A/N: This chapter is dedicated to all my loyal reviewers. Some of you were lucky enough to get a cameo appearance! Look for them throughout the chapter! XD

Chapter 11: Clown to the Right of Me, Telepath to my Left (Here I Am Stuck In the Middle with BOOM!)

Oh, that makes sense. AHHHHHHH!!!

Calm down. Why are you screaming?

What? Was I doing that out loud, too?

Jean looked up at me with concern in her eyes. "Yes, now please stop screaming."

I blinked in surprise and looked around. Everyone was staring at me yet again, including Deadpool.

"What?" I asked innocently. "Oh my gosh, look over there! Robot Pirates from space!" I pointed at a patch of empty air then sat down and rubbed my temples. How did I get such a killer headache? Ow.

"HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" somebody yelled/laughed. Wait a minute…that doesn't sound like any of the people who were here before…

"AHH!! Evil clown! Die, die, die," shouted Deadpool, shooting his guns at the newcomer, "die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, DIE!!!" Ow, all this shooting really isn't helping my headache. Who is the newcomer, anyways?

"Look for yourself," my evil self said to me smugly.

"I really don't like you," I said, turning my head to where the action was. 'Action' meaning whoever Deadpool was shooting at.

What I saw both shocked and amazed me…Well at least it wasn't a Robot Pirate from space…

I was looking at a clown wearing a yellow clown suit (don't ask me how that looks like, it's hard to explain) and carrying…

"Is that a chainsaw?!!!" I said to the clown.

"HAHAHAHA!" was the reply.

"DIE CLOWN!! Hope you like lead, cause you're going to get more than your daily dosage! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!" Deadpool continued to shoot the clown.

"Wade stop! Let's just sit down and talk this out like the mature adults we are," said Jean as she waved her hand in the clowns' direction. The clown rose from the ground and flailed his limbs around, trying to keep balance while suspended in midair, and Deadpool's guns flew out of his hands and onto the rooftop.

"Him? Mature? Now that's funny, Jeanie, I didn't know you had a sense of humor," said Wolverine, holding back Deadpool from the clown. I don't know why, but clowns have never actually scared me before, so why is Deadpool afraid of them?

"He's not afraid. Don't let him hear you call him the 'a' word," replied my evil self, "and would you stop calling me evil?!"

"Well, I can't exactly call you my 'inner voice' now can I?" I replied. Jean glanced at me worriedly and the others stared at me like I was crazy.

"What?" I asked them.

Cyclops shook his head and helped Wolverine move Deadpool into the X-Jet. Jean floated into the jet, taking the clown along with her. I followed up the little ramp and clambered into one of the unoccupied seats between the clown and Jean. Electro glanced up at the jet, shook his head and walked away. Domino jumped into the jet and sat directly next to the exit door. Deadpool was seated directly across from me, with Wolverine on his left and Cyclops on his right.

Wait, if they're there, then who's flying the jet?!?!

"Called it!" said my evil self from up next to the pilot's seat in the cockpit.

"No way! You're a figment of my imagination! You are not allowed to drive!" I shouted.

"I'm a figment of your imagination?" said a masculine voice that definitely wasn't my evil self.

"Ummmm…No?" I answered uncertainly.

"Well that's good. For a second there, I thought I didn't know if I actually existed or not." The pilot's seat swiveled around and I saw who the pilot was. His body was coated with ice and he was wearing one of the matching X-Men uniforms. He must be Iceman. He pinched his arm and said, "It's okay everyone! I'm not imaginary!"

"Thank goodness. You really had me worried there for a second, Bobby. Now can we please get out of here?" asked one of the girl X-Men I didn't recognize. I swear I've seen her before, too! Ah, what was her name?

"And why are you in such a hurry, Kitty?" asked Iceman, folding his hands behind his head as he leaned back in the chair. Ah, that was her name. Kitty. I knew she looked familiar. Bobby continued; "Got a hot date with Piotr tonight?"

Kitty blushed crimson and looked at the floor.

