It was already three in the morning and Jess had stopped crying but had not slept, all she did was just stare at the ceiling. As I turned off the light my pre pay began to ring, Jess didn't even move as I got up and answered.

"Hey." it was Clay even though I was here for Jess I needed something to do rather than just sit here not knowing what to do. "Alright" I said as I hung up. He wanted me to go check up on Tig so leaving Jess alone was not an option so I grabbed her phone and called Luann who had answered and was already on the way to stay with her.

"Jess I have something to do." I said as I sat down next to her. "Hey Jess look at me" I moved her hair away from her face as I looked at her she still had tears in her eyes as she looked at me. If I could take the pain away I would but I know that I can't do anything and she knows it. "You need to sleep" I said as I kissed her forehead as I heard the front door open. I grabbed my cut and turned off the light as I walked out of the room.

"Let her rest." I told Luann as she put her things on the table.

"Don't worry go and take care of what you need to do." she said as I just nodded and left the house.

~A~

I headed over to Tig's house. We had church in a couple of hours to discuss what to do next and Clay couldn't get a hold of Tig and he was needed at the clubhouse.

"Hey what the hell happened to you?" I asked as I looked at him as he is sitting on the couch bleeding from a cut on his forehead with a bottle in his hand. "Hey Clay has been calling you." I said as I snatched the bottle away from him as he looked up at me.

"It was a mistake" he said as didn't move.

"Brother what are you saying?"

"It was a mistake shit went wrong it was going to be Opie." he said as I leaned on the wall. Fuck.

"We thought Opie ratted on Bobby, Stahl set him up wired his truck bugged his phone." he said as I just looked at him. "I didn't know it was Donna." Fuck if this shit got out it would fracture the club, and it will break Jess more than she is right now.

"Get your shit together Clay needs us at the club."

~Luann~

It was already seven in the morning and Hap hadn't return and Jess had not moved at all and Killer would growl if I tried to go near her. He probably knew Jess was vulnerable and hurting so I just closed the door and went to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine.

Donna was the one that could deal with Jess when she was like this, when it came to this I was useless and Gemma would probably end up making it worse.

"Hey how is she?" asked Gemma as she walked in. I looked up at her, she was as if nothing had happened. She always found a way to be strong after Tommy and John and always expected the same from Jess.

"Hap said to let her rest and Killer won't let me near her." I said as she sat down, I expected her to barge into her room.

"She needs to get up, she can't just stay in bed it's not going to fix anything."

"She needs time, how do you think she feels Gemma?" I asked as I got up as she stared at me. What did she expect for Jess to get up and go work the office?

"Everyone is hurting we can't all just let it affect us." she said.

"She can't be as cold as you all the time, Donna was a sister to her not just another old lady she had to befriend. Leave her alone, when she is ready she will do whatever she needs to do."

"I'm her mother and I know what she needs not you. Just because Happy called you doesn't mean you get to over step me."

"I'm not over stepping you, all I'm saying is you can't expect her to just be out and about as if nothing happened." I said as she just went ahead an walked into the room.

"Where the hell is she?" she asked as she came out of the room.

"What?" I asked as as we both walked into the room. "Look in the restroom" I said as I noticed Killer wasn't here either. I looked outside and noticed her car wasn't here. "Her car is not here." I called out as I walked back inside.

"When the hell did she leave? Where the hell did she go?"

"I don't know she is your daughter" I said as I tried calling her but her phone went straight to voice mail. "You think she went to Opie's I said as Gemma went and grabbed her phone.

"I'll call Mary she is at Opie's"

"What the hell are we going to tell Hap?" I asked as called Mary.

"Shit he is going to kill us."

~Jax~

Mom had called me and asked if I had seen Jess, as I hung up I knew where she was knowing her there was only one place for her to be. She was probably taking it as Opie just showing it more.

"Hey" I said as she opened her eyes and looked up at me she had been crying I noticed Killer was laying with her as he looked up at me. "Jess mom is looking for you." I said as I sat down next to her.

"I should have let her go, she was right all it does is ruin things. She would have been alive if she was at her mother's not trying to learn to love the club" she said as tears fell from her eyes.

"Hey this had nothing to do with you Jess, we are going to take care of this." I said as I grabbed her hand. Killer seemed to be having a problem with me being near her but she patted him and he calmed down.

"Whatever you end up doing or killing is not going to bring her back. You know Dad was right the only one at peace is Thomas." she said as she closed her eyes. Did Hap even know where the hell she was?

"Common" I said as I got up and was going to help her stand up.

"I'm not ready to go home."

~Happy~

If it meant protecting the club and his decision Clay was going to put the blame on Laroy. Jax had just announced that the funeral was tomorrow. It was going to be a rough day for Jess, it was going to be a rough time for her.

"What are we going to do rather than just sit around talking about how everyone feels guilty." said Piney as we all looked at him.

"I know you're hurting. You think you're trying to help, but..." Clay started as Piney interrupted him.

"Don't you tell me what I'm thinking!" yelled Piney as his hand hit the table. "If it would have been Jess there would be six charters halfway to Oakland."

"Hey" yelled out Clay as he tried to gain control. Piney was right on that shit there would of already been a bullet in the skull of the fucker responsible.

