Title: Duplicity and Love
Rating: M
Summary: Can you fall in love in 10 days? Can you push someone to the edge of insanity in 10 days? Edward is a bachelor risking fifty grand on the line and Bella is a writer for a prominent woman's magazine. Loosely based on How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days. AU, AH, & OCC. Canon pairings.
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I own nothing.
Comments: I love the movie and thought it could be fun to write the Twilight AH version of it.

A/N: Thank you staceygirl. She has been doing a great job keeping my grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. in check.

This is 7/10.

What happened to the Volvo?

Chapter 11

Edward POV

"You got sick?" Emmett said laughing.

"Were you listening?" I hissed. "She drove my fucking car!"

Of course Emmett would find the humor in me getting sick. He was childish like that. I guess I was too because all I could talk about was my car.

Emmett rolled his eyes as he slurped up another forkful of pasta. We were having lunch. After Bella's little stunt last night I was livid. I couldn't take my frustration out on her, so I called Emmett.

"Oh, so what?" he snapped. "It's just a car, Eddie."

"Shut up," I spat. "I can't believe she drove my car! Can you believe she left a scratch on my door? Yeah, it looked like she parked too close to the curb, and the door scraped across the pavement."

"Boo hoo!" he snorted. "You can get that fixed. I'm sure Rose could fix it up for you."

"That's not the point, Emmett! She dinged my car and didn't have the decency to tell me! It's my car!"

I knew I was crazy to be this worked up over a scratch. To many people their car was just a car. To me, my car was my baby. I loved my car.

"You should be thanking her," Emmett said bringing me out of my inner tantrum. "You were sick. What else could she do, walk?"

"I wouldn't have been sick if she had just told me she couldn't cook."

"Still," he reasoned. "She did the right thing, and she obviously cares for you. I mean she didn't have to take care of you, so be grateful for her."

Hell no I was not grateful for her. What was there to be grateful for? The scratch on my car? My girly decorated apartment?

I tried my best to remain calm around Bella. She'd done many things to make me pissed off, but so far I'd been successful at keeping my temper in check. She was really pushing my limits though; I could feel my patience evaporating every time we went out.

Last night was single handedly the most terrible night I'd ever endured. I was sick; I felt like shit. On top of that, Bella drove my car.

Yeah, I knew I should be grateful that she was kind enough to get me medicine and take care of me, but she drove my car!

I wasn't going to let that go easily.

I finished my lunch, and switched conversation topics. If I talked about the car for one more minute I'd combust.

Our whole family was going to California. We went every year for the foundation, and we always look forward to it. Most of the time mom and I would be busy with brunches, meetings, and the big event. Even though I'd be busy I extended my stay for a few more days. Since Bella was coming I knew I had to pull out all the stops for her.

I had plans for going to museums, parks and other attractions. Yeah, she made me pull my hair out, but I was invested in our relationship. I had to keep pretending that I really cared for her.

"You ready to go to California?" Emmett always loved to visit Disneyland. He loved Space Mountain, and Alice was his partner in crime. They were the thrill seekers of the family.

"Yeah," I replied. "Are we having Rose's baby shower there?"

Our trip to California was pretty important. Not only business wise, but we had friends who lived there. Rose loved going to California, because she got to catch up with her old ballerina friends.

Ever since Rose announced she was pregnant she and mom had been planning an elaborate baby shower. It might be a little early, but Rose loved the idea of having her shower in California.

"Sure are. She's so excited."

"Aren't you guys worried you might get the wrong gifts?"

Emmett quirked an eyebrow, and said, "Wrong gifts? As opposed to 'right gifts?"

"Shut up, smartass. You guys don't even know the sex of your baby. Doesn't that matter when it comes to gifts?"

"Nahh," he replied. "Just buy something with yellow or green. Unisex, Edward. A baby is a baby… they won't care if their jumper is yellow or blue."

"I guess you're right. Alice must be having a cow though."

