing animals was the lesser of the two evils, but it didn't stop my human side from cringing away from it.

My eyes brushed over the clock on the microwave. I still had to pick up Anna. I kissed my parents goodbye hurriedly. I answered the question before they could ask where Jacob was. My mom understood she'd been nagging him to sleep a little more. I hopped out of the door and danced to the garage. I was late enough that I could really drive my car.

I enjoyed driving and times like these, when I was able to drive my little car, I wondered why I didn't do it more often. I could always drive to school and let Jacob take my car for the day. He may grumble about it for a while but he'd get used to it. The gentle humming of the engine was so much more agreeable than the slight spluttering of his rabbit. Although I would never say that to him, his Rabbit was his pride and joy, rebuilt from practically nothing. It was one of the bonds he'd had with my mother as well, he would often smile wistfully and add; 'If it hadn't have been for that connection, I would never have been led to you.'

I smiled as I shook off the memory, I was on Anna's street and a smile like that would most certainly raise questions. I pulled up outside Anna's house. She was already waiting for me on the porch steps; her smile widened as I eased to a stop. She loved the Audi.

"Where's Jacob?" She asked as she climbed into the car.

"I left him sleeping." I grinned. "I doubt he's sleeping with all this running he's been doing. I figured I'd leave him in bed."

"You're so lucky. What I wouldn't give to cuddle up to Seth at night."

"It's hot."

Anna's eyes widened and she snickered at my choice of words.

"Anna, you know what I mean."

"Oh, come on. Even you have to agree with the connotations of that sentence."

I laughed at that, and stepped on the gas. I had made up some of the time on the way to Anna's but I still had to get us there on time.

The rumors were still milling around the school. I had expected them to have calmed down now that the boy had shown up physically. Yet, I was once again disappointed. Especially when I started hearing the tenor of the whispers, they included me. It seemed Anna hadn't been the only one to notice his gaze following me. Considering all of the students had been watching him; it shouldn't have really surprised me they would notice too. I hung my head and walked through the crowd trying to ignore their insinuations. I should never have driven myself this morning. It seemed to add fuel to their fire.

"This is ridiculous." Anna sighed, leaning against my locker. "There is absolutely nothing to substantiate the stupid rumors. So the boy has a crush on you."

I appreciated her show of solidarity, especially when she was glaring at the sea of faces that were eyeing us curiously. Unfortunately, the seed had been planted. Whatever had started off this stupid rumor seemed to have been made all the more relevant by me showing up without my normal mode of transportation.

"I swear; you can't win in this place." Anna huffed. Her eyes narrowed at a group of freshman who were staring at me. "There's always something."

I had nothing to say. There was nothing I could say or do to convince the growing crowd otherwise. They had already formed their opinions. They had been talking about me behind my back since I started as a freshman. Nothing was going to change that, I didn't know why I thought this would. Anna pushed away from the locker and walked towards a group of girls that were whispering and giggling against the opposite wall.

"What is your problem?" She asked stopping about three feet from them.

"What's your problem, Anna?" Sarah Greenburg snapped stepping towards Anna.

I slammed my locker shut and grabbed Anna's hand, pulling her away from the little scene that was about to explode into something that would surely be reported to the principal. I didn't need Anna suspended for fighting, she was my only solace in this hell hole.

"That stupid . . ."

"Anna." I cut her off and pulled her towards English. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but this really isn't helping anything. I think we just need to ignore them; like we always do."

Anna nodded her agreement and followed me to our class. It didn't, however, stop her from glaring at every person that whispered as we passed.

I had been trying to block out the conversations surrounding me, but being stuck in a small room with everybody inside of it talking about the same thing, it was impossible to avoid. The way they giggled and leaned over the narrow walkways between desks made it so much more insulting. This was a new low. They were practically ignoring the teacher in order to trade stories.

The general consensus was that Matthew Derby liked me, I could handle that. I would just avoid him and make sure I was seen with Jacob more often. What did bother me was that it seemed as though he had asked people about me. Tommy hadn't been the only one to tell him about the Jacob incident; that was immediately obvious. It seemed as though people were beginning to speculate again, wondering whether I had done something with Luke Adams to make Jacob so jealous.

I turned my iPod on in my bag and turned it up to a volume only I could hear. I tried concentrating on the lyrics and the beat. I let it push out the sound of the voices around me. I really didn't want to hear anymore. Especially seeing as they were beginning to question why I'd driven myself today. I was conflicted about that emotion; what a silly thing to regret. Driving my own car should be a joy for me, not something that stirred feelings of dread because it would get the sheep speculating again. It was my car.

