5/30/2010

EDIT!... COMPLETE!

Alright, I'm finished with my self-appointed revise of this story so now I can finally get a move on with the next chapter, yay! :D I'll try to be quick and write it in two weeks' time cos I was starting to really, really miss this… :(

Hopefully some of my readers will still be interested in reading ^.^

Ja ne,
Temari 88

Hello everyone :D

Okay, I'm a slow writer, I think you've understood it by now, ne? ^^" But I'm here with another chapter of this story, yay! I was so happy I'd finished it and so eager to put it up, that I'd forgotten something: the small dialog at the beginning (and the song) XP Alright, sorry for keeping that cliffhanger hanging for two months...

Thanks to everyone for sticking with this fic! Now, on with the chapter! (Even if Iruka doesn't have big part here... sorry 'Ruka! ^^)

Ja ne,
Temari 88 XD

Together in all these memories
I see your smile;
all the memories I hold dear…
darling you know I love you till the end of time

- Memories
by Within Temptation -

"Seeing all the horrible things that happen around us makes me lose faith in people…"

"What makes you think that…?"

"What I see and hear, daily; what I recall from my own memory…you know what I mean: you've seen it as well."

"Yeah, yeah I did. Some people rejoice in hurting others… but I think we should try and look at the bright side…!"

"I admire your will power, but sometimes it's just not that easy."

"… True but you know me – I'm tough, 'm not gonna get beat down easily either."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"Uh! Plus, we gotta keep on living, so that those we lost can watch over us and be proud of who we've become!"

"Yes… we should never forget the people that cared and trusted us…"

(CHAPTER 11)

"… What… did you… say…?" whispered Naruto feebly; of all the things he had thought Kakashi would ask, that hadn't even crossed his mind. He was so honestly shocked, he couldn't really feel anything – all he could do was blink up at Kakashi who, on his part, kept gazing at the boy unblinkingly with his unmasked eye, his grey pupil so intense and focused that it was as if he was facing an endless pool.

"You heard me, Naruto." he replied quietly. His trained sight taking in every tiny and close-to-invisible shifting of the blond boy's body. The man didn't really want to do this, but he had no other choice: he was one of those in charge of investigating on what happened to his former sensei and most of his family… and even if Sarutobi-san had disagreed on letting him handle the case, Kakashi knew he would have done everything in his power to find out the truth - it was his duty both as on officer and as an ojii-san. "I know you saw… and I know it hurts to think about it, but if we want to understand, I need you to do this for me…"

Naruto had closed his big blue eyes, squeezing them so hard he was seeing millions of white little lights behind his eyelids; he resisted the urge to lift his hands to his ears to bock out Kakashi's words. "Why…? Why 's he doin' this?" Naruto squeezed his eyes even harder, gritting his teeth as he inhaled a lungful of air to calm himself, but failing… "I don't wanna remember…!"

In his mind's eye, an image of his family formed unwillingly. His father, his mother, his sister… all smiling brightly in what those close to the Namikaze family used to call 'the supernova grin' - typical of the four of them - and they were beckoning him to go to them, with eager hand gestures and the blinding bright presence and easy-going jokes that he couldn't hear and… it made his heart throb with the very injustice of it all: they were not bad people. "THEY WERE NOT! Then why?"

"… Kakashi-jiji…"

"Yes…" the man's right brow furrowed imperceptibly; he was somehow put off by Naruto's reaction – the refusal he had put up at first had somehow melted away (though the kid had still his eyes closed tight), leaving a wound up seven year-old sitting stiffly on the bed – because he had expected his oi to shut him out like he sometimes did when this particular subject was touched.

"… Tou-san was not… he wasn't a bad person…"

"No, Naruto. He was the best man I've ever had the honor of calling sensei and friend. Without his help, this city would be in a so much worse position…" said Kakashi. He could imagine what was going on inside the blond boy's mind: he couldn't understand the reason why his family, over all, had to be wiped out. "Also your mother and Saya-chan were good people. What happened to them is cruel and unfair – that's why I need to know what you remember, Naruto…"

The boy looked up to stare his ji-ji in the eye, blue irises dulled by sadness and round face strangely devoid of expression; Naruto could feel a steady pulse building up in his skull as the beginning of a headache made itself known – he didn't want to revive his last night as a child with a family: it hurt too much… yet he knew he didn't have any choice and he guessed having to do it in front of Kakashi was much better than having to answer to some stranger's questions… "Alrigh', Ji-ji… but I don't think I'll help much…"

Kakashi nodded, making sure that Naruto understood that he had no intention of forcing him to remember any more than what he had seen – he didn't want to torture his charge; he didn't need any more pressure. "That's fine, Naruto. I just need to know what you saw."

