Ok, so this one is a little shorter then the rest, but it still is really important.
Sam's POV
What am I going to do? Yeah, I'm still asking myself that. It's been a day and I still don't know what to do. Well I guess is should know since I'm currently lying on Quinn Fabray's couch with my head on her lap, but I just don't. I look over at the clock, its 5:30, and hour and a half before I have to pick up Mallory from the airport. I really have no idea what I'm going to say to her.
I can't just keep up this…this affair. Yeah, that's what it was, an affair. There's no other way to say it. Quinn hasn't said anything about it, I know she doesn't want to push me, but I can't help but wonder why she wouldn't. I shouldn't be such a dick here; I should make up my damn mind. Yes, I slept with another woman, who wasn't my wife, more than once. I doubt Mallory will even keep me after she finds out; but what if she doesn't find out? I look up at Quinn, who is looking at the television screen, not really paying attention to the Lifetime movie that's currently playing; it's just something to look at.
"Quinn…" I say making her move her eyes to look down at me. She looks at me and gives a small, fake smile. The typical Quinn Fabray smile, it's fake; it doesn't reach her eyes.
"Yeah?" she says running a hand through my hair, I reach over and take a hold of her hand and bring it up to my lips, kissing it softly.
"Talk to me Quinn, tell me what you're thinking," I say looking up into her eyes, holding her gaze so she can't look away.
"What do you want me to say Sam?" she sighs, looking away from me.
"I want you to tell me what to do," I say truthfully, sitting up and taking her hands, squeezing them gently.
"That's not my decision to make," she says looking down at our hands.
"Your decision will affect mine," I say taking her face in my hands so she couldn't escape my eyes.
"Isn't my decision obvious?" she says giving in to my eyes.
"No, it's not," I say truthfully, "my entire decision depends on yours." She looks at me and I see the hurt on her face, the emotion behind her earlier façade.
"I want you to pick me Sam," she says holding me hands that are on her face, "I want to be with you."
My heart skips a beat at her words, yes that can happen to guys too. "I want to be with you too, Quinn," I say releasing her face and pulling her to me in a hug.
"I love you Sam," she says burying her face into the crook of my neck, I hold her tighter. How was I ever going to leave her? I couldn't do it. And Mallory, could I just leave her? Ask for a divorce? What would my reason be? Irreconcilable differences? We were just fine before she left for Milan, could I really file divorce like this? She'd been gone less than a month and I've already cheated. Yep, I've cheated. Maybe a kiss wouldn't be considered cheating when you were married, but this was definitely cheating. There was no way around it.
"I love you too," I breathe against Quinn's hair, I wasn't going to leave her. I couldn't do it; I need her like I need air to breathe. I could care less about sounding cheesy right now.
I'm going to have to tell Mallory about Quinn; I'm going to ask for a divorce, I could find a way to do it, but is that what I wanted? I love Mallory… I love Quinn too. I just can't imagine Mallory not a part of my life; I swore I wouldn't be the one to hurt her. She had done nothing wrong, she was a good wife; any man would've died to have someone like her, but she chose me.
Damn, I feel like the world's biggest douchbag. Here I have two beautiful women, one being my wife, the other my lover; and I couldn't decide which one to chose. I don't deserve either of them, but yet here I am trying to make the biggest decision of my life.
I love Quinn, but will I still want to be with her when I see Mallory? Are these emotions just me missing Mallory or is this something more. I'm trying to follow my heart here, but my heart isn't giving me any answers here. My head's telling me to stop being such a pussy and just make up my damn mind. Could my life get any more conflicting? I highly doubt that I could.
I figure that in order to make my decision I need to see Mallory. I don't say anything to Quinn, maybe if I tell her that I'm having trouble making my decision she'll think I'm an ass and not even want me. That would make things easier, then again I'll be wondering 'what if' my entire life; that could go either way really.
I just sit there holding Quinn for a while, neither of us saying a word; the only sound is that of the TV in the background. I look over at the clock and see that it's already 6:30; it would take me at least 20 minutes to get to the airport from Quinn's apartment. I don't want to leave her though; I would be content in staying here forever, only if life could be the simple.
"Quinn?" I say, making sure she wasn't asleep.
"Hmmm?" she says against my neck, her hot breath washing over my skin.
"I should go, Quinn," I say, Quinn doesn't let me go, she just holds on to me for a moment before her arms loosen around my neck and she lets me go. She sits back and looks at me, her face emotionless. The look in her eyes breaks my heart and I know that it'll always be her that a chose.