I needed to see Jacob. This day was growing worse the longer it progressed. I knew he would be in the woods around the school, still trying to protect me. I could imagine the string of curses that came from his mouth when he'd realized what I'd done. I smiled to myself thinking about the scene that had probably played out when he'd opened his eyes. I would head out to the forest at lunch, taking whatever food I wanted with me, because I sure as hell didn't want to sit in the cafeteria. I was also sure Jacob had skipped breakfast so he could get here.

Anna practically had to drag me to Biology. Again I sat in complete silence, listening to the music only my sensitive hearing could pick up. I was dreading Trig. It was the only class I had without Anna, and I knew it would be hard to ignore. Mr. Graham never paid much attention to what was going on behind him. He was oblivious for the most part. He stayed at the board working through problems that lost everyone else before the first degree had been factored in; he seemed to lose himself in the complex diagrams he drew.

I sat down in the back corner of the room where I always sat. Without Anna, I preferred to stay invisible to the rest of the class. Who was I kidding! We sat at the back in the rest of our classes for the very same reason. At least in this class everyone kept their distance. The chair next to me and the chair in front always stayed empty.

I pulled out my book with the homework I had already done. Mr. Graham gave us the homework first so he could plan his lesson around what he was giving us. I had perfected Trigonometry by the time I was four, so I ignored him and did the homework while he droned on. That's how I spent most of my classes . . . doing homework.

I pressed play on my iPod while I waited for the rest of the class to file in. Biology was only one corridor over so I was always here first.

I was doodling on my notebook drawing complex swirling patterns when I heard the chair next to me shift. It was unusual. I normally had the corner to myself. As I was about to look up, the smell hit me. It took a moment for it to register as it assaulted me silently.

My heart accelerated in my chest and my mouth watered. My throat caught fire as I turned my head to see where the smell was coming from. It was divine, mouth watering. Whatever it was, I wanted it.

Sat next to me was Matthew, his raven hair falling into his sapphire eyes as he appraised me. The scent, his blood, was the most culminating thing to ever assault my senses. I knew, sitting silently beside him, that I wanted the crimson liquid that ran through his veins. My hands trembled. The pen I was holding vibrated quickly, tapping against the table.

All I could see was the blue vein on his wrist as it circulated his life force through his body. My mind began conjuring images in my mind. I saw myself taking him into the forest. My teeth sinking into the skin that held the pulsing vein I could see thumping under his skin; the taste of the blood; so sweet. I closed my eyes with the visualization of his blood; so crimson as the oxygen touched it, sliding down my throat, easing the burn that already pounding in my throat.

I forced my eyes open hoping the visualization would leave with it, but all I could see was red. All I could taste the tip of my tongue sweetest blood I had ever smelled. The air was palpable with his scent. It hung around me willing me to take it. It was like a siren, singing a song in hopes of enticing me towards it.

If I could just wait until the end of class I could take him outside. He would agree to walk with me. The other sheep in the room have already given me that knowledge. It would be so easy, he couldn't refuse the offer. My entire body would will him to follow me.

I didn't think I could wait that long, the burning was taking control of me. It was maddening. My right hand reached out to the exposed skin in my neck and ran down gently to my collar bone. I needed this. My eyes roamed around the class. There were eighteen people in here, including Mr. Graham. It wouldn't take long to dispose of them, and then I could savor the taste. I would have to break their necks, I couldn't risk them screaming; it would interrupt my sanguine feast. Then, I could take my time. His fear would make him fight, but I was stronger than him. He wouldn't have a chance.

My tongue danced across my lips, my body leaned slowly towards him. Then my conscience kicked into over drive. What was I thinking? I couldn't do it, it would be murder.

I forced my body to straighten out. My hands dug into the desk, the wood parted under my fingers, groaning with the intensity of my hold. I just needed something to distract me while I took in a breath . . .

Surely blood that sweet was designed to be enjoyed? Why would he be placed in my life if it wasn't to satisfy the fire that burned me? Saliva slid down my throat coating the irritation, the liquid turned into lava as it touched the sensitive membrane causing the inferno. I needed his blood; I couldn't not drink from him.

If I'd of had any doubts of what I was, this was my moment of perfect clarity, my defining moment. I may only be half vampire, but my needs were obvious. I craved the substance that ran beneath his fair skin. A killer dwelled within me. Fight as I may, I couldn't deny giving it what it wanted. It was like a screaming animal within me, clawing at my humanity with talons as sharp as razor blades. It was cutting through my defenses as though they were tenuous pieces of paper.

