Chapter Eleven:
Closed Door, Open Window
|i.|
The breeze from the east blew bringing with it the saltiness of the sea that crashed against the cliff beneath Noé. Gentle sunlight bathed her as the sun began to settle across the horizon of the ocean. A shoreline town not far away could be seen from where she sat, their houses specks of color in the distance like sea glass on sand. A breathtaking sight that never in a hundred years she thought she would encounter in this new world.
Suckling noises, gentle and quiet, came to her ears accompanied by Pernadius' breezy laughter. Emerald eyes turned to look at the two people she adored most. Pernadius, clad in much more casual clothes than his usual armor, cooed at the babe he held in his arms as they sucked on his fingers. Her little Elior at barely six months was the brightest little boy. Noé saw nothing of him that didn't resemble her; same auburn curls and bright emerald eyes that shone in the soft light as the sun set. And though some parts of his little body were malformed, compared to how Noé had been when little, these were the least of Elly's ailments. What she felt most conflicted about where the small pair of wings that protruded from his mildly malformed back, the stubs barely growing their feathers out. His the color that hers should have been supposed to be—a deep crimson with no gold to be seen.
Elior, in spite of the circumstances of his birth, displayed his Vastago heritage well. And Noé loved every last tiny part of her infant son.
"He's growing well. Have you had troubles with obtaining anything for him?" Sky blue eyes turned to Noé as Pernadius let Elly suckle on the pads of his calloused fingers.
Meeting his eyes for the briefest of moments, Noé's attention went to her son, reaching over to stroke his dark auburn head. "I haven't. And I have you to thank for that."
Ever since her rescue, Pernadius had been the only one to truly care about her wellbeing. He saw to it that she would be well taken care of in his home and assured her that she would have proper midwives to aid in her labor. His attentiveness astounded her; Noé couldn't begin to fathom what drove him to pay so much attention to her, a complete stranger. More so when it infuriated not only his councilmen but also his wife. Neither of them approved of her stay in the Alexius household and they were quite vocal about their opinions. Though Noé found them petty at first, their animosity soon pricked her to her core when they began directing their slurs to her son. Fortunately, their disdain for her was grounded on the fear of the unknown and Noé used that to her advantage to keep them at bay. She feared, however, that this would only stave them off for so long.
Which was why she thanked Pernadius' conscious choice to take her and Elior out for the day after his return from the frontlines. Seeing as he would be back at Reim for only a few weeks, Noé was enthused to spend some time with him regardless of how little that'd end up being. This little cliff was a beautiful place, according to Pernadius, that he found not long after Reim began to search north for land to expand to. But seeing as it was too far off from the city, it was left alone, it's splendor left untouched by human hands for anybody who came across it to relish on. But not even its brilliance took her mind away from the decision she had made and had yet to divulge to him.
Now is as good a time as any other.
"Nadi."
"Yes?"
"Do you remember the small forest not far from Reim to the northwest? The one you say you go hunting whenever you want to leave home to be alone?"
"Artemis' Grove, yes," he agreed, reminding Noé of the name of a goddess much renown to protect that forest by the light of the moonlight. "What about it?"
"A small cottage was there. I found it while taking Elly out for fresh air. Well..." Noé knew that she was just beating around the bush, but only because she didn't want to say what she had to. Reim had become a place she felt content at. And in spite of the hostility from a few, most treated her kindly. And kindness was something greatly underappreciated by many. It pained her to have to leave but as things stood, Noé felt it safer for her son if they distanced themselves from those who could not see eye-to-eye with her.
Or more to the point, with what she was.
"I restored it. Finished it just a week ago."
An idea seemed to revolve in Pernadius' mind, his sky blue eyes searching her emerald for what her words could possibly mean. It took him much less time than Noé expected it to. Almost instantly, she noticed the glint of his eyes disappear as he narrowed his eyes on her, brow furrowed in more concern than perplexity.
"You're leaving?"
"I have to." Reaching over to him, Noé didn't bother asking and took her boy back into her arms. Elior, restless at first at being taken away, relaxed realizing he was back against his mother's bosom. Noé held onto him tightly, resting his head against the crook of her neck with one hand while carding through his downish chick feathers gently with her fingers. "Though I'm sure I can protect us, I can't always assure that I'll be by Elly's side to do so. And I won't risk him for anything in the world."
"Noé, the palace is safe. There's nothing for you to be afraid of hurting Elly even if you're not there."
Noé could tell, even as he said this and from the way his brow creased down, that not even Pernadius believed his own words. After all, he knew his people, his own family and exactly how vicious they could be. Diana most of all now that she was with child as well. And Noé understood the banshee in some strange way. As a mother herself, she understood that her children would always come first regardless of everything else in the world.
"No, Nadi, it's not. And you know that." The soft breathing coming from her side told her little Elly had dozed off finally. He seemed to like having his feathers struck; it put him at ease. Something that she would never be able to feel with her own wing.
"I could talk to them. Make it so maybe life will be easier."
"It won't last long if you do." Slowly and carefully standing from her sit to keep from rousing Elior, Noé stumbled a bit on her feet with Pernadius quickly rising to his to catch them if she fell. Standing on her own just fine after regaining her balance though, Noé shared with him a reassuring smile. "And you don't have to try so hard. It's not like we're leaving Reim for good; we're not even that far from the city. You know Artie's Grove well enough to know that. And there, we'll be safe, especially with Scheherazade having offered to place a spell around the cottage too. For extra protection, she said."
That didn't convince Pernadius, his lips drawn tautly as thoughts ran through his head. But Noé's mind was set and nothing he could think of could change it. Knowing that, she started heading out to the small trail that would take them back to Reim's outskirts finding it time to put Elly to sleep.
"Then stay with me and I'll keep you safe."
The words struck her like lightning and halted her feet in their tracks. Chief wasted no time in intervening, the warmth from the arrowhead on her bosom touching Elior and making him stir in his peaceful sleep.
"Noé, don't."
You don't have to tell me.
Tempting as it was, Noé couldn't let herself be swayed by such prospect. In another time or life, perhaps Noé would have found herself accepting if only for however long his life would last. But now, she had another that needed her. Not to mention that he was a mere human. Between him and a Vastago—even a defective one like her—she knew that there was no contest to be had. Whatever he could provide, so could she. Definitely no contest at all.
Sparing a glance over her shoulder and simply giving him a glum smile turned his expecting expression morose as he stood defeated.
"We both have those who need and depend on us. They come before everything else. Even ourselves."
Taking a deep breath to let what Noé said settle in his head, the sullenness vanished after a moment and was replaced by a mockery of a smile. It held no candle to the brilliance of others. Resigning herself to her choice, Noé found no remorse in it. For Elior, she would abandon the world if that's what it took to keep him safe and happy.
Giving Pernadius her back, Noé made her way back towards Reim, pained but not stopping when she didn't hear him follow.
|ii.|
Deafening as the cheers of the crowd were, Noé cringed knowing full well that none of them were directed at her. It was obvious to anybody looking down at them from above that they were all applauding Alibaba who stood opposite of her in the colosseum arena, obviously perplexed at how they manage to arrive at such lengths. Not taken aback in the least, Noé simply tapped the toes of her sandals against the ground while eyeing her 'opponent'.
"I still don't regard this as anything remotely close to a good idea."
Dismissing Chief's concern with a roll of her eyes was all Noé could do that wouldn't give away the fact that she hadn't in fact taken her metal vessel into the arena. It wasn't to cheat, per se; she just didn't feel like being separated from her djinn anymore. The last time had been enough to last her a lifetime—perhaps an exaggeration on her part. It'd be more like a couple hundreds years or so before she did that again for sure, though.
You'll see the brilliance of it, Chief. Promise.
"Highly doubt that." Chief hummed deep in her throat, blatantly unamused by her confidence in an idea she had concocted but a few hours ago.
—{ii}—
"A match? Against you?!"
