A/N: OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
WARNINGS: Language. As always.
Disclaimer: Not saying any of this is real. And I have a huge fear that for some odd reason, Dan and Phil will stumble upon this and just read it and hate me forever.
(OMG guys please don't hate me. I'm just a Phan girl. Ahhh.) (But seriously why would they even read this crap)
Chapter Ten
It was an odd feeling, Dan decided. Seeing yourself on a computer screen, talking and joking. Laughing like there was no one around. Yeah, it was odd. But Dan wasn't sure how else he felt about it just yet.
His phone began blaring beside of him, reminding him just why he was seeing himself onscreen. He checked the message, sighing.
Don't hate me? -Phil
Dan didn't know where to start with the things wrong with that message — maybe the fact that Phil phrased it like a question, seemingly afraid of Dan's answer. Or that Phil had thought it possible of Dan to hate him in the first place.
What Dan should've typed was a I could never hate you, Phil, or a Of course I don't, or even a I fantasize about kissing you and touching you and marrying you on a daily basis. All of those were good in the least — except, maybe that last one. But Dan found himself typing only one word.
Why? -Dan
He didn't even really know what he was asking. Why Phil posted the video? Why he hadn't asked Dan's consent? Why he wasn't in Dan's bed, letting Dan play with the ends of his hair as they talked to each other about how much they were in love?
Again, maybe not that last one.
Dan was still hung up in his little fantasies when a reply came through.
Because I thought it would be good for you and that you wouldn't be so angry with me for it? Because I know you'll thank me for it later? Because I know that in the end, this will be one of the greatest things to ever happen to you? -Phil
Dan reread the message a couple of times, his fingers hovering over the little keyboard. Eventually, he realized he needed to type a reply.
I'm not angry, Phil. Shocked, yes, a little taken by surprise, sure, but not angry. -Dan
Dan pressed send and simply watched his phone in anticipation, waiting for a reply from Phil. He brought his knees up to his chest, allowing his chin to rest on them as he wrapped his arms around his form. However, his efforts were proven useless since as soon as his phone began to ring, he fell to the floor in his attempts to reach it.
"Fuck," he swore under his breath, putting a hand to his head. Sighing, he grabbed his phone and checked his text messages.
Okay... so, just to be clear, you're not angry? -Phil
Dan smiled with relief as he read the message. He stared at the screen for a second with content before he replied.
How about I take you for coffee to prove just how not-angry I am? -Dan
His grin grew wider—if that was possible—as he read the reply.
Sounds great. :) -Phil
Dan was sure one of them would have to move soon if they decided to keep meeting up like this. Seriously. While Dan didn't much mind the distance, he did mind the amount of time it took for he and Phil to meet up.
His little mini-rampage died down as he pulled into the Starbucks' parking lot. He sighed with relief when he saw Phil's car parked about two spaces away from him. Then he began to freak out when he wondered just how long he'd kept Phil waiting. In his defense, the traffic was ridiculous.
Despite his best efforts at calming himself, Dan still found himself hurrying out of the car and into England's cool air. He pushed through the entrance, running a hand through his hair as he scanned the room for Phil's jet-black hair. When he found it, he realized Phil's back was to him. Smiling, he walked over to the corner table as fast as he could.
He stopped about a foot away from Phil's seat. He realized Phil was staring intently at his phone, an earbud in each ear. And in a moment of spontaniety—and insanity, Dan thought—he attacked Phil from behind in a hug.
"Oh my—" Phil began, his hands shooting up in surprise. He removed his ear buds, his body tense. Dan became nervous about Phil's reaction when Phil looked up and realized who his attacker was. Dan bit his lip worriedly, relief only coming when Phil smiled.
"Dan!" He shouted excitedly. Dan grinned then, unable to hide his joy. "I thought I was going to die! What was that for?!"
"To prove how not-angry I am," Dan said, sighing. "I know you still feel guilty about the whole video thing, and I want you to know that it's okay."
Phil smiled. "Okay."
Dan sighed deeply. "You still feel bad about it, don't you?"
"Yep."
There was a small, short fit of laughter from the two of them. It wasn't the awkward, silence-filling type of laughter, either. It was genuine.
A few minutes passed, minutes filled with Phil smiling down at his phone. Dan was confused, until he started thinking Oh my god, what if he's texting his boyfriend? What if they're sending these cute little romantic text messages and he just came here out of pity?
"You're staring at that phone like it's the source of all good things in the world," Dan said smiling softly. Phil finally looked up, though the smile didn't leave his lips. "Why, if you don't mind me asking?"