There was a long pregnant silence during which Naruto changed position on the bed, finally settling with his back painfully rigid and his legs bent under his body; his blue eyes trained on his hands – entwined in his lap – as they clenched and relaxed. "… That morning was normal enough: Kaa-san wakin' Saya an' me, getting' breakfast, shakin' Tou-san awake 'cause he hadn't heard the alarm; him rushin' 'bout trying ta do everything at the same time 'til Kaa-san pinned 'im on a chair and made him eat… mom had a day off from the hospital an' she'd decided goin' shopping with Saya. Dad drove me to school, then went to work…"

"Wait, why was Saya-chan at home?"

"Her school was on vacation." answered the boy before continuing. "… Anyway… I was at school 'til midday playin' around with Sasuke and the others, then I remember Itachi-san coming to pick up Sasuke an' they offered to give me a ride. They dropped me in front of the gate an' I went in… everythin' looked normal - I mean, there was nuthin' out of place and I didn't hear sounds… only the TV; I went into the living room but it was empty, the kitchen was too… upstairs I found Saya-chan playin' in her room; I looked for Kaa-san but it was like she was gone, then I heard her voice: she was in her and Tou-san's bedroom, talkin' on the phone."

"Was it something important? Did you hear what she was saying?"

Naruto shook his head, throwing a glance at Kakashi and went on. "Didn't pay attention, it did sound like something serious… but I didn't go in. The rest of the day was sorta boring… but there was a… heavy feeling in the air – I could feel it, a chill that made me shudder - I saw a dark look on Kaa-san: she wasn't as cheerful as usual and her shoulders were stiff… it was like she was expectin' something ta happen…"

Kakashi never looked away from the boy; observing every detail, trying to understand if Naruto was leaving things out – painful things that he didn't want to relive but that may be important to put the happenings back together, making the whole picture clear. It was not easy for the man to maintain some sort of balance between the 'ji-ji' and the 'cop', it was a difficult position because he cared a lot for Naruto and could empathize with him, yet he had a part of him that just wanted to shut down all emotions to keep his mind cool and clear, so he could absorb everything that might turn out as useful – like that phone call.

"Tou-san came home early too…" Naruto had gone back to stare at his hands. "he helped me with homework, but he was very worried 'bout somethin'…" Kakashi narrowed his eye imperceptibly at that but didn't comment. "we ate dinner and we had just gone in the living room ta watch TV together, when… the window exploded and a, uuh, smoke shot out of somewhere and I couldn't see anythin' anymore… I heard some shouts and I tried to find Saya-chan – she was sitting near me – but she wasn't there; there was noise and sounds of things getting broken and of a fight… the smoke was too much so all I saw were shadows…"

Naruto's face had lost a good portion of his color as the recounting went on, yet his whole appearance was so stoic, so emotionless, it was like the things he was describing did not happen to him, in front of him… and, admittedly, it almost scared Kakashi (and the worst part had yet to come). "So… are you saying you didn't actually see who barged into the room? Because of the smoke?"

"No, I did see who it was." answered the boy, frowning slightly before going back to a blank expression. "It took some time before the smoke was gone… when I could see again, I saw the room was a mess – the table in the center broken, the shelves hangin', the couch upside down and feathers and dust floatin' – and Tou-san was fightin' a long-haired man with a knife near the TV… another man with glasses was holdin' onto Kaa-san, a gun at her head… I was down near the wall dividing the corridor and the living room, no one noticed me so I tried to find my nee-chan… she was on the floor, face down… in a pool of blood…"

Kakashi's eye widened, surprised, and tried to say something comforting but found the rigid, stone-like posture of the blond child so overwhelmingly emotionless that he couldn't utter a word – the man knew Naruto was just trying to protect himself form the burning pain he was surely feeling, still it was so un-Naruto-like it was frightening. "Naruto…?"

The seven year-old made no movement to indicate he had heard him; his lips just went on talking as if nothing interrupted him. "Kaa-san was cryin', I think… I was cryin' too maybe… I didn't get when Saya was hit… next thing I know, Tou-san got kicked in the stomach and while he tried to stand up, the man he'd been fighting neared me, pickin' me up from the front of my pjs… think he slapped me or somethin' but I was so shocked I couldn't feel anything…" one of the tiny hands resting on Naruto's lap came up to lightly trace the scars on his right cheek. "that guy… he lifted the knife and cut through my skin… I don't know how long it took, I jus' know that, with each cut, Kaa-san and Tou-san's faces became more and more white…"

Even though Naruto was obviously trying to hide it, his hands had begun to shake visibly. Kakashi himself could feel his insides twist as he tried to imagine how it might feel like – being too young to do anything more than watch your parents (normally so strong and full of pride) ask to leave the kid alone and take them instead – only to bring himself out of it, because he couldn't let go: his adopted nephew needed him. The man kept silent; the end of the – horrible - tale was close.

