Guest – A 9.75, I will gladly and proudly take that! And a cute-o-meter definitely sounds like a thing I want to be on board with!

AstronSoul – Hey girl, thanks! Chivalry definitely isn't dead, and Willow loves taking advantage of that. There is definitely an 'I love you' on the horizon…give it a chapter or five ;)

Missocki – I understood her holding back because of confusion etc etc but I agree, sharing the love is much better! And I like your description of Willow! I think Tara would agree, bonkers but awesome :P

QueenPhoenix08 – Willow is definitely protective of her Tara! And she definitely isn't keen on strange men pawing her.

Errik's angel – Glad you enjoyed it! Definitely good things to come…have to get a couple of less-than-good things out of the way first though!

Dirty Tube Socks – I take no responsibility for experimentation

Keychains!? No one told me that when I was choosing sides!

Happy drunks are the best drunks!

Tara and Willow fluff should be the fluffiest of all!

Willow's wardrobe was a quirk I just had to include…I sorta loved the wacky outfits the two of them came out with. And yeah, Becky has her really fucking stupid moments but I like to think on the whole she's a good person.

Honestly, I like to show off some large-with-the-butch Willow, but there is reason behind it. It's important, I think, to show how protective Willow is of Tara, because it will be a touching point of things to come up in this, and things that happened in the previous installments of this verse.

"Tara?"

"Yeah?"

Willow brushed her fingertips down Tara's arm as they watched a movie in bed, though she was a little distracted and sensed her girlfriend was too.

"Do you like the movie?"

Tara nodded somewhat absently; she was looking at the screen but her focus wasn't on it.

"Sure."

Willow had noticed Tara's 'absence' over the past day or so, but hadn't broached it. She figured Tara would let her in if that's what she wanted, but wanted to make sure her girlfriend knew that.

"I know we've only been, like, 'together-together' for a little while, but you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Tara turned her head towards Willow.

"Of course. Why?"

Willow began to play with Tara's fingers, the movie forgotten about.

"You're…sad. I mean, you're not crying, you're not even all frown-y, but you're sad. I can tell. I just want to make you feel better."

Tara reached up and stroked Willow's cheek affectionately.

"You're very sweet."

Willow looked up into Tara's eyes and fully entwined their fingers.

"Are you okay?"

Tara nodded.

"I am okay. Really. I'm just always a little sad on this day because it's my mother's birthday."

Willow looked surprised.

"Oh."

Tara leaned up to peck her cheek.

"So don't worry about me. I'm not even sad all the time, just remembering."

Willow squeezed their palms together.

"Do you want to tell me about her?"

Tara smiled softly.

"Do you really want to know?"

"About the amazing woman that brought you into the world?" Willow asked genuinely, "I wanna know everything."

Tara's smile slowly spread.

"Okay."

Willow smiled back happily and shut her laptop to stop the movie from playing, then shuffled a little closer to Tara.

"Okay, comfiness first," she said as she got comfortable cuddling into Tara's side.

She let her girlfriend gather her thoughts for a few moments before prompting a start to the discussion.

"What was her name?"

She glanced up and saw Tara smiling still.

"Her name was Lisa."

"That's a pretty name," Willow replied, settling their conjoined hands over Tara's stomach.

"She had darker hair than me," Tara continued after another few moments, "But our eyes were the same colour. I remember a few people saying we had the same smile when I was little but I'm not really sure."

Willow felt her heart skip a beat at the thought of two crooked smiles and squeezed her girlfriend's hand to let her know she was still listening.

"She grew up in Rochester, same as me. She was a cheerleader, and my Dad was a quarterback. They got married right after high school, and had me pretty quick. My Dad started working as a mechanic, she taught art classes on the weekends and stayed home with me during the week."

Willow listened keenly to the details of her girlfriend's past and played idly with her fingertips as Tara kept speaking.

"My very first memory is of her waking me up singing Good Day Sunshine…I told you she loved The Beatles. I think I was around three. I don't remember anything else. Just waking up and seeing her smiling at me and singing that song."

