Chapter 11

"Hey, Greene?" Roy asked as soon as roll call was over.

"Yea?"

"Why don't you grab us a couple of cups of coffee and meet me in the locker room. We'll start the tour there," the senior medic stated, moving towards the janitor's closet where Chet was retrieving the mop bucket to begin the task of cleaning the latrine.

"Sure thing," Kyle commented as he hurried toward the kitchen door, eager to begin his shift and please his temporary partner. He had heard about the legendary paramedic duo of DeSoto and Gage, and he was nervous about being partnered with the senior half of that team.

Chet banged the mop bucket against the closet door as he pulled the bulky item out of the narrow opening. As soon as he saw the lineman enter the locker room, Roy looked back over his shoulder, making sure that no one was following him, then quickly darted in behind Chet.

"Okay, what do you mean I'm not the only one who's been asking questions about Johnny?"

Chet propped the mop beside the sink and began filling the bucket with water and bleach. He turned his blue eyes upwards, staring intently at the taller man. "Caroline overheard a conversation when she first got to work yesterday."

"Between…?"

Chet darted his eyes around the room. "Look, Roy, you can't say a word to anybody, alright?"

Roy fought to keep the look of exasperation from coloring his features. "Just say it, Kelly. What's going on?"

"Well, Caroline went to work after lunch yesterday, and Iris didn't hear her when she went in through the back door."

"Go on," Roy encouraged.

Just as Chet opened his mouth, the door to the locker room opened. Kyle Greene entered with two steaming mugs in his hands.

"DeSoto? It's black, is that how you like it?" The replacement medic asked with a concerned look on his face, worried that he hadn't asked Roy how he liked his coffee.

"Sure, it's fine," Roy stated, accepting the coffee from Kyle without looking at him. Instead, his eyes were glued on the frustrated lineman.

It was obvious that Chet wanted to give his friend more details, but he wasn't about to reveal anything in the presence of the new guy.

E!

As the heavy delivery truck lumbered out of the Tehachapi Mountains, the conversation between James and Johnny was becoming more and more serious. James was continuing his efforts at recruiting the young paramedic, and Johnny was determined to talk to Lily before he committed to anything.

"So, is there really enough money to be made selling flowers to sustain you folks?" Johnny asked, curious about the financial situation of the group.

"We don't require a lot of money, Brother John. We are simple people, desiring to leave the world in a better place than we found it."

"Yea, okay, but how do you pay your bills? I mean, that's a lot o' land back there," Johnny said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder, "and I know land ain't cheap. Plus the building materials, the animals, food for people and livestock, and-"

James raised his hand to silence the rant that was beginning. He had heard it all before from previous recruits and had practiced his response. "You see, when a person sells out and joins us completely, they want to rid themselves of the material and financial chains that keep them from being free… truly free. All of our members discard these worldly nooses that are choking the life out of them," James continued, fully aware that the reference he was making would remind Johnny of the death he had witnessed as a teenager. "They turn over the proceeds to the group, to better the family and sustain us. It's very uplifting, Brother John. You should try it."

Johnny wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the comments, but a part of what James was saying sounded sweet to the paramedic's ears. His father's people placed far more value on humans and Mother Earth than on money and possessions. Perhaps the Unity Family wasn't so different from him after all. Yet, the thought of giving up his most prized possessions, especially his Rover, sent a chill down his spine.

"Yea, okay, but doesn't that mean that you have to keep gaining new members?"

James realized that Johnny was going to need more answers than the others he had converted. While he didn't particularly need Johnny's conversion to add to his numbers, now that Ian had joined them, he still wanted to assure Father Hiram of his allegiance. If Johnny would agree to join their family, that would help him gain even more trust with their leader, thereby securing him a place in the inner sanctuary – his ultimate goal.

James continued answering Johnny's questions. "New members do benefit the family, but to obtain their financial resources isn't the reason we seek them."