Phil didn't answer—he simply turned his phone around so the screen was towards Dan. Dan leaned in a bit to get a closer look when he realized he was reading YouTube comments. Creasing his eyebrows, he looked at Phil.
"Are you reading an entertaining comment fight? A deep, inspirational story? Or just being the creep that you are?"
"Hey!" Phil said, giving Dan a look. Dan laughed and soon, Phil was too. "Read the comments, you dope."
"Offended!" Dan exclaimed jokingly. In answer, Phil rolled his eyes, pushing the phone in front of Dan's face again. Dan took it between his fingers, staring down as he began to read.
He had been through about five comments before he realized they were comments on Phil's video. Phil's newest video to be more specific. As in, the one Dan was in.
Dan read through multiple Aww, Phiiil!'s and I love you so much!'s, and of course the one's praising Chris and PJ's surprise appearances before one in particular caught his eye.
Great video, Phil! Will we be seeing more of this Dan guy? He's freaking hilarious, and not too bad looking. ;) Upload soon!
And it didn't stop there.
OMG Phil you took forever to post a new vid!1! but it was worth the wait since we got to see this new Dan character! super funny guy! will he be making more appearances? *puppy dog eyes* :D
After that, Dan kept finding more comments, all complimenting Dan and asking for another video of the four of them. Of course, they were also very, very curious about this random new kid in Phil's video. Some were even a little skeptical, but none were rude or even demeaning in the least. Dan found a smile plastered on his face by the time he handed Phil the phone.
"Wow," was all he managed to get out. Phil stared at Dan, beaming, while he waited for more of a reaction. When Dan realized this, he coughed awkwardly. "I mean... wow."
Phil laughed a little at that. "It feels good, doesn't it?"
"It feels... fantastic," Dan said, still not thinking the word covered all of his emotions at the moment. He felt a sense of acceptance that he had never felt during his high school years. It was the best feeling in the world.
"I know," Phil replied knowingly. Dan continued to grin, leaning closer over the table and signaling for Phil to do the same.
"Thank you," Dan muttered, his voice low. "So much, Phil." And even though he was sure he would never have thanked someone for something like this, he genuinely meant it. Phil could hear the sincerity in his voice.
Phil chuckled, pulling away. "My pleasure," he whispered because, really, he didn't have much else to say. But those two words were enough for Dan.
The conversation flowed easily after that, the topics ranging from serious to comedic, but it was alright because they were both content to just be talking to each other. Eventually, they both ordered their individual coffees and drank them while keeping up the conversation.
It wasn't until their conversation turned to more serious, practical things that Dan's thoughts got cloudy and he was sure he was going to say something he would regret.
"I mean, the last relationship I had was a product of Chris' urgency and my intolerance of any more of it. And all we did was go on two dates, and I texted him whenever I was with Chris just to get him off of my back. The guy wasn't terrible, either, he was actually quite nice. I just didn't want to date him. So I don't really count that as a relationship at all," Phil finished, wondering if he'd went too far by mentioning this. Dan seemed uncomfortable, so it made sense that he had overstepped some sort of unspoken boundary.
Dan bit his lip as Phil stopped talking, a nervous sweat breaking out across his entire body. He sat still, as still as he could, and took a deep breath.
"Phil, there's something I really need to tell you."
Those few words changed the entire atmosphere for the two of them. Dan was feeling a little relief at finally letting the words out, while Phil was a bit worried about what Dan meant.
"Yeah?" Phil said softly, cautiously.
Here it was. The perfect moment for Dan to just put it all out on the table, tell Phil he thought he was sort-of beautiful and he might have been just a little bit in love with him. It was his chance to find out if the feelings were reciprocated, or if this whole thing had been an entire bust. And all he had to do was say it.
"I..." He began, the words seeming heavy. But it was now or never, Dan thought. So he took a deep breath and swallowed his fear, ready to get it off of his chest.
"I'm bisexual."
Fuck.
The words betrayed Dan, and he hated himself for it. He had taken this golden opportunity and blown it. But he could give himself some credit—this was a step in the right direction, at least. Now Phil knew Dan liked boys as well as girls and maybe, just maybe, that was all Phil needed to hear.
Phil was quiet for a moment, his lips apart. What was he supposed to say? Great, so you like dudes, too. Gives me more of a chance, I guess. Haha. or So you go both ways? Any chance you wanna swing in my direction? No. Both of those were terrible replies and Phil hated his mind for even thinking them up. But he could've said something else, something along the lines of It's great that you've accepted yourself or even I'm happy for you. But instead, all that came out was, "Great."