"… Kaa-san freed herself from the four-spectacled guy – I dunno how - and attacked the one holdin' me… I fell down, coughin' for some time… my ears were ringing badly, I couldn't sort through the sounds; I was 'bout to look up again to see what was happenin', when I felt somethin' wet hit my hand – somethin' red – and then a someone fell down near me: Kaa-san, with a cut on her neck… and blood getting' out of it… I-I think I fainted then cuz I don't… remember anything else, just… all that red…" Naruto buried his little hands in his blond hair and shook his head helplessly, a sting of pain in the back of his mind making him wince a bit. "I dunno how I ended up in that bedroom… maybe I blacked out after I ran away… I don't know…"

"… It's still too soon for you to know the full extent of what really happened back then… Kit."

Kakashi finally moved, draping an arm gently over the boy's shoulders and pulling him near. "It's all right, Naruto. It's fine. This is really more that I would have liked to put you through, but I had no choice…" when the boy looked up at him, the cop smiled reassuringly. "Now, do you feel up for sleeping some…?"

Naruto wasn't sure he would be able to sleep after what he had just revived, but it was actually quite late and he was tired both psychologically and physically so he nodded, pulling back the covers, snuggling into the pillow and slowly closing his eyes. In a matter of minutes, the young orphan was asleep, a strange humming sound echoing in some hidden corner of his mind – a lullaby of sorts.

The twenty-four year-old remained staring at the slightly disturbed face of his sensei's legacy in a deep contempt: there was no doubt about the authenticity of what Naruto had just told him – he knew the kid well enough to be sure he couldn't lie if his life depended on it – so that didn't worry him… Naruto loved his family more than his own life, it was plain clear the pain he was feeling. No, what Kakashi couldn't explain (even to his own self) was why he believed there was more to it that what he had just heard… there was no reason for Naruto to hide things from him; plus it had looked as if Naruto didn't know anything more…

– And yet…

"Kyuubi…"

… A small sliver of doubt continued to float around in his head…

"What the hell is 'Kyuubi'…?"

The next day, shortly after breakfast, Kakashi thought it was time to get the hell out of the house before Iruka decided he got tired of having him around and simply threw him out the door with his bag.

Naruto had woken up earlier than usual, acting like nothing of the discussion he had had with his ojii-san ever happened – maybe he even thought it had all been a bad dream or something along those lines – but the cop did not ask for explanations: knowing the kid, Naruto would pretend to not hear him, calling him 'silly Ji-ji' or throwing a cold stare his way and then pretend he hadn't heard him. So the two of them said goodbye normally, with a hug and a pat on a blond head and a smile – they would see each other soon anyway.

-x-

"… Not that I really care, but" started a quiet voice from his right. "is there something wrong with you?"

Naruto looked up from his fable book to focus on the green eyes that were trained on him, trying not to give away the faint worry the other boy held in them. It was little past dinner time (8.30 pm) and he and Gaara were both in the living room, one cross-legged on the floor and the other on the green arm-chair in the corner and both were – surprisingly – reading (thought Gaara was keen on more difficult volumes than his blond friend) while Iruka finished cleaning the kitchen.

The red-haired child had been observing Naruto all day and the night before he had also heard voices coming from the room where the blond boy and the cop where to sleep; thanks to Shukaku's demon senses, Gaara had been able to hear the low murmuring of voices and, though he hadn't understood very well, he was sure the conversation had been about the reason why Naruto was currently living in that house. Gaara was far from oblivious, so he knew something with Naruto's parents must have happened (his intuition somehow reinforced by the weird 'speech' he didn't forget having said to a sleeping Naruto) and the other must have seen some, or all, of it… and if he was right, than there was no surprise Naruto was so reticent to talk about it.

"Wrong?" answered Naruto, lifting an eyebrow. "There's nuthin' wrong! What makes ya think that?" he laughed a little to ease out the tension but it was obvious to the red-haired that he was faking it: he was far from alright.