"That's so sweet," Willow gushed, raising her head to smile down at Tara, "My first memory, after the thunderstorm, is getting an A in colouring at playschool."

Tara's eyebrow quirked upwards and Willow's cheeks flushed.

"I went to a really competitive playschool."

Tara gave a gentle smile but it was tinged with sadness.

"I used to always bring her flowers to her grave when I was growing up but since I've left home I can't do that and...well, I struggle a little with wondering how I can show her I still care."

"Maybe you could call your Dad and ask him to leave some flowers dow-" Willow piped up in a helpful tone before grimacing, "You guys don't talk. I knew that. I'm so sorry. Brain-goof."

Tara nodded understandingly and Willow's look became curious.

"I know you never came out to him…because you said the first time you ever said it out loud was that day with me…did you guys just not get along?" she asked, then cleared her throat when she saw Tara's face fall, "I'm sorry, I'm prying."

Tara inhaled deeply, then exhaled it in a slow sigh.

"He just wasn't very nice to me."

"I know that feeling," Willow replied sympathetically, "When I came out…worst phone call of my life."

Tara reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind her girlfriend's ear and looked at her tenderly, so Willow felt safe to continue.

"Well, it was a couple of months after college started. Becky was super excited when I told her I got off the train at girlstown because she loves setting people up but could still have the pick of all the guys for herself. So she was kind of pressuring me to come out, but it wasn't mean or anything, more just like…insistent encouragement. Which I probably needed or I never would have done it. And I had a regular Tuesday phone call with my dad, so I decided that would be the day…"

"I don't know about this, Becky. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this over the phone."

Becky looked up from where she was sorting through some notebooks on her bed.

"No, see this is good, because it will give them a chance to get used it before you go home for the holidays and things won't be weird," she said in an reassuring tone, then winked at her, "I have a smokin' brunette waiting in the wings for you."

Willow didn't smile, instead just staring down at the phone in her hand.

"I'm not coming out to them just to go on a date."

She felt Becky's hand on her shoulder a moment later, offering a comforting squeeze.

"I know, Willow," she said, at a loss of what to say for a moment before going on, "Do you know what you're going to say?"

"I think so," Willow replied, fully prepared with her facts and data about being gay, wanting to appeal to the professional, logical side of her parents.

Becky gave Willow's shoulder another squeeze before moving back to her bed to pick up her notebooks.

"Okay, well, I have to go, I finagled my way into an all-boy study group. It'll all be fine, Willow, don't worry."

Willow gave a completely unconfident smile and then was alone in the room. Her gaze floated to the clock on the wall, watching the seconds tick closer and closer to the hour.

Her phone rang as soon as it struck. Her father was nothing if not punctual. Her hands shook as she pressed the answer button and was silent as she brought to her ear, but luckily Ira started talking instead.

"Hello, bubbala. How are you?"

Willow relaxed a little at the comforting sound of her father's voice.

"Hi. Um, I'm pretty good, Dad. How are you?"

"Very well, Willow. I landed a big east coast client today and your mother was asked as a guest lecturer at Berkeley for this weekend."

"That's…great!" Willow replied enthusiastically, "That's really great."

There were a few moments of silence on the line before Ira piped up again.

"So, tell me about your schooling. Are you still taking your business classes along with your regular ones? I've told you, no matter what your career, a basic knowledge of business will only ever help you."

Willow confirmed she was still doing the classes and spoke to her father about her other classes until she'd stalled all she could and took a deep breath.

"Is mom there? I have something I wanted to say to the both of you."

"Well, sure, Willow," Ira's tone was surprised and then there was shuffling and muffled words, "Sheila, Willow is on the phone. She says she wants to talk to us both."

Willow tried to ignore the nausea settling in her stomach as she listening to more shuffling and footsteps, then buttons being pressed as she was put on speaker. Her mother's voice came next, skipping any pleasantries.

"Are you keeping up with your GPA?"

"Yes, mom," Willow said shakily, playing with her sleeve, "This, um…this isn't school related."

Sheila scoffed.

"You can't possibly need more money. We've been sending you enough to run the government of a small town."

Willow took another deep breath.

"I don't want money."

