I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyers does.

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"Change me." She demanded. Peter studied her so long that Bella wondered if he would refuse her. If he did she would get Carlisle or one of the Cullens, if they refused she would find the Denali's. She wasn't going to give up.

Finally Peter nodded. "We will wait for your father. We are going to need all the help we can get."

Chapter 11

Bella stared out the window looking up at the stars in the sky. Her father and Peter talked in the front seat as they drove towards the ranch, Peter had told her about, in Texas. They talked and made plans but Bella really didn't listen.

She watched the stars and wondered what Jasper was doing. Did he really think that she wanted Edward? Was he fighting now? Training? Was he thinking of her? She wanted to call him but wasn't sure how to do that or even if she could face hearing his voice over the phone.

She was determined to get him out of there, she would do everything she could but the guilt she felt, the soul crushing loss was almost overwhelming. She knew that if she didn't have a plan to rescue him she would be more lost than she had been when Edward abandoned her.

Bella heard her father talking about a rescue mission.

"He won't leave. He gave his word. The only way to get him out is to take down the Volturi." She said her voice empty but firm.

Peter looked back at her through the rear view window. His eyebrow was raised but after a moment he offered his agreement. "She is right. The only reason he finally left Maria was because she let him loose from his vow to her."

"Why would Maria let him loose?" Charlie asked.

Peter gave him a humorless smirk. "Char and I convinced her it was in her best interest."

"Are you sure we should have let Edward go?" Bella asked changing the subject. She hated that Jasper had went through that hell with Maria. She hated more that he was now forced back into a similar situation.

She didn't like letting Edward live. Realistically Alice was more to blame than him but Bella couldn't help but blame Edward. She blamed herself the most but next in line was Edward. She had wanted to burn him. She had even struck a match before Peter stopped her.

"Yes we will need all the help we can get. I am hoping the Cullen's and Denali's will help us. There is no way they would if we killed Edward." Peter answered.

Bella frowned but didn't dispute his reasoning. Edward was always a favored son.

"So what is the plan? How can we hope to take down the Volturi? Are you going to try to sneak in and 'convince' Aro to let him out of his vow? The man seemed pretty paranoid from what Jasper said and it would seem an impossible task." Charlie said.

"I agree, going at the Volturi with as big of a force as we can muster isn't a good option either. Jasper will have to fight against us and I really don't want him to have to." Peter told them. Everyone was silent for a few minutes as they thought it over.

"Plus he's a damn genius in battle. It is unlikely we would win." Peter muttered.

"I will distract him, while the rest of you take down the Volturi." Bella muttered.

"He has never been defeated, how would you propose to distract him? Even with new born strength you wouldn't be a match for him. While he wouldn't kill you, he could definitely incapacitate you." Peter said sarcastically. Bella didn't look at him, his anger toward her was almost palatable. She deserved it so she didn't often try to defend herself but this time she knew she was right.

"You're right he won't kill me...from what I understand about mates he will be unable to, maybe that will make him go easier on me too. You will train me Peter. He trained you, you should be able to give me tips that can make this work. With your training and his unwillingness to hurt me I should be up to the task." Bella told them.

Peter said nothing as he tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "If we don't tell him that you are being changed then we can add the element of surprise." He murmured deep in thought.

"I don't want to keep things from him anymore." Bella said folding her arms across her chest. She had kept too many things from him. She desperately wanted to talk to him...to hear his voice...tell him she had stayed true to him and didn't go with Edward.

Peter growled. "You have kept too much from him." He thought some more, his fingers tapping on the wheel.

"No, we need not only to surprise him but Aro too. If Jasper knows you have changed then Aro will know. I don't doubt for a minute that paranoid bastard will read his mind regularly. What would we tell him? What reason could we give for you changing? Would we tell him that you changed for Edward? I don't want to hurt Jasper like that. If he knows I changed you he is going to figure out we are up to something. Anything he knows Aro will know." Peter finally said.

"How long will it take us to get ready?" Bella asked. She didn't let it show in her voice but she was near panicking. She desperately wanted to talk to Jasper and Peter was suggesting she might not be able to for a long time.

"It takes a year for a new-born to be able to control their blood lust. I am hoping that with your motivation you two will be ready sooner. At the longest a year at the shortest 6 months and we will have to train day and night. Plus gather every dissatisfied vampire we can find." Peter told her.

Bella's head fell back against the seat...six months...

"She needs to be able to talk to him. He won't be able to last that long without contact with her." Charlie said.

Bella blinked but said nothing. Silently she thanked her father.

Peter nodded. "You can call him when we arrive on the ranch but after that I want you to only correspond in letters and be careful what you tell him. He would be able to tell that you were changed if you talked to him."

"Thank you." Bella whispered then laid her head back and closed her eyes.

