This is the next episode. It has less crack and is a little more dark than normal. Prepare for insanity in the next one though.

After their lively discussion about double necked guitars and smoked cheese the Li family with Haruhi ate dinner and went to bed. Well… They would have if not for Haruhi's stubbornness. "Kyon! I am not sleeping on the couch again!" The girl screamed in his face.

"Well, you're not sleeping in my parents bed again either." Replied Kyon.

"Why the hell not?" Haruhi asked.

"Well you see… It's because they're already asleep in their bed. CLAMP characters need their twelve hours of sleep."

"Well then it's decided!" Haruhi said in a loud tone. "As Brigade Chief I order you to let me sleep in your room!" This sentence caused Kyon to blush a considerable amount. He stuttered a little but that only aggravated Haruhi more. "What kind of ideas are you having?" She asked him in an annoyed, yet somewhat flustered tone.

"Uh, nothing! I swear!" He lied. He was thinking but those thoughts scared him more than they turned him on. They still turned him on though; the blush on both of their faces was enough evidence.

"Wh-Whatever! You just sleep on the couch then!" The genki girl stuttered out as she stomped off to the chore boy's room. He sighed and decided to get comfortable on his couch. 'This is gonna be a long night.' He thought to himself as he turned on the TV. It was playing an advertisement for World Wrestling Entertainment saying that there was going to be a live event at the North High culture festival. "Figures." Kyon said to himself sarcastically. "I hope Haruhi doesn't get anymore funny i… Aw hell. She's going to anyway." He then started to doze off…

MEANWHILE, AT THE DOOR TO THE TSURUYA MANSION…

Mitsuru Kijiro sighed. She knew that this wasn't exactly the best group of people around, but she didn't have much of a choice. She wanted more screen time and knew she wasn't going to get it the easy way after Minato killed himself. She rang the doorbell. A few minutes later the door opened revealing three girls with green hair. "Wes had been expecting You's nyoro." Said Tsuruya as she gestured the red haired woman into her mansion. She noticed that there was a slightly evil yet easygoing at the same time, aura around everything.

"I have our new recruit nyoro!" She said as she grabbed Mitsuru's shoulders from behind and pushed her in view. Taniguchi started breathing heavily, Kunikida and Fujiwara nodded in approval, Kuyoh didn't respond at all, Kyoko and Hiruko were playing Street Fighter IV and didn't notice, Rika just smiled and said "Nipah~!" Rena grouped her and claimed that she was going to take her home. Shion was laughing… At some random sitcom playing. Mion, Keiichi, and Satoko were the only ones who were actually looking her over. "So… What do You's guys say? Is she megas awesome or what?"

"Hell Yeah!" Said Taniguchi as he was grinning.

"I have no objections." Said Fujiwara. "Me neither." Said Kunikida. Everyone else seemed to approve of their new recruit. Except for Kyoko and Hiruko, the former was too busy kicking the latter's ass with Ken.

"Then its decided nyoro! Welcome to the Ehh…" Tsuruya stuttered as she relised that her group had no name. "Why don't we just go by the RIP Cartel?" Fujiwara asked. "I mean, it's not like this is the only story that makes a reference to that fanfic."

"Sounds good nyoro! Welcome to the RIP Cartel Mitsuru!" She said as she put her new recruit in a headlock for no good reason. 'This is gonna be a long ten to twenty chapters' Mitsuru thought to herself as she was weakly struggling against the green haired heiress.

INSIDE KYON'S HEAD…

Kyon was opening his eyes… and he noticed that he found himself in the Velvet Room… Again. This time there were five other occupants besides himself. From his left to the right he noticed Naru, Tempra, Igor, The school human services department manager Karasuma, and the channel sixty-nine weatherman Sho Minamoto.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room, Kyon." Said Igor in his normally calm voice. "I'm sure that you've been acquainted with Miss Naru, and Miss Tempra." He motioned to the two women to his right. "And I'm sure you've heard of Karasuma, and Sho over here." He said as he motioned to the two on his left. "This time we are all here to warn you of something dire… Except Miss Naru. She just wanted to tell you something real quick. Go ahead Miss Naru."

