Good day to you! Here's chapter 11! I think I can finish with one more very long chapter, hence 12 chapters! I will aim to finish during winter vacation, I'm crossing my fingers.
Small Christmas Play:
SilverSnow19: So…I totally own Twilight…
Mrs. Meyer: What the…
SilverSnow19: SORRY! I'll never lie again! Just put the chainsaw away!
Thank you for your reviews! Really, thank you! And thank you for all the alerts too! I don't know what else to say…. For those who share my current lifestyle (sleep, eat, study)…Good luck with your exams! Merry Christmas! If you haven't seen Breaking Dawn part 1, go see it! I just did (I needed a break from all the studying!) and I liked it way better than the others!
;)
I stared at the tall wooden doors, frowning deeply. Really, what was I doing in front of church? The sun was glaring at me, encouraging me to find shelter in the sacred building.
I wasn't convinced to enter. I stood for quite a while at the entrance, trying to understand what had brought me to this praying place. Prayers...surely not. My already questionable faith in God had been quite shaken during my time in the sunless town. Still, my heart had led me to this church.
I verified a fifth time the table of mass times displayed at the entrance before finally reaching for the golden handle and pulling away to enter. With no mass, there would be no crowds at this time and a few people were already more than I could bear. I needed to be alone. Maybe that was the reason I'd come.
There'd been one time, when very young, I'd entered the church out of curiosity, and the silence had amazed me. It'd been quieter than my own home passed bed time. There'd been no one. The illuminated prayer lampions had brought a smile to my face and great excitement, until I'd discovered I had to pay to lit one myself. It had been colourful to my young eyes, warm and peaceful. It had been exciting, having the place for myself, and the silence had persisted a good ten minutes until an old couple had decided to invade my new fort to visit the place.
I was probably seeking the serenity of my memory.
My lifeless eyes scanned the inside, not seeing much. It was considerably darker in the spacious church. I stopped not far from the entrance, between the holy water basins that greeted visitors. Soon, my vision adapted and the Virgin Marie statue resting behind the faraway altar became more defined. The light piercing though the stained glass windows was coloring her features with a warm hue. I could see in the rays of light the floating particles of dust, slowly descending to eventually sweep the ground. The wooden benches were empty. It was quiet.
I looked to the right. Further down the side alley, there danced several dozens of flames, bringing amity to the place and ache to my heart. I gazed with pain at the candles still waiting to be lit. Mister Chef would light one for my diseased grandparents each Christmas. A thought for the dead…It was a reminder that someone related to me had most likely died. I didn't want to light a candle. It would make Her death official. He was probably suffering right this moment. If not, he was busy running away with her, trying to protect her from the trouble I had brought. My frame trembled and I closed my wet eyes. I shut them tight and fought back tears. I let out a light unsteady breath.
I took a step to the left. It quietly echoed to my ears. I listened to the sound of a second step, distracting myself from the boiling desire to cry. My eyes reopened and I searched through the blur of beginning tears for the most retreated seat. I chose far from the front and far from the entrance. I sat on the hard bench and stared ahead. I didn't bother drying my wet eyes with a sleeve. They would dry on their own.
I waited patiently. I waited and waited, but the sacred feeling of the place didn't cure me. I was still in a hole of misery, full of shame and missing Him. I closed my eyes again. Another tear grazed my cheek. I missed him, I missed him so much.
A door creaked opened and a stranger's footsteps were heard. I slid low into my seat and put my hood on. I didn't want someone to notice me. I kept my eyes shut so that whoever was entering the place wouldn't trouble me if they did notice me. They would think I was deep in prayers. Or sleeping.
Something turned odd. The noise of shoes clunking on the floor was growing nearer. I noticed it was steady, slow steps. The person wasn't in a hurry. The noise stopped nearby and I registered the ruffling sounds of clothes. The stranger was sitting nearby despite all the empty seats. I ignored the oddball. If the person was somehow dangerous, I'd be careful after evil intentions were revealed. To me, being cautious didn't seem as important anymore. The silenced returned and I figured the person had started praying.
Would anyone listen to that stranger's prayers? To pray was an opportunity to pour the heart out, to talk about your troubles. Apparently, it helped. But I only had myself to talk to, really. Or I could talk to my insane creator, but whoever that was; I didn't deem them capable of cheering me up. I worked on clearing my mind for a while. Thinking wasn't good.