Willow could almost feel her mother's annoyance.

"Well, spit it out, Willow, come on."

"Let's just listen to the girl," Ira said curtly, "We're listening, Willow."

Willow closed her eyes, hoping it would somehow make everything easier.

"So…you know I didn't really date in high school...busy with studying and stuff."

"Have you met a boy?" Ira asked, before tacking on, "I hope he's Jewish."

Willow shook her head even though she knew her parents couldn't see.

"No, I haven't met anyone… But, I could…potentially…meet…a someone."

She heard her mother make a clicking noise with her tongue.

"Relationships will just get in the way of your studies. They serve no purpose until you're ready to get married and have children."

Willow swallowed and stood up, gesturing in front of her with the hand not holding the phone, unable to stay still as she took the plunge.

"I haven't met someone… but if I did met a someone… that someone... would be a girl."

The silence on the other end could have lasted hours for all Willow knew until her father's confused voice came through.

"What are you talking about, Willow?"

Willow's breathing grew a little heavier.

"My someone wouldn't be my boyfriend… they'd be my… m-my girlfriend. My… lesbian, gay-type lover."

Another stretch of silence followed, then Willow heard her mother.

"Think of what you're saying very carefully, Willow."

"I-I know exactly what I'm saying," Willow replied with faux-confidence, "I'm gay. A-and you know it's not that uncommon, one in ten–"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Sheila burst out, "That college is putting ideas in your head!"

"I've known since before I came to college," Willow replied calmly, though she was feeling anything but, "I've always known."

"Willow, don't be silly, upsetting your parents like this," Ira spoke, almost forlornly, "Have your little phase if you must but don't say these things."

Willow shut her eyes, trying to keep herself in check.

"It's not a phase. I'm gay. I can't change it and I don't want to."

Willow physically winced as she heard a tirade launch from her mother then; she heard more words like 'phase' and 'unnatural' and thought she recognised some scripture quotes, though it seemed like Sheila was just spouting out anything she could think of than through any real reasoning.

She felt her heart sink lower and lower with each passing second until there was silence again, though her mother's enraged breathing could be heard clearly still. She opened her mouth to speak, but her voice came out in a low whisper.

"This won't ever change. This is who I am."

She felt a lump rising in her throat as her mother began to spout angrily at her again.

"Well as long as you stand by that, you can consider yourself free from family obligations. You are not welcome in our lives as a heathen, and we certainly won't continue to finance you!"

"D-Dad?" she asked, trying and failing to stop the tears falling from her eyes.

"This is not who we raised, Willow," Ira spoke in a low and disappointed tone, "We have expectations of you."

The tears silently flowed down her cheeks as her father continued, his tone turning pleading.

"Just tell us this is one of your little practical jokes, Willow. We can forget all about it."

"I can't do that," she whispered, "I can't lie anymore."

"Very well, Willow. You've made your decision," Sheila said, her tone taking on a coldness that Willow had never heard before but sent an icy chill through her, "Quite frankly it's a relief we won't have to worry about you taking up our lives!"

Willow believed that instantly. She heard footsteps stomping off and then there was silence for another minute before final words were spoken from her father. Willow could have sworn they sounded sad and conflicted, but it didn't matter, because they were said anyway.

"Goodbye, Willow."

Willow croaked out a 'goodbye', but the line went dead before she even finished. She fell onto the bed, sobbing loudly into her chest as she listened to the dead dial tone.

"…maybe it would have been better if I had waited to do it in person. But I guess I anticipated…or at least feared the reaction they did have. It could have been a disaster if I was at home and they kicked me out right then and there, nowhere to go."

Tara face was scrunched as she listened, her heart clenching for her girlfriend whose tone was both sad and resigned in acceptance as she recounted the tale.

"Willow, that's awful. No one should have those things said to them. I'm so sorry."

Willow nodded, still feeling the pang of sadness that she didn't have her family, but had had more than a year to deal with it and had mostly come to terms with it.