Could I do this? Could I take the innocent life of the boy sitting next to me? No, I couldn't, it was murder.

I sucked in a breath. Big mistake- I could taste the blood in the air around me. Water pooled in my mouth as I once again considered drinking deeply from him. Just a taste that was all I would need. I could hear the animal in me, convincing me, berating me for trying to abstain. Was it right? This was all part of who I was; what I was. It was my nature, I couldn't deny myself this. The scent was too consuming.

His eyes met mine and he recoiled. I didn't care if he was scared, the adrenaline I could smell made it all the sweeter. I could hear his heart pounding in his chest, the rush of the blood as it flowed through his veins- calling and taunting me. I had to do this.

I tried to smile at him, but my throat was too coarse. The flames were licking, begging for me to take him so I could extinguish the fire. I could see in his eyes what he was seeing- my lips were pulled back over my teeth. My mouth was twisted into a sneer. The monster within me had come forward and I was staring it in the face. My mind and body felt like a battle field as I shrank away from the sight reflected in his eyes.

His eyes flickered around the room, and I lost the vision of the monster I had become. I was glad. I didn't need any reminders of this. I watched him closely; his eyes stopped at the front of the room, they were wide with his obvious fear. Yes, there were too many witnesses.

The heat clicked on in that one moment sending a wave of clear air to briefly fill my senses. What was I doing? This would surely bring the Volturi down on us all. I would be what they had predicted, a killer, and a risk. I would expose us all. I couldn't risk my family like this. My mouth snapped shut and I closed my eyes trying to gain control, but the loss of the sense made the over powering aroma too much. The air started recycling around the room, blowing the smell of him towards me.

There was no denying it, I wanted his blood.

I opened my eyes again; maybe I could just taste him, let my teeth brush against the soft membrane that covered the throbbing vein below the skin. I wasn't venemous; I could taste his blood and just drink a small amount. My tongue danced across my razor sharp teeth. The scent was pulling me in and I was using everything I could to fight it. Was it worth the fight? The fire?

I cut off my air and tried to clear my head. My body was shaking. The memory of the smell was just as painful, and I couldn't hold my breath forever. I was partially human and I needed oxygen.

I sat holding my breath. My conscience was still foggy in my mind. I was fighting with myself. I wanted this so badly. I wanted the release only his blood could give me. My lungs tightened in my chest as my air ran out completely. I fought my natural compulsion to drag in the air. I was regaining some of myself. I couldn't breathe in, I couldn't. It was tainted by his smell.

Just breathe. My subconscious screamed, he'd done nothing but made my life hell since he arrived. I let my hands drop from the desk and dig into my legs. I bowed my head, turning it from him, dragging what little air I could, but the taste was surrounding me. The wall of defenses was knocked down and my resolve vanished. I had to have him.

My eyes darted around the room, picking out the weakest and the strongest. Mr. Graham would have to go first; he would raise some kind of alarm. No one would notice. It would be quick, painless. Some may catch me, but it would be too late. I could silence them quickly.

Matthew shifted in his seat next to me sending a fresh wave of his delicious scent over me. I took a deep, exaggerated breath, sucking it in through my nose. He would taste so sweet. My eyes closed again as my body pulled me towards him. Maybe I could deal with the others later. The burning was too much, and I needed the sweet release from the fire.

He turned again, his eyes meeting mine. I worked at my smile this time. I could use my natural arsenal of weapons; my beauty had been such a hindrance until now. I didn't have to kill these innocent people, not really. I could talk to him; convince him to come with me. He couldn't say no to me. He wouldn't. Hadn't everyone been saying he had a crush on me all day?

Could I go that far? My conscience nagged, pulling me from the moment again. I felt the dividing line in my head, the good versus the evil. There were so many questions swirling but each side battered them down, begging me to listen to them. If the situation hadn't been so dire I would have laughed. It was like a cartoon, the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other. I couldn't really focus on either, and they shouted; the sounds becoming a blurred line of introspect. I just wanted the pain to go away, the burning and the pull. I wanted it to stop. I needed it to stop. Then take what you want, I told myself. If it would stop all of this confusion it would be worth it.