"Hey everybody! Guess what!" said Deadpool excitedly from his seat between Cyclops and Wolverine. They had strapped him in with eight different seatbelts, but I doubt that would hold him.

The X-Jet was silent except for a faint ticking off to my right-hand side. The clown's side. If that isn't foreshadowing, I don't know what is.

Finally, somebody couldn't take the tension any longer.

"What?" asked Domino.

"There's a horde of vampires outside the window!" Deadpool replied with a smile.

"What?!" Bobby almost yelled. He swiveled around in his chair and frantically started pressing buttons. "Everybody, prepare for a sudden liftoff. We're getting out of here alive." He said the last part in a serious tone that would normally be heard on an army general.

"Hold up, bub. I forgot about this," Wolverine said as he picked up the clown's powered down chainsaw and tossed it out the opening, followed by a dull thud and a voice that sounded strangely like my brother's, saying; "What the-? Is this a chainsaw?"

Weird how he would be the one catching it…

"He's a vampire now. Of course he would catch it!" said my evil self, standing right in front of me. The Jet began to take off and suddenly we were high in the air and I was clutching at my seatbelt for dear life. "Oh, and by the way, there's a reason people have to go through security gates at the airport."

"And what might that be?" I asked softly with my head turned towards the floor. God I hate flying.

"Bombs."

"You have got to be kidding me! Where's it at?" I sat up straight in my chair, ignoring the stares from the others along with my nervous stomach.

My evil self smiled, well, evilly, and pointed to my right. The clown. I should've guessed.

"Yeah, you should've."

"Shut up, you," I told my evil self as I turned to the silent clown. Why is he so silent?

I looked up at his mouth and noticed that it had duct-tape covering it. Ohh. Duct-tape. That explains it.

I suddenly reached over and violated his personal bubble by pulling up his shirt, revealing a red blinking device that looked suspiciously like a bomb. Everyone on the jet gasped except for me, Iceman, Deadpool, and the clown, but that was probably because his mouth was taped shut and Bobby wasn't looking. Deadpool and I just weren't surprised.

"Crap," I said simply, pulling the duct-tape off of the clown's mouth. He screeched in pain and looked at me with hate in his eyes.

"Why are you strapped to a bomb?" I asked him. He didn't respond. Almost immediately, my mind went into hotwiring mode. I pulled out a knife from one of my pockets and went to work on the casing. I pried the casing off, revealing a mass of gray wires.

"Dang…" I said. "Which one do I cut?"

"How about the gray one?" snickered my evil self.

"You're no help…" I replied softly.

"Um…who are you talking to?" asked Domino.

"Well, since I'm not talking to any of you, I must be talking to myself," I said simply, holding up a bunch of gray wires in my hands. "Which one do you think I should cut?"

"The gray one?" said Cyclops uncertainly.

"Uggh! I can't remember which one to cut! Was it the gray one, the other gray one, or the other other gray one?!" I said frantically.

"Hush, young Padawan. Remember your training," said my evil self, holding her hands together and bowing her head.

"Shut up you! You're no help! And what training have I gotten?" I yelled at my evil self. The others stared at me again.

"Um, Sophia? Are you okay?" asked Jean worriedly. I glanced at her and looked back at the mass of wires in my hands.

"Do you think I'm okay?" I asked her sarcastically. Of course I'm not okay! I talk to myself, my thoughts are crazy, I hallucinate, and I probably have a split personality! And to add to all of that, I have Deadpool as a mentor, I don't like cats, and there are telepaths reading my thoughts! I know you're there, Jean, I can sense you.

Sophia, you need to calm down.

Answer my question, out loud.

"I don't feel comfortable answering that question," said Jean from my left-hand side. I shook my head slowly and picked up a gray wire.

"Gee, thanks. That makes me feel so much better about myself," I said as I took my knife to the wire's casing. And why isn't Deadpool saying anything?

"Ah, the wonders of Duct-tape," said my evil self from over next to an unconscious Wade. "Too bad I didn't have any. Good thing you had this rock handy." She held up a rock. Wait…she can pick stuff up?!

