Thanks for voting, dudes! :D You asked for Chipettes and you shall receive them:)
IMPORTANT (ish) ANNOUNCEMENT: I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! :D So it'll be a few weeks until the next update. Hopefully, I'll have my beta's birthday present edited by then and you guys' can read that during my absence. It's a Simon/Jeanette one-shot, but shh don't tell her;) I even threw in a lil' S&J for her in this chappie. Yay for rodent lovin:3
And, just to embarrass her, I shall say it again!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNON!
Wish I could get you a pair of Sokka's pants:(
Oh yeah, I even put it in the middle, just like a cheesy birthday banner:D Bazinga, I could so rock Party City.
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I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks.
(Seville Rules 30-50)
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"Are you serious."
"Dead."
"He's gone mad."
"Furiously."
"This should be a crime!"
"Jeuvenille!"
Jeanette stared at the television with perfectly round indigo eyes. Alvin flashed her a commonly used smirk as he smoldered at the camera and smoothly leaned against a plasic bottle a good four inches taller than him.
Jeanette nearly screamed. "He's on a Proactiv commercial. A chipmunk is on an acne commercial."
Simon made a disgusted noise, his baby blues still locked on the computer as he rapidly tapped on the keys. "Horrible."
Jeanette gave the munk an agonized look. "Are you seriously more entertained by online poker rather than seeing a rodent sell chemically-inriched products for the cost of an arm and a leg?"
Jeanette wouldn't have known he even acknowledged her if he hadn't mumbled, "Sickening."
The Chipette sighed and gave a royal roll of her eyes just as the front door opened and her pink clothed sister scampered into the living room with Toby and his equally-as-infamous sister, Padamay, on her heels.
The elder Seville wobbily held several pizza boxes in his arms while his younger sibling jammed her way into the kitchen, iPod in hand.
"Hi, Padamay," Jeanette called.
"Drop it to the floor, make me wanna say-" Padamay paused her singing and swiveled around, her highlighted curls (Now a lovely shade of acid green) bouncing. She smiled and gave the Chipette an exuberent wave. "Hey, baby!"
Jeanette snorted and waved back while Toby jabbed his shoe into his sister's knees and shouldered her into the kitchen. It didn't take long to hear a "WHAM!" and Toby's echoing cry of pain.
"Hey, Dave!" Jeanette heard Padamay's muffled greeting through the walls, her ears flicking. "Whatcha doing? Checking your Myspace?"
"...Uh-huh, yeah, sure," Dave murmured off handedly.
Jeanette frowned.
"Dude, is that online poker?" Toby asked around a mouth full of sneaked pizza.
Brittany snorted and lithely coiled, then sprang onto the armrest and uncerimoniously flopped onto her back to glare upside down at the TV.
"I hate that munk," she growled. "With the burning passion of ten thousend Suns and two moons."
Jeanette raised an eye ridge and snorted.
"I'm serious!" Brittany fummed, pounding her fists against the couch. She flipped right side up, her eyes bright with anger. "That commercial was meant for me," she jabbed her thumb into her chest for emphasis. "And right when the contract was being signed, some STUPID blonde House Bunny Wannabe suggested Alvin."
"...Who suggested Alvin?"
Brittany sighed imaptiently, her eyes rolling in frustration. "Some rediculous Baribe doll with a fake tan worse than the chicks on Jersey Shore said that Alvin would be better for the commercial. I think she was the Producer's girlfriend, don't know, don't really care."
"I see," Jeanette raised her eye ridges higher.
"Point is," Brittany continued heatedly, "Is that the munk got my job and-and-and life isn't fair!" Brittany flung her head into her hands and proceeded to sob.
"Aw," Jeanette tried her best to sound sympethetic and failed miserably. Brittany glared sharply at her through her damp fingers.
Jeanette checked the wall clock and sighed, flipping off the television. As guessed, Simon seemed to not notice, and Brittany was far too busy renching sobs to really care.
"Hey, I was watching that!" Toby called from the kitchen.
"Toby, we're, like, two rooms away," Padamay stated flatly.
"I like the sound in the background," Toby said brightly. "Even if it is Jeopardy."
Eleanor scampered into the living room, her claws against the wood floor giving her away far before she could be seen. "Time for rules?" she asked, smiling a sweet little smile.
"Yep," Jeanette nodded. She flatly turned to Simon. "Si, we're gonna need the laptop now-"
"Uh-huh, totally, love you too."
Eleanor shrugged. "At least he loves you."
"Oh no," Jeanette said easily. "He was talking to the laptop, I'm sure."
"NOOOO!" Despite the walls, Dave's pained groan was clear.
"What is it? Did Rihanna deny your friend request?" Toby snorted.
"Just 'cuz she denied you-" Padamay started.
"No," Dave moaned. "Guitarbeast01 beat me!"
All three Chipettes slowly turned their attention back to Simon, who was doing a rockstar slide across the coffee table while doing an interesting air guitar.
