So sorry for this being so late, folks.

Thank you to Mischakitsune for beta-reading this, and once again, thanks to all of the readers who stay with this, through internet failure and writer's block.

Wizard116- As evidenced the quote: "It's funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious!"

Fireblade K'Chona- A moth, indeed.

Mischakitsune- This is quick?

Oceanmate- Wet noodles are yummy with marinara sauce :-P

Justwitchy- /nodnod/

Notes: This may be getting way too outré, but whatever. E-Mail me if you've got problems with it, advice, or have noticed something that is not adhering to canon rules.

Just so y'all know, the multiple equal signs will now serve as (hopefully) permanent scene-switch indicators.

Chapter 11: A Mother's Advice.

Gods- what was wrong with Rowen? He'd come back to camp, dragging a frightened young boy behind him- but Rowen was injured. From what Julian had been able to make out, there had been monsters attacking Nadar, but Rowen had killed them all. That explained the blood-scent in the air when he'd come back. He'd bathed soon after, then returned again, but hadn't talked to Julian. The blood-removal had uncovered a new scent in the air- a sickly-sweet smell that smelled of rotten apples and too ripe fruit- Julian had noticed it, but no one else had, so he'd decided not to mention it.

Then a few minutes later Lisha had yelled to pack up camp immediately- that Rowen had been poisoned. They'd all pitched in- even Nadar- and thrown everything together, all the while watched by a bemused Rowen, who laughed with a horrible sound that sent chills down Julian's spine. The laughing was hysterical, and only stopped whenever the Changechild paused to gasp for air. Then he would go off again, in another round of madness-induced hysteria.

They had packed up the camp within a matter of minutes and waited anxiously for Karal's Firecat to come back. Julian had sat by the baggage and tried to sense Rowen's emotional state- perhaps try to reach him and extend some comfort, but Rowen…. he had no longer been there. Not like an unconscious person, but like a doll. The lights were flickering… but no one was home. This had caused Julian to go into a state of panic, and he'd very nearly overextended himself trying to find the Changechild's soul in the little time they had left.

Altra had popped into the middle of the now empty camp and announced to all present that there were Healers waiting back home. The Cat had Jumped the now unconscious Rowen first, he being the one most in need of aid, followed by an anxious Sa'heera with the supplies, and finally Julian with the horses. Nadar was staying behind with Lisha and Inyam so he could lead them to the bodies of the Changebeasts and fetch one, and then Altra would come and Jump them and one of the bodies back, for examination and to perhaps concoct an antidote for the poison.

When Julian had reached Haven, a servant had been waiting to take the horses, and Altra had gone trotting off down the hallway back to whatever it was that he'd been doing before Lisha had called, but not before telling Julian that Rowen had already been borne off to Healer's on a litter, and Sa'heera had gone with them. He'd turned those sparkling blue eyes onto a face that could never see them, and spoken once more.

:You should rest, Bard. It would not do for you to fall sick as well. Your friends will need you more than you could guess. Get some willowbark tea, too. You overused your Gift in searching for the boy. Go back to the Vale. Someone will come for you soon.: And with that, he'd left, and Julian had fallen into a daze, blindly wandering the corridors until a servant spotted him and asked him if he needed assistance. When he asked her to bring him to the Vale, she had brought him to the entrance to Companion's Field and left him there. He traversed the grassy length alone, with feet that felt like stone and a heart that felt like solid iron. He slumped through the door, dropping the pack he just remembered he was carrying, and found his way to the edge of the hot pool, merely sitting at the edge, trailing his fingers through the water, trying in vain to find some hint of Rowen. That was where the Queen's Own found him, some time later.

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"Julian?"

He didn't move, but raised a hand in, and vocalized his greeting all the same.

"Queen's Own."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Julian. There is a good chance that Rowen may die."

His voice was hollow. "I know."

"Do you want to see him?" she asked gently.

"No. He's not there."

Talia frowned. "What do you mean, he's not there?"

"It's like-" she could sense him groping for the words. "An Empath can sense the emotional state of a person, as well as their physical state. You can, and even though my Gift is small, if I know someone, I have a tie to them- I can sense them if they're within a reasonable physical distance. But Rowen... I've been able to sense him since the first time I met him. Now I can't, and he's just not there. And I've tried, ever since I got back. I can't find him anywhere!" He knew he sounded hysterical, but he didn't care.

"Julian, calm down." The reassuring voice of Talia broke into his frenzied thoughts, and slowed them. "If his soul isn't there, it should come back eventually. Some of the Mages from Outkingdom do that to themselves- they go into a heavy trance, and send their souls out from their bodies, to Elsewhere. Then- when they've done what they needed or wanted to do, they come back, and they're fine." Her face took on a speculative look. "Perhaps he's gone… I'll ask An'desha- he would know."

"Know what, Lady?"

"If Rowen's gone to the Moonpaths."