"Quinn I chose you," I say, her face doesn't change, she give a sad smile and shakes her head. I look at her confused.
"Don't say that yet Sam, go see her and then if you still chose me come back, I've waited seven years for you, I can wait a little longer," she says and I lean over and kiss her, my hand behind her neck, holding her face against mine. I never ever want to leave her, I doubt seeing Mallory will change that. I pull away from Quinn and look at her.
"Nothing will change the way I feel about you, Quinn," I say before giving her one last peck on the lips and getting up.
"I'll be back," I say walking out the door and down to my car, ready to meet my fate.
The drive to the airport is silent, as silent as it can be. I can hear my breathing that it's so quite, the tiring running along the asphalt. I get to the airport in a short amount of time; it's about 6:50. I walk inside the airport and towards the terminal gate where Mallory's plane is supposed to land.
I walk into the terminal and wait over by where the friends and families of the passengers. I wait over by the corner and watch as the passengers walk out of the gate, running over to their family and friends, hugging and kissing. I suddenly feel guilty watching them. I see Mallory walk out bags in hand, her hair up in a high ponytail, she's wearing no makeup, with sweatpants and a sweatshirt; she still looks beautiful.
I see her look around for me; her eyes searching for me in the large group of visitors. I wave to her and as soon as she sees me her face blooms into a beautiful smile. My heart aches as she runs over to me, there's no doubt in my mind that I love her too. She drops her bags a few feet from me and jumps on me, wrapping her arms around her neck.
I laugh at her and smile, as much as I don't want to admit it, I really did miss her. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss the top of her head. This is going to be harder than I thought.
"I missed you so much!" Mallory says against my shoulder, pulling back to look at me.
"I missed you too," I say kissing her forehead. Mallory smiles and takes a deep breath.
"Sam I came back early because while in Milan I was feeling a little sick," she says and I nod telling her to continue, "so I went to a doctor and …I'm pregnant Sam."
The world seems to stop right then and there. She's pregnant. My wife is pregnant; we're going to have a baby. A baby; my baby. Whatever decision I needed to make was made for me; my feeling or emotions didn't matter here. All that matters is that baby.
"Sam," Mallory says, I haven't moved in a while; she's probably worried. It doesn't matter anymore who I want to be with or who I love more; I'm not going to abandon my child.
I do what comes naturally. I gather Mallory up in my arms and swing her around; laughing as she giggles. I finally set her down and kiss her; I'm going to be a daddy. I can see it already; if it's a boy I'll teach him football and get him into comic books, make him a dork just like me, if it's a girl I'll have to kill the many boys who are going to try to ask her out, I have no doubt in my mind that they'll be perfect.
"We're going to have a baby," I whisper, pressing my forehead to Mallory's.
"I know," she squeals, hugging me and giggling.
I hug her back, holding her for a few minutes, before pulling away. "Come on," I say putting an arm around her shoulders and picking up her bags, "let's go home; my wife and unborn child need their rest."
Mallory laughs and we both walk out of the airport. I can't help but think of Quinn; she's probably waiting for me. I know I would've gone to her if it weren't for the baby, but I've already cheated, but I'm definitely not going to be that guy who abandons his child and pregnant wife.
Mallory chats away about Milan during the ride home; but all I can think about is Quinn Fabray.
Then something hits me like a meteor falling from the sky. I didn't use a condom. With Quinn, those t I didn't use I condom. We had sex like five times in those two days and I never used a condom. Holy shit! What if Quinn is pregnant; I chose not to think about that right now. She might not even have been ovulating during this time, but the last time Quinn had unprotected sex was in high school and she had Beth nine months after. Raking a hand through my messy locks I curse at myself for being so irresponsible.
My life has already been as complicated as it could be in the last few days, Quinn being pregnant would make me the biggest asshole in the history of assholes. Knocking two women up at the same time; well Mallory should be a few weeks along by now, but Quinn…
I shake that though away. That would just be too much to comprehend right now. I have to tell Quinn about this, I don't want her to hate me, but she probably will either way. I just can't leave my baby, no matter how much I love her. I'm not that kind of guy. I decide to ask her to come by my office tomorrow so I can explain everything to her; I need to tell her face to face.
I just nod and listen to Mallory the rest of the ride home. When we get home, I walk over and help her out of the Escalade, picking up her bags. We walk inside the house and she goes upstairs, saying she has to go to the bathroom.
