Sweet Juliet

Chapter 11: A Box of Letters

She did the only thing she could.

She ran.

Ran as fast as she could away from the awful, dreadful words she had heard. She didn't want to believe them. She was praying that it was all a terrible nightmare, and she would wake up any second, safe in her dorm room. Then she would run to her father and he would tell her it was all okay, that it was just a dream...

She barely even noticed the tears. Juliet didn't mind crying. She wasn't particularly girly, but she didn't hide her emotions either. She didn't stop running until she got to the last part of the Grand Staircase.

Dad, she begged silently, please don't do this to me. Please...

She stopped entirely on the stairs and allowed her erratic breathing to return to normal. The tears still streamed down her face silently, and her whole body trembled, but at least she wasn't winded from running. As she made her way to the Entrance Hall, she hoped with all her might that no one would be there.

No such luck.

"Miss Snape?" asked the stern female voice, laced with just a touch of concern. She stopped dead, looking anywhere but Professor McGonogall. "Miss Snape are you all right?"

"I...I..." As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop the steady stream of tears.

"Let's get you to the hospital wing." By the sound of McGonogall's voice, it wasn't a request. Juliet panicked, shaking her head violently. McGonogall took a firm hold of her forearm, but she backed up quickly, frantically searching for words, her eyes as terrified as a cornered animal. What would she tell Madame Pomfrey? That she was upset because her father was a Death Eater, and she just needed a bit of Calming Potion?

No, she couldn't go to the hospital wing.

"Miss Snape," said McGonogall with just a bit more edge, "we need to go to the hospital wing."

"I can't, Professor." Juliet's voice came out somewhat higher than she intended it to be. She sounded terrified.

Professor McGonogall's eyes softened a bit, but her voice remained stern. "Then I'm afraid we'll have to go see the Headmaster."

She didn't fight this time, just let McGonogall half drag, half lead her to Dumbledore's office. She hadn't been there since her Sorting. When she stepped onto the spiral staircase, her nerves doubled and she shook harder. It seemed as though the water would never stop pouring from her eyes.

When they entered the office, Dumbledore was alone at his desk, reading something (rapidly, it seemed, by the way his pupils darted back and forth).

"Excuse me, Headmaster," said McGonogall. He looked up sharply, having just realized their presence. "Miss Snape is clearly distraught, and she refused to go to Madame Pomfrey."

Dumbledore stood up slowly, taking in Juliet's trembling form and tear-stained face. After a long, agonizing moment, he spoke. "Thank you, Professor McGonogall, I think I can handle things from here." McGonogall nodded curtly and took one last, calculating look at Juliet, before she turned on her heel and left. Alone with Dumbledore, a man she had known since early childhood, Juliet found she could look nowhere but at her feet.

"Should I call your father?"

All of Juliet's muscles tensed immediately. The last person she wanted to see at that particular moment was her father. Dumbledore, however, seemed to take her silence as a confirmation. "Very well," he said, "I'll go get him." She wanted to protest, but didn't know what she would say that didn't sound suspicious. He was almost at the door, and she was about to just try to resign herself to seeing the man who had been her hero for so long, but who now terrified her, but...

"Professor, wait."

Dumbledore stopped and turned around. "Yes?"

"I..." She could trust him, right? If there was anyone to talk to about this, it was Dumbledore. Then again, she had trusted her father. No. She was being stupid. "Professor, I overheard a conversation my father was having with Highmaster Karkaroff."

"I see." Juliet had a feeling he already knew what she was going to say, but he looked at her as though he wanted her to continue.

She didn't know if she could come out and say it, but if she didn't do it now, she'd never be able to. "My father is a Death Eater." The words came out very fast, strung together so tight that they were almost one long word. The look in Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes made her blood run colder again. There was a knowing twinkle there...he couldn't be... "What do you know about that, sir?" Her voice was hard and guarded, and she tried to stop her body from shaking.

Dumbledore sighed, probably realizing what she was thinking. "Your father's secrets are not mine to tell if he has chosen to keep them from you, Miss Juliet. I can assure you, however, that your father is as good of a man as you have always known. Never doubt that."

