Harry pov
When we entered the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom we found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teachers desk, wearing the same fluffy pink everything that she wore to dinner last night, and the black velvet bow on top of her head. An image came through my head of a large fly perched on top of an even larger toad.
'Well, good afternoon!' she said, when finally the whole class had sat down. I looked around. The Americans (or should I say, death eaters) all took seats near the back. Probably a smart choice on their part.
" 'afternoon" a couple of people mumbled in reply
'"Tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge. "That won't do, now, will it? I would like you to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge'. One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"
"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," they piped back at her. An extra sarcastic 'good afternoon' came from the Americans, who were folding their hands in their laps and batting eyelashes.
"There, now" said Professor Umbridge sweetly, completely ignoring the Americans "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."
Most of the class groaned, followed by a quick 'tut, tut' from professor Umbridge. The order of 'wands away' wasn't usually followed by a very interesting class. Well, there was that Moody class, but that doesn't really count. It was more scary than fun. I shoved my wand back into my bag and pulled out a quill a parchment. Professor Umbridge opened her purse and pulled out her own wand, which was unusually short, and tapped the blackboard with it. Words appeared on the board almost at once.
Defence Against the Dark Arts
A Return to Basic Principles
"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been not quite ministry standards. A stuttering man one year, a halfbreed the next" stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her. "The way these teachers taught was completely unacceptable. I'm not even sure how that half breed" she made a disgusted face "taught, but it was most likely that you missed proper 3rd year curriculum" Umbridge said
"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be fixed. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centred, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."
She rapped the blackboard again with her wand. The first message vanished and was replaced by the 'Course Aims'.
1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.
2. Learning to recognise situations in which defensive magic can be legally used
3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.
When I was finished copying the words down, I looked over at the Americans. All of their parchments were blank. Except for Leo's, which was full of smiley faces, and Percy's, that had a string of letter that I could not make words out of. When everyone else was finished copying the words down, the professor asked
"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
There was a dull murmur of 'yes's' and 'uh-hu's' throughout the class
"I think we'll try that again," said Professor Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I would like you to reply, 'Yes, Professor Umbridge', or 'No, Professor Umbridge'. So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?'
'Yes, Professor Umbridge,' rang through the room. A clash of, "Nope" (with a popped 'p') came from the Americans.
"Tut, tut. I need a 'no, professor Umbridge from you in the back"
"No Professor Umbridge" They said in voices that sounded suspiciously like yoda's (A/N Let's pretend Harry's seen Star Wars)
"Why not?" She asked in her honey-sweet voice.
"Erm... mine is somewhere" said Frank
"I think mine might still be in the library" said Annabeth
"mine is in ashes" said Leo
"I think mine might still be in that suit of armour. I threw it at it because it wouldn't shut up" said Thalia
"Mine is somewhere under my bed" said Jason
"Mine is somewhere where no one will ever find it" said Nico. That one was kind of creepy
"Peeves wrecked mine" said Piper
"Mine got stabbed. Don't ask" said Hazel, glancing at Percy, who muttered something about 'innocent sparing'
"and mine is at the bottom of the lake" concluded Percy
"Well, then you'll need to read off of the person beside you" The Americans glanced around. they were all sitting beside each other. "or someone near you" Professor Umbridge finished.
"We're all dyslexic, we can't read English" Annabeth said
"except me" Frank piped in "just lactose intolerant" the Americans rolled their eyes.
"Of courses you can read, why how else would you learn?" Umbridge asked
"We can read Ancient Greek and Latin" Jason said
"Why, those are long forgotten languages, of course you don't speak or read them." She gave a high pitched chuckle "Now stop being so foolish and read with the person in front of you. I would like everyone to turn to page five and start reading Beginners; the Basics" The Americans sighed and scooted their chairs up to the person in front of them, but they obviously weren't reading
Professor Umbridge left the blackboard and settled herself in the chair behind the teacher's desk, observing them all closely with her toad's eyes. Every time Umbridge looked at the Americans, they stared at the book, pretending to read. I turned to page five of his copy of Defensive Magical Theory and started to read.
It was very boring, almost worse than listening to Professor Binns. I felt my concentration sliding away from me; I had soon read the same line quite a few times without taking in more than the first few words. Several silent minutes passed. Next to me, Ron was absent-mindedly turning his quill over and over in his fingers, staring at the same spot on the page. I looked right and received a surprise to shake me out of my trance. Hermione had not even opened her book. She was staring at Professor Umbridge with her hand in the air.
I have never seen a time where Hermione had refused to obey a professor. Heck, I've never seen a time where Hermione shot down an opportunity to read. Her doing both was just strange.
After several more minutes had passed I wasn't the only one watching Hermione anymore. Over two thirds of the class were staring between Hermione and Professor Umbridge.
When almost the entire class was staring at Hermione instead of at their books, Professor Umbridge seemed to decide that she could not ignore her anymore.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked Hermione, as though she had only just noticed her.
"Not about the chapter, but-" started Hermione.
"Well, we're reading just now," said Professor Umbridge. "If you have other questions, you and I can sort them out after the class
'I've got a couple questions about the course aims" said Hermione
Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows.
"And your name is?"
"Hermione Granger," said Hermione.
"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully" said Professor Umbridge in a voice of forced sweetness.
"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."
There was a short silence in which many members of the class turned their heads to frown at the three course aims still written on the blackboard.
"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"
"We're not going to use magic?" Ron exclaimed loudly. Nobody was reading anymore.
"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr - ?
"Weasley" said Ron, throwing his hand in the air.
