To Guest who asked if the names I used last chapter were Teen Wolf names. I amazingly didn't even realize the random names I typed out were Teen Wolf character's names! Lmao I haven't watched TW in a minute and totally didn't even make that connection until you pointed it out! The only name from TW I knew I was Using was Lydia but Scott and Jackson? I surprised myself haha.

CHAPTER #11: The Adventures of Sparia

Italics means thoughts, emphasized word or action. Bolded is a flashback. (….) is an indication that time has passed.

"I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University named Tyler Clementi. Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcammed by his roommate while being intimate with another man. When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited. A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death. He was 18. My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with pain in a way that I just couldn't quite understand, and then eventually I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night, reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open, and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death, literally-"

"We made it!" Aria busts through Spencer's door with her phone tightly grasped in her hands, "We made it! We made it! We made it!" Aria jumps on top of Spencer's bed with Spencer rushing to pause her video and ripping the earbuds out of her ears, dumbfoundedly surprised. "Look! We made it!" Aria shoves her iPhone in Spencer's face.

"Stop jumping and let me see!" Spencer holds on Aria's hand trying to keep her still to see what she's bouncing about.

"….Amber Franks

Spencer Hastings

Oscar Kains

Aria Montgomery…."

"We made it!" Spencer looks up at Aria with a gaping smile.

"We did! OMG! We need to celebrate!" And on that note, Aria hops off the bed with her phone and heads towards the living room, leaving Spencer scrambling to her feet.

"Wait? Wh-where are you going?" Spencer quizzically asks after Aria as the smaller roommate leans against the front door, putting on her shoes.

"Somewhere where I know we can get things to turn up with," Aria winks with a knowing smile. Putting on her last shoe, Aria unlocks the door and goes to leave when she hastily turns back around. "Quick. Do you-ah, never mind." Aria dismisses herself and leaves the dorm with Spencer standing in the middle of the small hallway.

"Alright, Aria..."
...

Spencer is going over notes in the living room when she hears the jingling of keys behind the front door. She turns around to see Aria sneakily rolling a small cooler into the dorm, something Spencer knows neither her nor herself own. "Ok…I'm afraid to ask what, why, where and who with this one."

"I told you that we have to celebrate getting past our initiation stage so I went and got our celebratory items." Aria rolls herself to the kitchen, placing her keys on the counter.

"Ok, that leaves out where and who..."

"You know Stephen down the floor?"

"No...Should I?" Spencer closes her book and makes her way towards Aria.

"Well, I've had a couple classes with him to know that he's the typical campus partier. One time, I helped him with one of his papers and the only form of payment he had were drinks," Aria opens up the cooler to reveal ice with a dispersed 12 pack sticking out, buried inside, "And I decided to cash in on that payment." Aria turns to look at Spencer who is heavily stricken by her gift, "That isn't soda if that's what you're thinking." She notes with a grin and the click of her tongue.

"You brought in alcohol?" Spencer lowers her voice as if someone would hear and report them to the TA. "If anyone found out we had this, we're so done for!"

"Relax, Spence. It's only a few drinks. We can polish them down tonight." Aria reaches up and pinches Spencer's cheeks with a face of assurance and joy, "Nobody would even know."

...

Cracking open her third bottle of Budweiser, Aria stands on top of the couch. "A toast for kicking ass and becoming one of UPenn's Blitz Society members!" Aria raises her bottle in the air.

"This is like your third time toasting, Aria" Spencer tries to pull Aria down before she falls over.

Aria pulls away from Spencer's grasp, trying not to spill her drink, "So let's toast for the fifth time! A sixth time! A seighth time!"

"Seighth?"

"It's somewhere between seven and eighth." Aria jumps down from the couch, trying to catch her balance by holding onto Spencer's leg, "They should make it an actual number." Aria reaches for her phone on the couch with her free hand, "Who do we have to call to make that happen? Congress?"

Spencer easily snatches the phone out of Aria's loose grip, "I don't think congress wants to hear a babbling fool talking about a number they made up."

"Oh c'mon, Spen!" Aria moves the hair out of her face as she slightly sways to the right, "Loosen up! This is like my third drink and what?" Aria points to Spencer's hand cradling a bottle of Heineken, "You're still on your first!"

Spencer looks down at her drink, "I don't get drunk because of...reasons. I'm drinking in moderation."

"Moderation my ass." Aria puts her drink on the small table in front of the couch and grabs the Bud out of Spencer's hand.

"Hey!" Spencer reaches back for her drink but Aria pulls back.

"Open your mouth. You're gonna chug this motherfucker thing dooooown."

Aria leans in to grab Spencer's face but the taller brunette slaps her hand away. She puts up a finger with a face of complete seriousness. "Don't you dare, Aria."