Juliet strained to keep her face impassive, but her mind was battling furiously with itself. "Please go get my father, Professor."

Dumbledore stared at her for a long moment, but then turned and left the office, letting the door click softly shut behind him. As soon as his footsteps had died away, Juliet ran to the fireplace. She had no intention of waiting for them to return. She couldn't trust her father to tell her the truth anymore.

Dumbledore's Floo Powder was kept in an open, plain glass bowl. She grabbed a handful and threw it into the fireplace.

"Seven, Spinner's End!"

The house looked just the same as they had left it, if not much dustier. She looked around nervously. Juliet had never been afraid to be in her own house before.

Her father's bedroom was up the ancient wooden stairs, all the way down the hall and to the left. He had made a habit long ago of never keeping the door locked, in case Juliet had a nightmare in the middle of the night, and needed to come in to him.

The room was dark and horribly undecorated. She paid no mind, however to her father's awful taste in furnishings. Juliet simply went to the bed and got down on her knees, reaching under it. There it was. The box he had ordered her never to open since she was very small. It was a plain, black wooden box, and it had never piqued her interest enough for her to disobey her father.

Now she had some idea of what it contained.

Slowly, with shaking fingers, she lifted the dusty lid. Inside was a pile of old, yellowing parchment, all with her father's messy handwriting scrawled across it.

She picked up the one on top and, with a deep breath, began to read.

Dear Lily,

I've tried to write to you so many times. I just can't seem to find the right words to say, to make up for what I've done. I was scared, Lily, and I was humiliated. I never, ever wanted to call you a Mudblood.

Juliet gasped. She had never heard her father use such foul language before. Almost in spite of herself, she kept reading.

If that damn James Potter would just have left the two of us alone, this never would have happened. We never would have drifted apart. You'd still be my best friend... I'm so sorry, Lily, you've got to realize that. I hated looking weak in front of you. My temper got the better of me... I can hardly bear the fact that I hurt you... Please, Lily, talk to me again. I don't know what I'll do if you don't.

Love always,

Sev

She read letter after letter, each one a slightly different variation of the same thing. They were all to Lily Evans, and they all sounded very, very sad.

Juliet put the box away after she had read all of them. The box had nothing to do with her father being a Death Eater at all. She had just delved into the most personal, weakest part of his heart... She felt so guilty she could barely stand it.

No.

She shouldn't feel guilty. So what if she had read his love letters? He had lied to her for years, letting her believe he was the most wonderful man on the planet, when really he was working for Voldemort.

I can assure you that your father is as good of a man as you have ever known, Dumbledore had said. Never doubt that. How could she not? Death Eaters were not good people. They killed and maimed, and they did the bidding of the most despicable man who had ever lived.

Juliet had no idea what to think. She couldn't help but cry again. So what if she seemed like some weak little girl who couldn't control her emotions? At the moment, she couldn't. She crawled into her father's bed and just let herself cry. Finally, after what could have been hours, she fell asleep.

It was a restless, terrible sleep, filled with Death Eaters and a fire, consuming everything around her...

…...

Morning came far too early for Juliet's liking. For a moment, she didn't know where she was, then she looked over and saw her father's nightstand. Next to a candle was a small, framed picture of Severus and Juliet, the latter smiling and waving frantically at the camera, and the former looking fondly at the girl next to him, not quite smiling but looking happy nonetheless.

She changed in her own room and walked downstairs, dreading the day ahead. Not only would her father be irate that she had left school, but she would have to hear once and for all that he was, indeed, not the man she had always believed he was.

The Floo Powder felt strange in her hand as she picked it up. With a deep breath, she threw it into the fireplace, watching the green flames for a moment before stepping into them.

Juliet closed her eyes and re-opened them slowly.

"Hogwarts!"

(A/N: Hey, guys! That was a fast update! To the reviewer who pointed out that it wasn't likely that Juliet had never seen Severus' left forearm, you're probably right. After all, he taught her potions and you can't do that with long sleeves...However, I needed her to be in the dark for my story. So, thanks, for the feedback anyway! I hope you continue to review! See you guys soon for chapter 12! REVIEW!)