Thanks to the inspiration of what happens to me in actual life, and also the suggestions from you epic people out there in the internet-land, I'm saved from total doom! If I meet my quota this week for Smiling Through a Monday, I can start working on other stories! Yay! Thank you,

nellabean

SabrinaNotscha

FlameSolaria

TheAlmightyFireHawk

JuniperGentle

GalaxyPegasus14

BBoyVengeance

For your inspiration and encouragement!

And any of the other people, please send in suggestions if you have any that you're not using!

Nile flinched as a crash came from the bathroom. He was sitting at the kitchen table, obscured by heaping plates of food, waiting for the others to arrive.

Mj had decided that they needed to have a Family Dinner tonight; it was something her parents liked, and even in their absence, like parents like daughter. And so she had requested the presence of Everybody at the dinner table tonight.

Normally she would have been happy with everyone floating in and out, grabbing what they wanted from the fridge over the evening whenever they pleased. Wandering out to the garage or living room, watching TV and working on projects as they ate at no given time whatsoever.

But everyone had come to terms with Mj's many multiple personalities. According to her parents, she had a mild case of Dissociative Identity Disorder, but everyone knew it was because of her Wild Authoress Half-fried brain. So when she did something wacky or out of the ordinary from her current stream of things, it didn't faze anyone much anymore.

Nile tuned in lazily to the conversation floating from the source of the crash - the bathroom.

"I was here first!"

"Yeah, but I turned on the water!"

"So what? You guys, let me through!"

"Move over, Kyouya! Why do you have to be so fat?"

"I'm not fat!"

"BEEE QUIEEET!" This was Ryuga. The three occupants of the kitchen - Mj, Tsubasa, and Nile - practically jumped through the roof.

"YOU BE QUIET!" Mj yelled back into the bathroom.

"DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"YOU DON'T YELL AT ME!"

"GET YOUR HANDS WASHED AND COME OUT HERE!"

Ryuga stomped out of the bathroom. "I WOULD have my hands washed if these WEIRDOS hadn't got in the way!"

"Use the other bathroom. What in the land of Gravy - "

"I never signed up for this", Ryuga mumbled, and stormed off in the other direction.

"Well that's off to a good start", Tsubasa commented.

"I don't need your input."

"Anyway", Nile said softly.

Tsubasa shrieked and fell off the stepstool he was standing on. Mj nearly burned herself on a hot pot of something-ness.

"Nile!", she gasped. "I had no idea you were back there. Come out here before somebody dies."

Nile came out from behind the plate of food. "Sorry, you guys."

"Come pick up Tsubasa. He's about to have a seizure." Nile helped Tsubasa up off the floor and Mj turned to tend to the pot of something-ness. (She was horrible at cooking, but everyone was secretly hoping that with Tsubasa's supervision the food would be edible.)

Finally Ryuga finished obsessively washing his hands and slouched down in a seat at the table. "Ryuga, you should really come here and take a look at Tsubasa, I think he broke a toe or something falling off the stepstool."

"Why me?"

Mj gave him a quizzical look. "I thought you were a doctor."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT."

"Owww."

"Nile, help him sit down. AGH! I think I burned it."

"Get outta the kitchen." Madoka came and shooed Mj away.

Mj took a seat at the table as Benkei came in, lagging behind Kyouya like a lost dog. They both found seats. "Question."

"Yes, Kyouya."

"How are we all supposed to fit here?"

"By...magic."

"Okay. I have FAITH IN YOU", Kyouya said, dramatically flinging an arm in the direction of the chandelier, his eyes shining with stage dramaticism.

"Ugh. Somebody find me the sedatives."

"At least he's in a good mood", Nile commented, as Kyouya glared his way.

"I meant for me. To save me from the misery of his acting."

"Hey, I'm not that bad."

"No, you're not. You're just overdramatic."

Kyouya fell to his knees on the ground. "Whyyy..." then he fake-died. Benkei applauded loudly and Mj rolled her eyes. "YU! DID YOU GIVE HIM CHOCOLATE AGAIN!"

Yu emerged from the bathroom, drying his hands on his jacket. "No."

"Go back there and finish washing the soap off your hands."

Yu returned to the bathroom as Madoka rested the pot of soup precariously in the centre of the table, and Mj attempted to fit plates around the edges.