"Moonpaths?"

"But Talia would say no more on the subject.

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Rowen drifted in darkness so deep it felt like he was in the deepest dungeon of the lowest-dwelling creature on Velgarth. The inky darkness pressed in on him, pressing- pressing all memory, thought, and sense of self from him. The small part that was left screamed-

And he found himself on a path of shimmering silver sand, with opalescent mist surrounding him. The mist gently drifted around him, and he felt the sand shift between his boots as he cautiously took a step forward- wait. Boots? He looked down, not daring to breathe, and he saw himself as he once was- human.

-No, My child. You always were human. You have been, and you still are.-

A woman appeared on the path in front of him, and Rowen felt himself kneeling in a gesture of obeisance that could not convey his sense of humility.

-Does it feel better to hear those words from My mouth?- the Goddess asked. Not Kal'enel, the Warrior of the Sworn, but ­­the Mother. Her eyes were as the night sky over the Plains- black and speckled with stars, and they were creased in a slight smile.

"-but I thought-"

-That you were not of the People anymore?- She frowned. -Rowen shena Tale'sedrin, how could you think that? What happened to you was unexpected, yes, and unfortunate, but you never stopped being human. You had the opportunity to go mad many times, and turn into a mindless animal, intent only on satisfying your own desires, yet you did not. You were never banned from the Plains; you banned yourself, fearing rejection and your new appearance, and shunned all human contact. It took someone who was blind to the visual world to show you that you were still human. It is amazing what a simple gesture of truth can do,- She mused, face smoothing into a neutral expression.

Affection?

-When you return to your body, it will still be Changed, My child. However-- She paused, and Her face took on a significant look. -There exists, in the heart of Valdemar, aside from your te'sorthene, and the affection of all that know you, an unrecognized and unvoiced yet powerful love which may yet help you forestall the darkness moving to envelope Valdemar and all of her allies, and more. This enemy will become known to you soon enough.-

"But when will I know?" he cried, feeling incredibly lost.

-You will know,- She said. -The enemy comes soon; be ready. But do not willfully ignore love unlooked for, for in the end, it will be that love which will give you something to live for.-

Then She and the mist and sand all vanished from his sight as his spirit left the Moonpaths, and he felt himself falling down, then in-

Rowen awoke to pain in his head and the horse back, and burning sensations tingling along every inch of skin, both horse and human. He gasped and jerked, sending his back into an agonizing spasm. Pain twisted his face, and a gentle hand laid itself on his forehead. He sensed two more hovering over his back, and together the three muted the pain into a dull, aching sensation instead of the sharp twisting that had assailed his back a few moments ago. The hand on his forehead was soothing and felt cool to his fevered skin.

He opened his eyes, and as he fully realized that he was back in his own body, he clenched them shut, the knowledge that he was back in the warped body that had been twisted beyond almost all recognition by wild magic sending a dagger of sorrow that drew a line for a single tear to escape from one tightly closed eye.

The Healer in front of him must have thought that it was a tear of pain, for the dull throbbing increased for a moment, then slowly faded as the Healers poured more energy into him, healing the cells and speeding regeneration.

All of the poison that had infiltrated his body was gone now, leaving him feeling weak, but better than he had been, with no headache or stomachache, and no sudden urges to lose the contents of his stomach.

It was a relief, but- thought hit him, and his mind was filled with questions. Where was Julian? And Sa'heera, Nadar? What of them? What about Lisha and Inyam?

He opened his eyes again to see the backs of the Healers leaving the room, and the relieved face of Sa'heera staring at him. 'Well, that answers that question.' But what of the others?

"Rowen?" She looked like she was going to cry at any moment. "How are you feeling?" she asked in Shin'a'in

He grunted. "Better than I was." At least he wasn't having any problems speaking his own tongue. "How long have I been out?"

"Two days. You were thrashing around so much that the Healers had to sedate you, and there was a big argument on that since they didn't know anything about your body chemistry, and-" She leaned forward and hugged him gently over the round bulk of her belly. "Oh, Rowen. I was so scared that we'd lose you." She shuddered, and Rowen wondered just how close he'd come to embracing the Star-Eyed.

"Lisha and Nadar got back a while ago, with one of the bodies of the- the things. The Healers were able to get a sample of the poison from its claws, and when Nadar told them exactly what happened to Canan, they knew what to look for. The main problem was how much sedative and medication to give you- your size, and even Healer Miriam didn't know what you would need. In the end, they cleared out as much poison as they could, dosed you with half of the antivenom that they managed to concoct for a human, then the other half enough for a horse. It seems to have worked."

"But what about-" he started in Valdemaran to see if he still had the command of the language.

"Nadar is fine," she said. "So are Lisha and Inyam, and myself." She joined him in the odd, stilted language of the northerners.

"Julian?"

"Ah. He wasn't fine, but he seems to have recovered. When Altra brought him back, one of the servants found him wandering the halls, and brought him back to the Vale."

