Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephine Meyer no copyright infringement is intended.
Suggestion from koko23cat: Jasper sees a Civil War painting on a school field trip, that causes some issues.
A/N: Please note I have never seen the painting described in this one-shot, I was given a brief description that I played up on.
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"Please stay together," the teacher called loudly, his voice echoing slightly in the open hall all around the students. Jasper stared at the ground as they walked; occasionally glancing up to keep his bearing. Rosalie walked next to him on his right, her arm linked through his casually, with her head held high. It helped him to have physical contact with someone when he was in large groups, their calm steady emotions helped relax him and holding onto Rosalie was less suspicious then holding onto Emmett. Emmett walked on his other side watching broadly as they moved in the back of the class down the hall.
Jasper's eyes darted up again, quickly scanning the area to his left, grimacing when eyes traveled along the back of the boy in front of him, trying hard not to think of how easy it would be to snap his neck, then his eyes locked on a painting to his right. He came to an abrupt stop, causing Rosalie to stumble slightly, her heels clattering on the ground in an attempt to remain upright as he tightened his grip around her arm. Her head whipped up and around as her golden eyes narrowed in annoyance "What the hell, Jasper?"
"Sorry," he mumbled halfheartedly as he stared at the wall behind her.
Rosalie's annoyance shifted to confusion at his lax apology. Her fair eyebrows pulled together as she looked over her shoulder to see what had captured his attention. Her mouth dropped open slightly in horror as she looked at the painting. It was a picture of a boy-because really she could say he looked old enough to be a man- dressed as a confederate soldier covered in blood. His clothing was old, torn and stained with dirt and dried blood while his bayonet hung limply on his shoulder. He stood in pile of ruins; smoke bellowing from the ground into the blood red sky. His posture was listless, his eyes vacant of all emotion, an expression that only true hell could bring.
"You know him?" Emmett whispered under his breath, sounding just as engrossed with the picture as she had become.
Jasper stared at the picture for several seconds with a look of deep concentration seeming to try and answer the question himself. "I don't think so," he said finally not seeming to want to believe the words himself. He continued to stare as if he expected the soldier to come to life and object.
"You alright?" Emmett asked hesitantly as his eyes shifted between the painting and Jasper.
"I can't remember," he whispered so quietly it sounded as if he had not meant to say it a loud.
"You can't remember what?" Rosalie asked cautiously.
"What if I knew him?" he asked quietly as he leaned in, as if trying to get a better look at the picture. It would not help, with their eye sight he could see it just as well a foot from it in broad daylight, as he could from clear across the hall in the dark.
Emmett and Rosalie both looked at each other in concern before Emmett turned back to Jasper, shrugging his large shoulders "So what if you did?"
Rosalie could not fight the hiss that pushed past her own lips as anger coursed through her. Jasper whirled around and he wrenched his arm from her, glaring at Emmett, as if what he had said had greatly offended him.
"Mr. Cullen, Mr. and Miss's. Hale, what part of stay with the class do you not understand?" The teacher called from down the hall. Emmett and Rosalie both looked over at the their teachers exasperated face while Jasper turned and walked the other way. "Mr. Hale where do you think you're going?" The teacher asked as he started down the hall after him, his face flushed in anger. Jasper continued walking with his hands clenched tight at his side.
"Stop the teacher," Emmett said as he watched Jasper continued down the hall. "I'll deal with Jasper." Without waiting for a reply he turned and bolted after his brother easily catching up with his fast pace walking. "What are you doing?" He asked harshly before glancing over his shoulder to see Rosalie talking to the teacher.
Jasper ignored him, pushing open one of the doors and walked outside. He stopped just outside the door, his eyes darting around as he looked for an escape. "Come on Jazz let's sit down," Emmett said as he threw his arm around his shoulder. Jasper jumped slightly at the contact and looked over at him with panicked lost eyes before nodding his head.