"You know… you're not as good an actor as you might think, Naruto." he stated calmly, waiting for a reaction – it wasn't an accusation, just a fact – that arrived quickly: the laugh froze immediately and with it, his whole body went rigid, the blue eyes lost most of their light. "Wow… I wasn't expecting such a drastic change…" he thought surprised.

"Oh really?" Shukaku's voice sounded almost accusing inside his mind. "Tha' was a low blow… ya coulda asked 'im more nicely…"

"And you think he would have answered?"

"Well, no, but still. I forgot ya could be so tactless sometimes…"

"… Are you quite done? I'd like to pay attention if he ever decides to start talking…"

"Maa, how rude o' me. Please go!" with a sarcastic salute, Shukaku went back to sleep.

During Gaara's mini conversation with the sand demon, Naruto had relaxed somewhat and had let the breath he had been holding go. He had closed the book in front of him, turning to face Gaara fully, waiting for the other to come back to the real world – he had already gotten used to those random spacing out moments – and focus on him. The blond was completely astonished by the fact that Gaara had read him so well because, although he knew it was not so difficult to see through him, as of now only Kakashi and few others – namely Sasuke, Sarutobi-ojii-chan, Hinata-chan and oddly-or-maybe-not Shikamaru – could understand him so well (his parents and sister sadly didn't count anymore), all because they had know him for a lot of time… but Gaara… he was different, even if they barely knew each other it was like they were meant to stick side by side… he couldn't explain it, but he didn't mind it. Maybe it was thanks to that closeness that the red-haired boy had sensed something was wrong with him?

"Why—no, how didja know I wasn't feelin' okay…?" asked Naruto once jade eyes finally focused on him again. The other cocked his head to the side, considering – Naruto had taken it a lot better than he had thought.

"Uhm, I guess the gloomy cloud over your head pointed me in that direction. In addition, you might not realize it, but it's quite easy to see when you're faking – trying to fake – smiles: after seeing them day in and day out, you notice the difference…"

"Easy, you say… mph!" Naruto couldn't help the snort as he stared skeptically at the other seven year-old. "… Ya know most don't find it as easy as ya seem ta think… don't understand how, but ya can read me without effort… 'm surprised, in a good way, but still surprised."

It was Gaara's turn to be skeptical, how could this simple-minded kid be that unreadable? It was hard to believe. "Tz' I don't believe you." "I'm no mind reader, how the hell would I understand this baka on sight?"

"Aha! Wasn't planning to tell ya, but I see ya've discovered it on yar own!" Shukaku shouted in a dramatic voice and a creepy TA-DA-DA-DAAA! music wafting from a CD player.

"WHAT? I can really read minds…?"

"No. Hahaha!"

"Gah! Idiot tanuki! Stop messing around…! What are trying to do?" embarrassed, Gaara suppressed the fierce blush scalding his guts with shame.

"Hey, no need ta be rude; 'M trying ta ease tha tension, here!"

"Go to hell!" Gaara was seething, anger oozing out and reaching Shukaku, who shrugged it off like nothing.

"Yar mind's my Hell, my dear; sure, could be worse: I coulda be stuck inside Naruto-kun's mind, o'er there…" and then he was back in his corner, playing poker with himself and losing.

Naruto sweat dropped as Gaara, firstly, got another space-out moment and then started muttering things like 'worse time ever' or 'I'll kill myself just to kill him'… that guy was freaking crazy, he was beginning to get worried… he should tell Iruka-jiji about it, least they woke up one day to find out they had been killed by a mad Gaara munching on a cookie and wearing a tanuki costume— "What the HELL? Where did that come from?"

"Um guys…?"

Iruka's voice tore through the boys' thoughts as he informed them they could go watch a movie or some other thing over in Gaara's room if they wanted, because he had some work to catch up on and he needed quiet – the next day vacation ended for workers. The boys still had another week before school started again… which reminded Iruka of something: if Naruto was to stay with him and Gaara for an undetermined amount of time, they had to think about the school arrangement because there was no way he could drive both boys every morning – they went to different institutes, on opposite sides of Konoha – and he couldn't very well count on Kakashi-san, as the man lived a good twenty minutes from Iruka's house and they both had their own jobs to get to in time…

The social worker thought he could talk to the boys and to Kakashi-san to find a solution; maybe transfer one of the two… Iruka decided to ask Gaara and Naruto what was the name of their school, the nearest of the two could be contacted to see if it was possible to get a new student in even if it was already January… that is, if the kids agreed.

"Well, I'll think about it… for now let's get on with this…" thought Iruka as he picked up the first of the half dozen files in front of him.