Brittany's eyes were as flat as stale water as she turned to Jeanette. "And you make fun of me because of Alvin."
Jeanette groaned and threw her head into her hands.
Guidelines to the Sevilles
Rules #30-45
Jeanette's Rules:
Rule #30-Absolutely no more Moon Walking with shopping carts in Wal Mart.
(Padamay's a beast at it, of course, but she managed to run over Alvin in the process)
(The one time Toby actually did it right, he danced riiight into the jewlery counter)
(He was tazered by Wal Mart security guards for "disturbing the peace")
(Eleanor: "Since when is Wal Mart ever peaceful?")
(Brittany: "And since when does Wal Mart even have security guards? With tazers?")
(Jeanette: "Since Toby happened.")
Rule #31-No more Napolean Dynamite!
"Lucky!" (Jaxon, after seeing Padamay's new headset)
"Grandma just called and said you're supposed to go home." / "She didn't tell me anything." / "Too bad, she said she doesn't want you here when she gets back because you've been ruining everybody's lives and eating all our steak!" (Padamay, trying to get Toby to return back to ol' Grandma's house)
"You know, there's like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bow staff." (I'm sure that's true, Dave)
"Did you draw her a picture?" / "Heck yes I did!" (Jem and Jaxon, back when Jaxon was desperate to go out with Padamay, so he drew her a picture...of a goldfish)
(Padamay: "I like goldfish!:D")
(Jaxon: "I was not desperate. I was... lonely.")
(Jem: "Dude, you have, like, four brothers and sisters living in a house with one bathroom. It's impossible to be lonely, believe me, I've tried.")
Rule #32-Don't try to "Txt Talk" when texting Dave.
(Jaxon: hi D r u goin 2 mnk cncrt 2nite? Mnger wnts nue cble 4 mic. Btw Al wnts u 2 brng some twnkes & pad n tb ned a MS 2 hld off fgs.
(Dave: "...")
(Claire: "What's it say?")
(Dave: "I have no idea...")
(Claire: (Glances at phone) "Oh, tell him that yes we're going to the concert tonight, and yes, we'll pick up an extra microphone cable. Oh, and we'll also pick up some twinkes for Alvin and a meat stick for Toby and Padamay's attack on the fangirls... are you typing it?")
(Dave: "Um, I'm on the E in the first 'yes'.")
(Claire: "...Really?")
(Dave: "You know what, I'm just gonna call...")
Rule #33-"Jumping mushrooms" is banned.
(Basically, you jump no mushrooms. That's it.)
(It's pretty funny to see Toby do it (he got stuck munk-sitting one day), but then we realized he was allergic to mushrooms)
(Alvin: (Shoves Toby into the car and hops in the drivers seat) "Don't worry, Toby! I've watched Talladega Nights, like, five times. I got this.")
(Toby: "K-k-k-k-kill me...")
Rule #34-Don't make fun of Toby's bad pronunciation.
(Padamay: "Hey Tobes, where did you say those Paruvian peppers are grown in? I need it for my science report.")
(Toby: (Squinting at computer screen) "Ah, pepper, pepper, pepper... oh, found it!")
(Padamay: "Fascinating, read it.")
(Toby: "Says here that the Paruvian pepper is found in... South Amerika.")
(Padamay: "...")
(Toby: "Never heard of that place before. Maybe it's Canadian!")
(Padamay: "...")
(Toby: "...What?")
(Padamay: "SOUTH. AMERICA!")
(Toby: (Squints at the screen again) "...Oh.")
(Padamay: "You are such a noob.")
(Toby: "...Your mom's a noob...")
(Padamay: "Yours too, Toby. Yours too.")
Rule #34-"I scream, you scream, we all scream for-"
(Padamay: "STARSCREAM!")
(A word to the wise, don't question Padamay's Transformer obsession)
Rule #35-Bursting into random song is banned.
(Suprisingly, about everyone busted at the same time)
(Toby: "I feel a song coming o-")
(Alvin: "NO!")
(Toby: "Too late!")
(Jaxon: " 'Cause this is Thriller! HA! Thriller~!")
(Padamay: "Meoli bootuh balggeut ggaji hot issue!")
(Toby: "Ice, ice, baby!")
(Julie: "And I say na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, I got me a sugar daddy!")
(Dave: "...AAAAAAAAAAND I'M TELLING YOU! I'M NOOOOT GOIN'! YOU'RE THE BEST MAAAAAN I'VE EVER KNOOOOOOWN! THERE'S NO WAAAAY I CAN EVER GOOOOO!")
(Everyone: "O.O")
(Jaxon: "I give it an eight.")
Brittany's Rules:
Rule #36-No more Super Hero Squad for our beloved stagehands.
("Alright, Squadies! HERO UP!")
(They even have copywrited catch phrases!)
(Toby: "AMERICA!")
(Captain America)
(Julie: "HULK SMASH!")
(Hulk)
(Padamay: "WEB SLING IT!")
(Spiderman)
(Jaxon: "FLAME ON!")