"Sure can! I have a physical manifestation, so I can pick stuff up! Here's your rock back." She threw the rock back to me and I caught it. I wonder what the others can see, when they look at where you're standing…

"Easy one: a floating rock," replied my evil self.

"A floating rock? Seriously? That's ridiculous," I said, turning back to the bomb on the clown's stomach.

"Cindy! …Whoa, who turned out the lights? Is there a party going on, and I didn't get invited? How dare you not invite me!" Deadpool struggled against his restraints and Wolverine put a hand on his chest to hold him back.

"No, bub. We got bigger problems than some party gone wrong. There's a bomb strapped to this clown." Wolverine pointed a claw at the clown in question.

"I hope you aren't calling me the clown." Deadpool peeled up his shirt and looked at his scarred stomach. It was bomb-free. "Phew, that was a close one."

"Let's see here… Mr. Wilson, which one do you think I should pick?" I showed him the wires in my hands.

"Hmmm…The pink one! Definitely the pink one!" he replied cheerily.

"But…there aren't any pink ones," I answered confusedly.

"Wha? But there's always a pink wire! How could there not be a pink wire?" asked Deadpool incredulously. "You got rid of the pink wire, didn't you Mr. Bub?!"

"What?" asked Wolverine.

"You heard me! And-Ooof! Why is Hawkeye flying around my head with Copycat? …Get away from her you son of a-oooof!" With that Deadpool fell unconscious yet again. I looked up at my evil self, who was holding the rock once more.

"Why? You know what, I don't even want to know," I said to her.

"I doubt you would like the answer anyway," my evil self replied.

I glanced at the timer on the bomb. It read '0:14'. Oh crap, crap, crap, crap, crap! I unbuckled myself along with the clown and roughly pulled him out of his seat and over to the entrance of the jet. The others looked at me in shock as I pressed the little button to lower the ramp. They stood--or rather sat--in horrified astonishment as I carefully pushed the clown off the little ramp. He fell to the Earth relatively slowly, must be that clown suit at work. Suddenly, with no warning at all, there was a huge fiery mushroom cloud where the clown had just been, and to go along with this lovely sight, there was also a huge exploding sound like 'Ba-booooooooooooom!' The force of the explosion blew my hair away from my face because I wasn't wearing my protective mask. That was mostly because I don't like wearing it because it makes my face sweaty and it messes up my hair. I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

"Good job, Knifepoint. Couldn't have done it any better myself…well I could, but that wouldn't be very supportive of me," said Deadpool, conscious once more.

"Who's Knifepoint? And you do know that I could've just phased through the bomb at any moment and quietly disarmed it, didn't you?" asked Kitty, breaking out of her shock long enough to ask a question.

"That gal right there! And your way is no fun!" Deadpool grinned and pointed at me. Everyone stared at me once more. Do you know how weird it feels to have some of the X-Men stare at you like you're crazy? Pretty dang weird, I'll say.

"You changed my name from Jacknife to Knifepoint? Why?" I asked him as I swiftly returned to my seat while avoiding everyone else's gaze.

"Well, we wouldn't want Jackknife coming around here and yelling at you cause you stole his name, now would we? He doesn't play very nice and his breath stinks," said Deadpool, playing with one of his eight seatbelts.

"Okay, well I guess that settles that. Who's up for pizza?" asked Iceman calmly from the cockpit of the plane.

"ARRR! I be Captain Deadpool, and ya better listen ta me, or else I'll make ya walk the plank!" I looked over at Deadpool, who was now wearing a pirate hat atop his crimson masked head. Where did he get that from?!

"It's Deadpool, where wouldn't he get it from?" asked my evil self.

"I really don't like you…" I hissed to my evil self, getting curious stares from the others.

Ta-DAAA!! Another crazy chapter completed! Zarsthor, you're represented in this chapter as Sophia's evil self, mostly because you said you were a villain and that you would change all the wires to gray. Oh, and I'm sure you would do all the things she does in this chapter. So there! Review, my loyal readers, review!