"I'm sorry about my husband trying to blow up your house Kyon. I called him earlier and told him that you and Haruhi were okay. He calmed down a little and said something weird about CLAMP characters and then hung up." Naru said.

"It's okay Miss Naru." Kyon said. "Now what's going on?"

"It seems that the showdown's rules have changed significantly Kyon." Said Tempra. "For starters… There's more than one group opposing the SOS Brigade now. I found out about another one. One that just decided on their name about five minutes ago. They are the RIP Cartel."

"Really? I was going to warn him about another group Tempra." Said Karasuma. "This one different though. They, just like the first group that will oppose you, have no clue that you are enemies. They just simply go by the Theater Club and have fewer members than the rest of the groups at the moment. Their leader could possibly the most formidable out of al four though… She just doesn't know about it yet."

"Well unlike those two who have informed you in an addition of unfriendlys, I am here to add to the knowledge that will be useful soon." Said Sho. "Listen up ya son of a digit. There are a lot of zetta freakazoids honing into the school festival. You gotta forget about everything you know about anything! Otherwise your brainpower will go into the negative regions."

"Huh?" Kyon said, sounding even more confused than the fan base was after seeing that Emiri Kimidori got her own character CD despite her three minute appearance. "Can I get a translator?" He said sarcastically.

"No." Said Igor. "But you can have…this!" He said as he motioned Kyon back to the world of reality.

Kyon noticed that he wasn't in the living room, sleeping on the couch. He noticed that he was in his bed, wearing only boxers, and sleeping next to a certain brigade chief, who wasn't wearing much either. "Damn you Igor." He thought to himself. Then, his worst fears were relised. Well, besides being assaulted in the middle of the night by a chainsaw wielding Santa Claus. Because said brigade chief was opening her eyes…

First she opened her eyes a little. Then they widened when she saw who was in the bed next to her. Then she screeched. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" She threw him off of the bed and covering herself up with the blanket. "K-Kyon. Wh-What are y-you doing you…" She was about to finish but Kyon was running for the door. For some reason the door wouldn't budge. He knew damn well what was coming next "…PERVERT!!!!" She screamed as she charged at the sandy haired cynic. She grabbed him by the throat since there was no tie and threw him at the window. For some reason the window, which would've broken normally didn't even crack as Kyon was repelled back at the scantly clad girl. He landed on top of her with both of his hands pining her to the ground.

"F-fine. J-just make it quick." She stuttered with tears in her eyes.

"N-no. Haruhi it's not like that!" He said, as he hastily got off of the brigade chief. "The creepy old man who lives in my head put me here." Kyon said, still panicking. "I was even wearing more than just my boxers when I went to sleep. I swear!"

"F-fine. J-just get out of here so I can get dressed." She said as she motioned to the door. He tried to comply but the door still wouldn't budge. He also noticed that it wasn't locked. "Um Haruhi? My door wont budge."

"What are you talking about?" Haruhi said, her completion returning somewhat as she went to the door. She tried opening it too but it still wouldn't budge. "Wh-what's going on?" Her complexion left her again as she started to panic a little. "F-fine! Just look away while I get dressed." She looked around the ground where she left her clothes and saw nothing there. "What happened to my clothes?"

Kyon was looking in his closet and was just as shocked as Haruhi. "My clothes are gone too. All of them."

They both started to panic a little. Granted, Kyon couldn't help but be turned on a lot by this but he was a seventeen-year-old guy. Haruhi, on the other hand was getting desperate. "Wh-what are we going to do Kyon?"

Kyon was about to answer that but noticed something was off. For one, even though it is supposed to be morning there was only a pale blue light coming from the window. Also it started to get fairly cold for some reason. "I don't know. Why is it cold all of a sudden?" After he said that it started to get colder still. After a few minutes they were both shivering and they could see their breath. "Q-quick the blanket!" Kyon said with his teeth clattering. He went to the bed and noticed that the blanket was gone. Nowhere to be found. "F-fuck. What are we supposed to do now?" He said with his teeth still clattering.