"It's disrespectful to keep your hood on inside the church"
My heart stopped. Despite his voice being soft…and muffled, the stranger had scared the hell out me. I turned around to glare at him but there was no one to receive my silent anger. I got on my knees, turning my whole body around and looked over the bench, trying to find the person.
"I'm two seats behind" The stranger said. The voice was that of a young man, probably.
I couldn't see him so I assumed he was crouching, hiding from my view. I was going to leave my seat and take a closer look at where he'd said he was, but he didn't want me to.
"Stay where you are" His voice echoed a little louder.
"Who are you?" I asked him warily. I wanted to be alone, not with a hiding freak. He needed to go quickly.
"Someone who will listen" He replied.
I narrowed my eyes. "I'm leaving" I said sternly and headed for the doors without taking a glance at the man who'd managed to irritated me in my lifeless state.
"I'll be here in two days, same time. Please come."
His words reached me and added oil to the fire. I stormed passed the wooden doors, for some reason angrier than I'd felt in a long time…A stranger was trying to be a saint by helping a random someone. I didn't need help from a hiding moron. That's what I'd decided.
Two days later, I was in front of the church again, frustrated at myself. Why was I back, at the very time I shouldn't have been? The strange man would be there in a few minutes and he'd make fun of me for actually showing up after my angry escape.
I was curious, maybe. Or I wanted to verify if he'd been serious. Was he actually going to come again, just for me? Seriously, what a freak. Yeah, he was probably a psycho dude. If not, maybe a journalist trying to make a big scoop: "Charm Gone Nuts; Mind Travelling to the Twilight World!" His article would say. That would explain his attempt at hiding, his promise to be here again, and his purposely distorted voice. Maybe he though I knew him from previous interviews.
Inside the church, I hid in a confessional, leaving its door barely open for me to peak away at the outside environment. I was thankful that there was no priest sitting down on the other side of the grid, waiting for a confession. I wondered briefly why the church was open without surveillance.
A few minutes later, the man showed up. My breathing stopped and my eyes followed his figure as he slowly walked up the main aisle. The black hood covering his head shifted form right to left as he searched the inside of the church, trying to find me. He stopped mid-way to the altar, and quietly took a seat. And he waited.
Kneeling down in my hidden corner, I tried to relax my tense muscles and slow my beating heart. Why was I suddenly anxious? What it fear, or was it hope? Hope for what? I kept my eyes glued to the figure and a hand on my chest, trying to control my breathing. I was afraid he might hear my heart drumming against my ribs.
The man stayed there for twenty minutes, enough time to cut off the blood circulation in my legs. At least, I'd managed to calm down. He was still sitting strait, looking ahead and waiting patiently. I almost felt guilty for some reason and the extra time spent in the confessional had allowed my brain to create a dangerous thought: that of coming out. I didn't have time to really consider the idea as all my attention was suddenly captured by the man standing up. I watched his shoulder rise and fall with a deep sigh.
"I needed your help, you know?" I heard him mutter.
My eyes grew large. The suspicious person needed my help? That had officially broken my shell of death. I still had that heavy hole in my chest and I was slowly dying, but I finally felt something that wasn't detrimental to my health. Curiosity; although curiosity killed the cat…
I also felt…sorry, or maybe empathy. He didn't give off the vibes of a reporter. He had an aura of loneliness. His hands slipped into the pockets of his jeans, his defeated stance; it almost looked like he too was rotting away. But that was only if you really paid attention to him. He was very well dressed, clean and the time he'd spoken to me, he'd seem jollier than I could ever be after my experience.
"Why?" I asked the man against my better judgment. He jolted around, searching for me. When he turned in the direction of my confessional, I was disappointed to find that his face too was covered by his huge hood. Only his chin and a surprised opened mouth were vulnerable to my gaze and from the little I could see, I thought he had the potential to be very attractive. But being attractive wasn't going to diminish my cautiousness. He walked up to my wooden cover and I quickly warned him not to open the door.
"Don't come in" I told him, completely shutting the door closed. "If I can't see your face, neither should you"
"I've already seen your face" He pointed out, much to my annoyance. I noticed his voice held…happiness.
"Stay out!" I shouted with a firm tone. He respected my wish. I a heard a thump and the door shook for a moment. I figured the man had sat down and leaned against the confessional. I was basically trapped, but I didn't feel that way. I had a feeling that he'd let me go if I wanted to.