"Choo Choooo! Here comes the train!" Aria shakes the bottle in front of her and dives in like a mother spoon feeding her infant child. "Open wiiiiiide!"

Spencer closes her lips shut as she leans back into the sofa away from Aria's "feeding". "Mmmm!" She utters disagreement from within her throat as she shakes her head.

"Fine…Then don't do it" Aria backs off, "This is kind of like porn. You don't have to do anal if you don't want to…" Aria suddenly jumps on the brunette as she squeezes Spencer's lower face, tilting her head back, "But here you have no choice! Peel back those lips, Hastings! I'm about to get you inebriated!"

...

During the night of letting loose and celebrating, the girls definitely found themselves doing things they probably would hesitate doing sober…

Pretending They Are at a Live Concert

Scanning YouTube on their Blu-Ray player, the girls thought it would be a great idea to relive one of their favorite bands from their middle school years.
Late at night.
At full blast.
Great idea.

"Well that's it! We hope you've enjoyed your night. We are Paramore. We'll see you around Chicago!"

As soon as the band starts up one of their most popular songs, Spencer and Aria crazily jump and down in synchronization of the music.

"I'm in the business of misery, let's take it from the top!
She's got a body like an hourglass that's ticking like a clock!"

The two drunk brunettes sing as loud as they can the lyrics as they sip the drinks in their hands, trying not to spill them.

"It's a matter of time before we all run out!" Aria jumps in front of Spencer, grabbing her free hand as she yells along.

Spencer responds just as loudly, bouncing up and down, "When I thought he was mine, she caught him by the mouth!"

"Oh my gooood. I fucking love this song!" Aria yells over the blaring video playing in their living room, "I feel so aliiiive!"

"I know right?! Way to relive the horror years of my middle school experiences!"

Not Knowing How to Operate Everyday Things

"Where are you going?" Spencer calls out to Aria who is walking towards the front door.

"I think I dropped my pack of gum out in the hallway." Aria goes to the door handle to open the door but it's locked. Looking at the door perplexed, she unlocks the bottom lock and pulls on the door handle that won't open. She locks the bottom lock and unlocks the top lock then pulls on the door handle again. Still locked.

Locks top lock and pulls on handle. Locked

"Wait…" She mumbles to herself as she points at the two locks, trying to figure out what's going on.

Unlocks bottom lock and pulls on handle. Locked.

Locks bottom lock, unlock top locks and pulls on handle. Locked.

Unlocks top lock and pulls on handle. Locked.

"Dude! What the fuck is the combination to this lock?!"

Attempted Prank Calling

Spencer crouches down in the kitchen as she pulls out her phone and dials Aria who is in her room. She starts to silently giggle as she hears the other brunette's phone go off.

"Hello?" Aria answers the private caller as she tries to sound as normal as possible.

"What are you wearing?" Spencer tries to disguise her voice but the hiccups and a small snicker behind it gave her identity away.

Aria smiles as she puts the phone in front of her mouth, "My pajamas, bitch!"

Ranting

"So! You want to become a lawyer, an attorney or whatever the fuck you're getting your degree for, huh?!" Aria stands in front of Spencer like a military drill sergeant as Spencer sits on the couch. "Well guess what fucker!" Aria leans into Spencer's face in full commanding mode, "You're not ready to run with the big dogs yet! Not until you could shove an entire bowl of Ramen Noodles up your ass!"

Spencer bursts out laughing as she turns her head to the side away from Aria's face. "Seriously?"

"Yes! Each and every individual noodle up your fucking ass! You need a striped blazer in every color! And one for your fucking water bottle to match!" She jabs her finger in Spencer's chest
"You need to shit this from your soul! You want to be in law? YOU GOT TO GO BIG OR GO HOME! THIS IS WHAT IT TAKES!"

Reenacting Famous Movie Scenes*

As Aria goes to the bathroom, Spencer goes into the trash, picks up three empty beer bottles.

"Ariiiiaaaaa…" Spencer clanks together the bottles as she stuck her thumb, index and ring fingers inside and pinched like a crab, leaning her body against the door, "Come out to plaaaaaay."

She clinks the bottles harder as her voice rises in a eerie tone,

"Ariiiiiiiaaaaaaa! Come out to plaaa-aaaay!

ARIIIIIIIAAAAA! COME OUT TO PLAAAA-AAAAY!

ARIIIIAAAAAAA-"

"Ok, Spencer stop! You're scaring me!" A muffled voice comes from the other side of the door.

"ARIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Spencer slams the bottles together even harder as her pitch its peak, "COME OUT TO PLAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Name Combinations

"If we were fictional characters, what would our ship name be?" Aria asks as she leans up against Spencer on the couch.