"F-fine! I guess I have no choice." She stuttered out as she grabbed on to the cynic out of nowhere. "Eh?" Kyon stuttered out. "Oh I get it. Sharing our body warmth right?" He said as he noticed that he warmed up a little.

MEANWHILE, AT THE DOOR OUTSIDE KYON'S ROOM…

"Urk." Syaoran grunted out after trying to kick his sons door open. "It just bounced off. Hey Sakura, can you do anything about this?" He asked.

"Not alone, I can't." Then she heard music by Drowning Pool playing downstairs. "Can you go answer Kyon's phone? I'll try to think of something."

"Okay." He said and went down the stairs. When he got to the living room he saw his daughter digging around the stuff that Kyon was forced to leave behind before he got in his position. She brought the phone to her father. "I'm going to go play with my sledgehammer now!" She said as she ran off. Syaoran decided to answer the phone.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Who is this?" He heard a feminine voice that was devoid of emotion from the other line.

"It's Syaoran, Kyon's father." He answered.

"I see. An emergency has come up. Requesting permission to warp to your location." She asked him.

"Huh? What do you mean by that?" He said sounding confused.

"Accept or Deny." She answered.

He let a sigh after hearing that. "Fine… Accept. But why ar…" He was going to finish but was interrupted by the sudden appearance of two girls in high school uniforms. "What the…" Demonic sounding bells and the lights going out for a minute then cut him off. Then a third figure appeared, this one much scarier looking. "Wh-what's going on?" He stuttered.

"We have come to solve your problem." Said The Undertaker in a demonic sounding voice. "Show us to your sons room."

"O-okay." He stuttered out in fear as he led the demonic figure and the two girls up the stairs. When they got there they saw something weird. Sakura dressed in what looked similar to Mikuru's combat waitress uniform with an odd looking staff in one hand and a card in the other. "Is that a Yu-Gi-Oh! card?" He asked.

"Yeah. I figured it could work." She then got a look at the three figures behind her husband. "Are they aliens?" She asked.

"That is one way we can be designated." Said Yuki who stepped from behind the two. She then examined the barrier. She launched a kick at the door but it didn't even seem to make an impact. "It seems that no form of physical attack can work on this barrier. However if I were to combine my data manipulation with her magic than it is possible that the barrier will break." She paused for a minute. "There is a high possibility that something has happened inside the barrier. We must hurry." She then motioned to Sakura. "Please proceed."

Sakura then lifted the card up above her head and let go of it, the card floating mid-air. "Release!" She raised her staff and the card started to glow. Then the glow grew in size and brightness until it was blinding. Then a large blue creature that looked like a Chinese style dragon with icicles around its body. "I am Brionic, Dragon of the Ice Barrier." He said in a strong sounding tone. "So… What's up?" He said still in that tone.

"It is requested that you use your attack on the barrier. I will manipulate your attack data so it will lift the barrier."

"Huh? Can you speak English? Or Japanese? Or whatever language we're supposed to be speaking?" Asked the ice dragon.

"Just do it." Said Syaoran, Emiri, and the Undertaker at the same time. All except Emiri sounding irritated.

"Fine. Fine I gotcha." He then started to take in a deep breath as Yuki was speaking at inhuman speeds. He let out a roar that was so loud even the three aliens in the room covered their ears. Not to mention that thanks to Yuki's data manipulation, the roar sounded like it came from a Vocaloid. A DRAGON VOCALOID!!! After a few minutes Syaoran had recovered enough to try opening the door, Brionic was lurking right behind him for some reason.

He turned the doorknob and opened the door. He saw the two inside, cuddling each other for warmth. "Eh? Sorry! Don't mind me!" He slammed the door and walked off. Brionic was still at the door.

