Author's Note: i would like to thank the following, awesome people for reviewing! ; Kami-Inu(lol, i love your reviews, they're so in depth ^^;), Nikotehfox, Kiwi wiki, Vampire-chan, deathskeith, KittyBlue(i like pantsless naru-chan, too), realityfling18, Back-up'Girl, sasukexnaruto4ever (yes, 4ever and everrr. ^^;), ooxshinobixoo, CrystalSearcher, Broken Sexed Up Bloody Kitten, Kyorose, kitsunelova, and wolf'sraingreatestfan.

all of your quessstionns will be answered soon. i'm really glad you guys like it. it's the most reviews i've gotten evrrr! arigatouuu!

oh, and also, the bajillions of people who put this story in their alerts and all that, i love you too! kyahh!

-Squeak

Disclaimer: kishikishikishi

Sasuke watched as Naruto tucked his tail in between his legs like a dog. Not that he had a tail to tuck, it was just the priceless expression that warped his face. His eyes widened and his mouth formed a round little 'o' shape, as if he was about to scream, "oh shit" at the top of his lungs. He furrowed his blond eyebrows. Adorable.

Not like Sasuke thought /he/ was adorable, really. It could have been anyone making that face. That's just the word that came to mind when he saw it.

/I need to stop trying to make excuses for myself./

At that moment 'Baa-chan' stepped out of the gloom into the harsh glow of a flickering street lamp. She stood with a hand on her hips, long, blonde pig-tails cascading down over her immensely proportioned breasts.

"Baaaaaa-channnnnnnnnn," he heard Naruto wail, wriggling in nothing but a t-shirt and sneakers in the middle of the sidewalk. "Don't scare me like that."

"Where have you been, retard? You promised you'd come visit, and what do I get? FOUR YEARS OF NOTHING."

"But..But Baa-"

"DON'T BAA-CHAN ME YOU FREAK OF NATURE. YOU'RE A WASTE OF FUCKING HUMAN LIFE."

"Baaaaa-"

"No phone calls! No letters! No nothing! And this is where I find you!??! HALF NAKED WITH SOME GUY YOU PROBABLY JUST MET??"

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

"AND WHO ARE YOU!?"

Sasuke felt like he had walked into a pretty bad situation that he really wanted no part of, considering he was wearing a pair of tacky orange pants filled with ridiculous rips and no shirt.

"Uchiha Sasuke-"

"When did you meet shithead over there??" 'Baa-chan' snapped, indicating the blond that was currently shrouded in shadow, making strange noises. 'Baa-chan, baabaabaaaaa-chan'.

"Oh, you mean Naruto-Dobe? About a week ago."

She smirked at the insult.

"I like him! And it's been over a week!! Wow, you're on a roll, Uzumaki!"

"Baa-"

"Shut up Naruto. Won't you both come inside for tea?"

Sasuke nodded briefly and watched 'Baa-chan' pick up Naruto by the scruff of the neck and firmly pinch his ear between her forefinger and thumb.

"Stoppit hag. I can walk. GETTTT offfffff."

Sasuke could do nothing else but follow.

--

Sasuke wasn't sure how this conversation would go. They had just settled in for tea, sipping lightly at hot cups. Tsunade, (as she was called, after Sasuke finally learned what her name was), had poured quite a bit of sake into all of their drinks. Sasuke didn't mind. He supposed it would help him loosen up.

"So," Tsunade began, trying to initiate a conversation. Naruto was nervously drinking his sake-tea, and then pouring more, all the while adding more sake to the concoction. He had had three cups already.

"You both seem to have something on your mind, and I know you weren't here by chance..."

"That old hag doesn't miss a thing!" Naruto blurted drunkenly, taking a swig of sake from the bottle.

"Fuck you, kid!" the rather young looking woman growled, snatching the bottle and taking a swig herself. Sasuke found it endearing.

She continued.

"Can I ask YOU," she said, aiming the question at Sasuke. He seemed more coherent. "What's the trouble?"