"Oh."

"He was very worried about you, Rowen."

'If he was so worried, then why isn't he here?' Rowen wondered, a bit selfishly.

"Talia went to see him about six hours after you got back. She said that he wasn't as bad as Karal during the Jarim issue, whatever that means, but she said that it looked like he was suffering from a combination of lack of sleep, no food, and stress. She sent him to bed, but he only slept for about five hours. He's been waiting outside ever since. We've been taking turns watching over you, but he doubled on my shift when I fell asleep, so I sent him out and to get some food. When he comes in, do not exclaim or jump up, since all you'll do is hurt yourself and startle him. I don't think you have the strength to get up, anyway, but don't hurt yourself trying. You're still very weak, as it is. One thing- Julian hasn't slept any since we came back, and he looks like hell, but don't say anything. He doesn't know what he looks like, and nobody wants him more stressed than he already is."

"I know what I look like, Sa'heera," came a voice from the door. Both Shin'a'in glanced at the doorway to see Julian leaning against the frame, cradling a tray of food in his arms. Rowen bit back an expletive- Julian looked like warmed-over death! He had bags under his eyes, and his skin was paler than Rowen had ever seen it, even more so than after the bandit attack. There were slight hollows in his cheeks, and he looked paper thin. He'd looked thin before, but now Rowen was half afraid that if a gust of wind came, the Bard would just up and blow away.

"Ah-" Sa'heera turned pink. "You heard all of it?"

"Just about," Julian's dry voice came from the entrance. "Do you want some food? The Healers said that all you should have is toast and juice, but they always say that, even if you have a broken leg and nothing else."

Rowen's stomach decided to make itself known, and he nearly doubled over as the first hunger pang hit him. "Please."

The other man smiled, and it seemed to light up the room. Rowen watched the contents of the tray and felt himself salivating at the sight of the food on the platter; a loaf of bread, some soup, a small bit of meat, some greens in a bowl, a large pitcher of juice; then he noticed how much food was on the tray. Everything seemed double sized, and it all barely fit on the tray. How had one skinny, stick-like Bard that had neither eaten nor slept in two days managed to carry that big thing into here?

Julian must have Felt Rowen's bewilderment, for he smiled and said, "Such is the power of one who wants to help a friend. And as your people say, never reject aid unlooked for."

Do not willfully ignore love unlooked for. The message from the Star-Eyed echoed in his mind as he realized the odd similarity between the two lines. He gave it a mental shrug and dismissed it for the moment. There were other things on his mind- like the delicious platter of food sitting on the floor next to his pallets.

Between bites, he queried the other two on the current situation.

"So what is Nadar doing now?"

Sa'heera started off. "Well, he wasn't very happy to see Jadrek, but he didn't exactly have a choice in the matter. An'desha is working on getting Nadar to admit that you do exist, that you're alive, and that you still love him, even though Nadar declared you Oathbreaker."

Rowen swallowed and winced. "How is the Oathbreaker situation coming along?"

"An'desha said that Nadar is willing to admit that he was wrong about the you-don't-exist complex, but he still doesn't believe that you're you. In his heart, he wants to believe very badly, but his mind won't accept it. Inside- he's just a lonely little boy that's missed his big brother very much," Julian supplied.

Rowen colored. "Do you think he still considers me his big brother? I never told him that I loved him, I called him 'kid' all the time, and acted patronizing. And he loved me all the same. But-" His voice cracked. "I did love him. Very much. It broke my heart when I decided not to come back, and now I can see what a big mistake that was." He refused to look at his companions, fearing the accusing stares that were sure to be in their eyes. A light touch on his shoulder made him look up into Julian's blue eyes.

"Rowen- sometimes we say things that we don't mean, sometimes we say things that we do mean, and then sometimes... we don't say anything at all. Nadar knew you loved him. When he was at the camp, for the short period of time that he was there before we left, all I was able to feel from him were guilt, sorrow, a slight feeling of joy or hope, and wonder. A little fear, but then again, you were covered in blood when you got back to the camp."

That startled Rowen. "How did you know that?" he asked, internally analyzing every nuance of the second half of the third sentence. Joy and hope? Sorrow and guilt were to be expected, wonder was not quite anticipated, and fear was always present when a human met Rowen for the first time.

Julian smiled thinly. "You smelled like it. When I lost my sight, I had to learn to depend on my other senses; smell, hearing, touch and taste. The former fairly more than the latter, but they're all quite enhanced."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Um..."

There was an awkward silence between the two of them until Sa'heera broke it. "I forgot something for you back in my room, Rowen. You need to give it back to Nadar."

Before Rowen could ask what it was she stood and exited the room, leaving the two men alone with their meal.

"So what do you think she went to get?" Julian asked.

Rowen shrugged. "Peace gift, maybe?"

Both men made noises of cynicism.

"Nah."