Noé beamed the brightest of smiles at Alibaba, the cheekiness of it tugging at the corners and threatening to turn it into a smirk. "Yeah! Isn't it exciting?"
"W-Well," Alibaba sidestepped from the large sabertooth that made its way across the room they were in, "I don't know if exciting is the word I'd use, exactly."
Though Noé was rather comfortable in this cramped space, the same couldn't be said about Alibaba seeing as he stood in the midst of the makeshift pen that a vacant room in the colosseum made for her sabertooths. Having won them in her first match there but having no proper place to keep them, Noé got permission somehow to harbor them there while she found a spot to settle them in. Good thing too because the sabertooth tigers that were spared had been but whelps. Though Alibaba, when told this, had a hard time believing her, Noé assured him that the four of them were indeed just tiger cubs. Sure, they were ridiculously big whelps but whelps all the same. And as such they weren't really bad just playful; they only needed some good guidance and someone that didn't treat them like garbage like the ringleaders of the colosseum did with their so-called beasts.
But before she could properly train them, Noé knew she'd had to get their respect. And she knew no better way to tame a beast than to treat it with kindness. So the week Alibaba spent recovering and even during the last week of their first lessons with Shambal, she spent treating the poor kittens to the spa of a lifetime. Though it certainly ended up taking longer than a couple of weeks with how stubborn they were about it. Thankfully, only the smallest was left and that gave her some leverage to work with.
"How—Skata, stay!—how come?" Struggling somewhat with the youngest cub of the litter, coincidentally the only boy, Noé patted its head down as she attempted to file the large feline's claws down a little. Alibaba couldn't peel his amber eyes away from the tiger that complied with Noé's curt command, its head lowering to the other side and letting her peacefully file its paw.
"Not to sound rude but Noé-san is kind of intimidating."
Appreciating his honesty, she nodded in agreement, the movement catching Skata's attention enough for him to lick at the back of her bobbing head. "Good thing you realized that! Shows that you've got a good survival instinct in your little blond head. But you shouldn't let that discourage you from trying!"
"No, it's actually more discouraging with what you just said," he responded, finding it hard to believe that she couldn't quite grasp his predicament.
"But you got what old man Shambal said, didn't you?"
Alibaba couldn't do much more than nod in response to that question. She knew they both had. During the last week that they had trained together in magoi manipulation with Shambal, they learned a bunch of stuff that, although not new to Noé in concept, was fairly modern where actual application was concerned. Alibaba had struggled at first like her but somehow got a hold of the technique faster than he should've. It peeved Noé that in spite of the countless years she'd roamed the world that she couldn't master one measly little skill. But Shambal instantly saw why with a prompt look at the flow running through her body. Tumultuous. Like a tornado ravaging through a field at a painstakingly slow pace. Noé certainly felt that anytime she tried handling it in any kind of way. Shambal said that as it was, it could take her considerably longer to master the art. And though Noé couldn't think of any particular reason why, aside from her seal, but the old man, true to his expertise, had a couple of plausible explanations.
Magoi could be affected by a large breadth of things. "Most commonly," he told them both, "it's a gradual change that happens as one grows, the ki—or in your case, magoi's constitution is different for every human at different stages of their life, so as it changes it can clash against its own kind. Though rare, fusion of differing kinds of magoi can also disrupt its normal flow. And also, if the mind and heart are plagued with jarring negative emotions such as extreme hatred, pain, or remorse, it could also drastically change its characteristics."
None of those sounded right to her. First off, though still growing, she was way past her fledgling years as it was. There wasn't any other kind of magoi in her aside from her own and whatever rukh Grace of Sunlight sucked in, and even that didn't really matter since it only brought compatible magoi to hers into her body. As for negative emotions… Noé knew well enough what falling into depravity looked like and no way in hell was she gonna let that happen to her. All things considered though, she couldn't deny that there wasn't something heavy stirring within her. And whatever it was disrupted her focus for learning this damn thing.
"What can I do about it then?"
"Perhaps control through force might be a way to help you control it."
Control through force. Though he didn't explicitly say anything regarding it, Noé could make her own ideas about what his words meant. And fighting under pressure was one thing she was damn good at doing. And though the control part escaped her for a few days, deliberating it with Ezio and Cy gave her some insight on what it could mean. "An unruly force has no set route to follow—it is what makes it wayward. But if presented with another that was similarly unfettered but is now restrained, yours could possibly find a frame of reference to base itself on."
Decoding that whole gibberish gave her the idea she held now. Fighting against one who had a similar problem to hers. In other words, Alibaba Saluja. Though his problem wasn't exactly like her own, it was close enough to work as reference. And that was good enough for her.
—{ii}—
Noé traced paths on the sand beneath her feet as they waited for the announcing to commence. It had been an out of the blue request for Shambal by his look of bewilderment, but one he welcomed with a boisterous laugh and open arms. With a couple of weeks of training under their belts, regardless of their individual progress, he wished to see what it could do in battle. So he agreed, stipulating one rule and one rule alone.
Use only magoi manipulation. That meant no djinn weapon-equip from either of them and no magic casting for her. Noé agreed without a second thought. Alibaba had hesitated slightly before agreeing in the end.
Now in the midst of the roaring crowd and the announcement of their names as they stood in the middle of the heated arena, Noé danced from one feet to the other excitedly at the prospect of her fight against Alibaba. She had seen him in battle only a few handful of times. Never put any actual attention to him though. It would be a new experience for her to fight the gold-headed boy and she relished in new experiences.
"Ready?" Noé adjusted the quiver of arrows that hung by her hips, her arms stretching as she strung the bow in her hands. Recurved bow and daggers had worked last time—and no point fixing what wasn't broken—so she went with it. Alibaba went with a simple sword, one with a longer reach than his metal vessel. But for what it was worth, it'd have to do.
Alibaba chuckled, the nervousness clear in the slight quiver of his voice. "I suppose so."
"Come on," she said playfully tossing one of her own daggers from one hand to the other, "This is really for my benefit, so don't worry about getting too hurt. You know I need you alive, right?"
"Comforting." The meekness that he posed before suddenly vanished as he took his stance, one arm tucked behind a straight back. Those wayward eyes focused on her as a smile played on his lips. "But I'm taking this seriously, Noé-san. You're not the only one learning to better themselves. So I'll be in your care."
His ferocity ignited her own and a feral grin came across her face as she took a firmer grip on the dagger. "Same kid." Without warning, Noé dashed in, lowering herself as close to the floor as she could.
Let's test these waters, shall we?
Bringing the dagger up, her emerald eyes watched carefully as Alibaba brought his sword in place to parry her blow. It was swift and without hesitation. Practiced. He knew what he was doing. Noé's grin widened as she leaped back to charge at him again. Raining down blow after blow, Alibaba expertly parried most and only dodging out of the way of a few. Noé was no swordswoman, but she knew a damn good one when she saw one. And that, accompanied with his young age, astounded her.
"You're pretty good, Ali!"
"Thank you!" Parrying her last attack, he deftly took a step forward quick enough to disarm her of the dainty dagger. It went spiraling off into the air and too caught up to not be in its trajectory when it landed, Noé only stepped back away from his sword when she felt it nick at her arm. It shouldn't have hit, it shouldn't have even touched her, but the split glimpse she caught of his blade told her why it had. Coating the edge of the blade was a thin line of magoi, sharper than any steel.
Her grin widened as she skidded to one side, his gall feuling her own as she felt the bit of warm blood trickling a little from the cut. "Cheeky, aintcha?
Alibaba adjusted his hand around the handle of his sword, his grip turning white. "I told you I was serious about it."
"Alright then." Taking her bow and an arrow in hand, Noé put it in place and held the weapon leveled at her hips. Let's give it a try.
"Concentrate but don't think about it too much." Though contradictive, Noé now understood a little bit more about what made that good advice. Magoi wasn't something tangible that could be controlled entirely. What they meant by control was more along the lines of guidance. But that persuasion couldn't be too forced or otherwise it'd go haywire on its own. A fine line between control and guidance, Noé thought of it more like coaxing it.