"Wake up Bells." Charlie said shaking her shoulder.

Bella opened her tired eyes. She wanted desperately to go back into that dark oblivion, where dreams of her time with Jasper soothed her, but she fought down her selfish desire and got out of the car.

She took in her surroundings. It looked like a typical ranch, minus the livestock. She could tell by the dirt road and the lack of lights that they were far from civilization. She stretched her muscles before following her father toward the house.

Char and Garrett stood on the porch watching them approach. When they walked up the stairs, Char turned to Charlie and held out her hand. "Welcome Charlie, thank you for supporting us to help free Jasper. We don't have human food but you won't need it soon. Come in and I will explain what is going to happen." Char said taking Charlie's hand.

Bella stared after her, she hadn't even looked at her. Garrett came up to her and took her hand.

"They will forgive you if we get Jasper back. You have to understand he is like a brother to them. He is their maker, their savior, and friend. They don't like the hurt you have caused him." Garrett told her.

"What about you?" Bella asked.

"I am angry too but I know that Jasper loves you and needs you more than ever. I'm going to make sure that this time you are there for him." Garrett told her.

Bella nodded accepting his declaration and taking comfort in it. "I have been a fool, I don't ever want to hurt him like that again. I would welcome a sensible head to tell me if I am making any more dangerous or hurtful mistakes. He deserves more than that." Bella told him hoping that he would do just that.

"Alright that is what I will do." Garrett told her after staring into her eyes for a good five minutes. Bella wanted to sag with relief. Garrett knew enough about Jasper and vampires to keep her from more stupidness.

"I was told to get Jasper on the phone for you and stay to listen and make sure you didn't let anything slip or say anything to hurt Jasper more." Garrett told her as he picked up the phone and began to dial.

Bella started to prepare what she would say to him as she watched Garrett talk to someone on the phone.

"It appears he is already on a mission." Garrett told her as he hung up the phone.

Bella almost started crying in frustration.

"We should go wish your father well. Peter is about to change him. Then you have time to write a letter before he changes you." Garrett said breaking her out of her despair.

She nodded and squared her shoulders as she followed him out of the room.

"Dad..." Bella said as she rushed to his arms. "You know you don't have to do this..." Bella told him. She wanted him to change with her, she also knew they would need all the help they could get, but she had been selfish for too long and she wanted him happy.

"Bells, I promised him I would get him out of there and I intend to keep my promise." He told her patting her back and gently pushing her back. He laid down on the bed and nodded to Peter.

Peter bit his wrist pumping venom into his blood. A gasp was all they heard from Charlie. Bella remembered the burn of venom and marveled at her father. He gave her courage to face what was to come.

She let Garrett lead her to her own room. She sat on the bed and wrote a letter to Jasper. She wished more than anything that he was here. That Jasper was the one going to change her, but that wasn't possible now. She wouldn't sit on the sidelines and wait for the others to rescue him. She needed to help...to show him how much he meant to her.

She handed the letter to Garrett. "Read it please?" She asked. She didn't trust herself to use the right words and she wanted to be sure she didn't give anything away.

Garrett read then put the letter into an envelope. "It is good." He told her. Bella nodded, she didn't think she could smile...maybe not till she had Jasper back. She laid back on the bed and waited for Peter.

Peter entered the room, his face grim. Bella wished for the happy Peter she had met but knew that wasn't going to be till Jasper was safe. Char didn't even come into the room.

"Are you ready?" Peter asked.

"Yes." Bella whispered.

Peter hesitated. "I know you wanted this to be Jasper...I know he wanted it too. If it makes it any better he is the one that changed me so you will still have his venom in your veins."

Bella turned to look at him a little surprised at his words, but his face was still set in stone and she knew she was not in any way forgiven. She turned toward the ceiling and closed her eyes. She felt his teeth sink into her wrist, felt the venom burn along her arm as it raced into her blood stream. The pain was almost unbearable and she wanted to scream but refused to. She was Jasper Whitlock's mate and this right here is where she began to show it.

Jasper entered the room that Aro had supplied for him. He supposed it was one of the better rooms but he really didn't care. He stripped off his venom soaked clothes. He smelled of ash and venom. A scent he was tired of smelling.

He entered the shower, not caring that the water was freezing. He scrubbed and scrubbed at his skin but the scent seemed to linger. He had added some new scars. He fingered them and wondered if it even mattered. The black depression that had plagued him before Alice was seeping back in.

The assignment in China had been easy enough. He had completed it quickly but killing the immortal child had been difficult. Jasper had felt the child's terror as he watched his coven killed. Felt his hope and resignation as Jasper tore off his head. He had tried to make it quick and painless as possible but it was never quick enough...never painless enough. The child's cries still echoed in his ears.