"I'm glad you came" He said after a moment of silence. His honesty unsettled me.
"I shouldn't have" I told him, trying to sound confident. "And you're freaking me out, hiding under loose clothes and changing your voice…"
"You could tell?" He asked, not seeming so surprised.
"What? That you're faking your voice?" I snorted. "You're not doing a very good job at it"
"Why thank you very much!" He chuckled. Weirdo. Quite a bit like Him.
A moment of silence went by and the man decided to ask something annoying to cover it up.
"Why did you come?" He inquired.
"Why did you want me here?" I countered defensively. Silence came again.
"My profession requires me to read people well…" He began after a while and I cut him straight off.
"Oh God! You're a therapist, aren't you?" I said, cursing my stupidity. I'd fell in the trap my parents had set with a therapist…but then again, what kind of professional secretly follows his clients? Didn't the client have to agree to the treatment first?
"Of course not!" He quickly said, sensing my panic. "I'm not even old enough to have the diploma for that" He said.
I sighed in relief. "Yeah, you're right, it's silly of me to have said that, especially since I can estimate so well your age when you're covered up like that" I retorted. The man chuckled.
"I'm glad" He said, and he truly sounded glad.
"What for?" I asked, curiosity taking the better of me, again.
"If you're capable of sarcasm, then you're doing much better" He said with a peaceful, satisfied tone.
His concern touched me and I stared quietly at the door that separated us. I took the time to think his words over. It was surprising, but maybe I was actually doing a little better. So strange…and unforgivable; should the devil be happy?
"So yeah, I need to read people well. I'm like an artist, sort of…" He said, taking me away from my sullen thoughts. "And when I saw you in the church… I thought that maybe you felt as shitty as I do" He chuckled bitterly. He didn't sound so good anymore.
"So…"
"So I thought that I could listen to your story, and then perhaps you'd be willing to listen to mine…Pretty self-centered, right?"
"Everything we do in life is for ourselves" I said.
"That's pretty depressing…" He snorted.
"You know…you should probably talk to someone you trust first" I told him, but I realized I was suggesting something unreasonable. After all, I hadn't told anyone yet. Did that mean I didn't trust my family, Mr. Chef?
"It's easier to talk to a stranger" He admitted. "…And to end things as strangers"
"Hence the disguise" I guessed. He was probably nodding on the other side of that door.
"…Fine. I'll listen" I told him. Maybe hearing the misery of another would make me fell less sorry for myself. Yup, very self-centered.
"What…I go first?" He asked with amusement.
"I'm not telling you anything" I said strait out.
"Such a harsh way to show your distrust." He complained. Still, he did so with an amused tone.
"So…spill before I leave." I advised him. I gave the man a while to think his words through. He took quite some time, but I didn't rush him. If I had to summarize my story, I wouldn't know where to start, and I wouldn't be sure if the words would even come out. Maybe it'd hurt too much.
"I…" He began uncertain. "I…lost love" He finally said. I waited for more, maybe an elaboration.
"That's it?" I asked him, seeing as nothing else was coming out of his mouth. I regretted it.
"It's not enough?" He asked immediately.
Chills ran down my spine at his heavy tone. He sounded…like me…Miserable…and deeply hurt. His eyes would have been dead serious if I'd been staring into them, and I would've felt his misery in an amplified way. Maybe I would've cried too. Instead, I was trembling lightly. And I'd begun remembering Him, how he was beyond my reach and would remain as such. I'd lost love too and it was amply enough. It was too much.
"No…it's plenty." I told him with trembling lips. The hole in my chest was getting deeper.
"That's all I can manage to say." He said and gave a long sigh. "Sorry…I kind of made the mood heavy" He apologized. I thought it was stupid of him. If anybody needed to apologize, it was me.
"So what's your problem?" He said after a while, his tone back to normal.
"I told you. I don't want to talk about it" I said, a little more gently than the first time.
"I feel better, you know?" He said with a light chuckle. "A little less weight on my shoulders now"
I smiled and it would probably have terrified the hell out of a little child; my smiles weren't quite proper anymore.
"For me to feel better, I'd have to say things that you'd never believe" I soon said to him.
"Then tell be something I'll believe" He proposed, determined to get something out of me.
"I can't think of anything"
"Emotions are real" He hinted. I grimaced at his persistence.