I sucked in another breath and was once again assaulted with the smell of his perfect blood. My body shuddered lightly at the pure joy it brought with the pain, because in those veins was sweet release. Instantly the monster won inside of me. There was no ignoring that scent. My throat was calling his name silently. It would stop the pain; it would make it all go away. There was never any choice other than this one.

I leant forward again, my eyes rolled a little as the scent became over bearing. The flames lapped at me, begging me to satiate them.

"Matthew, right?" I asked. My voice was razor sharp and silken. It danced in the air between us, hypnotizing him.

Matthew nodded eagerly.

"How would you feel about taking a walk with me?" I whispered as my bell tones washing his face with the sweet scent of my breath.

"N . . . n . . . now?"

I nodded with as much femininity as I could muster. I pressed my bottom lip out. "I'm bored."

Matthew's head bobbed up and down in agreement. I pushed out from the desk, in a move to stand.

"Nessie!"

The door to the classroom had been thrown open and stood in the center of the room was my dad, his eyes wild and full of pain. Close behind him was Alice and my mom. My body began curling into a crouching position. If they honestly believed I would give up Matthew for them to drink . . .

Before I could finish the thought, my father had his arms around me. His voice was quick in my ear.

"Hold your breath, Ness. We're getting you out of here."

"No." My voice was a growl, but my father's arms were tight around me. Alice came up close and pulled my bag from the table, and my mother was talking to the teacher. I was trying to keep them away from Matthew, from the sweet, sweet scent of Matthew. The voice in the back of my mind snarled. No, I couldn't let this go and leave him here.

Fight!

My dad pulled me into his arms and walked from the room, my eyes never left Matthew. I tried to struggle but it was futile, my dad's arms pinned my limbs against me as he rushed from the school. The further we got, the more complacent I became. When the fresh air hit me, my mind became my own. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. The heat dragged my conscience to the forefront of my mind, slapping me with renewed perspective.

I was going to kill. I had been in the motions of leading him to his death. I was a murderer, a cold blooded murderer.

My chest filled with stabbing pain, it was caused by the loss of me- the realization that I was a monster. There was no denying what had just happened, or what would have happened if my family hadn't intervened. I would have taken his life, with no thought, no regard. The pain in my throat soared to new levels as I visualized my plan, but my mind recoiled. I was disgusted with myself. I didn't deserve to exist. Everything my family had worked for, everything they had taught me had just been destroyed. I was still a blood thirsty animal.

My dad sat me in the passenger side of the Volvo and ran to the other side, quickly climbing in.

"Your keys, Ness."

"In my bag," I squeaked.

My dad rolled his window down and called to Alice and my mom who were emerging from the school.

"Take Nessie's car home, her keys are in her bag."

The two of them nodded and headed towards the car. I watched them; I knew I should feel something, but I was numb. I was empty. I didn't deserve a family after what I had just done.

"Ness, please. Calm down."

I looked across the car at my dad. He was already driving, but I hadn't even noticed.

"It's alright. You didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart."

'I almost killed someone.' My voice was not my own, and words had escaped me so I thought my answers. I couldn't find my voice. It was locked away with my human emotions. The same emotions that should have stopped me from even thinking about his blood let alone going after it.

"I've been where you are. I know what you're going through."

I tried to fight the burning inside of me to look for recognition of what he was talking about. Nothing was making much sense to me anymore, so I stared at him blankly.

"He was your singer, Ness. That's how your mother was to me when I first met her. She called to me. Her blood was always taunting me, almost daring me to take just one taste, just one small taste. Your memories have strengthened that memory for me. I forgot how potent the first time could be. It consumes you, drags you under."

'La tua cantante.' the thought was bitter in my head. Yet another reminder of the Volturi.

"You're stronger than that, Ness. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you are. If it had been any other vampire in that room with their singer, they would have taken him. There would have been no thoughts, no doubts. It would have been instant."

"How did you know?" My voice cracked violently with the sob that followed the words.

"Orion had another dream. She warned me it would be soon, that you would hunt with an audience. Alice saw the decision you made when he sat next to you. We got here as soon as we could."

I pulled my knees onto the chair and started rocking gently. The images of the plans marched through my head like an invading army, the monster inside my head laughed at my weakness and snarled at my failure to free it. I wrapped my arms around my head, trying with everything inside of me to block the visions. I was a monster; there was no compassion, no humanity inside of me. I was a cold killer, and I hated myself.

"No, Ness." My dad pleaded with me. "Do not let this defeat you. You are a pure soul, but you have to understand that a singer tests the very core of you. You have come out stronger, not weaker. Fight this, Ness."