He tried to combat the despair with thoughts of Bella, it wasn't helping though. Charlie told him that Bella didn't love Edward, he insisted she loved him. Jasper had believed him but the fight...the death...his ruthlessness made him feel unworthy...made him doubt.

"She's safe. You're doing this for her. You have to hold it together. If you lose it...if you're not a benefit to the Volturi, they will take her. Change her and force her into this life. You know you can't let that happen." Jasper told himself.

Jasper got out of the shower and dried off. He still felt the blackness in his soul but remembering the reasons he was here helped. A knock on the door surprised him. He was slipping he should have sensed someone there. Marcus...

He wrapped a towel around his waist and walked to the door. He opened it and ushered the man in. Marcus held a letter in his hand. Marcus stood for a moment just looking at him. Jasper knew he wanted something from him but didn't have a clue what it was. He felt a strong desire and a deep grief in him.

"I wish to make a deal." Marcus began.

Jasper said nothing waiting for him to continue.

"I have a letter here from your Isabella. I knew she would write or call. I waited for anything from her so I could intercept it and give it to you. Aro would only take such correspondence to keep you from leaving. I know you will keep your word though." Marcus said with a smile.

Jasper was unsure what he was getting at but the thought that Bella wrote him caused a ray of hope in him. "How did you know this?" Jasper asked. He himself had not thought she would contact him. In the time he knew her she was not very open with him. He had to initiate their contact.

"Her bond with you was strong." Marcus said his smile firmly in place.

Again that hope jumped but he tapped it down. "I marked her." He told him.

"Yes your bond to her was stronger but her bond to you was very strong for a human. " Marcus replied.

Again that pesky hope bubbled up. It wouldn't do to get his hopes up before he read her letter. She may be telling him that she had decided to go back with Edward. If she let him replace his claim he would die...and he would be glad for death.

"What do you want?" Jasper asked.

"Aro keeps me loyal through Chelsea's false bonds. This keeps me here but does not help with my endless misery. I want you to give me a little happiness. In return I will keep these letters from Aro and give them to you." Marcus said.

"Won't Aro see all this once he reads either one of us?" Jasper asked.

"Undoubtedly but I am hoping he will allow it. I know he didn't value my Didyme's gift of bringing happiness but surely with your military prowess he won't begrudge me this. Plus I intend to help you expand your gift. I worked often with Didyme and believe I can be of benefit. I can help you strengthen your gift and learn to use it in ways you never thought of. Aro will be happy with that." Marcus said.

Jasper wasn't so sure but he wanted that letter. He nodded and sent Marcus some contentment. It was hard, always harder to send emotions he had trouble feeling but he could do it. A smile crossed Marcus's face and he leaned back enjoying it.

Finally Marcus handed him the letter and patted him on the back before leaving his room. Jasper stared at the letter for a couple of moments, a little afraid of what it contained. With a deep unneeded breath he opened it.

Jasper,

I don't know where or how to begin. There is so much I want to tell you. So much I should have told you.

First you should know that I don't love Edward and I am not with him. I now see what a fool I was to ever have loved him, but I was in awe of him and couldn't believe that someone who looked like him could want someone like me. You were more beautiful but my friendship with Alice kept you out of my thoughts.

I am sorry I didn't tell you what was happening before I took off with Alice, it was a mistake that I sincerely regret. I never told you how I felt. I never told you how your grin made me want to jump on you and kiss you. How I got angry because I felt like that. I'm sure you knew, with your vampire senses and all but I should have told you how my heart beat harder when I saw you. How easy I found it to talk to you, to tell you things I never told anyone before.

You gave me so much. You listened to me, comforted me, loved me. I took selfishly without giving anything back. I was afraid. I knew that if I fell in love with you it would be so much harder when you left that when Edward did. I told myself I had to be loyal to Edward. I threw him in your face constantly. I am deeply ashamed and sorry for my actions. My stupidity and fear have led us to this. Now after all those chances. Chances to tell you how I felt that I ignored, this is the only chance I have left.

I love you Jasper Whitlock, with all my heart. I love you more than I ever loved Edward, more than I love my life, more than I even love my family. Only the hope of being able to see you again keeps me from despair. You have my heart and my soul.

Till we are together again love,

Bella

Jasper read the letter again. She loved him...she hadn't returned to Edward...she had hope they would see each other again. He brought the letter to his right chest pocket, he was going to keep it with him. He would read it when he felt the darkness consuming him. She was his light still...his hope.

A knock sounded on the door. "Come in Jane." He said.

The door opened but Jane didn't come in. "Aro wants you to meet with him and go over some training plans. He wants you to train the guard on dealing with newborns." She said and abruptly turned away.

Jasper smiled. He wasn't happy, he wouldn't be till he was with Bella again but he felt hope where he once had none.