"Hey I think we can get out of this godforsaken room now!" Haruhi yelled as she let go of Kyon and went to the door. She opened it and saw a large Ice Dragon staring at her. "Hello." The dragon said to her.

"……………Hi" She said awkwardly as she looked at the large dragon. She then slammed the door shut. "Kyon! There's a dragon blocking our path! As Brigade Chief I order you to vanquish the dragon!" She said looking even sillier because she was only clad in bra and panties.

"Ehh. Okay." Said Kyon as he walked up to the door. He opened it and saw that Brionic was still there. "You're not going to slam the door on my face like that girl did are you?" The dragon asked.

"No. You're not going to eat us are you?" He asked the dragon.

"Nah. By the way, am I interrupting your good time with your girl over there?" Brionic asked in a sarcastic tone.

"Nope. Can we get out now?" He asked.

"Sure… You just have to answer my riddle!" The dragon chuckled. "Nah. You don't have to answer a riddle. Just be sure to be nicer to people addicted to math. Oh, and could you find your mom's Clow Cards? I'm tired of being called for menial tasks like breaking down barriers, or fending off yanderes." He said as he vanished.

"Hey Haruhi. The dragon's vanquished. You can come out now." He said sarcastically.

"Yeah right. I saw you talking to that dragon like you were aquatinces." They both walked out. They saw that Syaoran and Sakura were standing to the side, blushing. Yuki stood there, looking like it was natural, and The Undertaker gave his 'Your bullshit does not amuse me' look. And Emiri had a faint blush as she also stood to the side. It-it's not what it looks like! I swear!" Haruhi said with a fairly red glow on her face.

"He was transported to the room last night wearing nothing but boxers. Then all articles of clothing besides the one you were wearing were confiscated. Then a barrier was created to seal the both of you inside." The Deadman spoke up. "Finally the barrier had a side effect, reducing the tempeture in the room to freezing numbers."

"I see. Who did this?" Asked Syaoran.

"It is a mystery. However the person who transported the boy and the one who did the rest are two different culprits." The Undertaker said. "It seems that the latter's intention was to lock her in alone and kill her via frostbite. If it weren't for the actions of the former than we wouldn't be here in time and she would've died already." Haruhi looked very frightened after hearing this. Especially from someone like The Undertaker.

"You'll have to borrow some of our clothes while we try to find the stuff you packed." Emiri spoke up. She then spoke in that inhumanly fast speed and tone until Haruhi found herself wearing the school uniform. "I modified it so it would fit you."

Kyon then went to the living room to retrieve his stuff and got dressed in the bathroom because his room seemed like a bad place to be. After getting dressed he went to the living room where everybody was.

"You still need additional members for your band Miss Suzumiya?" Emiri asked.

"Yeah." She replied in a somber tone. She was still recovering from that ordeal after all.

"I can play drums. Perhaps I may join?" The shy looking girl asked.

Haruhi's mood brightened up a little. "Sure! I think we have a full band now!" She said as she grabbed her Zanpakto from the corner. "I'm not going anywhere without this guy anymore!"

"Yeah. You know you need me baby." Said Atomsk in Haruhi's head.

"I must go now." The Undertaker said as the bells sounded again and he vanished.

"Kyon! Let's find the bastard who almost got us killed and send him straight to hell!" She exclaimed as she pointed ahead.

"Right." He said.

MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE ELSE…

"What kind of bastard tries such an underhanded trick!" Yelled a blue haired man in frustration. "When I confront someone, I do it face to face like a real man!"

"Do you have any ideas bro?" Asked a smaller blue haired boy.

"I dunno. Ryoko! You got any ideas?" He asked the blue haired girl standing next to him.

"I can't think of anybody. Perhaps now would be a good time to go there ourselves?" She replied.

"Sounds like a plan to me. Now. To go to North High and let the presence of the mighty Kamina and his Gurren Brigade be known!"

-Anna no Issho Datta no Ni starts playing-

Until next time

(Tag Out)