Before Sasuke could speak, drunk little Naruto decided to launch right into the story.

"Baa-chan, Baa-chan, I'll tell you! One day I was pretty fucked up and I had seen Sasuke earlier in the grocery store because he was following me 'cause I'm so good looking. So I got pretty fucked up and went to the club and was dancing and stuff and then I felt sick so I came outside and threw up and then I looked up and he was there so we had sex but guess what! BAA-CHANNN YOU'LLL NEVER GUESS! He morphed into a weird demon thing and fucked me up the butt! It was really painful and I thought I was gonna die because I was bleeding like buckets of blood in an alleyway but then he came back because he felt bad. So then we fucked a couple more times because I decided I wanted to and then something really weird happened and it turns out that I'm housing a nine-tailed demon fox inside me named kyoobert or something and then we needed to go find you because I knew you probably knew about it because of all those tests and stuff. BUT THENNN we decided to have sex because something happened to Sasuke and it scared me but I can't remember what it was right now. So then when I got all upset about Sasuke I felt really weird and then I turned into like, THE COOLEST THING EVER. Like a demon thing. Oh, and I'm Sasuke's cat."

There was a long silence. Tsunade was staring at Sasuke, Sasuke looking incredulously at Naruto as if he'd just been payed ten dollars to eat Kiba's dog shit.

Tsunade flopped forwards and held her head in her hands.

"So you know?"

Naruto stopped drinking and turned to look at her.

"You knew too? But Baa-chan, why didn't you ever tell me?" Naruto looked hurt. Sasuke felt his heartstrings twitch.

"I couldn't. It wouldn't make sense. Demons and Angels aren't supposed to exist like this, let alone exist at all. I wanted you to live this life happily and not have to worry about releasing the Kyuubi inside of you...I wanted you to be free."

Sasuke interjected.

"Angels? What about angels..."

"Sasuke, you know every dark side needs light. Yin and yang."

Sasuke swallowed. He felt it now. There was a presence that was hard to sense when he met her, but now the room was filled to the brim with it. It was like a sickly sweet perfume, almost intoxicating. And Naruto was even more drunk off of it.

"You-"

"Yes, me. I'm an angel. A messenger from God."

Her words lingered in the air along with the thickness of her aura.

"I came to earth many years ago, to walk among the living. But more specifically, to find Naruto."

"But...hic...Why, Baa-chan??" Naruto slurred. Sasuke had almost forgotten he was there.

"The last, great apocalyptic war occurred when the Kyuubi escaped. The Devil sealed it away inside of Naruto, not to end the destruction of mankind, but to keep it in his possession. He needs that demon. With it he can crush Heaven, as well as imprison humanity. He's just waiting until the time is right. God sent me and two others to watch over you, to try to find a way to get the demon out of your body so you can live a normal life, and die a normal death. The problem is, you are the only person on earth who can contain the demons power. We never found out why, and we never found out /how/ to get it out of you."

Sasuke shifted in his seat. He could feel the harshness of her strength burning his cold skin. Naruto was staring stupidly off into space.

"Sasuke."

He turned to her, almost shyly.

"Do you love Naruto?"

"What?" Sasuke responded, his voice small and constricted.

"Do you love Naruto?" She repeated, slightly irritated. Her patience was thin.

"I-"

"Do you love him or not!?" Tsunade snapped, finished with Sasuke's inherent 'beating around the bush.'

He looked over at Naruto furtively. Blue eyes were locked on him, beautiful and aching. He took a deep breath.

"I do."

He saw the corners of Naruto's mouth twitch into a contented smile. Did that mean Naruto loved him too?

"If you love him, " Tsunade went on, "then you'll protect him. You can't let the Devil get his hands on him. He'll die."

"But, Tsunade-sama, he's my master. He owns me."

"Nobody owns you but you, Sasuke."

Listening to her words, Sasuke nodded, and felt new purpose grow in his charred, blackened heart. His eyes flashed black and red.