"Alright, now what is going on?" Emmett asked with genuine concern, as they sat down on a near by bench. Jasper sighed as he buried his face in his hands, curled up as he sat completely still. "Jasper?" Emmett tried again when he refused to answer.
Jasper sat for several more seconds and just when Emmett was about to question him again he spoke quietly, "I'm forgetting."
"Alright we've established you have a bad memory," Emmett teased.
"Emmett!" Jasper snarled as he stood from his seat glaring down at him with a tight jaw.
"Geez," Emmett said as he held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry, but it's not my fault. All I've heard from you is 'I can't remember', you need to elaborate," he said as he lowered his hands.
Jasper stood military straight for close to a minute with Emmett staring him down making it clear he was not going to get out of talking with him. Finally conceding he lowered his head. "I'm forgetting things about the Civil War," he confessed quietly.
"What kind of things?" Emmett asked
"Mostly people," he sighed as he looked up to stare straight ahead. "Their faces seem to get blurrier with every passing year."
"Well, it's been over a hundred years, you're bound to forget things."
"They don't deserve to be forgotten!" He shouted as Emmett watched at loss on how to handle him. Jasper had learned to hide his own emotions well and never leaned on any of the family for support. He had yet to see an emotional breakdown, as it was something only Alice was allowed to see. He was certain they were bad though. He had been present for a few memory relapses, and small freak-outs, but Jasper never hung around for long, often disappearing after his short outbursts.
"No one deserves to be forgotten, Jasper, but that doesn't mean you should beat yourself up about it."
Jasper stood staring at the ground for a moment before shaking his head, his voice rough and quiet "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"Jasper," Emmett started to argue as he stood while Jasper turned to walk away. He was cut off from continuing their conversation as the class began to file out the door with the teacher glancing at them with a look of pity before leading the class to the bus.
Rosalie slowed in the back of the class as they both moved back to the group, ignoring the hushed whispers of their classmates. "I told him the picture reminded you of someone you knew that died," Rosalie informed them under her breath. They both nodded their heads as Jasper pulled himself up into the bus seeming lost in another world. Rosalie turned to look at Emmett "what's wrong with him?"
Emmet shook his head as he placed his hand on the small of her back, slightly pushing her up the stairs. Jasper slid into the back seat pressing, himself up against the window, staring out the dirty smudged plane glass. He paid no attention as Emmett sat down next to him while Rosalie took the seat across from them.
The ride back was quiet.
The bus screeched to a stop in front of the school allowing everyone to file off, Jasper stepped off the bus last surprise coloring his face for a microsecond before a smile twitched at his lips. Alice stood several paces in front of the bus, concern etched into her face as she smiled softly.
He lowered his head slightly as he walked forward while she moved towards him holding her hand out. He could not help smiling slightly, in his mind he was no longer standing in a parking lot, surrounded by hundreds of students, as the stench of exhaust hung thick in the air. For a moment he was back in 1948, in a small dinner in Philadelphia, surrounded by a handful of people, as the smell of rain, blood and coffee hung in the air.
Alice smiled as he took her hand, the familiarly of the moment clearly not loss to her as love and hope flowed through him. She squeezed his hand reassuringly then turned on the balls of her feet leading him through the parking lot. His boots scuffed along the asphalt as he trailed slightly behind her, his long steps equal to about two of hers. They ignored every hushed whisper as they continued through the lot, his head shooting up when he felt concern and pity. His eyes locked with Edward's, growling softly in annoyance causing Edward's eyes to drop as he got into the car. Alice tugged him into the back seat of the car sandwiching herself in-between him and Emmett. The ride back was quiet and tense as he held Alice's hand tightly, trying to stay focused on her positive emotions.
The car pulled into the driveway and before it could stop Jasper had the door open pulling Alice with him from the car. Alice moved quickly all but jogging to keep up with his fast paced walking as they moved off to the side of the house disappearing off into the forest. Once about a mile from the house he released her hand as he slowed his walk, dropping his bag on the ground. He sighed tiredly as he ran his hand through his hair, pressing his back against a large pine tree.
