Song Inspiration: I'll Find A Way...by Rachel Yamagata

Banner by: Mist

Crazy Glue: Chapter 11: Just Another Day Without You

Bella marched in the house with both arms loaded with grocery bags.

"I'm home." She called out while walking to the kitchen.

Walking into the room she nearly dropped everything she held. The sight in front of her nearly gave her an heart attack. Quil, Seth, and Embry stood by the sink with drenched clothes and Jake's tools on the counter next to them. They turned and gave her a guilty smile.

"What the hell is going on?" Bella demanded.

"We didn't want to alarm you but it seems the sink is ...umm... clogged." Seth was the first to speak up.

"What have you done?" Bella threw the groceries down on the kitchen table and then walked toward them.

"We are fixing it." Embry cried out.

"Are you?" Bella doubted that. She knew that these three men were not as mechanically inclined as Jake had been. Cars, trucks and bikes they could fix but house repairs were not one of their strengths. When they first bought the house it came with several minor hiccups that Jake fixed easily. However, when he called upon his friends to assist him they discovered that none of them knew what they were doing.

"I think so. I mean, the water is going down." Quil gulped hard.

"What did you put in it?" Bella hesitated to lean her head over too far to look closely into the sink.

"First we put some draino in it but that only got half of the water down so then we got this snake thingy and it helped." Embry showed her the tool they used. It was covered in gunk and held a horrible smell.

"Turn the faucet on." Bella wrapped her arms over her chest.

"Ummm...okay." Quil was the only one willing to give it a try. It took them over thirty minutes to get the rest of the water down the drain.

The water ran for a minute before he turned it off.

Bella looked at the sink and was relieved to see that the water went down easily.

"Why are you three covered in water?" Bella couldn't figure out how they got drenched over a clogged sink.

"I...we...accidentally pulled a pipe loose under the sink when we started our investigation." Seth explained.

"Did you put it back together?" Bella continued to look at them like a mother who was scolding her naughty children.

"Yes." Embry and Quil nodded in unison.

"Good. Now clean up the mess and for God's sake go change clothes." Bella couldn't handle the stench a second longer.

"Where are you going?" Seth asked curiously as Bella started to leave the room.

"I'm going to check on my son and change out of these clothes before I come back in here to start dinner." Bella answered.

"Oh he isn't here." Quil chewed on his lower lip nervously.

"What? Where is he?" Bella demanded.

"Rachel took him with her and Liam to some pizzeria place in Port Angeles." Seth answered.

"Why would she take my son for pizza?" Bella glared suspiciously at them.

"Umm...she thought you might need a break tonight from cooking and stuff." Seth gulped hard.

Embry shoved his hands in his back pocket before dropping his head and staring sadly at his feet. Quil turned away from her. Bella couldn't fathom why in the world they were acting so oddly today.

"Why today? What's so important about today?" Bella felt her stomach sinking to the ground.

"It's Jake's birthday." Seth said so softly she almost didn't hear him.

"Today. Shit." Bella smacked her forehead with the palm of her head.

She suddenly found herself unable to breathe. The oxygen seemed to disappear from the room.

"Bella." Seth rushed to her side as her eyes began to roll into the back of her head.

"I'm okay." Bella sucked in her breathe.

"No your not. I'm sorry. I thought that was why you were in such a terrible mood today." Seth placed his hand in the center of her back while holding her upright.

"I'm not in a terrible mood or at least I wasn't." Bella stepped away from him and looked at the other two people in the room. She felt terrible. Of course she knew this day was coming but in the back of her mind she dreaded it so much that she somehow blocked it entirely out.

"Why don't you go upstairs and change clothes. We will cook dinner for you." Seth suggested.

Bella looked at the three of them and laughed rudely.

"Thanks but no thanks." Bella grabbed her purse and keys.

"Where are you going?" Embry asked.

"I need to leave." Bella flew out of the house like a bat outta hell. She knew they would try to stop her and she didn't want to deal with it. She needed to get away for awhile.

Her phone rang and she looked at it, debating on whether or not to answer it. She knew it was Seth calling her. He would want to know where she was going and she honestly didn't have a clue. She just planned on driving until she could breathe easily again.

When the phone began to ring again she grabbed it and didn't even bother to check if it was Seth or not.

"I don't know where I'm going." Bella answered.

"Okay. Hi Bella. It's Alex." Alex chuckled nervously.

Bella looked at the phone in disbelief and then put it back to her ear.

"I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else." Bella explained.

"I'm gathering that. So are you lost?" Alex asked.

"Lost?" Bella frowned as she stared out the windshield at the gloomy sky above her.

"Yeah, you said you didn't know where you were going." Alex reminded her.

"Oh. No I'm not lost in the sense of direction. Haha. I'm lost in a world of gloom however." Bella couldn't hold back the pain that engulfed her the moment Seth reminded her of the significance of today.

"Gloom, uh. That's not good. I'm in Forks about to drive over to the diner. You want to meet up and grab a cup of coffee?"

Bella wasn't sure if his offer was such a good idea, especially not today.