(Human Torch)
Rule #37-Jump Roping is banned.
(Padamay invited Jaxon and his brother, Jem, over to SEVILLE FAMILY FUN DAY!)
(Toby invited Julie, not to shockingly)
(After jump roping for seventeen minutes straight)
(Jem: "I t-t-t-think my heart just s-s-stopped...")
(Jaxon: "Hah, hah, hah, I've BEEN dead...")
(Toby: (Panting like a dog, about to pass out) )
(Padamay: "No! Come on, Fatty! Keep jumping! KEEEEP JUMPING!")
(Toby: "Haaah, haaah, I ca... can' do it, Pa-")
(Padamay: "Yes, you can! PUSH! PUUUUSH!")
(Toby: "Puh... push? Wha'd ya mean, push?")
(Jem: She's lost to us, dudes. Ugh, moment of, ugh, silence.")
(Jaxon: "Hah, we, hah, should ask, hah, Simon if ya, hah, if ya body can melt in the, hah, hah, Sun...")
(Toby: Ha, doubt it. Julie's been, hah, at it for an hour.")
(Julie: "Gottawin. Gottawin. Gottawinwinwin!")
Rule #38-As it's been stated before, no more "Yo Mama" jokes.
(Toby and Padamay actually battled)
("Yo mama is so ugly, people go as her on Halloween!") [Padamay]
("Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her!") [Toby]
("Yo mama is so ugly that yo grandma had to tie a steak around her neck so the dog would play with her!") [Padamay]
("Yo mama is so ugly that... well... look at you!") [Toby]
("Yo mama-")
("PADAMAY MICHELLE AND TOBIN MATTHEW!") [Toby and Padamay's mama]
(Padamay: "Yo mama's gon' kill you!" (Runs out of the house) "BURN!")
Rule #39-Don't mess with Padamay when she's making pancakes.
(She kind of gets into it)
("Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, FLAP JACK!")
Rule #40- Padamay and Toby are no longer allowed to watch Pokemon in the mornings.
(Padamay, making eggs, points spatula at Toby)
(Padamay: "PIKACHU! I choose you!")
(I'm not even going to bother with Toby's Pikachu impersonation. I'm sure you can imagine.)
Eleanor's Rules:
Rule #41-Dave is no longer allowed to give us Chipmunks and Chipettes swimming lessons.
(Dave: "Okay, guys! Now we're gonna learn how to do the breast stroke!")
(Alvin: "The WHAT?")
(Brittany: (Groans and sinks down under the water) )
Rule #42-Alvin and Padamay, stop making dating profiles online for Dave. (He's married now!)
("Actractive exterminator looking for a good "catch".)
("Young, hot treasure waiting to be discovered.")
(Are you surprised Dave got no matches? -.-)
Rule #43-Toby is no longer allowed to inhale hillium. Not because it makes him sound hilarious, but it somehow makes him a little, ah...festive.
(Toby: "PICKLE JUICE! HORSE SHOE! YOUR MOM! JENGA, JENGA, JENGAAAAAAH!")
(Dave: "Remind me to charge up my Flip camera next time we blow up balloons.")
(Toby: "I'M GONNA BRAID MY HAIR!")
(Padamay: "Toby, you've hair isn't long enough to-")
(Toby: "THEN I'LL BRAID YOUR HAIR! GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE, NYAHAHAHAH!")
Rule #44- "I'm gonna sing the Doom Song! :D"
(NO, PADAMAY. No more doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, pleeeease.)
Rule #45-Humans (I say that because we can't do the following), do NOT squish bugs ANYWHERE near Toby.
(Seriously, give it about a five mile radius)
(Apparently all those video games gave him super senses, so he can hear you squishing the bug. Like, hear you squishing the insides, and the legs, and, yeah, bad stuff. I'm guessing it's not a very pretty sound, so, naturally, Toby flips when someone kills a bug.)
(One minute he's across the house playing F.E.A.R in his room, Padamay see's a spider in the kitchen and her converse gives it a high five)
(Next thing we know, Toby's screaming like a happy ax murderer and stumbling into the living room, where said spider is getting intimate with Padamay's shoe)
(Padamay: "What happened? Alma [creepy little dead girl] try to give you a hug?")
(Toby: "NO! Your SHOE did!")
(Padamay: "Say wha-?")
(Toby: (Lunges at Padamay) "ZUMBIYAJIKARIUAAAAAAH!")
(Padamay: (Casually steps to the side and Toby collides with the kitchen table) )
(Toby: "Oh...my...munking...guuuuh...")
(Padamay: (Grins) "You've just been Bazinga'd, big brother.")
Author's Notes: Can I get a what-what for eight pages? :)
ONE MO' THING: Set up a fresh poll for you guys. And take note! Padamay's name is spelled "Padmé" because, well, that's how it's actually spelled:) Back when I first created Padamay, I had no idea that was the wrong spelling, so I'll probably start spelling her name like that, IF I can find out how to put that little symbol thingy on top of the E:/ So, yeah. Yay for spelling!