"Jazz?" Alice called hesitantly as she set her bag next to his. He groaned as he slid down the tree, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest. "What happened at the museum?" she asked gently as she sat down next to him.
"Nothing," Jasper said as he shook his head.
"You looked very upset,"
"You had a vision?" He asked looking down at her.
Alice nodded as she threaded her arm through his, resting her cheek on his shoulder "Your jaw was clenched, your fists were tight, but your eyes looked sad." She shifted turning her eyes up to his face. "Please tell me what happened."
He shifted to look straight ahead his jaw locking as his eyes scanned the forest. "There was a Civil War painting," he murmured clearly lost in thought.
"Oh," Alice said as her expression fell. "Did you see someone you knew?"
"No," Jasper said as he closed his eyes leaning his head back against the tree. "At least I don't think so."
"What do mean?"
He swallowed thickly trying to pull his arm from hers only to have her tighten her grip. He opened his eyes, glancing down to see her glaring with an eyebrow raised, daring him to pull away from her. "I'm forgetting the men I served with," he admitted grudgingly.
"I'm sorry," she said sincerely as she rubbed his arm, trying to relax him.
"They were good men."
"I'm sure they were."
"We were all so stupid," he laughed bitterly leaning back against the tree. "Thought for sure the war wouldn't last long, that we would be back in time for Christmas. Just a bunch of young stupid boys looking for our shot at glory and excitement before it slipped through our fingers."
"You were one of those stupid boys," she teased trying to brighten his mood.
"It's getting so hard to remember," he said as he sat back up clearly becoming restless.
"Why are you torturing yourself?"
"Because," he shouted through gritted teeth, pulling his arm from hers as he shot up from the ground. Alice let him go watching him pace agitatedly in front of her. "They were good men, brave men. They were hard working and we did what we had to do. They relied on me, and I let them down," he shouted completely hysterical as Alice shot up from the tree throwing herself at him and wrapping her arms around his waist.
"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" Alice shouted as she wrapped herself tighter around him. "You didn't let anyone down," she said sounding like she might cry as she looked up at him.
"I don't remember names and now their faces are disappearing. They were my brothers, men I thought I would know for the rest of life and I'm forgetting them."
"They'd understand," she said sounding like she was still choking back tears.
"How do you know that?" He asked as he shook his head in disbelief.
"Because if they knew half the man I know, they would understand."
Jasper reached up, cupping her cheek gently and ran the pad of his thumb along the skin under her eye. "I don't mean to upset you."
"Than please stop worrying," she begged. "Please, stop torturing yourself. You wont forget everything, not if you don't want to and some memories are better than none. As long as you remember their spirits, the fact that there were great men, even if their faces have long faded, you should have nothing to feel guilty about, because in a way they aren't forgotten."
He stood for a moment mulling her words over before speaking. "How is it that you know just what to say to make me feel better?" He whispered
"I'm your wife, its part of my job description," she said with a smile.
The corner of his mouth twitched slightly as he leaned down kissing the temple on the side of her head. "I'm sorry," he muttered against her skin.
"For what?" She asked in confusion.
He pulled back looking down at her guiltily, "I'm complaining about holes in my human memory when you have none to call your own."
Alice closed her eyes and shook her head, "Don't apologize." Her eyes opened, shinning with complete understanding "forgetting things is scary, maybe even harder than having no memories at all. You know you're losing something you don't want to and maybe I'm better off not knowing."
He smiled slightly as he brushed his thumb along her cheek "I wish I could brush things off as easily as you do,"
"I don't brush things off," she said as she reached up sweeping some hair from his eyes then cupping his jaw. "I just have wonderful memories, with an amazing husband to fill the void."
"I wish I could let go," he mused. "That I could let the past, stay the past."
"You will," Alice said confidently. "And I'll be here every step of the way."
"Good," he said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, "Because I can't do this without you."
A/N: This one was so much fun to write and I hope it met your expectations koko23cat.