"Rukh are sentient, my little sparrow." Her meistras kind words came to mind, her slender fingers caressing the air where she could see those tantalizing birds that Noé couldn't. "They are fickle in their emotions but to those it gives its love, it does so unconditionally. And to those it does listen to it is because they hold the rukh in high regards, not as an object of power but as the lifeform they are."
I know you're there. I know it's gotta be quite noisy inside me, but if you could, would you mind just...listening? Just for a little bit.
It felt odd how the flow through her body listened for once. Even stranger that Noé could tell that it was just the slightest of changes. Like pricking a finger to let the smallest drops of blood through the punctured skin. But that little bit of magoi was as much as she could control, lining the edges of her arrows with it.
Not wanting to lose her concentration, Noé sprung forward, hand laying still on her nocked arrow and bow as she charged at Alibaba. Said boy stood at the ready with his blade held to the level of his chest, amber eyes narrowed to watch her movements. Moving deftly through his field of vision, she took a step forward into his line of attack without regards. Alibaba took the chance to attack, springing with his left foot forward in a clear stab. But not quickly enough. The brief moment before his lurch gave Noé enough time to read his attack and sidestep to bring her bow and arrow aloft, already strung back taut. Letting it fly so close to his face, Alibaba had no chance to avoid it but tried anyway. Missing the shoulder with which he held his sword, the arrowhead struck at his healed arm. Blood trickled down his fair skin and tan clothes, marring them a stark crimson. His hand flew to the arrow to tear it off but at yanking, Alibaba grimaced when it wouldn't dislodge.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Amber eyes whirled to her smug smirk and strayed to the new arrow she held in her hands. Though faint, he could see the bright golden line coating the edges of the head and how it filed into small hooks in a line. "It'll only make it worse."
"You figured it out?" he asked, opting instead to break off the rest of the arrow to free his movements as much as possible.
"Somewhat." Noé nudged at his sword, the more than obvious line coating the whole of the blade and shining in the morning sun. "Still not as much as you though."
"Enough, I'd say." Ailaba lifted his sword once more to take his stance but Noé could see his arm tremble from time to time from the injury.
"You're cruel."
Hey, I aimed at his shoulder, okay? It's technically his fault for dodging.
Regardless of that, she was almost certain what being lenient with him would accomplish. And she didn't want to be looking down on him. Alibaba wanted to improve. And scorning him like that would not do him any good.
"Let's put some more back into it then!"
Noé shot away with reckless abandon at Alibaba who could do nothing aside from dodge at the distance she put him at. The only times she darted forward to parry with him and recover her arrows didn't give him much time to attack either. Speed being her forte helped this time to worm her way in and out to keep volleying him with coated arrows. But as she sprung forward once more to recover them, Alibaba beat her to the punch and lurched at her with his blade leading. Skidding to one side, Noé failed to notice his faint or the way the hand behind his back struck from hiding with the blade she'd lost before. Too busy worrying about which to avoid, she stepped back only to fall for both feints as Alibaba sunk to the floor to swipe her legs from underneath her. Without hesitation, he raised the dagger and swung it down with force into the drape and through the ground to pin her in place.
But just then a shrill cry escaped her lips as the blade caught more than just her clothes. Through the blade, Noé's frantic mind realized the scarlet seeping through.
"Noé—"
"N-Noé-san!?"
"Stay away!" Her voice quivered, the pain running along her spine too much to keep reined. If he came any closer, she couldn't assure herself she wouldn't mindlessly attack. Rules be damned. This pain—this kind of harrowing, spine-splitting hurt—bled her brain dry of any rational thought. But she knew not to lash out at him. Alibaba didn't know any better.
For his sake, that better be the true.
Shaking the sordid thoughts away, Noé's shaky fingers curled around the hilt of the dagger, her knuckles a ghastly white as they tightened around it. But even being as careful still sent the strike of electricity up her spine that throbbed at her head.
"Noé-san." His voice quieted to the back of her mind with the pain taking the spotlight. It only dawned on her that he was too close when she felt his presence behind her. And with the pain throbbing at her wing, Noé reacted on instinct.
Alibaba yelped astounded by her clutching down onto the front of his clothes to bring him closer. But before she could do anything stupid and that she'd most likely regret, Noé shouted at the top of her lungs, her intent clear from the sheer volume of it.
"I forfeit!"
The whole colosseum fell deadly silent at her declaration. Not caring about it, she forcefully shoved him away from her before turning to the dagger still pinning her wing to the ground like some sick display. Grinding her teeth to keep from screaming only let a forced grunt out as she yanked the dagger to throw it aside. Thankfully, there wasn't a chance for anybody to hear that with the whole of the crowd jeering at her for what she said. Noé couldn't have cared less though as she picked her limp wing, drape and all, in her arms and stood to leave. A couple of the guards situated at the exits tried stopping her—bad idea—but before she could bite their heads off, Alibaba stepped in, telling them to let her pass. If his warning didn't do the job, then the scowl Noé had surely did. They let her pass without another word to leave the rowdy crowd behind her.
—{ii}—
"I'm so—"
"If you say you're sorry one more time, I'll sic my tigers on you."
Alibaba froze at the threat, eyeing the said sabertooths that lazily lounged on the other end of the room. Though he had his back to her as she requested, Noé could still feel how he oozed remorse and concern. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, that much was clear, but he had. And she wanted to hurt him bad for that. But Noé held herself back, not wanting to do that to the boy. Alibaba, for as much of a mess as he was, was a good kid. And he didn't deserve to die at the ripe age of sixteen because she couldn't keep her temper in check.
He hurt you.
"...he didn't mean to."
"Noé-san?"
"You didn't hurt me that bad." A lie but without him looking at her it was easy to keep that underwraps. "Just got my thigh is all." A plausible lie since her leg had ended up hidden behind her when she fell back.
"Then the forfeit?"
"I didn't feel like fighting without giving it my all." Hidden by her drape, Noé took a gander at her wing. The damage wasn't that bad now that she looked at it. The blade pierced the tip of it, the blood matting the feathers together to a smooth end. Parting through them, she saw the blade's path—a thorough hole, end to end. That'll need stitches. "You're trying to better yourself and I should be a good adult and help."
"What about you?"
"Learning under old man Shambal is good enough. Plus, fighting you let me in a little on how to properly manipulate magoi."
"You mean the tips of the arrowheads."
"Precisely."
Noé listened to his shuffling feet behind her. "At least one of us is getting somewhere then."
The dejected way he said that caught her attention. Turning to peer at him over her shoulder, her emerald eyes fixated on the back of his golden head. "What do you mean?"
"Well…" The hefty sigh he let out slumped his shoulders and his head hung for a good minute before he continued. "For as much as I'm progressing with magoi manipulation, I'm still no good with djinn equipping."
Emerald eyes blinked owlishly at his confession. "You can't...djinn equip?"
Spotting the red tint on the tip of his ears, she could guess that this was quite embarrassing for him to admit too. Alibaba rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly before saying, "I came here because I was told that the Shambal could help me with the irregularity of my magoi. And that once that was fixed, I could properly work on my djinn equip. But...it's fixed and I'm still having trouble with it."
So that's why he's really here. Somebody should've taught him patience though because djinn equipping was an odd subject. She knew that depending on what sort of person they were, it could come as easy as breathing while others would have to struggle months or even years to get it. Directionless anyway. But someone with boundless knowledge on the subject could lessen that time greatly. Even for someone as pessimistic as Alibaba.
"Then I'll teach you."
Hiding her wing from view as a ruckus blew out behind her, Noé turned halfway on her chair to find Alibaba standing with the stool strewn beneath him and amber eyes wide as saucers. Stuttering unintelligibly, Noé felt her smile widen at how adorable he was.
"Are you sure about this?" Chief's question carried with it some sense of warning. One that she disregarded. "You'll be here longer if you anchor him to you."