Johnny continued looking forward as he processed the bits of information James was giving him. Somehow, he felt as if he was only being fed crumbs, being given just enough information to keep him hungry for more.

"A'right, if it isn't our money you want, why DO you need us?" Johnny questioned, squinting into the morning sun as he peered over at James, much like he would do when he was riding along with Roy.

Roy. The thought of his partner and best friend made him wince. He thought about his last encounter with Roy, could still hear him pounding on the outside of Johnny's apartment door, calling out his apologies and pleading for Johnny to allow him back inside. His heart ached at the thought that he might never see Roy or the rest of the DeSoto family again, especially if he stayed in the Tehachapi Mountains. However, as the image of Phillip Campbell's lifeless body hanging limply from the large tree near the river forced its way into his brain, he remembered why he had left without saying goodbye – William Waite.

How could he have allowed his weakness for family to endanger those he loved most? Since that cool foggy morning in 1965, John Gage had vowed to keep everyone at arm's length. He had promised himself that he would not permit innocent people to be in harm's way because of his connection to William Waite. Iris and Lily Campbell were already involved. He didn't feel guilty about remaining close to them, but the others, like his family and friends? No way could he allow Waite to do to them what he had done to Phillip Campbell. How many times had his captain referred to 51's as a family? Too many times to count, so why hadn't Johnny broken the circle before now? Deep inside his soul, he knew the answer. Biology didn't always determine who was and who was not a member of one's family, and John Gage wanted to belong to a family unit – whether by blood, proximity, or career choice. Loving people, whether they shared his DNA or not, was something Johnny found easy to do. And it was that feeling of love and devotion that made his life such a lonely and painful existence now. As he had done with his parents, he would do for the men of 51's. He would love them enough to break away… or could he?

"Does that make sense?" James asked, veering right and continuing along highway 178.

"Hmm?" Johnny questioned, realizing that he had been lost in his own thoughts and had completely missed what James had said. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't get that. If it isn't for the money, then why exactly do you need us?" Then, as if answering his own question, he responded. "Oh wait, it's the manpower, right?"

James chuckled at Johnny's response. "Well, I have to admit that a few extra strong backs are appreciated, but no, that is not the reason. It is just what I said, Brother John. We want people to join us so that they can find true happiness and realize their ultimate potential. The world we live in is very judgmental; we offer a different way. We offer peace, love, unity, and a sense of purpose that you can not find in the outside world."

"But what IS the purpose? Selling flowers?"

James swallowed hard, trying to find a way to answer Johnny without causing him further alarm. He was very perceptive, and maybe not quite as desperate to escape his demons as James had hoped. Yet, James knew he couldn't reveal the true purpose of the family compound. He was too close to succeeding with his ulterior motive to ruin his plan now.

"Um, the purpose is happiness. True happiness and self-actualization," James answered.

Johnny grinned his crooked smile. "Yea, well, I consider true happiness to be sharing my life with a beautiful woman who loves me just the way I am, maybe a couple o' kids…" Johnny narrowed his eyes, his chin dropping slightly. That's what was missing. Kids. There were no kids in the compound. "Um, James…," he hesitated, shifting in his seat and running a nervous finger beneath his nose. "How come there's no kids?"

"Soon," James grinned. "We have been waiting for Father Hiram to decide that it is time for him to sire offspring. He and his chosen partners will unite tomorrow night and then they will produce the first offspring at Holistic Unity Gardens. The first children of our people, the progeny of our leader."

Johnny's head was reeling from the news. Produce offspring? James made it sound more like a business proposition than a loving relationship. "Sooo, you guys have no sex around here? I don't think I'd find much happiness in celibacy," he smirked.

James smiled for the first time. At least this was an answer he could give his new friend. "Ahhh, intercourse is only one way to find carnal pleasure," he winked, watching as understanding dawned on the paramedic's face.

"Wa-wait… You mean, you don't have sex, per se, but you, ah, you are allowed to perform other sexual acts?"

