Author's Note:Hey thanks for all the support and reviews! Here's the next chapter where they'll be a confrontation and some suspicious notions.
Also, SPOILERS for Thomas Hardy's Tess of the D'Urbevilles. If you haven't read it - well it's an awesome book!
Enjoy and tell me what you think!
Chapter 11- Suspicious Minds
7:00pm
"So how was Aunt Rosamund today Georgina?" Mary asked passively at dinner.
Georgina toyed with the beans on her plate, her appetite wearing thin. "Fine." She answered coolly.
"Are you all right darling? You're not behaving like yourself," Matthew asked, resting down his fork and gazing upon his daughter with the utmost concern.
Georgina stretched her lips into a thin smile, "I'm just tired that's all."
"How come we don't get to see Aunt Rosamund anymore Papa?" Benjamin asked wistfully.
"Because it's too risky to travel up to London at the moment Benji," Matthew said softly.
"You let Georgina go." Benjamin pointed out quickly.
"That's because she's older."
"Is Aunt Rosamund coming for Christmas Mama?" Rebecca asked. Georgina tensed.
"Not sure, it depends on how she's feeling." Mary answered lightly.
"Edward said that she's gone mad!" Benjamin exclaimed with wide eyes.
"Well Edward should learn to keep his mouth shut," Mary snapped, glaring at her second son who looked down in shame.
"She's not mad Benji she's just – a bit confused that's all." Georgina said quietly.
"What do you mean by that?" Matthew asked with a frown.
"She means she belongs in the nuthouse!" Edward quipped.
"That's enough out of you!" Matthew scolded.
"No Papa, Edward's right," Georgina rested her cutlery down and sighed heavily. "I think she has gone a little mad. One minute she was talking to me like normal and then next minute she was talking to me thinking I was you Mama. She called me Mary and everything."
Mary exchanged a startled look with her husband while a smirking Edward let out a long whistle.
"She thought I was you?" Mary asked, puzzled.
"Well, she thought I was you – but yes, she thought we were the same person." Georgina answered sadly. "Mama what do we do?"
"Well there's nothing we can do." Mary replied casually, turning back to her food. "Mama said she was having turns but I didn't realize they were that serious."
"It is." Georgina said shortly.
"What's a turn?" Benjamin piped up.
"It means Aunt Rosamund's turning into monster!" Edward replied emphatically.
"Edward!" Mary and Matthew chided wearily.
Georgina had to practice a lot of self-control to stop herself from spilling out everything that had really happened.
"What else did she say?" Matthew asked curiously, his eyes glistening with concern. "Darling did she say something to offend you?"
Georgina stopped eating. She stared at her father longingly, desperately wanting to tell him everything. But she just couldn't do it. "No Papa. She didn't." And she went back to her food.
Later that night, Georgina thumbed through her photo album. She tried to decipher the meanings behind those warm and happy smiles which were spread across her parents faces. In almost every picture they cuddled their children closer and beamed adoringly at the camera or each other, no trace of any secrets, disdain or pretence whatsoever. It was all very confusing.
What if Aunt Rosamund had been lying? Was she really capable of such malice? Was her mother really that shallow to reject her father because he was middle-class? Whatever happened to marrying for love? They were married now and it might have happened a long, long time ago but it still happened…didn't it?
"But they're happy now," Georgina whispered to her fragile reflection. "Aren't they?"
Are they? An evil voice in the back of Georgina's mind, slithered towards the forefront. You've seen it yourself, they're arguing all the time now.
But that's only because they're worried about the war and Joseph.
Is it? Or maybe they've just lost the spark they once had. War is supposed to bring families together as well as push them apart. Maybe the flame that had been ignited between them at such a young age, has finally died out, maybe –
"Can you read me a story now?"
Georgina whipped around in surprise. Her building rage was interrupted by her little brother who was standing in the doorway clutching his storybook, beaming at her.
"Benji." Georgina hastily wiped away any stray tears.
"Why were you crying Georgie?" Benjamin asked worriedly, jumping onto his sister's bed. "Is it because Aunt Rosamund's mad?"
Georgina laughed wearily, "No. I'm just thinking about something she said that's all."
"What did she say?" Benjamin asked softly.
"She just doesn't understand the kind of world we live in now Benji," Georgina replied fiercely, "That's all."