"I haven't got the strength to fight it." I admitted shamefully. "If you hadn't of shown up…I would have killed him, and I would have enjoyed it. I have no doubt about that. I could taste him in the air; the fire in my throat was more than I've ever endured. There would have been no stopping me. Not even my humanity, the blood thirsty voice drowned that out easily. Maybe you should have let the Volturi destroy me."

My dad slammed on the brakes throwing me into the dash. The Audi swerved around us, missing us by inches.

"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN, RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN." His voice was a roar, made louder by the small confined space. A growl ripped from his throat as his narrow eyes burnt holes in me.

I swallowed quickly in fear, and guilt washed over me. My parents had put their lives on the line to save me, and I had just thrown that in his face. I was more than a monster, I was pure evil. My dad started driving again; the silence was like a sheet of ice, cold, sharp and hard. It stayed like that for a while, and my thoughts just became more disgusted. Why couldn't I fight it?

"Ness," My dad's voice was calmer again, back to the velvet. "We are what we are; there will always be a part of you that craves what you've never had. But your overwhelming guilt is proof enough that you are human. You're never without your humanity."

I touched his face gently and showed him every thought, every feeling, every emotion that had run through me in the class room. I had convinced myself to kill that boy, and at the time, I hadn't even cared that I would take his life. I hadn't had the slightest remorse at the thought of killing all of those children in the room, just to satiate my own blood lust. I was a monster.

"If only I could show you my own experience. It was just as strong as yours, if not more, because I have drank from a human, and I remembered it when I smelt her that first time. The burning was amplified. I considered killing just like you had, but I was able to hold my breath." he sighed. "Something you can't do for a long period of time."

"I tried." I whimpered gently, burying my head in my knees.

"I saw, sweetheart." he sighed. His hand gently smoothed my hair on my head.

The disgust I had with myself was overwhelming and I let myself cry. I cried for the boy I almost killed. I cried for the class full of innocent people I almost slaughtered. I cried for Jacob, because I had let him down. He had imprinted on the one thing he was born to hate. I cried because I had let my family down. I was worthless.

I knew my dad could hear my thoughts, I could see small twinges of pain as the words pounded against my skull. He let me wallow though. He knew that I needed to be angry, that I needed to place blame on myself. Trying to appease me was only making it worse. There was no justification for what I had done.

We pulled into the garage and I climbed out. My mom was waiting with open arms, her face mirrored my pain. She wasn't judging me like I deserved to be judged, she was sympathizing.

"What happened, sweetheart?"

I didn't want to say it out loud. I didn't want to tell her that I was like the monsters she'd tried to protect me from. I couldn't see that disappointment in her eyes, it would crush me; even if I did deserve it. So I raised my hand and placed it on her cheek. I replayed the moment he'd sat next to me to the moment they entered the room.

Her gasp pierced the silence that surrounded us; her dainty hand flew to her neck. I dropped my hand in shame. I was afraid to meet her eyes.

"Edward?" her voice was slightly strained.

"Yes, love." He sounded ashamed.

"Every day?"

"Yes."

I looked up at my eyes flickered between them. Realization hit me and stung. I had just shown my mom what my father had gone through everyday to be with her. He had managed to do what I couldn't; he'd fought against his instinct, against the pain of the fire so he could love her. So he could be with her. I would never have that strength. I had no motivation to save his life. I was in love with Jacob.

I ran from the room, my black mood was tarnishing everything I touched. I just wanted to be alone.

A/N: Some of you were very right in your assumptions lol; but this gets a little more complex as time goes by. Let me know what you think, I would live to know how I did with the singer situation.

The song for this Chapter is WOULD BE KILLER by GNARLS BARKLEY :)

Sorry it took so long to upload; I have been doing the family thing; always fun!

Thanks to Orioncat, for being an awesome beta and getting this to me before her vacation :)

Vicki; thank you for everything, seriously you are awesome . . .

Thanks for the alerts and Faves and . . . THANK YOU TO THE REVIEWERS WHO ARE SERIOUSLY AWESOME; I HATE TO SOUND SUPER MUSHY, BUT YOU REALLY DO HELP WITH THE WHOLE WRITING PROCESS. I LOVE TO WRITE, BUT KNOWING SOMEONE IS READING IT ADDS THAT LITTLE BIT OF PRESSURE TO PERFECT IT; SO I THANK YOU. YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME AND COMPLETELY ROCK!!!

TALK TO YOU SOON - BIG HUGZ - L -