"I feel…completely miserable. And the solution to my misery feels completely out of reach." I admitted.
"…It's not a foreign feeling" He muttered.
Suddenly, I heard the shuffling of clothes as the man rose from his position, and then, footsteps walking away. Was he leaving? More importantly, why was I disappointed that he probably was? I wanted his company after all, didn't I? I changed my kneeling position to sit down on my bum. I couldn't feel my legs anymore, but I could definitely feel the little ants crawling inside of them as the blood started to flow properly again. As I massage my legs, I heard a clinking sound and footsteps again. The man walked back to the confessional and sat down again. I didn't want to admit the relief I felt at him being back.
"What were you doing?" I asked him.
"I lit a candle for a promise" He told me. I wandered what promise it could have been.
"What? You're not going to ask?" The man teased after a moment of silence.
"Fine. What did you promise?" I asked, a tad bit entertained by his game.
"I promised that no matter what you'll tell me, I'll regard you as a total nut case. I'll blame everything that doesn't make sense on some bad chemistry in your brain!"
I frowned at that. "And you still want me to confide in you?" I asked him sceptically.
"Sure!" He replied, sounding proud of himself. "With such a promise, you don't have anything to lose right? I'm already warning you that I'll deem you nuts, might as well pour the story out while you're not afraid of being judged" He explained.
"You're fucking weird, you know that?" I told him.
"Wow! Such language in a church!" he joked.
"Sorry…"
"So what's your problem?" He asked again. "You turned into a boar and travelled the Lion King world?" He proposed, surely a smile plastered on his face.
"Don't mock the idea just yet." I warned him.
"What, for real?"
"Of course not, but the idea of travelling to a fictional world applies" I admitted, a bit reluctant. Bye, bye sanity.
"So which world did you visit?" He asked, going along with my delirious proposition.
"Twilight..."
"Oh! Vampires…" He said, suddenly serious. I couldn't understand the change in mood.
"You know about it?" I asked him.
"Yeah…someone made me read the books" He admitted, his tone darkening. I didn't like it.
"What happened exactly?" He asked me next.
"I'm not sure. I'd been attending school and in less than a second, for no apparent reason, I found myself attending class in Forks' High, sitting next to Ed…..ward." That had been particularly hard to say. "I thought I was just dreaming, but things felt too real and for a dream to be that long just wasn't right." I chuckled bitterly. "Then, eventually, I figured out that in that world, there was a book about my own life, which had been made into a movie" I said with hatred laced into my words; hatred for the ones who were screwing with the life they'd given me.
"Then…your life is supposedly invented?" The man asked, trying his best to follow.
"Something like that…And I'd say it's the same for…Bella." I said, fishing out of my mind the theories I'd come up with.
"So you switched lives that day? Were you…like…in her body or something?" The concerned stranger questioned. He was actually walking me through this with a serious attitude. It was odd, not at all like a person mentally making fun of you.
"Yeah…And she was probably in mine. Someone told me I'd been slightly strange during the exchange's time. I wish I could speak of this to her boyfriend. Maybe he'd know something, like if she'd told him she wasn't actually me. But if it were the case, and he'd asked about Bella, I wouldn't be able to tell him."
"I'm confused…Tell him what?" The man asked.
"That…she's probably gone" I said with pain in my chest.
"Gone?"
"Yes. Gone" I said with an increasing hostility; I didn't want to say it, but the man was determined to get the words out of me.
"What do you mean gone?" Either he was stupid or he simply couldn't believe what I was implying, which was odd, death happened every day.
"Dead! I killed her! I was being attacked by vampires when the switched occurred. I wished to go back home as they were just about to kill me but then I came back to my body and now she's…" I couldn't say it again. My vision was blurry and I was trying hard to choke back sobs. My throat was constricted and my heart was being squeezed again. However, the quiet crying heard in the church didn't come from me. My eyes widened and I dried them with my sleeve. I stared at the wooden door, surprized.
"Are you crying?" I asked the stranger. It felt like an extremely stupid question. Why would the man be crying?
Shuffling was heard and the door to my confessional creaked opened. The first thing my eyes caught was a tear falling from the stranger's chin. I didn't have time to complain about his invasion of my privacy. He entered quickly without a word and fell on me.