Tears filled her eyes making it hard to see out of them. She really needed a drink. A really big one. She knew it was a pathetic way to deal with the misery that clung to her broken heart but at the moment she couldn't resist the temptation.

"I don't know." Bella gulped hard as a fresh batch of salty tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Bella are you okay? You sound like your crying." Alex asked with concern in his voice.

"I am crying. I'm sorry I wouldn't be good company today." Bella wiped away the tears and fought back the urge to sob out loud.

"Is this about your deceased husband?" Alex asked curiously.

"Yes. Today is his birthday and I forgot all about it until I got home to find his friends working on my kitchen sink." Bella exhaled loudly.

"Oh. I'm terribly sorry Bella. I can't imagine the pain you are dealing with." Alex replied honestly.

"No, I guess you couldn't." Bella agreed.

"I can however offer you a warm drink and we can talk about other stuff to keep your mind off of it, if you want. If not I completely understand." Alex offered.

Bella considered his offer very seriously. She knew she was walking on a fine line. If she went to a bar, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from getting dead drunk. The pain was increasing and it literally felt like her ribs were pressing into her lungs so that when she took a breath it hurt like hell.

"Give me fifteen minutes and I will meet you there." Bella decided.

"Good. See you soon."

Bella chunk the phone across the front seat. She really wasn't in the mood to get to know a stranger but she also wasn't willing to get drunk and lose what little control she finally managed to get back into her life. With that final thought in the back of her head she flew into Forks and forced herself to pretend that today was like any other day, a day without Jake.

XXX

Spending time with Alex helped her from drinking today.

When she returned home she wasn't surprised to find Seth sitting on the porch steps wearing his usual look of exhaustion and worry.

"Hey." Bella sat down next to him and looked up at the star filled sky.

"Where were you? I tried calling you like a million times." Seth sighed.

"I'm sorry. I sort of threw my phone in the truck and well I didn't realize it had come apart." Bella explained.

"Where were you?" Seth repeated his question. He didn't like not knowing where she was, especially on days like this.

"I...I met a friend. I didn't drink. See." Bella blew her breathe in his face.

"What is wrong with you?" Seth laughed softly as he pretended to wave away her foul breath.

Bella laughed too.

"Seriously Bella, you can't do this to me. I know I'm not your boss or anything but damn it woman I worry about you. If anything happened to you ...I don't know how I could stand it." Seth turned and stared into her eyes as he confessed how deep his feelings ran for her. He knew she wouldn't pick up on the romantic aspect of his feelings. She would just interpret his feelings in a friendly state.

"I wasn't thinking clearly. It was wrong of me to run out on you like that. I just...it hurt too much Seth. It felt like I was dying a little at a time. The dreams are no longer coming to me and every night I have to fight with myself not to get up and take a drink. I have to let him go but damn it, I don't want too. I mean, if I do, what does that say about what we shared?"

Seth listened closely to her words. He understood her logic but he knew in the end she would have to let Jake and the love they shared go in order to live a normal life. He couldn't see how she could ever love someone truly, if a big part of her heart always belonged to her deceased husband.

"I think it means that you understand that the time you spent with him is over. I think you are more scared of the possibility that you could fall in love again and would that somehow cheapen what you shared with Jake. It wouldn't. You had something millions of people strive for each day. Unfortunately you only got to know it for a short time but that doesn't mean you're necessarily doomed to never know that kind of love again."

Bella smiled sadly at him. She heard him loud and clear but her heart refused to believe that anyone could ever love enough to forget about Jake.

"I hope your right." Bella meant it. If it was possible to find that kind of love and happiness in her life again, then she could truly let this pain that she guarded go, once and for all.

"I know I am." Seth stroked the side of her face and smiled warmly.

"Your amazing. How come you're not married yet? Are you waiting on your imprint?" Bella switched the subject off of her past love life.

"Imprint? Are you serious? I don't believe in that. If it were going to ever happen it would have already. All the guys who found their imprints were my age or younger. So, no." Seth exhaled loudly.

"This friend of yours. Does she know about us?" Bella wondered how the single guys manage to keep the women in their lives out of the secretive world of supernatural.

"Us?" Seth choked on the gulp of air he inhaled.

Bella patted him on the back.

"Yeah, us. I mean the wolves and your friends." Bella frowned, wondering why he looked so shook up when she ask the question.

"Oh. No. I haven't told anyone about this part of my life. They would lock me up." Seth laughed rudely.

"It must be hard to keep a part of yourself locked away." Bella thought out loud.

"You tell me? Isn't that what you're doing?" Seth hated to bring her down but he was only pointing out the truth of the matter.

"Maybe. I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore." Bella looked up at the sky and wondered if Jake was up there among the stars and if he was, was he looking down at them? She would kill to have one more day with him. Just one more and maybe then she could find the closure she needed in order to give her a heart a chance to love again.

XXX

A/N: Okay, guys I'm back from vacation. Had a wonderful time visiting family. Hope you all enjoy the new chpt and I will start back up writing tomorrow, once I catch my breathe and get all my laundry done. And also "Thank-you" to those who voted for my story "Mr. Uncertain" for Favorite all Human category. I'm so excited it placed 2nd. It's my first award here on JBNP!