I owe the kid after the spook I gave him. Besides, it won't be long with how I teach things.
Chief's somber tone flipped as a low, mischievous chuckle rumbled through Noé's mind. "You might be correct for once on something."
"You? Teach me?"
"Don't think I can?" One eyebrow raised was enough to send Alibaba into a mess of stutters.
Soon enough he managed to recover and after a bit of thought, smiled with a nod. "If you'll take me then."
"Great," she mused, eyes bright and smile wide. Leaving settling things for another day, Alibaba dismissed himself and left quickly thereafter with a glint in his eyes shining with prospect. It was clear as day that he wanted to learn. And if he was willing to, she'd be willing to provide a way.
Besides, how can I say no to little princas' king candidate?
"You're doing it for him?"
"For both, Chief. They're good kids." Better than any other king candidates she'd met over the years.
Taking her wing in her arms, Noé ambled over to the nearest table where she kept the medical supplies. Thread in hand and wound cleaned up, she busied herself with stitching it, but at doing so, her mind wandered to a similar scene only a few weeks old now. The thought of Muu and the other Fanalis overcame her mind and she reached up to caress the healed cut on the edge of her right ear. A sick feeling sunk in her stomach and a grimace settled on her lips as she set it aside to mend the tip of her wing. As she sat in a blissful silence sometimes interrupted by the playful chuffing of the sabertooths, Chief butted in, her voice calm and collected to not rile her further.
"I didn't intend to ask but I must admit that I am curious. Why have you refused to return?"
"They freaked me out."
"How?"
Plenty of ways. What stuck out most to her was their blatant disregard for the danger she posed. Noé simply couldn't understand how blind they could be to not see what her happy-go-luckiness hid. Many others had found something wrong with her vivaciousness through the years. Uneasiness, fear, and alarm were the ones most tangible and she counted that as a blessing. That kind of apprehension kept them on their toes, it kept them at bay, and it kept them as far away from her as possible.
But the red lions weren't deterred. In fact, Noé felt almost too welcomed and that sickened her. It knotted her stomach and tightened her chest making it harder to breathe at the mere thought of it.
You did this to me.
Chief said nothing, thinking silence would save her the lecture. It wouldn't.
"You and your damn conclave."
"It was a matter of survival."
"No, it was a matter of injecting so much hatred and bigotry into us that we wouldn't question anything. Not even killing each other."
"Children. So susceptible. So compliant."
Yanking the thread off after finishing made Noé flinch but even that felt better than the rage that started to boil in her. Not wanting for it to overtake her like it usually did, she gently set her wing behind her, the burden of it weighing her back to sitting straight. Picking up the drape, Noé busied herself with mending the tear which was much easier than mending flesh on a wing. Within minutes she was done and wore the drape properly for once, the ribbons of the obi tied dully to keep it from opening.
Just as she finished tying the silk around her hips, a large head bumped into her arm and made her turn down to meet the large eyes of the young whelp. Chuckling, Noé stroke Skata's head and the rest, seeing it safe to approach her, joined in. It struck her as fitting that she welcomed comfort more from animals more than from humans. Animals didn't lie. They lived on instinct and with purpose. In those regards, they were a whole lot better to be around than people. Coveting some kind of warmth, Noé laid back against Skata as the large whelp laid and curled around her. The other three kittens were about to join when their growling took her by surprise. Opening her eyes and peering towards the entrance of their room, Noé groaned deep in her throat at seeing the mane of red that meandered towards their little alcove.
Why the hell can't I be left alone when I want to be?
The minute he stepped into the dim light from the torches perched onto the walls of their room, Noé let out a grumble without restraint.
"Leave."
Muu didn't heed her words. Like he hadn't even heard her. But he had. Noé knew just from the way his lips curved up slightly into a small smile. "I was worried when I saw what happened."
"Of course you were," Noé distracted herself and kept from raising her voice by carding her fingers through Skata's fur. The tiger chuffed, leaning his head into her hand but his eyes never left Muu as if warning him to stay where he stood. "Had to make sure I wouldn't kill anybody, after all."
"I was worried about you, actually."
Her chest tightened and a snarl formed on her lips. "Do me a favor and don't lie to my face."
"I'm not."
Skata growled deep in his throat, his whole body rumbling under her hand as his sisters joined him. Emerald eyes lifted from her tiger to watch as Muu took a few steps closer to her. Eyeing the three sisters approaching from the other side of the room, Noé snapped her head at them, barking at them with the pent up ire in her. "Clotho, Lachesis, Atropos; down." Their snarling stopped briefly as all three focused on her. With a clear motion of her hand to emphasize her words, all three lowered to the ground completely but slowly while keeping their eyes trained on Muu. Skata was the only one she allowed to growl as Muu kept an eye on the tigresses before turning to her.
"They've been asking about you, you know."
Her eyes went askance, instantly recognizing what he was talking about. "Been busy."
"By the looks of it, you have." Muu dropped down to a seat on the barren ground to which Noé quite noticeably groaned at yet again. "And you don't quite seem happy to see me here."
"Quite frankly, no, I'm not." Not meeting his gaze, Noé chose one spot on the broken wall across from her to focus on as she continued. "But while I'm being frank about things, you sicken me."
She almost heard how the air left him as if he'd been punched in the gut by one of his own. "...what?"
"I can't understand how you neglect the safety of your kind, or how they disregard their own safety by all means, just because they think I'm strong or worth keeping around. I'm dangerous; you might not see that and I might not look it, but I am. And the sooner you accept that, the easier it'll be for everybody." Especially for you.
"Noé...don't do this again…"
I don't know what you're talking about.
But she did. She knew exactly what Chief was talking about. Feeling welcomed here or anywhere else wasn't something Noé wanted. She didn't want to feel like part of anything or anybody. She never again wanted to have everything and have it stab her in the back, or worse...lose it. It happened too many times to count and she still refused to learn the lesson. Not this time. This time, Noé wouldn't let it catch her off guard. This time, she would keep them as far away as possible to not risk suffering like that again.
Muu's calloused fingers drummed against his thigh as he sat pensively staring at the ground. From the corner of her eyes, she saw those crimson eyes turn soft for a moment before a smile spread across his face.
"I find the best of people often degrade their own worth the most."
How is he so damn positive?
"Not me."
"Lady Scheherazade doesn't think that."
"She doesn't say it," Noé corrected him, finally turning to meet his gaze. "She definitely thinks it. No doubt in my mind about it."
"The boy from the lab, Maahes—"
"An orphan boy I picked up along the way. Nothing more than a stray pup."
"The other Fanalis—"
"They barely know me."
"I—"
"And you're a nosy little cub who should learn when he's stepping over the line." Her deadpan finally shut him up and he pursed his lips into a taut line. Tired of the argument, Noé scowled at him, her eyes turning dark as they narrowed on him. "Besides, you have no reason to care. Not about what happens to me or what I do. My business is mine to mind as is yours to you. So do me a favor and stop sticking your damn nose where it doesn't belong and where I don't want it. And I suggest you do that fast before I decide to bump Reim up on my list. Starting with Scheherazade."
That struck a chord. Hard. Muu sprung from his seat faster than she could see. And though it was expected, Noé couldn't have prepared for the glare he sent her way. Crimson eyes threatened her with a mere glance and the gentle facade he wore melted away letting the ferocity of the Fanalis shine through. That's it, she thought feeling something rip within her as a tinge of remorse fell into her stomach like a ton of lead, that's exactly what you should've done from the beginning.
