Day 8/60

Kensi opened her eyes tremulously. She was not used to take the sunlight directly in her eyes in the morning and then was when she remembered she was not sleeping at her house. She was at his house. Her eyes closed again and a smile took over her features. Kensi took her hand in his that was holding her by the waist and in his sleep he intertwined her fingers with hers. At least she thought he was sleeping until he kissed the crook of her neck.

"Morning, gorgeous." He mumbled placing a kiss on her cheek.

Kensi turned over to face him and Deeks laid the head over the pillow again, smiling and caressing her cheek with the thumb. "Gorgeous? My hair must be a mess, my-"

He pecked her lips slowly, whispering then. "It doesn't matter how much you try, you'll never look bad."

"You're sure about that?"

Deeks lifted the bed sheets and look at her under them, only wearing her lingerie. "Yup, I'm sure!" She laughed, pressing her hand against his mouth so he wouldn't say anything else. He kissed its palm, trailed kisses up her arm to her shoulder and then back to her lips. "Join me for a shower?"

"What's the point of having a shower here and then have to go home and change clothes?"

"I'm gonna be in that bathtub. Isn't that enough incentive?" He asked, pulling her by an arm out of the bed.

Kensi walked on her knees over the bed, enlaced her arms around his neck and kissed him, saying in his mouth. "It's an amazing incentive."

"I lo…" Deeks stopped his voice from coming out his mouth but stared her, thinking for a while what he was going to say. Again he had a taste of her mouth and pulled her off the bed. "You wanna show up for dinner tonight? The kids loved you and Lily got Zak this new game for the PlayStation and he's eager to try it. I'm sure everyone would love to have you there."

"Isn't it today that you're having that talking with that Lily and the lawyer?"

"Yes, it's this evening. If you say yes to the dinner, I pass by your house after the meeting and take you."

"I'll think about it, but this doesn't count as a dinner out."

"I know, I know, I'll make it up to you with another date."

"That's what I thought! You think I'm that kind of women who sleeps with the guy on the first date?" She said walking to the bathroom.

"No I don't, because, technically, after our first date we didn't get much sleep!"

Deeks knew he was already late to pick up Kensi like he said he would, but he had to have a talk with Dr. Hayley first. After a lot of insistence on his behalf, he got back the 60 days granted by law, but he bluntly admitted in front of Lily Penny and the lawyer that, for now, he didn't feel up to the task of being responsible of three children. Right now, he was the one who needed a talking with the psychologist. Dr. Hayley explained to him that that was a reasonable fear but that he needed to take things slowly. After all, he'll still have so many days to go by, he could change his mind.

Dr. Hayley also advised Deeks to take the next step with Zak. They seemed to be growing closer, so she suggested that Deeks took him to their parents' grave. She told him that that would shock a bit the kid and that the first days would be a bit rough, but that he needed it. Based on what she had on Zak at the moment, she knew he'd take it, well. Zak seemed to be comprehensive kid, but like everyone he just needed his own time. Having said that, Dr. Hayley also said that, once more, Zak needed to be proven that he was not the only one going through that kind of situation. She advised Deeks to take Zak not only to his parents' grave, but also to Kensi's father's grave or even Deeks' father's grave. The LAPD officer then decided to be doing that on the following week.

After that talking, he headed home, already bringing Kensi. Both Mimi and the kids welcomed Kensi very warmly, like if she was already part of the family. At some point, Lee even called her as Aunt Kensi, and after saying it once, the girl enjoyed it and continued addressing Kensi like that. And Kensi didn't mind a bit. She seemed to be fit in that little family so well.

Day 16/60

When Deeks confronted Zak with the idea of going to Logan's and Maggie's graves, he obviously got frightened. So frightened that when they came off the car, Zak held tightly in Deeks' hand and didn't let go a second. Before taking the boy to his parents' graves, he conducted him to Donald Blye's one. He had only visited it once or twice with Kensi, but it was enough for him to memorize where it was.

"See? This one was Kensi's father."

"She was fifteen, wasn't she?"

"Yes. She was a bit older than you, but it doesn't mean it is different in any way. She said she lost her best friend, and unlike you, she was the only child. And she lost her dad, just like you did."

"And her mom?" Zak let go Deeks' hand for a while.

"She's alive, but they didn't talk since Donald's death. Now they are making up for the lost years." The cop let the kid assimilate those thoughts before offering his hand to be held again. "Come on, there's some other grave you need to see." That particular one would be very harsh on Deeks. It'd be the first time would be visiting it. "I didn't know he was buried here. Actually, I didn't even know where he was buried and never wanted to know, but I did this for you, Zak."

"Who's he?" Zak asked when they stopped in front of a tombstone with the name Gordon John Brandel written on it.

"Was my father."

"Why you have never cared? Why you don't call him dad?"