"Yes, we are allowed intercourse one night each month. The dates are of Father Hiram's choosing, but primarily center around the full moon. Yet, we are not denied the fulfillment of basic human needs and desires during the remainder of the lunar cycle. Father Hiram is in total control of the fertility of our women," James explained. "So far, he has not thought it wise to reproduce. However, once Father Hiram has sired heirs, then the rest of us will be allowed to pair up and start reproducing, as well."

"Children, James. They're called children," Johnny said with a straight face. "You make it sound so clinical. Loosen up, man." Johnny shook his head as he stared out his window. With all the talk of love and peace that James had been giving him, there was no mention of love when it came to sexual relationships, or starting families, and that did not go unnoticed by the keen paramedic.

"I suppose you're right, Brother John. I apologize for sounding so… distant, I guess you could say."

"Yea," Johnny responded, returning his dark eyes to the mysterious man in the driver's seat. "You don't sound like you're buying into the part about marriage and kids."

Thinking quickly to cover for his lack of enthusiasm, James piped up. "We do not marry as in the traditional sense, the way the world recognizes marriage. Here, no one is permanently paired with another. We are allowed freedom and choices when it comes to sexual fulfillment. Unless we are chosen to, um, bring a child into the world. Then we are to pair up until the entire process has been completed so as to ensure the paternity of the infant. Father Hiram's chosen ones are the exception. They will be united with him for life, as in the traditional sense of marriage."

"Humph, so are you saying that you can have sex with as many of the chicks as you want, uh, with their consent, of course, and there's no strings attached?"

"Of course, or with some of the men, if that is your preference."

"Ohhh no, nu-uh, no way."

Johnny grinned, thinking of what it would be like to live in such a world. After all, rarely did he ever make it past second base before getting dumped. "So what about… you know… VD? Or what if your favorite lady gets picked to be," he snickered, " in Father Hiram's harem." Saying the words sent a sinking feeling into the pit of Johnny's stomach. What if Lily was to be one of the chosen ones?

James smiled, cutting his eyes over at his new friend. "Venereal disease is not a concern among our family. Father Hiram provides a healing service for all our new converts. This cleanses them of all outside negativity and makes them pure again. If they have not kept themselves sexually pure prior to joining us, then their purity is restored. It's called a second virginity. After their conversion is complete, they are welcomed into the family, and are free to participate in ALL aspects of our lives."

"So, no hanky-panky until you're a full-fledged member, huh?"

James was careful how he responded. "It is against Father Hiram's rules, and it is what is best for the family. More than once, Father Hiram has revoked the membership of a family member. He refers to it as bastardizing them, and they are sent away to spend the remainder of their lives in exile. Committing a sin against the family is a very serious offense, Brother John. But it is to ensure that our family remains united and pure. Surely you understand."

Johnny was soaking it all in, and thoughts of he and Lily enjoying such sexual freedom kept his mind wandering away from the discussion about the purpose of the family. "No condoms?" Johnny questioned.

"No," James continued. "None are necessary, neither for birth control, nor disease prevention. We have no barriers between our members, Brother John. There are no worries here."

Johnny rubbed his chin, shifting in his seat as his body reacted to the information he was hearing.

"Father Hiram has been preparing two of our women who are in the prime of their childbearing years. He has them on a restrictive diet and herbal routine to detoxify their bodies in preparation for a possible pregnancy. They have been off limits to all of us for the last three months in anticipation of the coming lunar cycle. And do not concern yourself about who these women are; Lily is not one of them," he reassured the worried paramedic. When he looked back to the road ahead, a flash of blue light reflected in his side view mirror.

"Ugh."

The sound of James groaning when he peered into the side view mirror made Johnny jerk his head to the right.

"What?" Johnny asked, sitting up straighter in the seat and glancing at his side view mirror as well. "Why are we being pulled over?"