"Benjamin Daniel Crawley!" Mary's indignant voice rang towards them, "I told you to pick up your toys off the staircase! Your father nearly tripped over them!"
Benjamin gasped. "Oh no Papa!" He took off running out of the room crying, "I'm sorry Papa, I didn't mean to hurt you!"
The mask slipped off. Georgina hurled herself on her bed and howled into her pillow, months of frustration, hurt and anger just came pouring out. She wept for her mother, her father, she wept for Joseph who was stuck at war, capable of death at any second, she cried for Tommy, for Edward, for Rebecca, for Benjamin and his innocence, she wept for her grandmother who had miscarried a son, she wept for her grandfather who was dead in the ground. Then finally she wept for her childhood and those precious memories which all seemed like a lie to her now.
Luckily her mother was there to rescue her from her tears before she could drown in them. Mary knocked softly on her door and opened it gently. She gazed at her daughter sniffling into her pillow.
March 14th 1929
Mary pushed open the playroom door and heard the little sniffles coming from behind the puppet show stand. She peeked through the cranberry curtain where she could just make out her daughter's ebony head leaning against the shelf.
"Georgina there you are!" Mary laughed, walking round the puppet show and kneeling down, "Why are you crying? We've all been so worried; you're Grandpa's ready to send out a search party!"
"I don't want to go out all right?" Georgina snapped, her blue eyes glaring at her mother like chips of eyes.
Mary pursed her lips to stop herself from laughing. Oh Georgina reminded her so much of herself at that age. "Why?"
"Edward pushed me over!" Georgina whined, "I was showing Papa my new ballet shoes and Edward snuck right up behind me and pushed me! And Papa just put him on the naughty step!"
"Is that all?" Mary asked with an arched brow.
"Yes," Georgina said sulkily, "I don't like him Mama! Can't we send him back?"
Mary chuckled, "No I'm afraid we can't. But I can make him say sorry. And he shan't have dessert after dinner tonight."
"I suppose that's fair," Georgina said wryly.
Mary ran her thumb over her daughter's cheek, "You shouldn't cry for such things Georgina, remember what I'm always telling you?"
"Proper ladies never cry for people who want to see them upset," Georgina said mechanically.
Mary nodded and kissed her cheek, "Come wipe your eyes," She wiped the tears away, "And let us compose ourselves, put on a smile and come downstairs."
"Georgina?" Mary whispered in alarm, "Darling." She sat on the edge of her daughter's bed and rested a hand on her shoulder. Georgina pushed herself up, squinting at her mother through her tears. Mary wiped her daughter's tears away, "What's wrong?"
"Oh Mama," Georgina sniffed, "I don't know what to do."
"About what?"
Mary was staring at her daughter with such love and concern, Georgina had to tear her eyes away. She couldn't look at her mother in the same way anymore. She didn't want to know if she had bedded someone else before her father; it was all in the past was it not? Surely she could forgive her mother, she owed it to her. But what if her father didn't know about it? Had her mother tricked him into marriage thinking it could secure her future? Oh who was she pretending, it would be eating away at her for the rest of her life if she didn't confront her mother now.
"Mama." Georgina whispered, "I have to ask you something. And I need you to tell me the truth – please."
"Of course!" Mary said in apprehension, she grasped her daughter's hand in reassurance. "Absolutely."
Georgina swallowed. Then plunged straight in. "Did you marry my father because he was the next heir and could protect your reputation after you sle – took a lover?"
Mary's eyes grew wide, her lips parted in shock at the words that just come out of her daughter's mouth. She knew, she knew, oh God she knew! Mary slid her hand out of her daughter's and looked away, the floor, the wall, the door – anywhere but at Georgina.
Georgina let her mother's hand slip out of hers, she raked her face for some kind of reaction. "Mama?" She prompted in a scared voice, her heartbeat quickening as her mother just remained in silence. "Mama?"
Mary still didn't answer. No, it couldn't be true. She had wanted her mother to deny it all to brush it off as utter fabrications and gossip.
"No of course it's not true, don't be so ridiculous Georgina!" Mary would snap. They would hug and everything would be back to the way it was.
Mary cleared her throat, still not maintaining eye contact with her daughter. Then very slowly, she licked her lips and said shaky yet cool voice, "Who told you such ghastly gossip?"
Georgina released a long held sigh before answering quietly, "Aunt Rosamund."