"Yeah. I mean, it wasn't good times. I tried a couple more times to get in touch, but they never answered. I didn't really care about the money, my scholarship paid my tuition and my room and board, like you, so I knew I wouldn't get kicked out of school. And like they said on the phone, I had a pretty hefty allowance, and not just since college started, so I had, have, a lot of it saved. I budgeted it out over the four years of college and it's still probably more than I need."

Tara nodded slowly, eyes wide.

"Wow."

Willow cringed as she realised her words.

"That sounded bad."

"No, no," Tara shook her head reassuringly, "I just still don't understand how anyone could not want you in their lives."

Willow gave a shy smile, then a small shrug.

"Well after all that happened, I became a whole new person. Cut my hair, it used to be really long, way down my back, and I wasn't scared about…getting out there anymore. Went on those few dates… if you call long awkward silences over sandwiches or seeing a movie and being bored off your ass a 'date'."

Tara pretended to think about it.

"I call…Chinese take-out sitting by a tree a date…or swan boats and peach pizza…"

"Well now, see that must have been my problem," Willow replied, smacking her palm against her forehead, "It was never going to work out with someone who can't even share my definition of a word."

They both shared a smile for a moment before Tara spoke again.

"Do you wish you'd never said anything?"

Willow instantly shook her head.

"No. Like I said, I couldn't lie anymore. It went on too long. While all the other little girls dreamt about their prince proposing to them, I dreamt about proposing to my princess."

Tara brushed some hair from Willow's brow.

"That's really sweet."

Willow smiled shyly before she began idly tracing circles on Tara's shoulder.

"So was it the same with your Dad? The coldness?"

"Definitely…cold," Tara replied hesitantly.

Willow nodded, noting Tara's repeated cautiousness.

"You don't have to tell me."

Tara took a deep breath and covered Willow's hand on her shoulder.

"I want to tell you. It's just…hard."

"Tara?" Willow asked, suddenly overwhelmed with concern.

Tara looked up to meet Willow's eyes. She did want to tell her. Tell her everything she'd been through, come from. She wanted to share just like Willow had shared with her, but didn't know how. She brought Willow's hand up to her mouth and closed her eyes while she kissed her palm for a few moments of comfort before deciding to just be as plain as she could.

"He…abused me."

Willow's eyes flashed with emotion.

"Verbally?"

Tara nodded slowly.

"And…physically."

Willow felt as if her heart had just dropped right from her body.

"Tara."

Tara swallowed at seeing Willow's grief-stricken features.

"If I talk, will you listen?"

Willow eyes remained wide but she shut her mouth, managing a nod as she reeled from what she had just been told.

"Okay. I've never…" Tara paused a moment and gathered herself, "I've never spoken to anyone about this. At least not someone I care about…so…give me some time to get it all out."

Willow had no idea what do to or how to react but sensed what a big deal it was for Tara to be sharing this with her so she pushed down her own feelings and reached, albeit shakily, for Tara's hand, bringing it up to her mouth and kissing her knuckles gently.

"I'm here."

Tara couldn't help feeling happy then; even with the memories and preparing herself to speak of them plaguing her mind, she had Willow now, and that was indescribably wonderful.

She took yet another deep breath and prepared to start.

"My father shut down after my mother died. He stopped going to work and started drinking heavily and expected me to look after him and the house and everything around us. I was ten, and I'd just lost my mother, so even though I tried, thinking it would make her proud, I couldn't always keep up. He slapped me one day when his shirts weren't folded. And that's when it started…"

Willow listened silently as Tara recounted the abuse she'd been subjected to over the years. There was a few pauses, a few wiped tears and a few stumbled words, but Tara was able to tell the tale almost completely without falling apart – her voice sad but strong.

Willow felt tears moving to the back of her eyelids with every blink, determined to offer Tara nothing but comfort.

"He won't hurt me ever again," Tara finished resolutely.

Willow saw red in that moment that anyone had dared to hurt her girlfriend.

"No, he won't ever, I will die before I let–" she started to spout before calming herself for Tara's sake, "I will keep you safe. I promise."

Tara blushed a little at how intensely Willow had reacted to her story – she knew it was a subject matter that would cause a reaction in most people, but she could really feel how deeply her girlfriend cared for her.