Spencer ponders for a moment, looking straight ahead in deliberation "Sparia Monthastings"

"What about Sparia Hastgomery?"

"Sparia Hastery"

"Sparia Montgomings"

"Sparia Monty-haste"

"Sparia Monty Python and the Holy Grail!" Aria snaps, "I like it!"

Drunk Story Telling

Aria and Spencer are on Aria's bed, laying side by side as they reveal some parts of their lives before college.

Or at least attempt to.

"So one time my ex, whose name is..." Aria recollects but stares up at the ceiling in confusion, "His name is…oh my gosh, I can't remember his name!" Aria rolls into Spencer in a small giggling fit which causes Spencer to start laughing as well.

"What's his name?"

"Wait, I'm tripping out," Aria rolls back onto her back as she palms her forehead in thought, "Oh my god. Okay. His name is fucking…" Aria cuts herself in another fit of laughter as hides behind her hand.

"His name is fucking?!" Spencer snickers in complete hilarity, causes both sloshed girls to roll into each other back and forth, laughing as hard as could be.

"Noooo!" Aria puts a finger to her lip as she tries to bypass the laughter and remember Ezra's name. "It's fucking something…"

"He's fucking something?" Spencer turns to face the pondering brunette.

"No, he was fucking me!"

The room erupts in hazy laughter as Spencer tries to catch her breath, waving her hands in the air as a form of defeat. "Waitwaitwait! I-I can't!"

Going On Adventures

Figuring that maybe they wanted to roam out on their lovely College House late at night, the buzzed Aria and Spencer found themselves idly roaming, trying to be appear as sober as they drunkenly can. While going up and up every floor, the two heard loud music bumping from a certain hallway with caused them to check it out. Once they saw where the action was taking place and the people walking in and out, they looked at each other with beaming grins because they know they hit the jackpot.

"Now look," Spencer pulls Aria to the side, "We have to go in there….vigilant. We have to be vigilantes. Let's stick together and-and…We are a couple if needed to cockblock."

Aria holds out her picky up to Spencer's face, "Deal."

Spencer interlocks her pinky with Aria's before they get ready to invade some random person's dorm. Walking into the dorm party, the girls are greeted with loud hip hop music, an abundance of people and alcohol in everyone's system. Not trying to be in the center of all the madness, the two girls hold up an empty wall in the corner of the room as they plot what to do first.

"Ladies, ladies!" A guy approaches the two in open arms, yelling over the music "We're doing some jello shots over there if you want to come join us!"

"No thanks!" Spencer yells back denying his request, "We're fine!"

"Alright! Well, there are drinks over there on the table! Go over and help yourself! Get off the fuckin' wall and have some fun!" The young partygoer lightly shakes Aria's arm in a playful manner before he walks off to another set of girls.

Looking over at the table of alcohol, spencer notices something that make her eyebrows shoot up. "Hey. Change of plans." Spencer whispers into Aria's ears as she points out in front of her, "Ya'see the table with the drinks on it?"

"Yeaaaah, I'll get us some!" Aria proceeds to walk right as Spencer grabs her by the arm and pulls her back.

"Nooo. That's not it! Look at what's besides the drinks."

Aria takes her sights off the alcohol and notices the large bowl of an assortment of candy sitting right next to it, available at the partiers' convenience. "The candy?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Spencer widely grins as she raises her eyebrows up in down in a suggestive matter.

"Hell yeah…" Aria nods her head, returning the devilish look right back. Spencer leads the way as they both walk past people to get to their designated area. Luckily for them, the table in located towards the corner of the living room while everyone one else is facing the opposite direction, watching someone chug down a mini keg. Reaching the table, Spencer looks around to check her surroundings before she stuffs a handful of small candies into her jacket. As she's practicing her not so clever klepto skills, Spencer grabs some more candy and tries to find another quick and accessible location to hide them away. Looking down for one second, Spencer looks back up as she reaches for the basin to find the area where the candy once stood completely gone. She quickly turns to see that Aria took the liberty of grabbing the whole bowl and now is silently shuffling towards the door trying to go unnoticed. Spencer's eyes widen as she quickly checks around again, pacing up to her.

"What are you doing?!" She loudly whispers.

"I'm doing what we planned." Aria non-discreetly walks past some partiers that are raising eyebrows at their bowl about to walk out the door.

"Hey! Where the fuck are you going?!"

Getting caught, Aria looks down at the large bowl in her hands, "Uhm….I'm going to refill it."

"The fuck you are! You're trying to take it!"