Emmett smiled. "Yeah, I'll bet she is. Oh well, she'll get over it. So what are you and Bella doing today?"

I scowled at the sound of her name. Yeah, I shouldn't act this messed up, but I had my illogical reasons. My car.

"I'm taking her out for coffee and dessert."

"That's all? Sounds kind of lame."

"I'm playing it safe," I said. "Besides I have plans for us when we get to California."

"Really? Like what?"

"Forget it, Emmett. I've got this covered."

"Do you?" he asked. "Because it sounds to me like you're struggling."

I didn't answer him.

He had a point. I was struggling. The very reason I called him to meet me for lunch gave me away.

I didn't think my plans for the night were lame. It had potential for intimacy, and I knew Bella had a sweet tooth.

After Emmett and I finished lunch, I headed back to my place. Henry was getting better at being home alone. He wasn't independent, but he was pretty resilient for his age.

When I got home, I fed Henry and then started doing some laundry.

Henry padded into my bedroom and sat in front of me.

"Hey, little guy."

He looked at me and wagged his tail.

"Not now, okay? I need to finish this first."

He wanted to go out for a walk. It was funny how well we'd both adjusted to each other. I never thought I'd be the pet type of guy, but Henry was easy going and playful. He wasn't that difficult to look after.

Henry sprawled out on the carpet and tucked his head over his front paws. It was nap time for him.

I did a load of darks and tackled my whites.

Bella called twice while I was out, and I had yet to call her back. I had time because usually she'd call at least five times before I called her back.

My lunch with Emmett didn't help. I wasn't quite sure what I was hoping for when I called him. This whole thing was his idea. I wasn't about to throw in the towel, but maybe I wanted some reassurance that I could make Bella fall in love with me. Maybe I just needed to vent. I don't know.

There were many things about Bella that puzzled me. On the surface she looked like an ordinary girl. She was soft and pretty, but her personality was a whole other thing. At times I felt like she was two complete different people. She could be normal, but at other times she was neurotic.

I went into the kitchen and called Bella.

It was my usual time to call. She answered on the first ring.

"Eddie!" she gushed. "I missed you today! I can't wait to see you tonight. I'm so excited!"

Her enthusiasm knew no bounds.

"Hi, sweetheart," I replied. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again. I missed you too."

That wasn't a total lie. I was looking forward to tonight. I just didn't miss her.

We talked for a few more minutes. Bella mentioned she was out shopping with some of her friends. After I hung up, I called for Henry.

He came immediately.

"Good boy," I said. I knelt down and fastened the leash around his neck. "You ready to go out?"

He barked letting me know he was more than ready.

I took Henry around the neighborhood. The air was crisp and chilly. Winter was coming, and I'd have to bring out my heavier coats and jackets. There was something about wintertime that seemed romantic. The snow and the weather were perfect for winter dates. As I saw a couple waling past me, hand in hand with a cup of coffee in the other, I wondered if Bella and I would be like that. Would we have romantic winter dates? We could walk around or go ice skating. No, forget that. She couldn't even roller blade. I doubted she could ice skate. I laughed to myself. It was silly to think about Bella ice skating.

I pushed away thoughts of a clumsy Bella ice skating. That's when it hit me. I was thinking of Bella and me long term. Oh shit. I couldn't possibly be thinking that far down the road. She was more than enough for me to handle temporarily. Could I really handle more of her for a longer period of time? I was barely pulling it together after a week! No, I couldn't think of her like that. I had a bet to win. I couldn't let myself think like that anymore. After day ten, I'd break it off with her. I had to, because I sure as hell couldn't handle anymore scratches on my car.

When Henry and I got back, I let him wander around while I went to the hallway closet.