"You were right." His voice dropped to a baneful octave, those red eyes drawn exotically by their markings doing their job of making how they narrowed on her look all the more menacing. "I thought I could at least change your mind, make you see that you just need some help to find the best in you and abandon this insane pursuit of yours. So you could make peace with Lady Scheherazade and at least sustain a normal conversation together with her. Maybe even rekindle the old friendship she speaks so fondly of. But I was wrong to think that. "
"Had you listened to me before, you would've saved yourself time—"
"But you know what the saddest thing is? That you can't accept your vulnerability like she does. She knows it exists and at least allows others close to her to stand beside her when she needs them—she knows she's only human regardless of what she is. But you?" His narrowed eyes softened then and the ire from before that fueled his tirade changed to something she hated even more: pity. "From just listening you spit out the same backward ideas, I can tell you don't want to let anybody near you because it'll be troublesome. You'd rather be safely alone than take the risk of letting others close to you—
And it saddens me because I don't think you're as bad a person as you think you are, Miss Noé. But I realize now that no matter what I or anybody say, you won't ever notice what you don't want to see."
With those morose words left in the air, he left, his heavy footsteps echoing through the stone walls of the room. But after he was long gone, Noé still heard his words, repeating and echoing in her head endlessly on loop. They struck her like knives with each repetition, each assertion twisting the blade deeper and deeper into her chest and tightening her throat shut. It wasn't like she had any retort to his words. From just hearing them, Noé garnered the same thing she had from what many others before him had said. All different words said in different ways, but always with the same underlying message.
Noé wasn't alone because it was safer. She was alone because it was easier.
They couldn't hurt her if she didn't care about them to begin with. Coincidentally enough, a lesson that although consecrated on the very soil of Reim, was one she learned long before her time there. Even still, Noé couldn't help the painful stinging that came to her eyes as warm tears spilled over to roll down her cheeks. Hiding her face into her arms, she sobbed into them, quietly at first then louder and louder until she could feel her throat burn from it.
But just because it's easier doesn't make it any less lonely.
|i.|
Festive lights broke through the dark of the night like thousands upon thousands of fireflies that illuminated their revelries. Many drank themselves beyond consciousness while others ate their fill of the delicacies scattered about. Vivacious music rung about loudly, her ears catching every bit of laughter that sprung from the crowd with bits of conversation scattered here and there. Nothing intelligible, though she didn't listen to gossip. Noé viewed and overheard the festivities to have a taste of their carefreeness and happiness without having to be a part of it.
A habit that was hard to break, this one. And it wasn't hard to see why when her aunt had so painstakingly engraved it with every punishment she dealt.
Always apart from but never a part of.
"Hello, little sparrow."
Noé jumped in her skin at the sweet, silken voice of her meistras, and her emerald eyes darted upwards to meet hers. The woman smiled, hair spilling over one shoulder as she bent forward to meet Noé's gaze. "M-Meistras? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be down there with everybody else?"
A low sigh came through her nose as her eyes wandered from the festivities back to her. "It is tiring after some time to be surrounded by so many other people. Sometimes one has to take their time to breathe by themselves." Motioning down to the perch Noé sat on, she said, "Is this seat occupied?"
Though she mumbled incoherently at first, Noé shook her head as she scooted over despite there already being more than enough space for her meistras to take. Not minding her muttering, the tall woman took a seat beside her, smoothing her skirts before staring off into the crowd below their shared perch. She leaned to the side then, tilting her head Noé's way to say, "I would ask you whether you're here doing the same as I, but I already know you haven't gone once down there to celebrate with them. May I ask why that is?"
Blinking away the lights that flooded the night around them, Noé lifted one of her feet to rest her chin on her knee while keeping an eye on the festivities below. "I'm not too wild about celebrations. Or maybe saying I'm not too keen on being around others would be more accurate."
Her meistras hummed, not needing to ask any further questions to comprehend what she meant to say. Allowing themselves to watch in silence for a moment, she took a deep breath to prepare to say something.
"I know how it can be to look across what you thought was an unending ocean to find land you haven't seen before. Especially how overwhelmingly exciting...and frightening it can be in equal measures when all you have known is nothing but the solitary island you have been stranded on for the whole of your life."
Reaching for her other leg, Noé brought them both closer to her chest to bury her face on them. Anything to avoid seeing what she had so desperately wanted all her life to have only to be too afraid to cease it now that it was right in front of her eyes. The soothing touch of her meistras hand stroking circles across her back eased enough of that uneasiness to let her speak between broken sobs.
"I can't do this, meistras. I don't think I can do this again." Her chest hurt with every breath she took and her sobbing suddenly turning more forcible only made each one that much more painful. "W-What if they're just like Theone and mother? What if once I'm not needed they'll just throw me away too?" Short auburn waves bounced with the shaking of her head, the strands brushing back and forth across her shoulders. "I can't. I don't want to hurt like that again."
I don't want to be abandoned.
"My sweet Noé." Hearing the way she said those words, so serenely and comfortingly, made Noé lift her teary eyed gaze to meet with hers. Her eyes showed the same kind of solace her words and smile offered as she reached down to take one of Noé's hands into her own and held it tenderly in hers. "I think the better question you should be asking yourself is—"
"What if they're not?"
|ii.|
Noé laid sprawled atop Skata, the tiger whelp standing in place as his owner groaned and buried her face into the back of his neck to muffle the sound of it. Each subsequent whine became louder and louder until Chief sighed at the back of her head.
"I know I'll regret asking this but...what's wrong now?"
"I don't want to do this."
"Why are you here then?"
"Because I want to do this."
Incomprehensible grumbling ensued, Chief's irritation more than palpable from the growing ache at the back of Noé's head. "Contradictory as you may be about it, this is by far the one thing I can agree is smart on your part."
"Thanks."
"That being said, I'm also inclined to tell you that you're doing it in the stupidest way possible."
"You are simply the best motivational being ever. Have I ever told you that?"
"Plenty of times. Now—" Chief took a deep breath to settle her thoughts before continuing, "Get over yourself and go already!"
Though she agreed with Chief, Noé just couldn't bring herself to do it—there was no way to casually walk into those barracks where the Fanalis corp was like nothing had happened. Like I didn't get their leader pissed off enough to hate me. Another week had gone by after that whole little debacle with Muu and during those seven days, Noé couldn't deny the fact that she had been miserable. Any place that reminded her even the slightest of him brought back just how awfully she had been to him; the fact she was staying at his place made it all the worse. Despite everything that she said, Noé knew the red lion cub to be a decent person; for all she knew he was really just trying to help her. She hadn't meant to be so harsh. But the self-sabotaging piece of garbage she was, she'd gone and done exactly that. Seven days was a long time to think about things and Noé came to the conclusion halfway through them that perhaps she had messed up. Big time.
That small ember of remorse burned more and more, and within a few days was stoked into a mighty flame that didn't leave her in peace. And she knew why. For as much as she knew it saved her a world of pain, Noé grew tired of being alone. Of being rejected by the world. Being intimidated by the complete opposite of that made her act on instinct, and it just happened that self-sabotage, anger, and spite were a big part of that instinct. It was much easier to be hated. But now that this chance to be a part of something again presented itself, she felt vulnerable. Somewhat scared. And most amazingly of all, tremendously excited. It just so happened that that excitement translated into anxiety and doubt rather easily in her case.
I'm sure he isn't even here. Yeah, quite positive of it.
"Noé, so help me, if you don't go into those barracks in the next second, I will personally flash you there."
Head snapping back and auburn strands bouncing up from it, emerald eyes narrowed at nothing in particular from Chief's words. "You can't even do that."
"Neither of us know that because I've never tried. Don't make me."
Noé had a hard time believing she would, but a part of her didn't want to risk the awkward scene if there was the slightest chance of that happening. Instead she took a deep breath to calm her rattled mind before lightly kicking back at Skata's side. The tiger replied quickly enough, running down the street and turning the corners Noé led it through until she found herself in front of the barracks. Stopping Skata in his tracks right before it though, Noé stared at the menacingly wide open doors. Her hands gripped tightly to Skata's fur, knuckles turning white.
"The only way to find out is to try, little sparrow."