"Noooo….." In that split second, Aria dashes to the door with Spencer catching on a second too late, being off guard at the sudden run. As soon as the smaller brunette runs through the threshold, she slams into another person, making the candy and the bowl fly everywhere.

"Hey! What the fuck!" The girl yells out as she clutches her side in pain.

"Soorry!" Aria immediately bends down and tries to pick up all the candy and it back in the bowl.

Noticing that some angry person, probably the host, is storming towards them, Spencer grabs Aria's arm, "Fuck the candy! Come on!" She forcibly lifts Aria from her crouching position and starts running down the hall trying to find their way out of there.

…...

Coming back into their dorm, laughing like hyenas, Spencer throws herself on the couch, "Okaaay, let's fucking…never do that again, Mr. I'm a quarterback."

Going back into their kitchen, Aria sucks on a jolly rancher as she walks back to the cooler, "I want to finish these off. There's only three more." Aria grabs two additional bottles as she walks over to Spencer, handing her a drink. "Me Aria. You Spencer. Together smashed." Aria mocks in her best Hulk impression as she beats on her chest.

…..

"When I first met you…" Spencer begins with a slight slur in the kitchen as Aria climbs to the top of the couch and sits on it, trying to make sure she doesn't fall backwards, "You were so fucking annoying. Like…Whenever I would see you, I would wanna ram myself into a…fucking…wall."

Aria laughs as she remembers back on their first few runs in together, "Good job, Aria!" She congratulated herself with a pat on the back.

"But now…now-now I like you." She sashays over to Aria with low eyes, "I like the spawn of Satan who wasn't even Satan at all. Just a little girl who goes by-"

"Agneeees!" Aria lifts her hands in the air with excitement. Moving so suddenly, she loses he balance and falls backwards into the couch.

"Ugh! I haven't had sex in so long!" Spencer whines as she leans over the couch instead of helping Aria, "And I need some like…right now. Who-who's the guy who gave us these drinks? St…St-Stan? Where's Steve? Tell Steve I'm gonna rock his world."

"EZRA!" Aria pops up from behind the couch with the face of elation. "HIS NAME IS FUCKING EZRA!"

"Ezra?" Spencer cocks her head to the side with a squint, "I'on 'member his name being Ezra. I'm pretty sure his name was Sebastian." Her face changes from pondering to sleazy as she moves side to side, "But where is this Ezra? He sounds hot."

"Oh my god!" Aria moves her hair out her face, still surprised at her revelation about an hour late, "Of course! Fuckme!"

"You…You-you want me to fuck you?"

"Huh?!"

"What?!"

"Wait…..who's fucking who?"

"I thought I was gonna fuck Ezra?"

"I fucked Ezra!"

"You fucked Sebastian?!"

"Who's Sebastian?!"

"The guy who gave us the drinks!"

"Stephen?!"

"Who's Stephen?! When did you fuck Sebastian?!"

"Nooo! I fucked Ezra!"

"…When?! You fucked him here?!"

"Noooooo! Back home! My ex's name is Ezra!"

"This is too much." Spencer rubs her face in confusion as she staggers away from the couch, whining, "All this fucking and I'm not doing any of it!"

…...

Ending the night as their bodies begin to shut down, the two decide to watch a movie. Of Aria's choosing of course.

"Wait!" Aria jumps up to quickly, causing her to wait to regain her balance, "I can't watch a move without-without food!" Aria slowly maneuvers herself to the kitchen to her junk food pantry. "Whatdoyou want, Spencer?" she calls out.

"Uhmm…I waaaaant….Twizzlers. Gimmetwizzlers. If….ifwehaveany." Spencer jumbles out her request with no energy left to form correct and pronounced words.

Aria grabs the Twizzlers and bag of barbeque chips out the pantry and makes her way back to the couch. "Here," she throws without looking at Spencer. "Don't ask me for none of mines. 'Cuz it's mines. Only miiiines." Aria looks to Spencer, "Spencer? …. Spencer?"

Spencer is completely knocked out, faced down into the couch cushions.

"Speeeeencer!" Aria whines as she shakes the blacked out brunette. Just when she started to violently shake Spencer out of her sleep, an idea popped into her head with a sly smile spreading across her face.

*The movie Spencer reenacted was the iconic scene from the 1979 movie "Warriors". Arguably one of the most memorable scenes of all time because it was just so odd and creepy yet hilarious. It has been referenced and spoofed many, many times since then. I definitely recommend you looking up "Warriors, come out to play" on YouTube to see it for yourself!

DRUNK SPARIA, FTW!

I hope you guys enjoyed 3,500+ words of the drunk adventures of Aria Montgomery and Spencer Hastings or shall I say Sparia… Hastgomery.

Review, loves!