CrashIntoMe: Chapter11

The warm morning sun poked its way into Bella's room waking her from the peace she had finally found in slumber. The moment she arose from bed her neck throbbed. Over night the bruises had blackened further. Just by looking at the image that stared back at her from the mirror Bella knew that no amount of make-up would hide them. She started to cry softly as her eyes were fixated on her reflection. There was no way she could go to school. How was she supposed to hide this? And the story she had concocted yesterday wouldn't never pass muster with the clear outline of a hand print in the bruises. Dressing quickly Bella headed out before Maria arrived back from her weekend with her family.

Bella had no idea where she was going. Suddenly she felt helpless, confused and utterly lost. This wasn't the first time she had been forced to hide Riley's bruises, but it was the first time she was forced to relive the event each and every time she looked at herself in a mirror.

How on earth had she allowed herself to get caught up in all of this? She knew – Riley had played a part and she fell for it until it had been too late to get out. At the start he had been the perfect gentleman. Anything Bella wanted he had done. Flowers, candy, concerts – Riley was so attentive, so protective, however; eventually his true self slowly crept out.

She had let herself be convinced that somehow everything Riley did was her fault. He would tell her how much he loved her, how he didn't want to lose her. But in reality all he was doing was controlling her and he was still doing that very thing to this day. The stunt in the park proved it in spades. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to end this? Riley wasn't about to take no for an answer.

Maybe Alice was right, perhaps she should talk to Carlisle. That thought frightened her. She could only imagine what he would think of her. Knowing who her mother was how could he even begin to understand the place she had ended up? At one time Bella had been a take charge kind of person so how did she end up being nothing more than a victim? Someone who let the man who claimed to love her, abuse her. As disappointed as she was in herself, Bella couldn't wrap her mind around what her mother must have thought of her looking down on her daughter from heaven.

Bella was crying so hard now she had to pull over to the side of the road. She missed her mom so much. Right now she needed Renee more than she ever had before. Bella longed to feel her mother's arms around her, telling her that everything was going to be all right.

"I need you," she sighed laying her head against the steering wheel. "I need your guidance. Things are such a mess right now," she cried again, "I am such a screw up mom. God, how I miss you!" A knock on the side window of her car, startled her. She looked up to see Edward Masen peering in at her. Quickly she wiped away her tears before putting the window down. "Hey," she said weakly.

"What are you doing here?" he quizzed noticing her tear soaked face.

Bella looked around to see that she was parked near Port Angeles High School. Embarrassed she answered, "To be honest I don't have a clue. I was just driving around."

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"I could say the same for you," Bella quickly retorted.

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday I only have classes half day then I go over to Hampton House to work for Carlisle. Okay warden?" he teased surprised that his defensive nature hadn't gotten the best of him.

"I'm sorry," Bella replied.

"Forget it. Are you okay?"

"Yes…no…who the hell knows. It's been a lousy day so far."

"You want to head to the center with me?" Edward asked with a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Bella paused for a moment, "I'd like that."

"Think you could give me a lift?" Edward asked sheepishly.

"Oh I get it, you just needed a ride." Bella grinned in his directions suddenly feeling a little light hearted.

"No, no that's okay then," Edward said backing away from the car hands in the air as though someone had a gun trained on him.

"Come on, get it," she made her best attempt at sounding nonchalant.

The easy exchange between the two was a welcome change for both of them. The was the first time all morning Bella even felt like smiling and for Edward he hadn't had this easy banter in more years than he could count.

They rode the half mile to the center in sudden awkward silence both wanting to speak but neither knowing where to begin. To her amazement, Bella was finally starting to relax. It was bizarre the calming effect that Edward had over her. The self doubts that had been colliding in her brain before vanished. It was though everything else in the world had fallen away, leaving only her and Edward.

"So what were you really doing outside of my high school?" Edward asked gaining what little toughness he could wield around her.

"I really don't know," she answered honestly. "I just started driving and I ended up here."

"You were crying when I came up to the car," he said starting to finally believe that she wasn't part of some bigger plot Carlisle had against him. "You want to talk?" As the words rolled off his tongue, Edward did a double take in the rear view mirror just to be sure he was really doing the talking.

The softness in his voice had Bella wanting to tell him everything. "I was just thinking about my mom. She died a few years ago. I miss her. Sometimes I wish that things in my life were different. I keep thinking that if she were still here they be. I guess I was just asking for some divine intervention," Bella laughed at the thought.

"I can get that," Edward offered. "My parents died when I was twelve. I wonder what my life would be life if they were still alive. It would have to be better than what it is; at least I hope it would be."