She thought it should scare her, especially considering how little time they'd actually been together, but it didn't. She felt the same. And she didn't care if it had been weeks or years, she knew what they shared was something special.

She shot a soft smile upwards.

"I believe you."

"No one will ever hurt you without going through me," Willow replied with the same intent before trying to lighten the mood – more for herself to stop the rage she could feel pulsing through her veins, "I know I'm small but I can be spunky when I want to be!"

Tara laughed a little and Willow smiled too but there were still creases of concern etched on her face.

"Tara, I don't…do you need to…talk to someone…a professional someone? I mean, I'm trying not to suggest police and–"

Tara shook her head.

"Police...that's pointless. I did talk to someone last year for a while."

"Like a therapist?" Willow asked before adding on quickly, "There's nothing shameful in needing help."

"I know that," Tara replied softly, "I had some problems with my wrist because of a fracture that wasn't treated properly. The doctor at the student health centre recognised the injury and had me make an appointment with the counsellor they have in there once a week. I saw her for a few months…and she helped. But I don't like dwelling on it anymore."

Willow continued to look conflicted.

"Tara…eight years…no one can go through that and not…"

Tara looked as if she was contemplating something for a moment before she started to reach towards her nightstand.

"Let me show you something."

Willow was slightly fearful for a moment about what was about to be pulled from the drawer, about what her girlfriend used as a coping method, then breathed a sigh of relief when an old, tattered journal-type, leather-bound book was produced.

"You kept a journal?"

Tara gently pushed the metal fastenings up to pull the leather strap around the journal free.

"My mom did."

"Oh," Willow replied, realising all at once how private this was, "You don't have to share–"

"I want to," Tara cut her off, before adding shyly, "If you do."

"Y-yes," Willow replied, her head moving like one of those nodding dogs seen in the back window of a car.

Tara offered the open journal.

"You can read it."

Willow gingerly took it like it was made of fine china and read from the top of the opened page.

"He's changing. He's taunting me all the time, like he wants us to fight. He's always been jealous and… authoritarian. I go along to keep the peace. But he's becoming cruel, and I won't subject Tara to that."

"He never hit her," Tara piped up softly, "I don't know whether he would have started or whether my mom dying is what pushed him over the edge."

Willow blinked a few times before looking back on the page, where the words skipped a few lines, then continued.

"My perfect angel, Tara. I know there is good in the world when I look at her, in her deep eyes and her sweet smile."

Willow glanced up at her girlfriend and knew straight away what her mother had been talking about. She smiled shyly and continued to read.

"I may not have done much in this world, but I made her and she will always be thing I am most proud of. I will make sure she always knows how loved and precious she is. She can do anything, be anything, be someone. My sweet, sweet Tara."

The bottom corner of the page had a pencil sketch of what Willow could tell was Tara as a child and she traced the familiar features with her thumb until she heard her girlfriend speak again.

"Check the date."

"December 12th," Willow read, then tried to flick the page, but the rest of the diary was blank, "There isn't any more."

"She died on the 13th," Tara replied sadly before shaking her head and smiling a little as she put the journal next to her lamp on the nightstand, "There are pages…and pages…and pages of her talking about how much she loved me. There are some bonds that just can't be broken, and I had that with her. She said she'd make sure I knew I was loved and could do anything, and this did it. This kept me going. This showed me I could be more than a punching bag for someone. This made me do everything I could to get good grades, this made me push myself to get a scholarship so I could get out of that situation."

Willow wasn't sure what to say, but was relieved from having to when Tara kept going.

"I became an adult when I was ten years old. And I went through hell for eight years. But I always knew that wasn't it, that there would be a time when it wouldn't be hell," she said with conviction in her voice, "I got out. I was lucky. And I'm going to help the kids who aren't as lucky. To have that opportunity is so amazing."

"You're so brave," Willow said in awe, "I mean…I'm so happy you are…but even knowing all that you said…living in fear for so long…"

"It wasn't without its effects on me," Tara replied, still feeling the hairs on the back of her neck standing from recounting her earlier life, "There was one time…About a year after my mom died. I got my period for the first time, and I had no idea what was happening. I thought I was dying…and I was kind of glad."