For my date with Bella, I decided to take her to a local coffee shop. I wanted this date to be really mellow and low key as opposed to our painful date from last night. I needed to be in control tonight. The good thing was that Bella was meeting me at the coffee shop. I wasn't bound to drive her and vice versa. Emmett was right when he said that my date sounded lame. What else could Bella and I do before we ran out of conversation? That was why I went to my hallway closet where there was an arsenal of board games.

I brought out Scrabble and a deck of cards.

Maybe a little friendly competition could bring something different out of Bella. I shuddered at that thought. Did I really want to see another side of neurotic Bella?

Forget it. I was in this relationship for the money. I could handle anything Bella threw at me.

I was meeting Bella at six. I wanted us to have an early dinner so we could enjoy our coffee and games.

I left Henry a fresh bowl of water and gave him a pat on his head.

"See you, buddy. I'm off to see mommy. Wish me luck okay? I'm hoping for a relaxing date."

He ignored me, and continued to drink.

I chuckled at him. "I'll be back later. Bye."

Please let Bella be normal tonight!

***

Bella POV

If I felt guilty before, I sure as hell felt awful now. I made Edward sick.

Last night he was in so much pain, it killed me to know I was responsible for his discomfort. I was lucky he didn't have to go to the hospital! Oh my gosh! I could've killed him! People died from food poisoning, right? Ugh. I didn't want to think about it anymore.

"I can't believe you cooked for him, Bella."

I was out shopping with Angela and Jessica. I didn't like going shopping, but I needed to buy some special items for my trip to California with Edward.

"I didn't think he'd get sick," I said weakly. "Look, I feel bad enough; can we please talk about something else?"

"Okay," said Jessica. "Let's talk about that scratch you put on his car."

"What about it?"

"Did you do it on purpose?" asked Angela.

"No," I replied. I really didn't! It was a simple mistake on my part. I parked his car too close to the curb, and yeah.

They laughed. "You're so bad, Bella!"

Yes, I was, and I wasn't proud of myself.

We were in Victoria's Secret. I had this funny idea of getting a bunch of granny panties from Wal-Mart, and a bunch of sexy ones from Victoria's Secret. Since I was going away with Edward for the weekend, I wanted to tease and confuse the hell out of him.

I figured he'd be the kind of guy who liked lingerie. Personally, I was the kind of girl who liked Hanes cotton underwear. Okay, so maybe I liked the simple bikini style from Victoria's Secret too, but Hanes was way more comfortable.

"Oh, Bella! You should wear this!" Jessica said, holding up a white chemise.

"Uh, no!"

"Why not?"

"For the love of god, Jess! I'm not trying to seduce him!"

Oh hell. I said that a little louder than I wanted to.

Angela giggled and cleared her throat. "Why not have a little fun with him Bella? He's hot. You said so yourself, so why not…"

I cut her off. "No!"

"Bella…"

"What?"

"Why are we here? If you're not going to parade around in your underwear for him then why are we here?"

Huh. Good question.

"It's all part of my plan," I said. "Edward and I are going to be sharing a room, and I need to be prepared for everything, so I need a variety of undergarments. I'm not trying to seduce him; I just want to push some of his boundaries."

"That sounds risky," Angela said with a frown. "He's been a gentleman so far, but who's to say he won't pounce on you when you're at the hotel? You have nowhere to go! He's your date for the entire weekend! Maybe you shouldn't go."

"I have to go," I said seriously. "Esme invited me. I can't back out now."

I wasn't worried about Edward. Oddly enough, I felt comfortable with him. I owed it to Esme to be there. She was such a kind soul. I couldn't be mean to her.

"Be careful, Bella. You'll be so far away from us. I'm worried about you."

"Thanks, Angela. I'll be okay. You don't have to worry," I said with a comforting smile.

I couldn't worry about Angela worrying about me. I had enough on my plate to think about.

Thankfully they dropped their concerns. I was happy to focus on my plans for Edward. Focusing on Edward kept me preoccupied from everything else.

I was looking at a pair of blue bikinis when I heard my cell phone go off. Lady GaGa's Bad Romance erupted from my purse.