They exchanged small smiles, but that was enough. Their facial expressions seemed to say what their mouths couldn't. But that was all that was said or done on the matter. For the rest of their little coffee "date," for lack of a better word, they went on with normal conversation.
And maybe, at the end of their meeting, they hugged once again and held each other extremely close and didn't let go for longer than was necessary.
And maybe, when Phil got home, he might've squealed a little loudly and kept a smile plastered on his face for the rest of the night because he finally felt like he had a chance.
And maybe, Dan felt the same way.
A/N: OH WOW KRISTEN BEST ENDING EVER LIKE NOT TERRIBLE AT ALL SERIOUSLY IT WAS THE BEST EVERRR*
*note: SARCASM
REVIEW RESPONSES:
ThatOneOverTheTopPhanGirl: *revives you because I love you so much* The real question here is why would Chris not be sexual? ;)
ImDREW: Aww, thank you! So sweet! *hearts* :D
InuNeko245: You're so very welcome! I'm happy I made you all cuddly and happy inside. :D
RocketshipRaven: I hope this chapter explained some more for your first question somehow. :) AND NOW I MADE THEM HUG AGAIN YES! Chris is totally a Phan girl... at least in my story. And hopefully in real life too... OH MY GOD SUPERNATURAL? I JUST STARTED WATCHING THAT RECENTLY AND I'M ONLY ON EPISODE 7 OF SEASON 1 BUT LIKE OH MY GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH AND THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS I HAVEN'T UPDATED BECAUSE UGH SUPERNATURAL! I'm sorry, I'm in love with that show... *sighs* I'm sorry it took so long to update... again. *shame* But... I love you? If that helps any... :D
NeverlandNat: OF COURSE DANYUL ISN'T MAD BECAUSE THIS IS PHIL WE ARE TALKING ABOUT. *coughs* I wanted them to hug so badly! And then slowly, the hug would end and they would pull away, looking into each other's eyes. Then Phil's eyes would flicker to Dan's lips and back and then Dan would take a leap and just lean in and kiss him and then they'd sto because Dan was nervous about Phil's reaction but then Phil would just grab the back of his neck and bring him in closer and... actually this could possibly be in th story later. . WHO KNOWS? (I know. Hehehehe) :D
Sasaphrinascream: When I read this, I started thinking of RAVETIME RAVETIME RAVETIME and then PHEELS. Thank you! :D
StarFox-chan: YES YOU SHOULD SHIP PHAN BECAUSE IT IS THE SHIP OF JOY AND LOVE AND HAPPINESS AND SWEET THINGS! Thank you and I LOVE YOU YES! :)
sushicat52: Aww, no you wouldn't wanna marry me. Seriously. Unless you'd be comfortable with a marriage that consisted of me staring at a computer screen all day and watching BBC. And eating. And sleeping. But that's as glamorous as it gets. AND YOU'RE EVEN MORE PERFECT! :D
lifelane: THEY WILL! Like, how could I write ALL of this and NOT let them get together? I've seriously had to stop myself SO many times from just letting them kiss and hug and be in love and just... pheels. :)
the-oncoming-storm-xx: Thank you so much! Of course Chris is a Phan shipper... somebody had to be. :D
DevTheManiac: OF COURSE HE WON'T RUIN THE BROMANCE! (Well, sort-of bromance, since they're both in love with each other and won't admit it) Dan would never hurt his Philip. :D
nonsensical. lolo: It's all good! At least you read it. :) DAN WON'T RUIN THE BROMANCE BECAUSE HE'S IN LOVE WITH PHIL DUH! Aww, I didn't even know what this dessert was... so I googled it. AND IT LOOKS FREAKING DELICIOUS! *virtual fudge because I'm not fancy and don't know many desserts* I may watch it once I get the time! I've started watching Supernatural now and it's so asdfghjkl;... ughhhh. :D
ImADanosaurRawr: That's everyone's complaint... *sigh* Sorry! And thank you so much for the sweet compliment! :D
Abi: Well... I have this thing some people refer to as "swag." Just kidding! But thank you so so so so much for this! :)
I realized as I was replying how many people thought Dan was going to be upset! I'm sorry for worrying you! Hopefully this chapter made up for it?
As always, thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! It puts a smile on my face! *all the love a person and give times infinity because that's how much I love you all*
(Oh my god I think this was the longest chapter so far woop woop party)
-Kristen