As the rest of the crew filed out of the bathroom, Mj slid into a seat with a sigh. "You have no idea how much it takes to feed all you people."

"I don't care, I'm starving!"

"Thanks for the enthusiasm, Gingka."

Everyone started serving themselves food. At some point Masamune pushed Kyouya out of his chair. Pretty strange considering the difference in body weight.

"OOOGH...ALL THE LIGHHHTS ARE GOING OUUUUT..."

Kyouya lay on the floor, raising a dying arm to the sky.

"Benkei...say goodbye to Mousie for me..." here he referred to his precious cat.

"I will, Kyouya", Benkei said, practically sobbing.

"Kyouya, get in your chair and eat your food."

"You have no sympathy for one...who is dying..." Kyouya rolled his eyes back in his head. Mj copied his action, but for a totally different reason.

"Goodbye...cruel...world..." And then he cracked his head back on the tile floor with a shudder.

Mj shook her head. "Good riddance."

Kyouya climbed laboriously back into his chair. Masamune said, "Phew", happy that Kyouya had pretended to die rather than pummelling Masamune himself.

"Will you please pass the ketchup?" Gingka, who had been mercifully silent up til now, was back in action.

"Yes. Here." Mj handed it to him. Gingka took the bottle thankfully and turned it upside down over his plate, then passed it to the person next to him, all around the table.

When it circled back to Gingka, he took it again. "Gingka, I thought you got ketchup already."

"Yeah, but. I need more." He turned it upside down once more, but nothing came out. He shook it. He squeezed it harder. Then he got up, went to the vacant living room, and danced around like crazy. But nothing happened.

Panting heavily, he returned to his chair and peered inside the now-open bottle. Then the ketchup decided to spill its guts all over his face.

And the person next to him. And the person next to HIM. And...all the food on the table. Except the pudding, mercifully.

Kyouya clapped his hands to his chest and toppled backward, the front of his shirt covered in ketchup.

"How many times are you going to die tonight, Kyouya?"

"HE'S DEAD. SOMEBODY GET AN AMBULANCE", Benkei roared. Kyouya sat up and Mj shook her head.

"Pass the rolls, please."

Tsubasa grabbed a roll and held it out to Benkei, who accidentally sent it flying with a giant paw into Nile's face.

"Why does stuff like that keep happening? This isn't an ammo-fest, you guys", Ryuga muttered.

"People are just very clumsy", Luis philosophized. "I'm done. I need to go work on the fence."

"Hold on a second, you didn't eat dessert."

"I don't want dessert, the calories don't like my figure", Luis said vainly.

"Drama queen."

"III am the drama queen at THIS table", Kyouya said loudly. Everybody ignored him.

"It's drama KING, to you, Mj."

"There's no such thing. You're either a queen, or you're not."

"I'm not."

"You very much are."

"Say what you will. But I shall remain...EPIC-LOOKING." So saying, Luis returned to his beloved fence.

Mj would shake her head so many times it would fall off eventually. Of this Nile was sure.

Yu was having trouble reaching his plate. Nobody had noticed that a telephone book or two might be helpful. Just as nobody noticed when he grabbed his plate with a valiant effort and went for a picnic with Kenta beneath the table.

As one by one they finished their food and returned to the lives which they called "normal" - Masamune to the treehouse he was building, Ryuga to moping around and being dragon-y, and Benkei to wandering around listlessly in Kyouya's absence, Mj sighed with relief. The only ones left at (or under) the table, were herself, Kyouya, Nile, Kenta, and Tsubasa (who was rather banished there because of his fatal stepstool injuries).

Mj told Nile to take care of Tsubasa, and Kyouya to take care of the dishes. Then she switched their duties, thinking that she'd rather have a rather miffed Tsubasa than 65 broken glasses.

Kyouya knelt in front of Tsubasa, who gasped in pain when he touched him. "Oh, please, Tsubasa. You're such a drama queen."

Mj risked another head shake and started putting the food away, at which point Kenta emerged from beneath the table.

"Oh, Kenta! What were you doing down there?"

"Having a picnic, with Yu."

"Oh...why?"

"We couldn't reach the table. We're too short."

"You're chibi, that's all."

"I have no idea what that is."

"Go give Nile your plate to wash."

Afterwards, Mj decided family dinners that included such crazy guests were overrated.