Mary laughed, her eyes glistening with tears, "Yes! Yes of course she would!" She stood up roughly and paced around the room, "She just can't leave the past where it is can she? As if I didn't have enough to worry about?"
Georgina stared at her. "Mama? You haven't answered the question! Is it true?"
"Of course it isn't true!" Mary yelled, tears spilling down her cheeks, "How can you – you my own daughter think it?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry!" Georgina cried, leaping off her bed and rushing to her mother. She threw her arms around her tightly, "I know Aunt Rosamund's mad but I didn't think she'd be evil enough to – to spread lies about you! I knew you'd never marry Papa for his title, or be with another man before him!"
Mary detached herself from her daughter quickly, pushing her at arm's length. Georgina held onto her mother in confusion. "Mama?"
Mary wrung her hands nervously, "That part – isn't entirely a lie." She said hesitantly.
Georgina's stomach plummeted. "Excuse me."
"It was a long time ago!" Mary protested, ignoring those stunned blue eyes that reminded her too much of Matthew's when she first told him all those years ago.
"Mama do you mean to say Aunt Rosamund was actually telling the – truth!" Georgina raged.
Mary groaned. "I was about your age, I was young, rebellious – oh God I know it's no excuse but it's all in the past." She smoothed her daughter's hair and said with reassurance, "Darling your father knows about it and he agrees that it's dead and buried. You, your brothers and sister were all born out of love – purely love, not duty, love!"
Georgina didn't know what to think, her mind was spinning. "Mama, Aunt Rosamund also said that you hesitated Papa's first proposal because Grandmama's baby might've been a boy. Is that true?"
"No." Mary said firmly, "I admit, I did have a few doubts but it was because Rosamund kept dripping all this – this poison into my ear!"
"I believe that." Georgina muttered.
"But I love your father and would've said yes in a heartbeat if I could have that time back." Mary said softly. "I promise you."
Georgina smiled thinly. It wasn't what she had expected but she could easily forgive her mother. What's past, was past and for the first time in her life, Georgina saw that her mother wasn't just a mother – she was a woman too.
"Mama why are we crying over this?" Georgina said with a grin, "What are you always telling me?"
"Proper ladies never cry over people who want to see them upset!" Mary and Georgina chorused, followed by a watery chuckle.
"So am I forgiven then?" Mary asked gently.
"Of course!" Georgina replied with sincerity and they embraced each other. She thought she heard the creak of footsteps hurrying away outside her room but saw no one there when she glanced at the door.
"Is that all that happened today?" Mary sniffed, rubbing her daughter's back tenderly.
Georgina bit her lip. She pulled herself away to face her mother with a troubled expression. "Well – actually Mama something else happened today which I - well I promised him I wouldn't say a word but -"
"Promised who?" Mary interrupted sharply, her dark eyes narrowing.
"Cousin Tommy," Georgina answered in a hushed voice.
"Tommy?" Mary repeated in an even lower voice, "As in our Tommy? Tommy from Ireland? Aunt Sybil's Tommy?"
"Yes!" Georgina said emphatically, "I saw him on the platform in London when I was leaving. I couldn't believe my eyes! I ran up to him and hugged him but - Mama he seemed so different."
"Different how?" Mary asked worriedly.
"Well I invited him up here for dinner tonight but he was dead set against it. He doesn't want anyone to know he was in London."
"Why is he in London?" Mary asked in a voice close to hysteria. "Is he – is he on leave, is he visiting a friend there, what?"
"Well – he said that he was there on war business." Georgina said incredulously.
"War business?" Mary reiterated sceptically, "What kind of war business?"
"I don't know but he also said something about Uncle Tom throwing him out of the house." Georgina replied hesitantly.
"What?" Mary gasped, "Sybil never said anything to me about that. When was this?"
Georgina shrugged, "Not sure. But he was very closed up about things. He seemed so distant Mama. I was thinking about calling or writing a letter to Cousin Siobhan and asking if she knows what's been going on in that house or what Tommy's been up to. She's bound to know why Uncle Tom threw her brother out, isn't she? If Aunt Sybil won't say anything I'm sure Siobhan will. We've always been close, she'll tell me."
"She will but that might not be enough. We need a higher power than Siobhan." Mary growled, rising from the bed and storming out of the room. Georgina cursed herself and scampered after her mother.
