Disclaimer: Digimon is copyrighted by Akiyoshi Hongo and produced by Toei Animation, Disney, Saban, and TOKYOPOP. I only own the plot, and no profit will be made in any way.

Thoughts of the Children

In Front of the Kendo: Cody Hida

I was usually a very happy kid, one who was persistent and excited. I always loved to learn new things and experiment them to see if I liked them or not. I never enjoyed loneliness or discomfort; it always made me depressed and somewhat scared. I never enjoyed that.

Then, when I was around seven-and-a-half years old, my heart became shattered and buried with darkness, a darkness that I started to sink into. When Mom told me the news that my father was shot and killed, I became very heartbroken and very depressed. I never felt so sad or so angry in my life. As I lied in bed the first day without my father, I told to myself, "Dad, how can you leave me?", and I wept myself to sleep.

As time went by, I became lonely, quiet, and depressed. I never did the things that I once did when I was a very happy child, and it affected my mom, too, even though it was more subtle and more subdued than my reaction.

However, she was known as a very dedicated woman, and couldn't love her more than anything. Plus, she never thinks for herself and was very concerned about me more than her own well-being. To help me get over my time of mourning, she came to my side and told me that she had found a solution to help me put this tragedy behind me: kendo practice. And the following day, she took me to Grandpa's gym and signed up for a private practice once a week. I wasn't so sure about doing it, but I started to feel a bit of relief that my past was about to be put behind me.

The practice did help me… a little bit. It allowed me to vent all that frustration out of me, but I still felt that dark cloud float over my head; I felt lost, confused, and cold. That was when I met Yolei in the school cafeteria. We had a talk and we became instant friends. That was the beginning of the healing process for me, even though I still had very disturbing flashbacks now and then.

Several months later, after we beat the Digimon Emperor, I couldn't help but detest Ken. My friends thought it was because of his cruelty to the defenseless digimon, but they were only half-right. The other was because his attitude resembled a bully that I frequently encountered just after my father passed away. He looked like that bully in every single way, all except the voice and notoriety. His infamy at the time was extremely larger than Ken's mysterious disappearance. And it just made me feel very sick to think about that.

When Ken arrived to the Punimon village and destroyed Thundermon, I was thankful that he saved me, but I felt even angrier than ever, mainly because he killed a digimon. He committed murder! And that made me pity him, because the next time I was a few feet from him, I wanted to beat him up so badly that he wouldn't be able to leave the Digital World alive. That was how angry I was.

But after T.K. started to realize a connection between the Golemon and the Thundermon, saying that the Thundermon was a Control Spire digimon just like what Golemon was, I felt a sharp pain of deep regret for thinking about killing him. It also made me realize that if I tried to do what I thought, I would be no better than the Digimon Emperor or that bully themselves, if not, worse.

Maybe that was why I was able to see through BlackWarGreymon's cold, hard shell. I could tell that there was some struggle of emotions inside him. From what I saw, BlackWarGreymon had an alter ego of some kind. One personality is a cold, ruthless digimon who would destroy everything in his path, while the other is kind, but very confused. It was like he was a zombie in his own mind.

That day when BlackWarGreymon got struck by that dark force that surrounded Oikawa, and then died shortly thereafter, I felt sad for him, yet I felt happy for him, too. I'm not sure why I felt happy for him, maybe it was because he showed he had a heart and that he was capable of caring for others. Plus, I feel like I'm indebted to him, for he sacrificed his own life to save Grandpa.

Finally, when we all found out why Oikawa was manipulated like the way he was, then died just before he had the chance to step into the Digital World, I couldn't help, but grieve for him, not only because he wasted his life away by giving up his soul to MaloMyotismon, but also because he was never able to fulfill his opportunity to do what he wanted to do.

When I got home after beating MaloMyotismon, I told myself that from now on, every time I enter the Digital World, they will be dedicated to not only my father, but also Oikawa, knowing that their spirits will guide my family towards the imminent future. And I know that their memories and inspirations will guide me, too…

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