It was odd. I felt as if my very being was being ripped apart, and it became a chore to breath or even smile. And yet, as I stared into his eyes I felt almost at peace. I knew it was probably shock but I would take advantage of it for now. I forced a small smile that probably looked rather convincing. I placed a hand on Akihito's shoulder. "Congratulations Akihito. You deserve her." I closed my eyes for a few separate reasons, mostly to block out that look on his face. He looked almost guilty. "Congratulations…" I whispered it this time. With that I turned to leave. Akihito didn't move to stop her and I was eager to get away before this shock went away.

I walked down the hall slowly, ignoring the looks and cat calls that the men of the eleventh division shot my way. My heart was breaking, but it was doing so slowly. What surprised me most was that as I walked, I didn't cry. Not a single tear was shed from my eyes. My feet wandered on their own, a blank look in my eyes. As if I was in denial. My first stop the laundry room where I changed into some more appropriate clothes. A simple outfit of a blue tank top and baggy sweats. I grabbed a jacket that was two sizes to big just in case.

Then I wandered out of the dorms. I knew where I was heading. I was going to my mom's grave. I needed to tell her the news, to ask her what I should do.

I walked out of the soul society, not caring that I hadn't asked permission. I didn't care. I walked up the hill and almost made it to my mom's grave. But as I came close to it, I stumbled once. It was all it took, I fell down and didn't bother bringing my hands up to meet my face. I couldn't decipher how I felt. Numb perhaps. Heartbroken. Happy almost, and yet so sad. The dirt, muddy from the night before smeared on my face. I didn't get up or even blink until I had heard a familiar voice.

"I miss ya," Came the captain, Zaraki Kenpachi's brash voice. I thought he was talking to me until I turned my eyes and didn't see him. I pushed myself up and looked through the grass, weeds, and bushes. I widened my eyes ever so slightly. Zaraki was standing over my mother's grave. His face was tough, angry and hard to read as always. I swallowed, knowing I shouldn't be hearing this, listening to him talk to her. And yet I couldn't pry my eyes off of it. Perhaps it was the distraction; perhaps it was revenge for the previous day. I didn't know, but I didn't care about morals right then.

"That girl, yer damn adopted daughter came to join my squad. The idiot…" He spoke lowly. "She reminds me of you. The damn bitch."

HE shook his head. "Yeah yeah, I know I ain't supposed to use that language but I will. She is just like you and it pisses me off. She may not look like ya much, but her attitude is the same. Tough on the outside, and yet she seems way too soft. Her eyes carry that same look, that's what gets me the most. I hate lookin' at her. Ta make it worse she is having trouble with that kid, that Akihito one. Pisses me off to watch it; Makes me wanna kill him. But I won't."

I couldn't tear away from it now. The big figure sat down next to the cross and looked over the seireitei. "I hate her. And yet I don't. Confusing, worthless emotions. I know she is sorry for killing you. Hell, I don't even know if she really killed you. She won't tell me. I will get it from her eventually."

"I know you want me to forgive her. But how can I? Fuck, this just confuses me the most. Pisses me the fuck of! And her damn powers are another thing all together! I don't know what the hell she did but I can't stop thinking about that kiss. Yeah, she kissed me. I feel kinda sick about it; Like I cheated on ya with yer own daughter. What makes it sick is that just looking at her, I wanna do it again." With this he let out a small chuckle. "Yeah I know what you would say to that. You guys had what? A ten year difference wasn't it? She looked about 8 or 9, you 18. You would say it wasn't too much. Kind of weird to think of it like that. Damn, I hate my spiritual energy. I haven't aged at all these past 100 years. Zlorecile grew up though. Damn did she grow up. Ya should see the way my men hound after her. Hell, they would probably kill to kiss her. HAH! They'd kill themselves to kiss her once they discovered what it felt like. " I looked away at this. I felt bad for listening to this, and at the same time odd. I didn't even know why. But it was distracting me from Akihito. I absorbed it with interest.

"Her powers. I wish you would have explained them to me. I know ya knew about them. What she did to me I don't know. Makes me wanna fucking kill her. Now I can't even kiss any other girls. Cause all I think of is that feeling. It wasn't normal."

Now I felt a little guilty.

"But yeah… I just wanted to let ya know how everything is going down. I need yer advice though. Should I kill her, fuck her, or both?" He laughed his chest rumbling with it. "Oh god I can just imagine the disapproving glance yer sending my way. Sorry but you know me." We sat in silence for a long minute that turned into several. That was before I heard the pitter of raindrops. It was raining just like the day before. The irony made me shake my head. Kenpachi didn't move though, he just sat in the rain.

I stood up and took of my jacket. I saw his stiffen as I approached. He knew it was me, he must have. Who else would visit this grave anyways. I raised the jacket and put it over his head, blocking it from the rain. "Captain, It's the end of fall. You wanna get a cold?" I growled, impersonating him from earlier. I double checked, making sure that the jacket was covering his entire head. I turned to go bit before I did I made sure I finished repeating what he had said to me. "How long have I been listening? About an hour. Yeah, I heard it all."

I turned around to go back to the dorms. But just like before, his hand reached out to grab my arm. I looked back with curiosity. He looked into my eyes for a long minute. His eyes full of curiosity, and his eyes lingering on the mud on my face before letting go of my arm. I started to walk back again. "The head captain wanted to see you."

I disappeared in a shunpo.