Rebecca Crawley sat in her favourite armchair in the library with 'Tess of the D'Urbeville's' open on her lap. She stared blankly at the first page, thinking of her parents. Rebecca had always sought comfort in the library. She had read every single book on the shelf. It was her haven.
Tonight it was the first place she headed to after hearing what she did. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop on her mother and sister but she was on her way, returning Georgina's perfume when she had heard her sister ask if their mother had married their father for protection after she had bedded someone else. At first Rebecca was stunned, she felt as though someone were choking her. It was one thing to hear such a statement but it was another thing entirely to hear her mother admit to it!
Rebecca desolately turned the first page over. It was the first title she thought of after hearing her mother's sordid confession. Georgina might've forgiven her but Rebecca didn't know if she could. Right now she felt as though she were living a lie.
The door creaked open, followed by the soft entrance of her father, newspaper cluctched under his arm. Rebecca's heart broke for him. He was a good man and she couldn't understand how he could be so forgiving towards her mother even if it meant she wouldn't have been born. Now she thinks that would've been for the best.
"Becky," He exclaimed in surprise as he saw her seated there. He sauntered towards her with a knowing smile,"Ah. What book are we re-reading tonight then?"
"Tess of the D'Urbevilles," Rebecca said pointedly, searching her father's face carefully for his reaction, "It's one of my favourites."
Matthew's smile wavered. "Is it? I didn't know that. I thought you were more of a Dickens or Gaskell or Austen fan than a Hardy supporter."
"Oh no Papa, I think I've changed my mind," Rebecca said indifferently, ruffling the pages in front of him, "You see - I've recently become quite attached to Thomas Hardy's novels. All the female protagonists remind me of myself, what with us living in the country."
"But - but surely you don't - see yourself as..." Matthew indicated the book on Rebecca's lap without finishing his sentance. He couldn't.
"Not Tess in particular," Rebecca said innocently shutting her book, "But you see it wasn't her fault that Alec took advantage of her. Angel was quite harsh to just reject her like that when he claimed to love her, especially after he had just recited 'for better or for worse!'" Matthew shamefully glanced at the floor. "But," Rebecca watched her father closely, "He forgave her in the end."
"Yes he did." Matthew whispered, kneeling down in front of her. "But it was too late. And you must never, never leave things till the last minute if you ever want to make amends because sometimes it can affect a person's entire destiny. Understand?" He spoked with such sincerity it was hard for Rebecca to try and coax the truth out of him.
She wanted to scream, "Why did you take her back? She betrayed you!" But she couldn't.
"I hope Benji wasn't too upset about his toy soldiers," Rebecca said cautiously, desperately wishing to change the subject. "All though it is his own fault, he shouldn't have left them strewn about next to the staircase!"
Matthew gave his daughter a weary smile and squeezed her hand, "Well I promised him I'd glue them together tomorrow."
"I heard him crying." Rebecca said awkwardly.
"Yes I had to read Peter Rabbit to him until my throat was hoarse!" Matthew said deeply followed by a tired laugh. He pinched the bridge of his nose, "If it's not one child it's another."
"MATTHEW!" Mary bellowed.
"Or your mother," Matthew added lightly, standing up and bracing himself as Mary barged straight into the library with his daughter trailing close behind her.
"Mama!" Georgina yelled, "I promised Tommy I wouldn't say anything?"
"Tommy?" Edward said quickly, catching on to the name on his way past the library. He stumbled into the room looking concerned, "What about him, is he all right?"
"Georgina has something to say." Mary said coolly without looking at anyone.
Matthew smiled in confusion at his daughter. "Georgina?"
Georgina sighed heavily and retold the whole story again, for the benefit of her father and brother. "And so when I asked him up for dinner he was terrified of anyone finding out he was there." She finished in a timid voice.
"It's certainly very odd," Matthew said with a frown, "I don't know what kind of war business he could be up to other than leave."
"But why didn't he just say that to her then?" Edward asked harshly, "He's hiding something."
Mary released a horrified gasp, "Oh God Matthew… has he gone AWOL?"
"No!" Matthew answered uncertainly, "He – he…" Matthew couldn't find the right words. He remembered the amount of times when he himself had been on the brink of running away and never coming back. He wouldn't blame Tommy if he did.
"That's it, I'm calling Sybil!" Mary declared defiantly, darting to the phone.