He hugged me, and I highly doubted it was for the purpose of consoling me. His trembling figure stayed glued to mine and his hold on me was almost as painful as it was desperate. His fingers were digging into my arms. His face was still hidden by the black hood and his head was pressing into the crook of my neck. His tears were wetting my sweater. I didn't know what to do. I stayed frozen. I was trying to understand what was happening. The man seemed in more pain than I'd ever been. Then, he whispered something that got me close to a heart attack.
"I killed Bella" He'd choked out, his frame trembling even more. I started to tremble too.
"W-what are you saying?"
"I didn't believe her…" He cried and his voice what ripping my heart apart.
"What?" I asked, my own voice beginning to tremor. I started crying too.
"I'm Jay" He said and his head rose, the hood falling back. I caught his gaze and blue wet gems appeared before me. "I was dating her, and she tried telling me about the switch, but I just couldn't believe her so I ended it, not even using her name, and then she disappeared and you appeared instead." He croaked.
"I…what?" I said, my trouble mind trying to piece things out and complete the puzzle quickly.
"You've read the book of your life, haven't you?" He asked me, grabbing my shoulder and shaking them weakly. He looked broken.
"I…didn't have time." I told him, painfully remembering the time I'd spent in Forks. I hadn't been able to grab a copy of the book since the theater outing.
"I'm Jay; we were supposed to get married in our late twenties. That's what Bella told me in the end. But I fell in love with her. We started dating and one day, she made me read Twilight and started talking about how she wasn't from this world. It scared me, and I tried to ignore it, but she's stubborn and she wasn't satisfied that I didn't believe her. She continued pushing ideas onto me that were completely crazy. I thought maybe she was making fun of me, that she didn't actually love me and was trying to get rid of me." He admitted, avoiding my gaze. The tears were still spilling from his eyes and he was still shaking. I was pretty much in the same state.
"Then, the day I proposed to end our relationship, you suddenly switched again and your demeanour totally changed. I figured Bella had either been telling the truth or that she suffered from a split personality disorder. I followed you incognito for a while and the more I observed, the more I started believing her words. And you just confirmed everything, but to think that she's dead…?"
I was supposed to be mad, really, really mad at him. He'd tricked me in my misery…
I hugged him tightly, not an ounce of anger in me.
We were out of the confessional, sitting on the floor with our backs against the wall, our shoulders touching. His head was leaning on top of mine and I allowed the strange contact as I stared sadly at the church's interior decorations. We'd been there for about fifteen minutes, bathing in silence. No one had come and we'd eventually calmed down. I figured we were both lost. We didn't know what to say, what to think or what to do. But then Jay distracted me with a question.
"If you could, would you go back?" He asked me in a whisper.
I frowned and my saddened gaze fell to the floor. "If I did, would he forgive me?"
"Who?..." He questioned. His voice was so lifeless.
"…Edward." I replied. I sounded pretty dead too.
"What's your relationship?"
"We were friends…maybe just acquaintances…and I loved him" I admitted.
"What sin did you commit that requires his forgiveness?"
"Well…I kissed him…it kind of destroyed the little trust that was keeping us together…But that's not really it. If I go back, then I'm separating him from Bella again and she's the one he loves. If she's alive, he probably loves her more now, after spending time with her"
"How do you know he loves my Bella" He asked. 'My' Bella, he'd said…
"He never said it, but it's obvious that he does."
"I bet you could come up with a list of things that point towards him loving you" Jay proposed.
"Maybe I could, but it would be the size of a pea compared to the list for Bella. I'm telling you, he loves her." I explained, frustrated that I had to emphasise something I didn't like to hear.
Jay chuckled lightly and the movement of his jaw transferred to my head, shaking its poor content.
"Yeah, probably…just like I love you…" He said, and his voice was gaining a bit of life. "You know…you and I could have been a perfect Bella-Edward couple, but unfortunately, you are no more than a female version of Jacob to me." I think I understood perfectly what he meant.
"She actually made you read all the books?" I asked him, surprised. How else would he know the Bella-Jacob dynamic?
"Proves how much I love her, don't you think?"
"Shut up…"
"…Jay?" I called shortly after.
"You just told me to shut up" he chuckled. I rolled my eyes.
"You know…it's different for you and Bella" I told him, trying to voice out what was bugging me.
"What is different?"
I took a deep breath. "You met her before me. Edward didn't meet me before her. Plus, I'm pretty sure I don't smell like strawberry freesia ice cream to you. I don't think your affection for me is the same as Edward's for Bella. In fact, I'm sure it's not. He really, really loves her."