"Pigs don't like us," James huffed, pulling the truck onto the shoulder of the road. "Wait here," he said, turning off the vehicle and reaching into the glove compartment for his registration. With an aggravated look on his face, he stepped down from the truck and walked back toward the two officers who were exiting their patrol car.

Johnny watched in his mirror at the activity taking place behind the delivery truck, thinking it odd that one of the officers was wearing street clothes. He tried to see what was happening, but the three men stepped out of his line of sight. He heard the rolling door open and felt the vibration of a man walking around in the back of the vehicle. The impromptu inspection seemed to end quickly, and James returned to the cab of the truck.

Johnny looked worriedly at his new friend. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm getting used to this," James mumbled, glancing a couple of times in his side view mirror before returning to the highway. "Now, what other questions do you have about joining the family?"

E!

Marco stood over the trashcan, scraping the remnants of his dinner into the nearly full garbage receptacle, then headed to the sink to begin his dish-washing duty. When a handful of forks were dropped into the sudsy water, splashing bubbles onto his forearm, he looked over at the offending man.

He had been watching how his partner had been fidgety and anxious during most of the shift, yet multiple attempts to elicit the reason from the worried Irishman had been unsuccessful. Marco pressed his lips together in exasperation as he glared at the junior lineman.

"Hey, watch it, will you?"

"Hmm?" Chet asked, looking over his shoulder as he used a damp cloth to wipe the tabletop. Seeing the white suds standing in stark contrast with the tanned skin of Marco's arm, he released a sorrowful frown. "Oh, sorry."

"Want to talk about it now?" The senior man asked, seeing that they were alone in the kitchen. "It's Caroline, isn't it?"

"No." Chet released a sigh, knowing that he had been acting uncharacteristically worried all day. He knew he owed his friend an explanation. "Caroline and I are great… I'm, ah… I'm worried about Johnny and Roy, ya know?" While not telling the entire story, he had still managed to let Marco know what was on his mind.

"Me too, amigo. I just hope that they can work together again, when Johnny comes back."

"Where are DeSoto and Greene, anyway?"

Marco rinsed the plate he had been washing, placing it in the dish drain before responding. "Back-to-back runs all day. I think the last one was for a possible heart attack, but I'm not sure. You must've been in the shower when dispatch toned them out."

Several moments of silence passed before Chet decided to head for the latrine to brush his teeth, hoping that Roy might return soon and the klaxons would remain silent long enough for him to share his information with the senior medic.

Just as the lineman was finishing up his oral hygiene routine, he heard the doors of the squad slamming shut. He was using his fingers to comb his mustache into place when he saw Roy's reflection in the mirror.

"Where is everybody?"

Chet turned around, facing the paramedic. "I dunno, man. It's been a crazy shift."

"Don't I know it," Roy agreed, his face revealing his exhaustion. "Wanna go out behind the station and finish that conversation?"

Chet didn't need an explanation. He had been waiting all day to tell Roy what Caroline had shared with him. "Yea," he commented, following Roy through the latrine door and across the back parking lot.

The two men stood in front of Chet's van, leaving them both with a clear view of the station, ensuring that none of the other men would be able to walk up on them and overhear them talking.

Roy leaned his forearms on the hood of the VW van, shifting his blue eyes towards his friend. "Now, who else has been asking questions about Johnny?"

Chet ran a nervous hand through his curly hair. While Caroline hadn't sworn him to secrecy, he did love and respect her very much. What he knew left him feeling torn between competing loyalties.

"Look, you can't tell anybody, alright?" Chet asked, knowing Roy wasn't going to be able to make such a promise.

"Chet, I-"

"I know, I know, but this is serious, Roy. I mean, really serious."

"Chet… Who?"

The younger man gulped, knowing there was no turning back. "Caroline thinks the guy's a cop, and even though she didn't get a look at 'im, she said she thought she recognized his voice."

Roy's face began to turn red with frustration. "Who, Chet? Vince?"