Fueled by her meistras words, Noé hurried Skatas through the streets to get to the barracks before she could back out. Though many stared at her back as she made her way inside, she didn't give them any mind with how determined she was. Maybe bringing the sabertooth wasn't the best of ideas though. Attention from strangers she could bare with—she didn't know them after all—and although being noticed by those she knew wasn't that much different, Noé felt the knot that formed at her throat sink to her stomach at seeing every Fanalis on the grounds turning to her. Countless of crimson pairs of eyes gawked and though she tried dismissing it, she couldn't deny that it made her uncomfortable. But they weren't the ones she had business with.
The cub's the one I have to apologize to.
Muu had been the one to incessantly approach her. Either because of choice or curiosity mattered little to her. What did was that he did. And to Noé that at least warranted an apology. But as she scanned the grounds and saw all the Fanalis except the one she was searching for, a groan escaped her.
"Don't leave, kid. You're not backing out now that you're here."
What a way to motivate me you have, Chief. Just marv—
"Is that…?"
"It's one of those sabertooths!"
"But they don't wander around here."
"It's one of them though. I know it!"
The low chatter that became quite boisterous out of the blue caught Noé's attention and yanked it away from the pity hole she was digging herself into. Turning to the voices, emerald eyes met with a great many pairs of red from the children that carefully huddled around a few feet away. Some startled and scurried away at noticing her staring at them but the majority stayed, more curious about Skata than they were afraid of her. Wanting to calm them for what it was worth, Noé dismounted the sabertooth, surprising some of the kids at doing so, but a quick gesture relaxed them enough for her to talk.
"Hey," she called out to them, her hand firmly on Skata's neck. When red eyes kept wavering from her to the tiger, Noé chuckled and patted his head. "There's nothing to be worried about. Skata isn't mean; plus, he's trained, so he won't do anything bad. I promise."
The disbelief that marred their eyes said her words didn't work for squat. They were still definitely scared. Well, let's show them then. Patting Skata's head, the tiger turned to her attentive.
"Skata, sit."
Its head jerked back and shook as he chuffed, obviously against being the monkey of her circus. Glaring down at him for a solid minute worked its charm, though not without complaint. Skatas huffed a couple of times before languidly taking a sit. Accomplished, Noé turned with a broad smile as the soft cries of awe rose from the children. But they still refused to approach them. If because of her or him, Noé wasn't all that clear.
"You're not here for them, Noé. Just move along."
Yeah, guess you're...right…
Emerald eyes widened as one of the youngest children out of the bunch stepped out of their protective circle towards her and Skata. A girl maybe a year or two younger than Maahes made her way to them and stood before Skata who only stared down at her quizzically. The two simply gawked at one another prompting Noé to kneel down before the girl.
"Would you like to pet him?"
Head whirling to her, huge crimson eyes with pronounced markings widened with awe. "Can I?"
"Course you can." Patting Skata once more got the sabertooth to lay down before the young girl. Reaching out for her hand, Noé slowly guided it to Skata with her palm down, her hand flinching somewhat when Skata huffed out again. "It's alright, he won't hurt you." Letting the tiger smell her briefly let him get comfortable with the girl, and once that was over with, he leisurely pressed his head under her hand. Giggling, the girl reached out to pet him with both hands as she got more used to him.
Noé watched closely, keeping an eye on Skata's mood. By the looks of it, though, he liked being pampered. Using that to her advantage, she urged a few of the others to come closer, the few who did quickly introduced to Skata. In a more pleasant mood after the first girl, the tiger welcomed them with ease, laying further down to give them better access to the back of his ears.
"Little lady?"
Standing up at the somewhat familiar voice, Noé turned away from the kids to meet a group of Fanalis she did recognize striding into the training grounds. Lo'lo and Razol were instantly recognizable and it took a moment to realize Myron and Yaqut were with them. Though she wanted to flee feeling uncomfortable already, Noé held steadfast knowing that if anybody knew where Muu would be, it'd be them. But before she could say anything, the small girl from before perked up and ran to Lo'lo, throwing herself at him to wrap her arms as well as she could around his waist.
"Welcome back, big brother!"
Brother?
"I can see the resemblance."
Yeah, if you squint at them the right way, maybe. A smile spread across Lo'lo as he ruffled the girl's head, getting a giggle out of her. Her bright eyes turned up to him as he continued his way to Noé, her feet fitting well atop his making it easier to carry her with him.
"Brother, look! It's a sabertooth! I've never seen one before!"
"Is that one of the colosseum beasts?" Myron perked up, shielding her eyes from the sun to inspect the tiger that was now pawing at the children playfully.
"Used to be." Returning to her more blase attitude, she smugly grinned back at them. "Won Skata and his sisters back during my first match there."
Both Lo'lo's sister and Razol perked up like little kids being shown a new toy, they're eyes glinting with awe. "There are more!"
Chuckling, Noé nodded before motioning to Skata who only lifted his head slightly from his place. "He's the smallest so I thought it'd be less intimidating. And he likes to play more as well."
Lo'lo called out to his sister as both she and Razol ran back to play with Skata. "Rhea, don't hurt it."
A quirky 'yes' came up in the air as Rhea and Razol joined the rest of the kids, leaving her and the three others with Noé.
"Don't chicken out."
Not the time for puns, Chief.
Clearing her throat to bring attention to herself, Noé took a deep breath before starting. "Look, I'm actually here to—"
"We know."
"You—You do?" Color slowly began draining out of her at the many things that could mean. Noé didn't take Muu to be that big of a loudmouth. Then again, she did say some rather loaded things. Could he have been angry enough to let the others know not to let her anywhere near—
"The captain told us you'd be coming soon a couple of days ago, so we've been expecting you," Yaqut told her.
Speechless as her train of thought got cut short, emerald eyes blinked owlishly at the news they just hit her with. "...he what?"
"Yeah, brother said you hadn't visited lately because you were busy with some other things." Myron played with strands of her red hair carelessly, but that her eyes kept peeking at her told Noé how interested she really was with her. "But you're here now, so let's spar."
"Well, I actually came looking for your brother."
"The captain?" Lo'lo thought for a second before turning to Myron who did the same with him. "Isn't he in one of those stuffy meetings?"
"If I'm not mistaken," Myron added before turning to Noé. "He'll be done soon though. Why not spar with us while you wait?"
So stubborn. "I don't think so. I've got things to do, people to see—"
Stopping mid sentence, the feathers behind her ears bristled a little as a small hand grasped at the tail of her drape to gently tug at it. Noé did her best to keep her temper at bay as she turned to meet the bright red gaze of Rhea's. A sullen taut line on her lips, Rhea looked from her to the other Fanalis before asking with a pout, "Are you and Skata leaving already?"
Oh, geez.
Unable to say no to that face, Noé chuckled before shaking her head. Rhea brightened up like a brightly lit hearth and asked if they could feed Skata. After telling her what and how, Rhea thanked her and sprinted off towards the other kids that were chasing Skata around. Said tiger played around well with the red lion cubs, prancing and pouncing merrily.
"You're such a pushover with kids."
...I know.
"Well then." Myron spun on her heels, her long red hair curling around her as she walked away. "If you're staying, why waste time waiting around when we can spar, right?"
So pushy. Despite this though, Noé wanted to say yes, but it felt awkward being there now. If Muu wasn't there, her apology wouldn't be of any use to them. They didn't even seem to know what had happened. Then again, Noé almost resented the fact that she still wanted to apologize after hearing that he'd told them such nonsense even after what happened. Hadn't they just had a huge fight a few days ago?
"Seems his bark is a lot meaner than his bite."
Then...that must mean something right?
Perhaps waiting wouldn't be such a bad idea. Taking a deep breath and lunging a couple of times to limber up, Noé let the guilt from before dissipate to allow herself some leeway to relax. Besides, with her anxiety so high, she feared she'd start molting any moment now. And that was definitely something she didn't want.
Guess this would be as good a way to let go as any. Noé would just have to keep it as tranquil as she could.
Nothing wrong with some light sparring?
—{ii}—
Goddamn, they're monsters!
"Calm down there, kettle. And also, dodge."