"Yeah, well I'm not giving her up." Jay said with conviction and a hint of amusement.
"How can you still be even the least bit happy?" I had to ask him. "You're really strong…"
"Hmm…It's because I drink protein shakes and they make me work out for my movies."
I hit him the stomach.
"Ow! Evil witch!" He said, removing his head from its nest and groaning a little from the pain. I smirked away.
"But really, it's because I have you with me." He said after recovering from my week elbow stab. I looked at him, surprised and touched. He simply offered me a small smile. He threw his head back, carefully resting it against the wall and I could guess that he was thinking up something else to say.
"And…" He hesitated "also because I can still hope that she's alive and well... After all, we don't know what happened after the switch." He explained with a glint in his eyes.
I thought about it with a painful jab at my heart. "What if you spend your life hoping?" I asked him.
"Bella means that much to me" He said.
"Stupid…" I muttered as the wet sensation in my eyes returned. Why did he have to be unhappy too?
"So are you" He countered. "You'll do the same for him, I know that much"
I chuckled darkly. "We're a couple of idiots." I said bitterly, rubbing my wet eyes. But he was less of an idiot than me. He was waiting for someone who loved him back. Or maybe not. She had Him now.
"Definitely idiots" And he leaned his head back on top of mine. A small comfort that warmed my rotting heart.
"Jay?"
"Hm?"
"If I ever leave, and go back to that world. I'll miss you" I told him truthfully. I'd miss him, my family whom I already spent little time with, and everything I knew in this world.
"You barely know me, how can I trust what you say?" He asked teasingly.
"Asks the one who says he loves me after barely an hour of talking" I retorted. "You probably said that cuz I have the body you've been loving" I said, almost pissed.
The young man laughed and took me in his arms. I tried pushing him away, embarrassed by the sudden extreme proximity, but he kept a firm hold, tightened it and in a very serious tone, said he'd miss me too.
"OMG, we should totally do that!"
"But what if the priest comes out of his room or shit?"
"We'll just run, Dumbass!"
"Gimme the weed"
"Shit! Someone's there!"
Three figures had come into the church, looking and sounding past the state of drunkenness. They were swaying like crazy and they were loud as hell. And unfortunately, they'd spotted Jay and I sitting in our corner.
"Wow, I know these Fuckers. They're celebs!" One of the guys said, trying to point at us but he had absolutely no coordination left. Jay quickly got up and offered me a hand to help me stand.
"In Canada?" The other guy slurred.
"Oh shit, it's Jay! OMG! And he's making out with his ex!" The group's girl shouted, wobbling towards us. I felt like punching her teeth out. Did the alcohol kill her eyes as well? We most certainly weren't making out!
Jay took my hand. "Let's run." He said, and run we did. We flew past them and they weren't able to catch up. I think I heard one puking and the others just stumbled on. Jay didn't stop running though. It was a bit hard for me to keep up with my weak figure, but it felt good to run, especially when there was no reason behind it; the drunken group wasn't even following anymore.
We were dangerously speeding through the crowds of town and the green traffic lights decided where we turned. It was wild and I liked it. Jay started laughing and the people tuned their heads to the beautiful sound.
"If you don't stop laughing soon, we'll be running from your fans" I told him, starting to laugh myself.
"Yeah? Well let's entertain them a little, let's tell them what we want!"
"What we want?" I asked him, a little confused.
"Yeah!" He said, "Like: I WANT BELLA BACK!" He shouted and I had trouble understanding how he could do that with a smile on. Mine disappeared.
"Stupid!" I said in a hurry. "Don't say her actual name; people will think you're crazy! It's Charm in public!" I whispered loudly above the traffic noise with a reproachful tone, trying to cover up with anger the sorrow I felt for him.
"Well I ain't calling your name, Miss! That's Edward's job" He retorted jokingly. My first reaction was to blush, but it quickly disappeared with a heavy pain in my heart. He'd never call my name like that.
"Come on! Tell the world what you want!" Jay insisted, still running, sometimes hopping, around town. I had trouble catching my breath.
"World piece!" I shouted not very loud, just for the heck of it.
"Not that!" Jay complained. He quickly turned to avoid crashing into an old lady.
"Forgiveness." I told him morosely. I bowed my head in apology to the offended senior before we disappeared from her sight.