"I'm gonna teach you the difference between father and dad. Father is the one who only cared about making you, nothing else. Is the one who has the cold blood to tell you you were conceived by accident. Dad is the one who cares about you every day, who treats you right. Who gives you love and protection and doesn't make you wield a shotgun to him." Deeks didn't take the eyes from the tombstone while he spoke.

"Why isn't your name Brandel too?"

"I changed my name when I hit 18. I changed from Martin Andrew Brandel to Martin Andrew Deeks."

"If you could see him right now, what would you tell him?"

"That I turned out just fine, and that I'll never be the kind of father he was to me."

Zak grasped tight Deeks' hand, saying. "You're right, Marty."

Deeks took then Zak to his parents' grave. The kid started crying and when the LAPD officer was going to give a few steps back so he could have some privacy, Zak hugged him and kept crying, mumbling. "Don't leave me too, Marty. Don't leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere, buddy. Do you want to stay here a bit alone? I'm staying right there, ok? I'm not going anywhere." Deeks slowly walked away from the kid him and let him there for a while, watching by distance.

Zak sat on the lawn, pulled the knees close to the chest and talked low to his parents. Deeks wished he could do that about his father, but he doesn't feel any love or appreciation for him. He wished he had had a good childhood like Zak, Lee and Eva are having. But he also felt that 'jealousy' about Kensi. Even though she was the only child, and a girl, her father loved her a lot, and taught her all the kinds of things that Deeks learnt by his own. He doesn't know where his mother is, he never cared about knowing where is father was. He just wanted to run away from all that, and like he said, he turned out just fine.

After a while, Zak came to meet Deeks, saying they could go home and when he entered the car, he even thanked him for taking him there. Both got home gloomily, sat on the table and ate, almost unwilling. All the kids and even Deeks moved to their bedrooms pretty early, although Deeks followed the boy, to have a little talk with him. Zak begged him to stay there until he had fallen asleep, and Deeks did it, staying by Zak's side until he surrendered to sleep. Then he walked to his bedroom and as soon as he fell over the bed, he fell asleep as well. Mimi was the only one was still wake, watching television when someone knocked on the door.

"Hola, chica. Come in." She said when she opened the door and saw Kensi standing there.

"Marty's home, right?"

"I just checked on him. He's sleeping already." Mimi stated, closing the door, walking with Kensi to the living room. "He and Zak had a very challenging afternoon."

"I know, he told me they were going to the cemetery. Well, if he's sleeping, I'm going-"

Mimi stopped Kensi before she could reach the entrance door. "Why are you going away? It's very late, I won't let you go away right now. Besides, if you came to see Marty, it must have been on something important, am I right?"

"Not really, Mimi. It's just we didn't see each other outside work for a week, and I thought about coming by, but… it's just silly, Mimi."

"There's no silly things in love matters. You miss him very much, don't you?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me!"

"Wrong?" Mimi laughed. "There's nothing wrong in missing someone. Go upstairs and stay for the night. Feel like you're home."

"I'm not going to wake him up, Mimi. He must be worn out."

"Or I'm badly mistaken or you won't even need to wake him up. Just lying down beside him will be enough. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mimi."

Kensi got his bedroom and found him sleeping back turned to the door. She only took off her shoes and carefully lay down next to him. She looked at him for a while. He looked so peaceful and deeply sleeping, but when she touched his hair and his face his lips drew the curve of a smile and he did that cute little touchy thing with his nose. And this time Kensi knew he was deeply sleeping, but that even unconsciously he could recognize her touch.

"Last week you were going to say that you love me, but you stopped." She whispered, still stroking his face. "I believe that you thought you'd scare me, but… but I'm in love with you too." Kensi brushed her lips on his and slowly pressed them. She then lied down close to him and fell asleep.

She was sleeping very well until her bladder decided that it couldn't hold it any longer. She got up slowly, trying to not make noise because right now it was deep night and everyone was sleeping. The thing is that Kensi didn't remember anymore where was the bathroom and she ended up entering on Eva's bedroom. The girl was standing on foot inside the crib and next to her was Lee, putting the pacifier in her sister's mouth.

"What you're doing here so late?"

"I can't sleep." Lee answered. "Neither Eva. Can we sleep with you Aunt Kensi?"

"Sure, I guess. Go to Marty's bed, I'll be right there." Kensi picked Eva in arms and put her on the floor.

The feeling of holding a child was new for Kensi, but something she liked it. She watched the baby girl walking hand in hand with her big sister, going to the other bedroom while she headed to the bathroom. When she returned to bed, the two girls were already lying down on the bed, next to Deeks, and Kensi had no other move than to lie down next to them. Seeing those two girls sleeping between her and Deeks made her mind travel to a place where she had kids of her own and where Deeks was still lying next to her. She thought she'd hate it, but all she wants is to keep doing her job and to get home at the end of the day, be with her kids and have someone by her side every day. And right now, it's not only Deeks who fantasizes about it…

As guys noticed I start writing the day number, so you always know where the action is unfolding.

This chapter a slightly longer and I think it turned out well. Do you agree?