Professor Umbridge, smiling more widely, turned her back on him. Hermione and I immediately raised our hands. Professor Umbridge's eyes lingered on me for a moment before she addressed Hermione.
"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"
"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Arts is to practise defensive spells?"
"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" asked Professor Umbridge, in her falsely sweet voice.
"No, but - "
"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the "whole point" of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way - "
"What use is that?" I said loudly. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a-"
"Hand, Mr Potter!" sang Professor Umbridge.
I thrust my fist in the air. Again, Professor Umbridge smiled and turned away from me. Now several other people had their hands up, too. I looked to the back. All the americans either had faces red with rage or faces of amusement.
"And your name is?" Professor Umbridge said to Dean.
"Dean Thomas."
"Well, Mr Thomas?"
"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free."
"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling a very irritating smile at Dean "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"
"No, but -"
Professor Umbridge talked over him. "I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school," she said, an unconvincing smile upon her face and an expression that said 'I totally mean to criticize to the way things have been run here', "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."
"If you mean Professor Lupin," piped up Dean angrily, "he was the best professor we ever -"
"Hand, Mr Thomas! As I was saying - you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day-"
"No we haven't" Hermione said. "we just - "
"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"
Hermione put up her hand. Professor Umbridge turned away from her.
"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you."
"Well, he turned out to be a maniac, didn't he?" said Dean. "Mind you, we still learned loads."
"Your hand is not up, Mr Thomas!" said Professor Umbridge in her high pitched voice.
"Now, it is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be more than sufficient to get you through your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?" she added, staring at Parvati, whose hand had just shot up.
"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"
"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions" said Professor Umbridge dismissively.
"Without ever practising them beforehand?" said Parvati, who seemed angered in a calm way. "Are you telling us that the first time we'll get to do the spells will be during our exam?"
"I repeat, as long as you have studied the theory hard enough - "
"And what good is theory going to be in the real world?" I said loudly, my fist in the air again.
Professor Umbridge looked up at me
"This is school, Mr Potter, not the real world" she said softly.
"So we're not supposed to be prepared for what's waiting for us out there?"
"There is nothing waiting out there, Mr Potter."
"Oh, yeah?" I said "Nothing at all?" I finished sarcastically. My temper was at it's peak.
"Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?" said Professor Umbridge, with a horrible high pitched chuckle at the end. I was about to yell out 'well maybe Voldemort!', but Percy beat me to it.
"You have no idea" he said, in a low growl
"Your hand Mr-"
"I don't care about my hand! I'm answering your question. And I'm saying that you have no idea what could and has attacked me! Attacked us! We've been attacked by stuff that wouldn't appear in your worst nightmare" Percy said
"Do not lie boy. You've never been attacked by anything worse that a bludger, if even that" Umbridge chuckled.
"You want proof? I'll give you proof!" Percy shouted he stood up and took off his shirt (A/N I know that would have been hard with all his robes on, but whatever)
"Excuse me, Mr.-" She cut herself off when she saw what was under his shirt. His body was littered with scars. Short one, long ones, and ones that looked pretty recent. There was a big on that looked pretty deep and recent that want from his left shoulder to his right hip. I tried to get a look at his forearm, but he pressed it tightly to his side. Umbridge regained herself and turned to the class.
"Those marks are not real, and what he says are lies. He has never been attacked. 50 points from Gryffindor" she said. Frank stood up.
"What do you mean they're not real! How thick are you?! You have proof right in front of you, yet you will not believe anything unless it is 'ministry approved'! That will get you killed one day!" Frank yelled
"Another fifty points from Gryffindor. I repeat, none of that is real, you are all safe." Umbridge said.
"Yes, this class is safe, but we've never been safe. We've been fighting our entire lives!" Thalia butted in.
"Fifty poi-" Umbridge started
"If you were listening to anyone but yourself during the welcome feast, you would have heard our school name. The Delphi Academy of Combat Magic. We have to learn combat magic to stay alive, because we are always being attacked!" Annabeth interrupted
"Fifty points from Gryffindor!"
"Fifty points from Umbridge-is-a-dork!" said Leo in a high pitched voice
"Another fifty points, and all of you... Americans" she spat "Get detention with me for the next week. You will stay after class, and we wil-"
"No, we won't stay after class. We're leaving right now!" All the Americans shouted at once, and they left class. Professor Umbridge's mouth was wide open, making her even more toad like.
"No matter what those students say, you are all safe." Umbridge stated.
"No, we're really not." I said
"Yes Mr. Potter?" asked Umbridge
"I said we're not safe"
"Yes you are. What on earth would want to attack you?"
"Maybe, hmm..." I started, tapping my thumb on my chin "Maybe Lord Voldemort!" There were a couple of gasps. Umbridge turned to the class
"You have been told that a certain dark wizard has returned. I assure you, he hasn't"
"Yes, he did! I saw him, and I fought him!"
"Another fifty points from Gryffindor! My, I'm not sure if you even have any left. Now Mr. Potter, I want you to say this with me. The Dark Lord is not back"
"Yes he is!" I shouted
"Mr. Potter, come up here please" She said, her voice especially sweet. I went up. She scratched down a letter and put it in an envelope.
"Bring this to professor McGonagall please" She said. I grabbed the letter and stomped out the door. As I was heading to her office, I heard the familiar voices of Percy and Leo.
"I hate her, just HATE her"
"A complete moron, I know" I heard a pause.
"Hey Leo, grab the Stolls and the twins. I have a plan"
Oooh, what's Percy's plan? Find out in the next chapter! Thanks to all my reviewers, followers, and favouriters! I just need 4 more reviews to hit 100!
:)