A/N: Little parody work was needed on this one, but I think it's funny anyway. Shout out to the hat, I love it when Danny wears it. To the tune of 'Larry's High Silk Hat.'
Walter: One day while he was waiting at the Stargate,
He had a hat.
Daniel: My boonie hat!
Walter: He wore it high upon his head so proudly,
A camo hat.
Daniel: My boonie hat!
Walter: A hat like this just makes him feel so grandly
Now fancy this and fancy that.
The splendor of his hat in all it's majesty:
Daniel: Like a king in a royal cap.
I feel so swell and handsome in my hat,
I bet that others wish they had in fact,
A hat as this, a hat as that, a hat so fine, a boonie hat!
Oh, Ms. Samantha Carter, now what do you think of that?
Walter: Now his hat was not all he wore so proudly.
I must in fact share more than that.
For upon his lap there sat a jar so fondly:
An earthen jug.
Daniel: An artifact!
Walter: Mysteriousness that makes him feel so dandy!
Daniel: The Ancients left this artifact!
Walter: A rare find such as this is more than chancy,
Somewhat like life, a jar of that.
Daniel: I have this vessel placed upon my lap.
I feel so good, you just cannot top that.
An artifact, it's in my pack, an Ancient this and Ancient that!
Oh golly, Jack O'Neill, now what do you think of that?
Walter: Now time was passing and the sun grew hotter
Upon his hat and his artifact.
So beneath his hat he thought and pondered:
Daniel: What should I do to save my hat?
Walter: He thought and contemplated as he perspired
Beneath his hat, upon his lap.
He feared his epic find would soon retire
Into dry dust, crumble like that!
Daniel: I won't feel grand if I take off my hat!
The sun's getting hot and my hat just might go flat
My hat, it might go flat, and my jar dry out and splat!
Oh, hurry General Hammond before my dapperness goes flat!
Walter: He decided to forego his looks so dashing
To save his hat and artifact.
So he placed the jar upon the ground beside him
And put his hat on top of that.
Daniel: Oh please! Oh please, oh please!
Don't anybody step close to me, upon my hat!
I ask, if all of you could be so kindly,
And just stand back, away from my hat...!
*Teal'c accidentally steps on the hat/artifact*
Daniel: A big Jaffa just stepped upon my hat!
A big Jaffa just squished my hat real flat!
He squashed my hat, he made it flat,
He squished my jug, oh what of that?
Oh tell me anybody, now what do you think of that?
Team: A big Jaffa just stepped upon his hat!
A big Jaffa just squished his hat real flat!
He squashed his hat, he made it flat,
He squished his jar, oh what of that?
*Stargate ka-whooshs and everyone goes through except Daniel and a sergeant*
Daniel: Oh golly... uh, what's your name?
Sergeant: They've never given me a name.
I have been around since season one and I still don't have a name...
Daniel: Now what do you think of that?