I want your love and I want your revenge.

You and me could write a bad romance

I want your love and all your lover's revenge

You and me could write a bad romance

"Is that Edward?" Jessica said with a giggle.

"Yes," I replied. "Now be quiet! I don't want him to know what I'm up to!" I spoke to Edward for a few minutes. I was my usual perky self, and he was polite as always. He was taking me out for coffee and dessert later on. I felt bad for him, so I allowed him to call the shots for our date tonight. It was the least I could do considering last night.

We spent too much time at the mall, but at the end of the day I was happy with my items. I was also kind of excited to go to California with Edward. I knew I'd meet his other family members. I should probably have been nervous, but I really wasn't. I'd met Esme already, and if his sister and sister-in-law were anything like Esme, then I knew I had everything in the bag.

Maybe I was being a little presumptuous, but after meeting his brother and brother-in-law I didn't think meeting the other two girls would be that bad. I thought I'd made a good impression on his brothers. Well, I was drunk at the end of the night. That was embarrassing, but there was nothing I could about that now. I needed his family to like me. Wait. Did I really need the family's approval? I mean really! I wasn't going to see Edward forever. Ugh. I was over thinking again. No, I didn't need his family to like me. Well, it'd be easier for me if they did, but I didn't need it.

I would have to wing it in California. I was good at winging it. I'd been winging it a lot with Edward, and so far I considered myself pretty successful in my attempts at making him dump me. Okay, so he hadn't gotten very angry with me yet, but yesterday we made progress.

I got ready for my late date with Edward. I was meeting him at the coffee shop. Tonight I would go a little easy on him since I was still feeling bad about last night.

I wore black jeans and my favorite purple coat. I twirled around in front of the mirror. I'd never considered myself drop dead gorgeous, but I was pretty. Edward was so much hotter, but he always made me feel worthy of his admiration. He had a very sweet way of making me feel good. Maybe it was his panty dropping lines. Whatever it was, it worked on me.

I met him at Victrola Coffee and Art on 15th. The place was famous for their community friendly atmosphere. I found Edward quickly and went straight to his spot in the back. He stood up from his chair and gave me a 'hello' kiss.

"Hey, baby! Missed me?" I teased. I took my coat of and draped it over the back of my chair.

"Of course I missed you," he replied. "You look lovely tonight, Bella."

"You flatter me, Edward. I'm not even wearing a lot of makeup."

"You don't have to. You're naturally beautiful."

Aww.

"Thank you, Edward."

I could've kept up my teasing, but Edward was so sure of himself. He truly believed I was beautiful. In the beginning I thought Edward was trying hard to impress me by being flirty and charming. After a week I'd come to the conclusion that he wasn't even trying. Not really. He was just naturally that way with me. He wasn't putting on an act.

Edward pushed a cup in front of me. "I hope you don't mind. I took the liberty of ordering you a cappuccino."

Ahh coffee. I had a secret addiction to caffeine. It didn't matter how I took my coffee. I'd drink it any way I could get it.

I smiled sheepishly at the cup.

"What?" he asked reading my expression.

"I love coffee," I said bashfully.

"Coffee in general? Or cappuccino?"

"Coffee in general."

"Nothing wrong with that. Does the caffeine keep you up?"

"Not all the time. Although it helps a lot in the morning," I said, picking up the cup. I took a sip and sighed contentedly.

"You like it?"

"Mmmhhmm," I replied happily. "It's so yummy."

Edward watched me as I drank my cappuccino. I was being rude by ignoring him, but the coffee was so good! When I finally set the cup down, I noticed Edward brought some games with him.

"Is that Scrabble? I asked peering at his black backpack. There must have been a couple more games in there.

Edward laughed, "Maybe."

"You brought board games? How cute is this? Coffee and games? That's very original of you, Edward."

"I thought you'd like to exercise your spelling abilities. You're a writer after all. Scrabble should be easy for you."