Willow felt like throwing up at the thought of little Tara going through that fear alone, and being glad about thinking she was dying – it took all her strength not to rush to the bathroom and empty her stomach.

"I stuffed my underwear with toilet paper and it stopped after a couple of days…we had 'the talk' in school not long after that so I learned all about it then…" Tara continued, missing the greenish tinge Willow's cheeks had taken, "And then when I moved out here, I spent maybe three months looking over my shoulder, thinking my Dad was going to find me and drag me home. But when the winter holidays came and I was still safe in my dorm…I think that moment I realised that, that was the first time I really breathed in about 9 years."

Willow looked down, trying to piece it all together in her mind. Tara noticed and tried to help.

"Have you ever had a real epiphany? Just a moment of pure clarity where you know exactly what you want? See something really clearly?"

Willow thought 'the first time I saw your face' but just nodded and remained silent.

"Well I guess I had an epiphany and I shifted from being the girl who was scared, to the girl who survived. And that changed how I reacted with people. I never really connected with anyone fully until I met you, but I started getting involved in conversations in class, even told a joke or two. That was enough," Tara continued, then smiled affectionately, "Until a pretty redhead turned my life upside down."

Willow blushed and reached down to take Tara's hand by her waist again.

"Will you talk to me if you ever need to?" she asked, her eyes and tone genuine, "I'll listen…maybe offer a cuddle or two."

Tara nodded softly.

"I will."

Willow smiled happily at that before leaning down to cover Tara's body with her own in as much of an embrace as was manageable with them both lying. Tara inhaled deeply from the top of Willow's head and couldn't resist a gentle kiss on her hair.

"My mom would love you."

Willow's eyes lit up with child-like excitement.

"She would?"

"I know for sure because we always liked the same things," Tara replied with a warm smile, "And you know, I'm not worried about showing her that I still care anymore. I know exactly how."

"You do?" Willow asked expectantly.

Tara nodded again.

"Be happy."

"And you're…doing that?" Willow asked shyly.

Tara said nothing, but did press a long and lingering kiss of indication against Willow's cheek. Willow felt herself flush and gave Tara's hand a squeeze.

"Wanna go on a date tomorrow?"

"Yes, please," Tara replied with an enthusiastic smile, "Romantic, strobe-lit dinner in the cafeteria?"

Willow beamed.

"See, there you go, sharing my word definitions again!"

Tara laughed, visibly releasing the tension from everything she shared and Willow smiled in delight at the sweet sound before suddenly finding her lips being put to different use.

Tara lay back down with her head against the pillows, taking Willow with her as she went. She opened her mouth to invite Willow in, craving the closeness, but sensed a reluctance straight away. She brushed it off and teased her own tongue into Willow's mouth instead, but after several minutes couldn't help but notice that her girlfriend's hands weren't anywhere near the vicinity they normally made a beeline for.

Willow was hands-y and she was very okay with it.

Thinking Willow was worried about touching her after everything that had been said, she softly moved their entwined hands up and over her clothed breast, but the hand instantly retreated.

She broke the kiss and looked down, then raised her head to meet Willow's eyes.

"Is something wrong?" she asked gently, "Do you…do you not want me like that after what I told you?"

Willow shook her head vigorously.

"No, no, baby, no, nothing like that."

Tara reached up to stroke Willow's cheek.

"What is it?"

Willow glanced warily towards the nightstand.

"Your mom is watching!"

Tara turned her head towards the journal and picked it up with a smile.

"Happy Birthday, mom," she whispered with a reverent look before leaving it back in the drawer and turning back to Willow, "Thank you for listening. It meant so much."

Willow opened her mouth to answer but could only smile when Tara yawned, her nose scrunching up in a way that made her heart melt.

"Sleepy?"

Tara nodded and began to settle back into a sleeping position. Willow moved back behind Tara to spoon her, her arm sitting more protectively over her waist than it ever had before.

She felt Tara's breath even out after a few minutes and settled into thought, figuring she probably wasn't going to get much sleep that night.

There was no way anyone was going to get away with hurting her girl.