A/N : So this chapter is a little (a lot) emotional, but I still hope you will like it! Also, I,m sorry for the long wait, you are angels for waiting for me! There is a lot still planned for this story, and I hope you'll stick around for more! PLUS there's a little surprise for all the Jessley shippers ;)
It's weird how someone can abruptly barge into your life and if it had been any other person, you would've pushed them away as quickly as they had come rushing into you, but simply because it's that person, you open your arms and welcome them warmly, like they're running home and they're not a stranger. It's like you've known each other forever even though it's been a month since you first said hello. It's like that person is an extension of yourself rather than another human being even though you've never held their hand before a month ago.
It felt weird for Beca to lie down at bedtime and not feel alone anymore. Mostly it was because Chloe usually crept up in her bed right after the lights were shut and everything was quiet, but also partly because she wasn't lonely like before. Chloe was always ready to listen to her, and after she had told her about her dad, the redhead hadn't pushed her and things went back to being easy. Beca had feared they would get tangled and fall out because summer was supposed to be fun and light, not heavy and dark because of her issues.
"What are you thinking about?"
Chloe's quiet voice brought Beca back to the reality, their reality, and she smiled in the crook of the redhead's neck, tightening her arms around her waist.
"How this feels so unreal. How you feel so unreal. How this is the most perfect moment of my life." Beca replied softly, her breath tickling Chloe's skin.
The redhead knew she was supposed to smile back, but instead, her smile froze at the corner of her lips, just as she was about to answer back. She felt her heart tighten at one simple but ugly truth. Tears stung behind her closed eyelids and she reaffirm her grip onto Beca's hips, pulling her closer to her body.
"I love you."
Three little words, barely spoken, merely a whisper, that sent Beca's world spinning behind her closed eyes in an instant. She stiffened in Chloe's arms, and the ginger wished she hadn't said those words. Beca heard her girlfriend's ― because that's what they were, weren't they? ― heartbeat jump to the roof, and she slowly placed a hand over it, her eyes still firmly pressed shut, and she took a deep breath.
"I love you too."
There, she had said it back. Her tongue was thick in her mouth, her heart was stomping in her chest, but the fluttering of Chloe's heart made her smile as she knew she had done it right. For once, you did the right thing, she thought to herself as she tasted the salt in Chloe's tears of relief, kissing them away.
Falling asleep proved harder than she had gotten used to for Beca that night. She lied in bed, Chloe's arm safely wrapped around her, and even the ginger's steady and calm heartbeat wouldn't bring sleep to her tired mind and body. Today had been Chloe's favorite day of the week because they had to wake up an hour before everybody to go take care of the horses, then they had to go on with their day like they weren't already exhausted (Beca was, but Chloe seemed to be even more energetic after breakfast). Today had been Beca's least favorite day of the week, not because of the horses, but simply because of the exhaustion it brought to her when lunch came and all she wanted to do was take a nap until dinner.
So why couldn't she fall asleep now that she had the chance to?
Because she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Did she say she loved her? Did she say it back because she felt like Chloe was about to break down? Did she really meant those words, or did they just escaped her lips before she could really think about them? Questions racked her mind, keeping sleep far away as dark circles slowly stained the skin under her eyes. The only thing she wanted to do was call Henry because she knew he'd have the answers she was looking for.
When the dormitory slowly started to be less dark, Beca sighed; morning was coming and she still hadn't been able to sleep for more than fifteen minutes at a time. A smiling Chloe hummed a good morning in her tangled hair a few moments later, and Beca decided she wasn't going to tell her she had had a maximum of one hour of sleep throughout the night. She faked a yawn and rolled over so she could stir, but Chloe had other plans in mind. Snaking her arms around Beca's waist once again, she snuggled close, her nose tickling in the brunette's neck, making her squirm.
"Chloe, I'm trying to stir here, I'm a little bit sore from staying in the same position all night." Beca pleaded, but the redhead only shook her head, tickling her even more.
A giggle escaped her lips and Chloe's head shot up, surprised by the sound.
"What?" Beca puffed out, trying to escaped Chloe's deathly grip when she saw her smirk wide.
"You. Are. The. Most. Adorable. Person. Ever." Chloe detached each word, planting a peck on her lips with every one she said, smiling so brightly Beca was almost blinded.
"Am not." She retorted, wiggling her way out of the redhead's embrace.
Chloe rolled her eyes, letting go of her waist so she could stretch her arms and legs out, feeling her muscles resist. Her shoulders made a popping sound when she rolled them backwards, making Beca wince in disgust. Slowly but surely, they awoke completely, and Aubrey soon walked in with Jessica, both of them smiling like something great had just happened.
"Why are you smiling so hard before breakfast?" Beca ask warily, climbing down her bed.
"Oh my God!" Chloe piped up, knowing all too well that look on her best friend's face. "You have something big to announce. Shoot!"
She pushed past Beca, making the brunette lose her balance momentarily, and she grabbed Aubrey by the hands, eyes almost popping out when the blonde finally said what she had to say.
"We can name him!" Her voice was so high-pitched with excitement it made Beca flinch.
"Are you serious?!" Chloe's voice was so close to Aubrey's, Beca put her hands over her ears, trying to muffle their overly excited shrieks.
"Since it's our last summer here, and we're in charge of taking care of him, they agreed to let us name him! It has to be a short and sweet name, though, nothing too fancy." Jessica explained with a smile so big Beca was sure it would break her cheeks.
"I'm sure you'll find something cute. Now come on, can we got eat before my stomach eats itself?" Beca interrupted with an almost-pleading smile.
"We will find something cute, of course!" Chloe retorted, linking their arms and exiting the dorm.