"Papa!" Georgina moaned desperately prompting Matthew to reach over and clap his hand tightly over his wife's on the receiver.
"Mary," He said in a warning but gentle voice, "Let's just think about this first."
"There's nothing to think about Matthew," Mary hissed, "If our nephew's gone AWOL it's a criminal offence, which makes him a fugitive, which involves my sister, which makes it our responsibility. So let go of my hand and let me call her!"
"Mary, Tommy might not be AWOL." Matthew said pointedly, "I'll admit there is something wrong about the way he fobbed Georgina off but just let me find out what I can before we start worrying Sybil."
Mary relented, allowing her husband to move her hands off the receiver. "Fine." She whispered. "Who are you going to talk to?"
Matthew glanced at his children who were staring intently at them before saying calmly, "You know the – the people who I have been in cahoots with about the secret operation over in Crawley House?"
Mary nodded, "Do you think they might know?"
"I'll ask them about Ireland. And what's going on over there. I won't mention Tommy's name but I can find out about the Irish soldiers." Matthew promised. "As conscription is voluntary – it shouldn't be too hard to narrow them down."
"All right." Mary rubbed her forehead tiredly, "I just hope this turns out to be a big misunderstanding."
"Do you think that's why he's in trouble?" Rebecca asked anxiously, "Because he voluntarily joined on behalf of us?"
"It would be horrible if that were the case," Mary breathed, "And even more beastly of Tom to throw him out for risking his life!"
"I think we're just overreacting." Edward said offhandedly, lazily flinging himself down on the couch. "Maybe Tommy really is on leave but he's living in some dingy little boarding house in the East End somewhere. And he didn't want to tell Georgina because he was embarrassed." He turned to his sister with an arched brow, "I mean you did invite him back to this great palace!"
"And asking me to keep our meeting a secret?" Georgina shot back, crossing her arms and glaring at her brother. "What was that all about?"
"Well maybe he didn't want Grandmama summoning him up here on his time off," Edward said thinly, "I mean Joe did it. Why can't he."
The room fell awkwardly quiet.
"You're right Edward." Mary said with a light smile, "Maybe I'm just – paranoid."
Matthew pulled her close, "You're worried about your nephew as if he were your own son. I love Tommy too and would protect him any way I can. But maybe he's living in London and was there on leave and seemed embarrassed of his living conditions."
"Well he shouldn't be." Mary sniffed. "He is still a Crawley. He has as much a right to live here as our children do."
"I know but Tom doesn't seem to think so." Matthew replied quietly. "He made his feelings perfectly clear last summer, when the war seemed inevitable."
Edward laughed out loud, "Now that was after-dinner entertainment! Papa and Uncle Pete on one end of the table with Uncle Tom on the other asking them to step outside!"
Matthew closed his eyes and sighed in exhaution at his son's inconsideration.
"You didn't have to encourage it!" Georgina retorted sharply.
Edward held his hands up in defeat. Mary smiled at her youngest daughter who was still curled up in the armchair.
"Rebecca sweetheart don't you think it's time for bed?" She asked sweetly.
Rebecca picked up her book and turned to her father. "Goodnight Papa," She said warmly. Rebecca then gazed at her mother with a glazed look."Goodnight Mama." She said coldly before marching out of the library, leaving her bewildered parents to stare after her.
"So do you really think Tommy will be all right?" Mary asked anxiously as Matthew crawled into bed beside her, "Because I can still call Sybil."
Matthew kissed her head. "I will talk to some people and get some information on Tommy's whereabouts. I might not be a General but I do know people."
"Ah yes, that operation at Crawley House," Mary said with a small smile, "And are we going to find out what this operation is going to be anytime soon?"
"Not yet." Matthew replied with a smirk, "But I promise you after Christmas I'll tell you everything."
Mary shifted herself up onto her elbow so she could see her husband better, "But why Crawley House though? Why not here, there's enough room!"
Matthew gave her a hollow laugh, "I don't think so. Not what we have planned."
Mary frowned, "What do you have planned?"
Her husband smiled sneakily and tapped his nose. Mary sighed. Men and their secrets. All she could think of that night was Tommy. He could very well be on leave, living in London during his time fighting, it would certainly make sense. However she still couldn't ignore the morsel of instinct which was screaming that something was wrong. Very wrong.
To Be Continued...