"No… Crockett."

"Why would Ron Crockett be in Bloomers asking about Johnny?" The paramedic's voice was gravelly as he asked his question.

Chet looked at the station and around the back lot. No one was around them, yet he still felt awkward about what he needed to tell his friend. He cleared his throat, knowing that Roy was going to explode.

"Because he was talking to Iris about Johnny. Caroline said the man was a black guy and that he's a Lieutenant. She met Crockett at Mike's hearing, during the meylee, and she really thinks it was him. Anyway, the guy said Johnny was a witness to an old murder case and was needed to testify at the trial." Chet felt his thighs grow weak with anxiety, and began to shift his weight, nervously. "DeSoto, you can't breathe a word of this to anyone because Iris doesn't know that Caroline overheard the conversation. And-."

Roy stood up, staggering backwards until his feet bumped against the cement retaining wall. He stared at Chet in disbelief. "I-I'm shocked. Johnny never mentioned being a witness to a murder."

"I know, man. And if he didn't tell you, then you know he sure as hell didn't tell any of the rest of us…," Chet hesitated, knowing what he was about to say was going to surprise the dumbfounded paramedic even more. "But Iris knew about it."

"WHAT?"

"SSshhh," Chet warned, stepping closer to Roy and lowering his voice. "Caroline heard Iris tell the man that she had known Johnny for a long time, since he was a kid, Roy. What the fuck's up with that, huh?"

Roy felt his mouth suddenly go dry and his heart leap into his throat. He was flabbergasted. Iris had known Johnny for years?

Roy's wide eyes narrowed as anger overwhelmed him, coursing hot and bitter through his veins. "I'll tell you what it means. She lied to me," Roy grunted through clenched teeth. "The bi… Argh! She lied to me," he repeated; his words and tone were opposite of the calm demeanor he normally possessed.

"Yea, well… Seems Iris isn't the only one around here who's lying. Johnny hasn't exactly been truthful either, now has he? I don't think Iris picked him up when he was walking home from his girlfriend's house, do you?"

Roy felt the throbbing begin on the left side of his head and wondered if it was the onset of a headache, or if his blood pressure had just risen drastically. Deciding it was probably both, he rubbed his temple with his fingertips, searching his mind for another possible explanation for what Caroline had heard.

"No… It's like… Chet, it's like I don't even know my own partner anymore."

"Maybe we should all go over to his place and talk to him. You know, kind o' gang up on 'im. See if he'll come clean with us."

"That would jeopardize Caroline's job," Roy commented softly, having exhaled a few times in an effort to calm himself. "Besides, you don't want to cause a problem between you and your future wife, do you?"

Chet leaned his hip against the passenger's side fender of his vehicle while he tried to think of a way to solve their dilemma. "True… I've got to respect her wishes to keep it quiet."

Roy chuckled slightly. "Yea, well… You've already broken that promise." He stepped away from the retaining wall, stretching his achy back. "I hope you can keep your marriage vows better than you kept this promise to her."

Chet felt the weight of guilt bearing down on his shoulders. "Well, she didn't tell me I couldn't tell ya, just that she didn't want Iris to ever find out what she had overheard."

"I'm so damn mad, I feel like punching Iris in her lying mouth right now… but I could never hit a woman – not even her." Roy clenched and released his fists. Deep down, he was feeling betrayed, but not by Iris. Johnny had been Roy's best friend since they became partners. Johnny had been there for Roy when his marriage was falling apart. He had helped keep Roy grounded, helped him realize that he was jumping to conclusions about Joanne's alleged affair. Johnny had even kept the kids so that Roy and Joanne could talk things through. So why hadn't Johnny confided in him? Instead, he had turned to an older woman, a woman he seemed to have known much longer than anyone realized. That in itself was a lie of omission, wasn't it? Yes, Roy was seething mad, but not necessarily at Iris, like he was telling Chet. No, he was more angry with Johnny.