Just barely having a chance to take Chief's advice, Noé somehow managed to avoid Lo'lo roundhouse kick that would have most certainly done her head in. Getting some distance between them only allowed her a few minutes to breathe before the large Fanalis lunged at her once more. With how exhausted and out of breath she was though, Noé could only focus on keeping herself intact by avoiding his hits.
We're seriously gonna need to rectify what 'light sparring' means to them!
Noé hadn't been against sparring like Myron had so incessantly suggested—girl had a hang up still from last time, apparently—but she expected maybe a couple of rounds to spend the time. Not full on matches one after another with every Fanalis that wanted a piece of her. She had seriously underestimated how many had a bone to pick with her after her one visit. At first, Noé thought it wouldn't be a problem. From what Myron said her brother wouldn't be too long. But what was just an hour of sparring felt like days; especially considering that this was the twenty-seventh consecutive match.
"This is—duck—this is good." For as much as Chief had been against wasting her time waiting around, it seemed that the djinn was now fully on board with Noé getting her ass handed to her. Then again, she'd won the last 27 fights, so that could be debated.
"How in the—hell—is—this—good!"
"Stamina's always been a detriment of yours," though she listened, Noé couldn't bite back a retort. "Prolong combat will surely improve that. Give it your best."
Noé highly doubted that. But unable to stop the fight now, all she could do was try to win like she had the last fights. From the sidelines, all the Fanalis—grown and children—watched expectantly, most cheering for one party or another; the children boasting for Noé's victory while the older Fanalis goaded Lo'lo on. Ignoring them was easy, seeing as she had to deal with the behemoth that was Lo'lo relentlessly attacking her. Here and there, Noé managed to get in a few hits but with her lack of strength and his sturdy disposition, those hits did close to nothing to deter him from the fight. Nonetheless, she wouldn't throw in the towel. Not when she was finally pushing herself to some extent.
"Pretty limber, little lady!" The punch Lo'lo threw barely brushed past her shoulder as she sidestepped out of its way. Another that followed, though, hit her squarely in the stomach, sending her a few steps back and into a coughing fit. "But you aren't a heavy hitter."
Spitting out some bile that rose from her throat mixed with a little blood, Noé held steadfast, refusing to give in. Dashing forward to confront him head on, adrenaline fueled her and helped her neglect the aching that spiked through her body. Using her speed to her advantage, Noé did what best she could, sending a flurry of kicks and punches to drive him back. Just as his feet began sliding back, a triumphant grin started spreading across her lips. Sadly her victory—if that could even be counted as such—was brief. Lo'lo reeled back his arm with one swift motion and landed yet another punch, this one straight to her septum and wrenching all the breath from her lungs before it sent her flying across the grounds onto the far off all.
Noé felt the cracking of the concrete behind her before she heard it. Or that might've been her spine. As she slid down with the rubble that fell onto the floor and heard more things cracking, this time very clearly inside her, she groaned loudly. Yep, that was her spine or a rib. By the sound of multiple cracks and the fact that it didn't hurt like the hellhounds were mauling down on her, Noé guessed it'd been a couple of ribs. Deciding to lay there and bathe in the sun while writhing in the pain of her broken insides, she let the pain spread so it would numb out. Through closed eyelids, she saw the brightness of the sun disappear as it was suddenly blocked by whomever stood in the way.
Groaning again and not bothering to move an inch, Noé whined out loud not caring who heard her. "I'm done. I'm not fighting with broken ribs and, very likely, a fractured spine. You guys really don't know how to hold the fuck back." Despite everything, a small chuckle escaped her and regret washed over almost instantly when pain struck her side.
Definitely ribs.
"Yes, I think you deserve some rest after being a certified punching bag for the past hour."
Emerald eyes shot open to meet a gentle, crimson gaze as Muu bent over her with what looked like a smile starting to form on his lips. Stupidly turning to stand and hearing another crack as pain wracked her once more, Noé groaned against the ground preferring to lay still instead. "Yeah, I'll just rest here."
"Don't think the floor's the most comfortable for that." Hearing the clanking of metal from his armor, Noé only caught a glimpse of Muu's bright red hair before his arms started grabbing at her. Not liking it but not wanting to risk anymore pain by moving, Noé mumbled obscenities under her breath all the while Muu helped her stand back up. Hanging one of her arms over his shoulders, he hunched over to better suit her height and held her steady by holding onto the obi around her waist. "There, there," he said still smiling even as she continued to lash out quietly, "I'll take you to the infirmary."
His blatant nonchalance made Noé recall why she was uncomfortable about being there in the first place. Not wanting to talk to him just yet despite Chief blaring at the back of her head to do so, Noé opted to continue muttering incoherencies under her breath to keep from having to converse with him. Though the rest of the Fanalis seemed somewhat concerned about her wellbeing, Muu was quick to dispel it, telling them he'd see to it that she was treated and for them to continue on. Reluctantly, they did. And Skata only did so begrudgingly after Noé told him to stay put with the kids.
It was only after Muu told one of the older kids to go tell the attendants of the infirmary they were heading there that they started on their way. Every step hurt, not because there was anything wrong with her legs but because the weight on her ribs from standing pained her more and more the longer she walked. It made the trek to the infirmary much longer than she remembered. It ended soon enough, thankfully, but Noé couldn't help but be somewhat weirded out by the fact that the cub brought her to a different room than before, one with a long tub that the infirmary attendants were preparing with hot water and all kinds of herbs and coctions.
"Why do I feel like you're brewing me for dinner?"
"It's medicinal," he corrected. "We use it to treat injuries that take long to heal."
"What? That thing has magic water or something?"
"Normal spring water. It's the herbs that tend well to internal injuries, including broken bones." When he started listing off what the attendants were practically boiling in that tub, Noé understood what made those herbs special.
"...they're the ones Hera grows in her sanctum." Feeling Muu tense beneath her but not sparing him any thought, Noé instead used it to remember how they worked. Imbued with rukh compatible with Life magic, it made sense why they'd be best for healing. When drank, anyway. Never had she taken a bath in them.
...bath…
"You don't expect me to jump in there, do you?"
"It'll do you well to. An hour or two soaking in there will have you as good as new."
"Not happening."
"You'd rather be in pain?"
"Would you undress in front of strangers?"
"You can barely stand."
"I won't—" Before she had a chance to keep arguing, Noé jerked in a way that sent another wave of pain through her body. Unable to stand it anymore, she fodled. "Fine, fine. But send them out."
"I think you might need help."
"Then you stay. But face the damn wall."
That ultimatum given, Muu gave it some thought before sighing and nodding at the attendants to leave. After swiftly doing as they were told, he helped Noé up to the small stoop set before the tub and sat her there.
"Are you sure you're fine undressing by yourself?"
Cockily smirking at him as she began undoing her obi to leave her drape more open, Noé looked up through her eyelashes at him. "If you're offering to help, who am I to reject such a handsome young man when he offers to disrobe me?" The moment she stretched out the ribbon of her obi for him to take in his hand, his face darkened in crimson matching his hair and eyes perfectly. Not giving any reply, Muu whirled around and took a chair with him to sit facing the wall like she told him to.
Chuckling at his innocent reaction lightened her mood more than she thought it would. Opting to take what he offered to make the pain lessened, she undressed as well as she could but stopped cold when her wing fell with an audible thud to the ground after taking her dress off.
"Everything alright?"
"Yeah, nothing wrong here," she told him through gritted teeth. Thankfully there were no windows in this part of the infirmary, and she could guess why with her being buck naked now. And though she wasn't shameful of being seen like this, she felt a tinge of panic having her wing exposed with someone who could so easily see it if they simply turned around just a few feet away. "If you turn around or even look over your shoulder, I'll skin you alive."
Noé couldn't tell whether he took the threat seriously or not judging by the small chortle he let out. "Don't worry, Miss Noé. I wouldn't dream of it." She didn't know whether to feel assured or insulted. For now, being assured was better.