"Is that a challenge, Edward?"

"Take it however you'd like, Bella."

"Oh, you're on! I was the third grade spelling bee champion in my class. You're going down, Cullen."

"I'm so scared," he said dramatically waving his hands.

He set up the board and handed me my pencil and score pad.

I fibbed. I wasn't the champion in my third grade class. I placed second, but Edward didn't have to know that.

It was fun smack talking with Edward. I laughed a lot, and surprisingly he was an excellent speller. Geez. Was there anything he couldn't do? He was handsome, charming, kind, and a Scrabble champion?

"I win," he said smirking.

"Pssh. That's because I let you win, baby."

"Yeah, right," he muttered. "You want another coffee?"

"Yes, please. A latte' this time, and can I get a cookie or a muffin?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

While Edward went to get my sweets, I decided to apologize to him about last night. I'd tired putting the events of last night behind me, but I just couldn't. I needed to know Edward was okay. It was one thing seeing him function normally, and it was another thing to actually hear from him that he was okay. I needed him to tell me he was okay.

Edward came back with my latte' and muffin. I thanked him and reached for his hand.

He laced his fingers with mine and squeezed.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? Are you feeling okay? I know last night was bad for you, and I just want you to know that I am so, so sorry! I never intended for you to get sick! It's been eating at me all day. Are you okay, baby? Please tell me you're okay!"

"Bella," he said gently. "I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you."

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty mad at me. I'd be mad at me!"

"Will you stop? I'm not mad, and you shouldn't be either."

"Okay…"

"Are you excited about California?" he asked changing the subject.

"Yes, I am. I'm very excited to meet your family."

"My brother and brother-in-law already like you. I'm sure my sister and sister-in-law will too."

"Can you tell me anything about them?"

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything you'd like to share with me."

Edward described his sister to me. She was pregnant and she loved ballet and fixing cars. His sister-in-law was a force to be reckoned with. He summed her up as a 'hyper pixie stick.'

I asked how busy he was going to be. This was a business trip for Edward and Esme, but they let the whole family tag along. Edward said he'd be completely free tomorrow, but that the following two days would keep him preoccupied.

"Don't worry," he said. "If you're not with me, you'll be with Rose or Alice. They're looking forward to spending time with you."

"They are?"

"Yes, they are. They both know I'm seeing you, and they're very interested in meeting you."

"I'm already mommy approved," I said teasingly. "Now I have to pass the sister and sister-in-law inspection?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Bring it on," I sang. "I'm sure we'll all get along swimmingly."

"I'm almost afraid of that you will."

"Why?"

"If Rose and Alice like you, then they'll beg me to marry you," he said flashing me a devilish smile. For a moment I wasn't sure if he was joking or if he was serious.

I decided to play along. "Well, I suppose it would help if I got along with my future in-laws, but I don't need their approval."

"And why not?"

"Because the only person I'm going to marry is you. I'm not marrying your family, I'm marrying you."

What a lie, I thought. I really was one of those people who believed that when you marry someone you also marry their family, but I wasn't going to marry Edward!

"Bella, my family is important to me. I'd really like it if you get along with them. I'd hate for my sister to dislike you."

Oh holy shit. He sounded serious.

He couldn't possibly be thinking about going long term with me! I was just playing! I was acting! I didn't mean any of this.

"Bella, breathe," he said lightly. "Sweetheart, calm down. I'm just playing with you. Of course my family will love you."

Oh wrong move, Cullen. That's it. I'm totally going to get you back for that.

A/N: Okay, so this chapter was a little transitional. I needed to slow things down. Too much crazy too soon, isn't good! Or maybe it is... IDK.

Next chapter they'll be on their way to California. What do you think Bella has up her sleeve?

I couldn't wreck the Volvo. That would really upset Edward... since I'm Team Edward I couldn't do that. :)

Till next time.

Tina