"Yea, well… You ain't so good at punchin'," Chet snickered, waving his hand towards Roy's bruised left eye, hoping Roy might appreciate the slight quip as a way of releasing tension.

Roy offered the lineman a hint of a smile. "Maybe not, but I'd sure like the chance to choke the shit out of… Somebody."

"Whoa… down boy," Chet said in a stage whisper. "Remember, you can't tell anyone, especially not Iris."

Roy thought for a moment, listening to the steady sounds of the cars on the freeway behind the station. "Well… Since Iris is obviously a liar, and Caroline CAN'T talk about it, and Johnny WON'T talk about it, then… Hell, I don't know what to do."

"Me either," Chet replied.

"But I promise I won't do anything to compromise Caroline's job."

"Or our marriage?" Chet added.

"Yea," Roy said with a smile, still trying to get used to the idea of a married Chet. "But, I guess the big question now is… What am I gonna say to Iris and Johnny the next time I see them?" No longer thinking that Iris and Johnny were involved in a romantic relationship, he still wondered how they knew each other. Yet, the more pressing concern was whether or not he would have the opportunity to talk to Johnny again. With the last words his best friend had spoken to him reverberating in his memory, he hoped he would have the chance to make things right between them.

E!

Just after nightfall, Johnny watched as the embers continued to glow around one of the fire pits he had chosen to sit at during the nightly ritual of the tea ceremony. He hadn't seen Lily all day, and now his worries about her being one of Father Hiram's options was causing him anxiety, in spite of James' assurances to the contrary. James had promised that he would allow Lily and Johnny to talk after the tea ceremony, but where was she? Johnny lifted his eyes, looking around at the relaxed and contented faces of the members of the family. Males and females were intermingling, a few were holding hands and whispering to each other while they all stared at the hypnotic withering dance of the few flames that remained amid the growing pile of ashes. His eyelids were growing heavier and heavier, but just as the last tongue of fire slithered inside the mound of embers, he heard a familiar masculine voice speaking softly to him.

"Brother John?"

Slowly the relaxed paramedic lifted his chocolate eyes to meet those of James. "Hmm?"

"It is time."

His gaze drifted from James to the young woman who stepped up beside him. Immediately, he recognized her. The soft glow of her hazel eyes in the dim light of the fire, her dark wavy hair accenting her perfect complexion and framing her plump lips that curled into a slight smile.

"Lily?"

"Hello, Thorn. It's been a long time. Brother James tells me that you are considering joining us."

Johnny stumbled as he pushed himself off the ground. When he rose to his feet, he felt James provide a steadying hand. "Yea… Lily, it's be-been years. I've missed ya," he remarked, his trademark grin appearing on his expressive face.

"I've missed you, too. I just can't believe that you're here and… And you may be joining us," Lily said, stepping closer to him, but not near enough for him to touch her.

"Yea… I… I really need to talk to ya… 'bout somethin' else, though," Johnny commented, walking in the direction that James was guiding him.

"Why don't we drive out to the meditation garden?" James asked, ushering the couple towards the nearest electric cart.

"Right on, James," Johnny said with feelings of elation from the tea he had consumed, still mesmerized by the young woman he had adored since she was a child.

Johnny waved his hand in the direction of the back seat of the cart, allowing Lily to be seated before he sat down. James quickly assumed his position as the driver, and silently the small cart drove into the night.

The ride was short and silent. Johnny didn't want to begin the conversation until they arrived at their destination, simply enjoying the peaceful ride with the woman he cared for deeply so near to him. When James drove past the meditation garden, Johnny became a little concerned.

"Uh, James?"

"Someone was already there," James tossed over his shoulder, "and it looked like they were needing some privacy. We'll go to the boulder near the front gate. It should be unoccupied."

Just as James had predicted, the area near the compound entrance was empty. He eased the tiny cart to a stop beside the gate, stepping out and offering his hand to Lily.