With no other qualm, she carefully made her way into the tub, water splashing around and the excess falling over the edge as she settled in. A mix between a sigh and a groan escaped her as the warmth of the water began soothing away the pain wracking her side and back.
Good god, this is amazing.
A small moan escaped her lips as she let herself sink deeper in the water while her wing rested over the edge of the tub. Dealing with a wet wing was definitely not something she wanted. It was enough having broken ribs and sore back as it was. But as her mind wandered in the blissfulness of her bath, the very reason she had come to the barracks in the first place came back with a vengeance in the form of Chief's incessant nagging.
"Remember why you came here, Noé."
Grabbing onto the edges of the tub, Noé submerged herself down to her chin and let the warmth distract her as she started.
"Thanks for the bath."
Muu lowered his head in a simply nod. "You're welcome."
"And also, well...I'm…" Sinking lower into the water cut her sentence short as a her words turned into bubbles underwater.
"Sorry, I didn't quite hear that."
"Stop fooling around, you overgrown chicken."
Right. But even repeating that word and telling herself that she had to do this for her own sake, Noé felt trapped. Apologizing wasn't something she did. Ever. There was no reason to. Well, except the few times there were. Like when she knew she'd made a huge mistake. Something like that had happened only once before and she never got to say sorry for it.
I'm not making that mistake again.
"You know...what happened a few days ago was...completely out of line. Especially when it was painfully obvious you were just trying to be cordial and help." Hearing the slight shift of his chair, Noé glanced over to make sure he hadn't peeked over his shoulder. He hadn't. All he'd done was tilt his head to better hear her. All at once the water got warmer and it sloshed around her as she folded her legs in to cradle them in her arms.
"May I ask why?"
He could but Noé felt like saying it out loud would just be stoking that particular fire. Seeing she could very well back out because of how uneasy and awkward Noé was getting, Chief intervened, encouraging her to reply. It took a little prodding to get her to but eventually she did.
"All of you weirded me out."
"Weirded you...out?"
The sincerity in his question was something she couldn't very well ignore. "For all my boisterous zeal, I'm not particular...good with people."
"Come on, kid, you can do better than that. Be honest with someone for once in your life."
He's just a kid himself. And a stranger.
"As are you to him."
Touché. Noé distracted herself by rubbing at her face with the warm water, trying to clear some of that color from it. "Actually, I don't like being close to people. And I'm not talking about personal space."
"It's somewhat noticeable now that you mention it."
"It is?" she asked, her eyebrow raising quizzically.
Muu nodded as he let himself leisurely fall back onto the chair and stare up at the ceiling. "Yes. Subtly but...I think I can see what you mean from what I've seen. But I thought you kept others away by making them hate you, like you tried with me."
"I usually don't have to resort to such measures." Distracting herself to have a more decent conversation, Noé busied herself with properly bathing. Now that her side hurt a little less it was a little easier to move.
A little easier to talk.
"Usually people keep their distance from me. My overzealousness turns them away. And it's something normal for me after so long. But when you guys welcomed me so easily like that? It was just…"
"...a little too much to handle?"
The diminutive got a chuckle out of her as she carded her fingers through her hair now freed from its ponytail and sinking in the water making it a murky reddish brown. "A lot too much to handle, honestly. I can deal with people ignoring me, hating me even, but when they're kind, well, it's eerie for me. And the fact that I'm in Reim doesn't make it any better."
"I've been curious for a while now so I hope you don't mind my asking; you say that Reim is at the bottom of whatever list you're following, right? But with what I've seen and heard from you and Lady Scheherazade, I have a growing suspicion that it should be somewhere nearest to the top."
"You want me to bump it up there that much?"
His chair almost toppling over from him wanting to deny it made her sink lower into the water and shift her wing away from his sight in case he turned. When he didn't though, Noé relaxed a little as he fumbled with his words.
"N-Not at all! It's just that I find it...strange, to say the least."
Emerald eyes strayed from her glistening skin to the back of his head as she leaned her cheek against the tepid porcelain of the tub. "Not everything that happened to me at Reim was bad, little cub."
"Do they outweigh the bad?"
"Nothing will get me to forget my son's death being at the hands of Reimians if that's what you're asking."
"I'm not—exactly." Muu clicked his tongue and sheepishly rubbed at the back of his head. "I guess my question is, if something as bad as that happened here, why leave Reim till last?"
"Like I said, a lot of good things happened to me at Reim. Elior was born here for one." That's right. For all intents and purposes, Elior had technically been a citizen of Reim when it starting growing from the small city it had been. "I met Scheherazade. And I also met and got to know Nadi."
"Nadi?"
That's right, he doesn't know. Oh, what a surprise he was about to get.
"You're great-great—actually I'm not going to bother with his title—he's one of your ancestors, cub. Pernadius Alexius, to be precise."
This time he really did fall from his chair from how badly he took those news. "Y-Y-You met Pernadius Alexius?"
Perking up at how easily shocked he was, Noé chuckled. "Yeah! Nadi was a good man. Helped me get out of a tough spot and with Elly when he was younger."
"...you met Pernadious Alexius…"
Brow furrowing in confusion, Noé snapped her fingers to get his attention out of that fact. "Yes, cub. Care to keep up with the conversation?"
Shaking his head, Muu almost turned about and would've had Noé not screeched out loud, telling him not to. Had he turned though, she was ready to chuck the jug of water the attendants left for her at the side of the tub if need be. Stumbling on his feet, he walked up to the door to brace himself there. "But that's impossible. If that were true that would make you at least as old as Lady Scheherazade."
"Actually I'm older than Hera-chan."
"Older?" For some reason, though just as visibly astounded by the news, there seemed to be a part of him that couldn't be anymore shocked than he already was if the nervous chuckle he let out was any sign. "How much older exactly?"
"Exactly?" Now that there was a question she didn't frequently ask herself.
Chief?
"You think I keep count?" Yes, actually, she did think so. Defeated by the silence, Chief gave her a number to which Noé herself was sufficiently impressed about to whistle at. It definitely did not feel like it'd been that long.
"More or less? Around 2595 years old."
"What?!"
This time Muu didn't have the mind to remember his promise and fully turned around towards the tub. Shrieking, Noé held no qualms and tossed the jug without a second thought. The ceramic flew along with the water inside and Muu expertly avoided it, the jug crashing and shattering into pieces.
"Get out! Now!"
Before she could even say 'now,' Muu was already out the door, shutting it loudly behind him. He didn't quite have the mind to leave however, apologizing again and again from the other side of the closed doors. Fuming and feeling her cheeks grow hot due to it, Noé slapped the water out of need to let her annoyance out. "Yeah, yeah, you big ole perverted cub!" But with a concrete wall and wooden door between them, Noé finally felt somewhat comfortable to say what she'd been trying to the whole time. And this time, she said it without missing a beat.
"I'm really sorry about how I treated you. I shouldn't have. And aside from saying sorry, I just hoped we could...maybe start over."
Noé hadn't expected for him to hear her quiet whisper, much less for him to answer.
"I would like that very much, Miss Noé."
A/N:
This took mighty longer than it should've but I'm actually glad it did. I had like a fourth of it written out before I decided to scrap that and start from scratch again and ended with this! I guess I got through 2/3 of the outline I had but that's good. That means I can go onto that next part unhindered and probs won't leave you hanging with a two parter of it x3c This and last chapter was mostly to start the rom-subplot I wanted. Since Muu and Noé can finally interact, I'm hoping to write more of their relationship as it evolves into whatever it may :)
I'd like to give thanks to the lovely Cexin, Ema333, and SUPAfast JeLLyFisH for following and favoriting this story! And also to Aviantei for always leaving a review! You guys are the ones keeping me writing every chapter, so this one goes to you :D
For now, that's gonna be all folks. I'm leaving super early in the morning tomorrow on a 3hour drive and I need to get ready for that! Anyway, hope you all enjoyed this chapter and that you stay tuned for the next update!
Lots of hugs and cookies,
- Evie