"Maya, tell them what you really, really want." Jay said, annoyed that I wasn't complying.
"Don't call me that in the middle of the street, people can hear!" I said stubbornly.
Jay stopped running abruptly and I crashed into him. I pushed myself off of him and stared at him accusingly and he stared back with a frown.
"Why did you suddenly…"
He smirked.
"MAYA WANTS TO SEE…!" He began shouting.
"Shut up! What are you doing?" I cried out, panicked and trying to cover his mouth with my free hand, but it wasn't working. This guy was insane!
"Don't worry, they won't recognised us" He chuckled and started pulling me into a run again. I almost tripped on my feet and fell with the sudden tug.
"That's being a little too optimistic, don't you think?" I said, trying to keep up with his fast pace.
"Nah! We're not that famous….yet." He reasoned casually.
"Why are we running?" I asked Jay, my lungs starting to ache.
"Because you haven't said it yet" He explained.
"That doesn't even make sense" I complained. He ignored me.
"Okay, fine! I want to see him" I confessed begrudgingly.
Jay turned his head in my direction and granted me a genuine smile.
He was gorgeous.
"What? Couldn't hear you properly" Jay said. My eyebrows twitched.
I was going to murder the gorgeous man.
"I want to see him!" I shouted louder with a glare, knowing full well he'd heard me the first time.
"Who's him?" He asked, playing dumb.
I was going to rip out that stunning blond hair, make a wig for myself and then I'd sell him to his most desperate fans for a dollar.
"Edward" I replied, nearly growling. Jay slowed down the pace and we entered the metro station.
"You want to see that old dude?" Jay snickered, taking out his OPUS card and swiping in over the chip reader.
"YES. I WANT TO SEE EDWARD! God damn it!"
I wasn't able to see the reaction of the travellers who'd witnessed my outburst. In fact, I couldn't see a thing. My eyes were squeezed shut. I was suddenly in so much pain, I started screaming and even that hurt. I huddled up; trying to contain the pain somehow, but I couldn't even feel the movements of my limbs. My senses were paralyzed. I continued screaming despite the uselessness of it and somewhere along my screams, I heard a commotion and a particularly panicked voice.
Why is she suddenly screaming?
"Jay! I yelled, calling out to him. "Make it stop! Please!" I cried, but I doubted he could do anything. I needed to go to the hospital. I twisted and writhed around and shrieked as if my body had been slowly burning inside and out. Images of scalpels cutting through skin, needles piercing eyes, hands shoved in acid, bodies crushed, guts being pulled out, bones snapping…nothing good was coming to my brain.
Bella…
There were several voices hovering over me but I wasn't able to concentrate on the words spoken. "Jay!" I cried out again, digging my fingers into my arms and kicking at the air. "I can't take it" I whimpered. Hands prided my fingers away from my burning flesh and they felt so very cold. I'd never felt something so cold in my life.
I'm so sorry…I wish I could do something…
I screamed until I had no energy to do so. People were definitely looking out for me, but I didn't feel any better. The stressed voices were just there, doing nothing. I was so scared. I was dying for sure and there was something I'd yet to see. Something that was so important. Something that the pain was making me forget, something that smelled like sunshine and honey…
Looks like she's calming down…
And lilac…Everything was burning, but I could suddenly smell it. It was so sweet; maybe if I concentrated on the perfume, the torture would be a little more bearable, maybe I'd be able to lock my muscles into place and hold back the cries that were probably worrying the people. If I could just think about sunshine, honey and lilac… people wouldn't worry.
I don't know…something's different…
I continued screaming and writhing, but less often and for shorter amount of times. The miracle though only lasted for a few hours. The scent lost its motivating power and dying was beginning to hold greater appeal. But I wanted…I wanted something, something Jay had made me shout.
How much longer?
Ah!...I wanted to see Edward. The pale god with the heavenly scent. The cold hands and the golden eyes. The diamond skin and the angel's crooked smile…Bella's crooked smile…
About forty-six hours.
"Sorry…" I cried silently, grinding my teeth together to contain my screams. This excruciating and long lasting pain…I was back, wasn't I? I'd just separated them again. "I'm so sorry …" I was transforming… these would be my last tears. The rest of my cries would be dry ones…
Yo! Bro! What's with the face? What did Alice pick up? Jasper's looking kinda…
She's back…