"I need to make sure the lock is secure. It's a nightly ritual. You two can sit on the boulder over there," he directed, pointing to his right, "and I'll do the lock check and then wait for you here. Just make sure to stay on this side of the boulder."

Johnny felt a bit like a teenager being watched by the father of his date, yet James' words sounded like neither a threat nor a warning. Instead they gave him a sense of peace, a feeling of security.

"Thorn, James assures me that you are being truthful, that you really are thinking of joining us and that you aren't here to take me away," Lily said as she took a seat on the large gray stone.

"You know I'd never do anything to hurt you. I really care about you, Lily." He paused, seeing her dip her head and smile. He wanted to reach out, lift her chin up so that she was looking into his eyes, but he didn't dare touch her. He wanted to be respectful of the group and their rules. To them, he was still an outsider, not yet a part of the fold, and the last thing he wanted to do was frighten her. "You know your mom misses you, too?"

"She refused to join us; she chose the outside world over her only child," Lily stated, her countenance falling. "She cast me aside, Thorn. She doesn't understand me, not like you do. So, I have forbidden myself from speaking of her."

"You won't allow yourself… Or is it that Father Hiram won't allow you to?" He asked, hoping he wasn't pushing her too hard. The last thing he wanted to do was to offend her. He didn't give her time to answer his question before he asked her another. "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded, refusing to look over at him. "As long as it isn't about her."

The mention of her mother brought an ache to her heart for which she felt a deep sense of remorse. Father Hiram had assured her that leaving her mother had been the right thing to do. She had cut all ties to the outside world, but that one had been the most difficult.

"Lily… Are you happy?"

Her smile immediately lit up her face. "Oh yes, very happy. I'm an artist now."

"Artist?"

"Yes," she replied, her enthusiasm contagious. "I've been promoted from the greenhouses to the pottery house."

"There's a pottery house?"

"I'm sorry, Thorn. I forgot that you haven't gotten to see the entire compound, yet. That only comes after your conversion is complete. This place is much larger than what you've been allowed to see, so far. We have a pottery house where we create one of a kind pots for our plants and vases for the flowers. Some we sell locally, filled with the plants we've grown. Others, we ship all over the country and the world. It's so rewarding to know that something I formed with my own hands," she said, looking down at her open palms, "is bringing happiness to sick and lonely people on the other side of the world," she exclaimed. "Father Hiram blesses each piece in his sanctuary before it gets shipped out. I'm a part of something that is bringing healing and love to a desperate and dying world."

Her eyes were brighter than Johnny had ever remembered seeing them. He could tell that she truly was happy, but he worried about the activity she was describing.

"So you send these out to people around the world, people you don't even know?" He asked, his curiosity piqued.

"Yes, it's our way of passing along our own inner peace. It's how we reach the pinnacle of our existence."

Johnny drew his eyebrows together. Even though the woman sitting beside him looked like Lily Campbell, the words and phrases she was using were completely different. What had happened to the shy young girl he had met along the highway when they were just teenagers?

"Thorn, please say you'll join us? You'll love it here… And we can be together forever… No one here will judge us. And soon, we will even be able to… to unite completely, in every way. We might even be permitted to… to have a baby, if you'd like."

"Whoa, slow down, Lil'," he said, raising his hand. "I'm not quite ready to be a dad. I've…," he shook his shaggy head, as if clearing his thoughts. Being in her presense was bewitching. "Ahhh, see… I… I've been asked to testify against William Waite," he blurted out, knowing that there would be no easy way to bring up the subject of her Uncle's murder.

Lily's face darkened, growing paler in the soft glow of the moon. "No… Thorn, you can't go back there. You just can't. They'll…," she gulped, feeling her eyes begin to sting. "They'll get you, too," she softly cried.

"Hold on… Now I didn't say I was gonna do it. I just said that they want me to."