I laugh, pregnancy can be quite humorous. I make sure that Mallory is upstairs before pulling out my phone and texting Quinn.
To: Quinn Fabray
Hey Q, we need to talk. Come by my office tomorrow around noon.
- Sam
I put my phone away and carry Mallory's bags upstairs, cursing at myself for being a dick the whole way.
_SQ_
Quinn's POV
I look at the clock. I've already eaten dinner, tired of waiting for Sam. It's almost 8:30, if Sam was going to come back; he'd be here by now. All of a sudden my phone buzzes, I look down at the screen; it's a text from Sam. I read over the text; I know what he's going to tell me, he's going to apologize and say he can't do this because he's having a baby with that two-timing lying bitch. That's the only reason she came back early, they didn't have a sudden change of plans or anything because Brittany and Santana are still over their, they just sent me a picture.
To: Sam Evans
Ok, I'll be there. I know she's pregnant Sam.
- Quinn
I send the text. I don't know why I told him that I know she's pregnant. That's probably the reason he needs to talk to me, to explain to me how he can't leave his child. But it's not his child, but he doesn't know that. I don't care anymore. I don't care if I'm being Rachel Berry or if I'm not being empathetic. I'm going to tell him, I'm sick and tired of losing the people I love. I'm not going to lose Sam, I'm not. He deserves to know the truth, if I don't tell him he'll probably go his entire life thinking that that is his child when really its not.
I don't care if he gets mad at me for not telling him sooner; and if he doesn't believe at least I'll put some doubt into his mind. I'm going to fight for him; even if he doesn't fight for me and if I lose, if he still wants to be with her through all that so be it. I tried. I'm Quinn Fabray and I'm no longer going to let other people kick me around. I'm going to stand up for myself and fight for what I believe; I'm going to do what I should've done a long time ago.
All of a sudden my thoughts are interrupted by a sudden pang of nausea in my stomach. I jump up and run to the bathroom, depositing my dinner into the toilet.
Throwing up is not a pretty sight, its gross, but I doubt any one thinks it's beautiful. But this throwing up is violent, its not like that of food poisoning or when I threw up because I could still taste that man in the alley's tongue. This was different, but I can't quite recall what it really is.
Wiping off my mouth after vomiting everything in my stomach, I lean against the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I look a mess but who cares, its not like anyone's going to see me. I don't have to try and look good for Sam; he's not going to show up tonight.
I wash my face and open up my medicine cabinet for some Advil, when I see something in there that shakes me to the core: a pregnancy test.
I stare at the test for a while. I had bought it a long time ago, thinking that it would be good to have one just in case; never did I think that I'd actually use one. My mind goes back to the many times we made love, not one did I feel a latex rubber between us. Not once had I not felt him releasing inside of me. I should've been more careful, but in the heat of the moment you don't really think about that.
What if I was? What if I had a little baby growing inside of me? If I did, there was no doubt that it was Sam's; I haven't had sex with a guy before Sam since college. I feel my hands shaking as I pick up the pregnancy test. Words cannot describe how I'm feeling right now; as much as it has always been my dream to be carrying Sam's baby , this is not the way I wanted it to happen. In my head we'd already been married and living a perfect life full of love and passion; but we weren't even together, he thought he was fathering another woman's baby right now.
But if I was pregnant, I wouldn't be sad. Sure I'd be terrified, but with or without Sam, this baby is going to come into this world and I will be its mom. After Beth there is no way that I could bear handing over another one and why should I? I may not be as rich as Sam, but I could definitely take care of it.
But if I were with Sam, I can totally see him playing football with our son in the backward, or trying to break the arm of any boy who tried to ask our daughter out on a date. I smile at the thought; we could be a happy little family.
The thought of going through this alone is scary; it would be really hard not having him to support me. I take several deep breaths, I'm probably over analyzing it, and sure it may have been during those only three moths in the month when the chances of pregnancy are high; but the test still could still be negative. I swallow hard and open the box, pulling out the thick white stick.
Setting the pregnancy test down on the counter after I used it, I walked over to my bed and sit on the edge; burying my face in my hands. Could these few weeks get any more conflicting?
After five minutes I walk into the bathroom, breathing deeply as I pick up the pregnancy test. This day had just gotten more conflicting, because on the test is a big red plus sight. It's positive. I'm pregnant…
I know that I ended the last chapter of Love Has No Exception like this too, but nobody expected ths right? Well some people had a hunch.
So what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Let me know.
R&R