"The Niners came gunning for my son. They killed my daughter-in-law. You got that hurt, huh? You got that kind of hole in your family?" he said as he walked out followed by Jax.

As I walked out I grabbed my phone to check up on Jess as I saw Gemma walking over to me.

"She's not at the house." she said as she reached me.

"I got it" I said as I already knew where she was. "I'll pick her up tomorrow" she said as she walked over to Clay as I headed to my bike.

~A~

When I arrived at the cemetery I noticed she was at Thomas instead of at John's grave, she was laying on the ground with Killer staring at her as he was sitting next to her. She didn't even notice I was looking at her as she stared at the sky.

"I can't do this." she said as she looked over at me.

"Jess what are you talking about."

"Donna's mother was right, when I met her you know what she said to me that I was trash and all that I was going to bring to her daughter trouble and that the club was good for nothing."

"Jess"

"You know what I told her" she sat up "I said that the club was my family and that we protected each other. I should have" known better.

"Your not trash."

"I know but we are not good people and Donna is dead because of a deal gone wrong. If I had never met Donna she wouldn't of met Opie and she wouldn't of been in that truck."

"Jess hey it's not your fault it's never going to be your fault. Were going to take care of this, whoever is responsible will be taken care of. Everything is going to get better." I said as I grabbed her and forced her to stand and to look at me.

"No Hap she is dead, gone and you could kill everyone that is responsible and it won't mean shit" she said as she walked over to her car. Shit I have to do some club shit but I still made sure she got home safe. I had to call Quinn and tell him I needed some time.

~The Next Day~

I couldn't sleep and seeing Donna every time I closed my eyes didn't really help. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light my eyes were puffy and red and the the lack of sleep were present in my eyes as well.

"Gemma is picking you up." Hap said as he walked in as I starred at myself in the mirror. "Jess I'm talking to you" he said as he stood behind me.

"Yeah I heard you" I said as I looked at him. " I was just going to take a shower..." before I could finish what I was saying Hap had an arm around me as he picked me up and walked over to the bed as he kissed me. Maybe this will help me feel something.

~Luann~

When I walked into Jess's house she was sitting at the table with just a towel on. At least she was out of her bed and we knew where she was.

"I brought breakfast" I said as I put it on the table and passed a plate to her.

"My eyes hurt and I'm not really hungry." she said as I sat down.

"Try to eat something, I doubt Hap would be okay with you not eating." I said as I handed her a fork.

"You used to be the fun one" she said as she began picking her food. She looked at me and smiled as we heard the front door open.

"Oh good your eating" said Gemma as she walked in with Wendy.

Jess just looked at her and then looked at Wendy and left the table. Did she really need to bring Wendy to this, she knew how much Jess hated her and right now Jess didn't need any of this right now.

As Wendy sat down and looked around I followed Gemma into the room.

"You feeling any better?" asked Gemma as she sat down on the bed.

"No" said Jess as she got dressed.

"Jess"

"I don't want to hear it mom" she said as she finished and grabbed her bag. "I'm going with you." she said as she looked at me.

"Jess we represent..

"Can you not I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing that bullshit. My sister just died and I don't give a shit if people are going to see me cry or vulnerable. They could fucking say and think whatever the fuck they want." she said as she grabbed her coat and walked out. I grabbed my keys and followed her she needed to calm down.

~Jess~

Luann's way of helping me calm worked out a little bit but not as much as having Hap's hand on my shoulder as I sat here looking at Donna's casket.

It felt like a dream but I knew that it was me that wanted it to be a dream. I wanted to wake up and be able to call her or just go to her house to know that she was still alive.

I closed my eyes as I felt the tears threatening to fall. How could I feel so alone when I was surrounded by people?

"I'm sorry" I said as I looked at mom as she held my hand. I shouldn't have snapped at her probably the lack of sleep didn't really help.

"It's alright baby your hurting." she said as I leaned on her as she put an arm around me. She had her own way of dealing with all of this.

I noticed Jax had just gotten here and well he looked like shit. What the hell is wrong with us Tellers that we can't deal with death when we have gone thru it a lot of times?

Everyone had began to leave as they were going to meet up at the clubhouse. I was not in the mood to go nor I wanted to see people just act as if it were another day.

I noticed how mom and Clay walked over to where Jax had gone. I didn't want to move so I just sat here as Hap was talking to Lorca.

"Do you need anything?" asked Wendy as I wiped away my tears.

"No thanks" I said as she stood up as she just nodded and walked away.

"Hey you alright?" asked Tig as he sat next to me.

"No" I said as he put an arm around me.

"Stupid question."

"Yeah" I said as I leaned into him. "Would it really be that bad if I just go crazy?" I asked.

"Yeah" he said as he got up and walked away as Hap walked over here.

"You already said your goodbyes" he asked as he stood in front of me.

"I'm not ready" I said as I got up as he grabbed my hand.

"Let's get out of this place for awhile."

"Where are we going?" I said as I just really wanted to go back to the house and try to sleep and be alone.

"You're the one that said you wanted me to take you somewhere."

(Thanks for reading and reviewing)