"Who?" She questioned. "Who's THEY? It's a trap, Thorn. It's got to be a trap. It's just a way to get you back there so they can leave you han-."

"Stop it!" He said, using his voice to ground her. He wanted to hold her tightly, pull her into the safety of his arms, but he dared not cross that line. "Things have changed since we left. The old police chief is dead, and just before he died, he ratted out Waite… Confessed everything… But," Johnny ran his hands through his hair. "But they know I'm an eye witness… And… Kizzy told 'em 'bout the pictures."

"She did WHAT?" Lily's eyes grew wide, realizing what her grandmother had done. "But, you destroyed them, didn't you? You threw the film in the river, right?"

Johnny shook his head slowly from side to side. "I didn't. I just couldn't make myself do it." He glanced over her shoulder, seeing that their chaperon was patiently waiting beside the gate. "Lily, I still have the film. I never developed it. It may not even be any good anymore; I mean, it's been ten years, but… Help me, Lily. Tell me…," he hesitated, licking his dry lips, his mind still feeling as foggy as that long ago morning. "Should I testify? Should I just turn over the film? Please tell me what I should do?"

Lily, no longer the starry-eyed teenager, closed her eyes and calmed herself with a few breathing exercises she had been taught by the family. If the police chief was dead, would it be safe to return? Had times changed at all? When she opened them again, she looked at the man beside her, seeing into his soul with her intense gaze. "Follow your heart, Thorn. The peace you seek can not be found in the past. Your soul already knows the answer to your question. It is not my choice to make."

"Lily, please…"

"Maybe… Perhaps if the police chief is dead, then… Then maybe things have changed…" She used her thin fingers to adjust her headband, curling her hair behind her ear. "You have to do what your spirit is telling you to do. If that is to join us, and I hope that it is, then you will make the right decision. We can be together forever, right here. You could mail the film to the authorities, and unite with us… Or, if you choose to testify at the trial, then…"

When she didn't finish her thought, Johnny jumped in using every ounce of internal strength he had to restrain himself from grabbing her upper arms and shake her. "Then… What?"

Lily stood up, pacing a few steps towards the place where James waited. When she turned to the side to look back at Johnny, her eyes glistened in the moon light. "If you choose that path, going back to a place filled with hate, then I may not be available when you return."

"But why? I can still join when the trial's over."

"I may be long gone then. And you… You will be tainted, Thorn. That place changed you; it changed both of us. Now I seek peace and I've found it among my family, my true family here. You seek to right a wrong that can never be undone in that world. It is futile, Thorn. And mark my words, if you do this, if you go back there, then you won't return here as the same man you are now."

"I've felt tainted my whole life, Lil. My whole goddamn life," he cursed, wishing he could take back the words as soon as he had uttered them. "Am I Indian, or white? Am I a coward, or a hero? Am I-"

"A man?" She jumped in, knowing she was slicing through his heart with her words, but she had been taught that a person had to be broken before he could be mended, emptied of the world before being filled with the peace Father Hiram offered. "Or a child?"

"Don't," he grunted, the hurt bubbling deep inside his soul. His manhood had been wounded when he had failed to prevent Phillip's death. Now the one person whose opinion of him mattered more than anyone else, was taking a shot at his masculinity.

"A child does what others tell him to do. A man makes his own decisions," she said, turning and quickly heading for the cart. She had effectively given him an ultimatum, challenged his manhood, and she sincerely hoped that he would choose to join the group, to join her family.

James stood up, whispering his accolades to her as she took her seat in the back of the cart. "Nice job, Sister Lily. I think he's very close, and you just might have pushed him over to our side."

"I did my best," she whispered back, watching as Johnny pushed himself off the boulder, slouching as he walked slowly back to the cart. He was considering her words; she could tell by his expressive face. She smiled inwardly, pleased with herself for completing the task that Father Hiram had commanded of her, and if Johnny was still with them tomorrow night, she would be able to make him an offer she hoped he couldn't refuse.