Beca wasn't too certain she'd be of any help in naming the foal, but the lack of sleep and the feeling of Chloe's hands resting on her arm was enough to make her nod simply and walk in silence to the cafeteria.
Breakfast was like heaven in Beca's gurgling stomach, and when she seemed a little off, like she wasn't totally herself today, Chloe put it on her hunger and continued to talk with Aubrey and Jessica while holding Beca's hand under the table. When she still only flashed a half smile to Chloe whenever she looked at her, the redhead put that on her confusion over their non-stop babbling about horse names. When she caught her gaze going out of focus for the third time in five minutes, Chloe put it on her short attention span (Beca had, actually, told her she couldn't focus for long on something unless it was her music).
"Chloe, I think I'm going to skip this morning's riding lesson, okay?" Beca suddenly said as they were heading towards the stables.
"But we have to clean the mare's box and then we were going to ride in the forest!" Aubrey protested, althought Beca's gaze was fixed on the ground and she couldn't see the look of disappointment in her friend's face.
"Yeah, Beca, we got the green light for riding in the forest because we're the best riders and we've been coming here since we were five. We know the horses better than some of the monitors here. That's a unique privilege we've got, why would you want to miss it?" Chloe asked, hurt apparent in her even tone.
"I just, I'm not feeling too well, okay? Can I just meet up with you after your ride in the forest? Please?" Beca wasn't one to beg, but she could feel her body aching for sleep while her mind was completely out of function.
"You don't look really good, Beca, do you want for one of us to come with you to the nurse station?" Jessica asked, worry painted all over her soft features.
"No, no, I'll be alright, I think it's just some discomfort, nothing that a few moments of tranquility won't make it go away." She tried to smile convincingly, but the corners on her mouth faltered shortly after.
They nodded, and watched as she turned around and started to walk back to their dorm. Aubrey put a hand on Chloe's arm when she made a move to go after her. Tears were building at the corners of her best friend's and the blonde gulped down the lump forming in her throat.
"She just needs some time alone, Chloe, it's alright. We'll ride and you can talk to her when we come back. Okay?" Aubrey pulled the redhead in a tight hug while Jessica rubbed slow circles on her back.
"I think I scared her away." She admitted after a few moments.
They had resumed walking towards the stables, Jessica on her left while Aubrey was on her right side. Chloe stopped in her track, tears already blurring her vision.
"Why would you say that?" Jessica asked in a soft tone.
They had known Jessica since they were ten, but never really had spoken because usually Chloe would be paired up with Aubrey and Jess would be with Ashley, but this summer, Ashley couldn't make it, and instead she had been paired up with Aubrey. Over the last few weeks, they had became a close knitted group of friends, and Jessica didn't feel like a new comer anymore, even though she missed her old friend Ashley, she was getting along pretty well with Aubrey, being the first one since Chloe to put up with her bossiness and her need to be in control.
Chloe smiled sadly and looked at her shoes before speaking up, her voice shaky with emotion and tears slowly rolling down her flushed cheeks.
"I told her I love her."
The two girls gasped in surprise; surely they didn't expect such a revelation. After the initial shock, Aubrey was the first to wrap her arms around Chloe's sobbing shoulders, stroking her hair slowly to soothe her. Jessica was fidgeting with her hands, internally debating whether or not she should speak up. She decided she should, because Chloe needed support more than anything right now, and she thought that maybe this would help her.
"Chloe, have I ever told you about the first time I fell in love?" She said, a smile slowly curling her lips up.
The redhead was a bit confused, but she shook her head nonetheless, frowning. Aubrey was about to say something, but Jessica looked at her with an almost pleading look on her face, and the blonde shut her mouth tightly.
"I fell in love for the first time here, in this summer camp." She started, and Chloe's curiosity kicked away her worries immediately. "I was fifteen I think. It was my fifth summer here, and my fourth year being paired-up with Ashley. I think you can see where this is going, but anyways. Yeah, I fell in love with her, and at first she didn't even reciprocate my feelings. I was afraid it would break our friendship apart. She was the only one here during my first summer who saw through my happy and jolly smile. She was the one who came to talk to me when I was so nervous about my first activity even though we weren't even paired up. I have anxiety, it might not show all the time, but I do. I get super anxious for nothing, and Ashley saw that. She would always calm me down during activities because I would get worked up for nothing. At first, like I said, she told me she didn't love me back. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I was so hurt. She said that she had never been in love with someone, so she couldn't possibly know if what she felt for me was love. I was sure of it, I don't know why, i can't really explain it, but I was certain I was in love with her."
Jessica stopped for a moment, frowning but still smiling, and she looked directly at Chloe when she opened her mouth again.
"A few days later, she climbed in my bed while i was asleep and she woke me up with tears in her eyes and a smile so wide I was blinded. She said 'Jess, I'm sorry I couldn't say it back, I'm still not sure I can, but I want to take a chance on you, if that's okay'. I nodded, and she kissed me."
She stopped talking for a moment, grinning as the memories of that night came charging back.
"Are you still together?" Aubrey asked, a smile curling up one corner of her mouth.
"We are, and do you know why I wanted to tell you this story, Chloe?" She said, squeezing the redhead's arm softly as they entered the stables. "Because I think Beca loves you too, but she doesn't know if she's ready to do so. She's afraid, Chloe. She's fifteen, you're almost eighteen and she's probably in love for the first time too."
"But she said it back…" Chloe said, feeling Jessica's word sank in slowly but still not quite convinced.
"Not everybody is comfortable saying they can't say it back because they're unsure, Chloe. I'm sure she'll come around, give her a little time. There's no doubt it's more than a crush between the two of you." The shorter blonde said, giving Chloe a reassuring smile.