"I'm sorry." Bella felt an instant rush of empathy for him.

"No big deal." The armor plating went up. "It's the hand I was dealt."

It was then that Bella heard the coldness in his voice. It was that coldness that brought about an urge in Bella to lean in and kiss him softly. To tell him that life sucked and she understood yet she hung back. Both of their lived were far too complicated already. She didn't know if either of them could handle anymore, but the thing that was drawing her to him kept pulling her closer. "We're here," she announced.

"I'd better get inside and get to work," Edward said jumping out of the car as quickly as he had gotten in. "Carlisle's probably wondering where I am."

"Catch you later?"

"Maybe," he offered. The harshness of his tone stunned her. Minutes ago she had felt they were forging a friendship and now she wasn't so sure. The whole encounter had left her downright confused.

Edward kicked himself as he made his hasty exit. The question as to why he pushed Bella away just now ran circles in his head. He stole a backward glance at her. There was no mistaking the hurt he saw in her expression, but he kept running, running was Edward Masen's specialty.

The voice inside of him echoed how special he already knew she was. He had an overwhelming sense that she needed someone in her life as badly as he did. She needed a person to listen to her and he just trashed that in an instant. Yet he was scared, scared to get too close, scared of his life spilling over into hers. His life with Caius was very ugly and even though Edward didn't know her whole story he did know that she had ugliness of her own to deal with. So why should he add to it? The bottom line to the struggle waging inside his soul was he was falling hard and fast for Bella Swan and that thought terrified him.

To say she was perplexed by Edward's abrupt change in mood was an understatement. Closing the car door behind her, she headed inside. The center was quiet as most of the participants were still at school. She made her way to the file room and pulled out Edward's folder wanting to get to know more about the guy that occupied the bulk of her thoughts. She began reading some of the most recent additions.

Entry #3
Edward arrived here at 1:00. He was stoned even though he
refused to admit it. I could tell he had been crying. After
long periods of strained silence he told me that Caius
kicked him out the night before. I asked him why. He was
silent again finally saying that they argued about his parents.
Caius told him to stop whining about them that they were dead
and took a swing at him. After that Edward fell silent again. So
I brought him to my place for dinner. We both fell asleep watching
baseball and when I woke up he was gone.

Entry #4
I haven't heard from Edward in over three days. I have to admit
that I am beyond worried about him. The other night was the first
time I have ever seen him break down with regards to losing his
parents. I want to believe it was a breakthrough for us but now
I am not so sure. There is something happening in his life right
now, I just wish he would let me in to help.

Entry #5
The police found Edward for me. Their report said that he'd been
snorting cocaine. He had been beaten pretty badly. I assumed
that Caius was responsible. Edward wouldn't talk about it. I squared
things away with the police through Detective Cheney, Edward is
skating on thin ice. He spent the next few days at the center.

Entry #6
Edward has retreated inside himself all over again. Each time
we make a few steps forward there are always a dozen back.
This is Edward's last shot to make this work for him or I have no
other choice but to turn him over to the juvenile authorities.

That's where the entries ended. It was just about a week ago. Bella was confused because what she just read and the guy she had just been talking to didn't mesh in the least bit. It was like they were two totally different people. Sure, there was no denying that Edward indeed had given her mixed signals moments ago but he didn't seem to be withdrawn.

Walking out of the file room, Bella caught sight of Edward heading into Carlisle's office. She was torn. Should she wait for him or leave? Truthfully she had her own life to deal with and was unsure that she needed anymore drama than she already had. But she was unable to stop the disappointment that slowly seeped into her bones. Earlier she had felt the strongest connection to another person she ever had before. She thought that they were good for one another, hell even had a few things in common. But now she was less than sure and it saddened her. Bella's feelings for Edward had been growing by leaps and bounds even if she had chosen to deny their happening.

She looked down at her watch. It was nearing four o'clock in the afternoon. The realization that she had spent the entire day longing for two people she could never have, her mother and Edward. Again she was consumed by such sorrow. Before there was an opportunity to run into him again, Bella mad a hasty exit from the center.

"Bella, Rosalie's been calling you all day long," Maria greeted her with a concerned look. "she said you that you never met her at school today. Is something wrong?"

"No, why?"

"She had me worried about you. She sounded like she thought something happened to you."

"I'm fine," Bella said fingering the scarf that strategically hid the bruises on her neck. "I must have forgotten to tell her I had to finish up some research for our paper."

"She sounded pretty concerned," Maria pressed sensing the girl she had known since she was a baby was being less than truthful.

"You know Rose. She's the queen of drama." With that remark Bella remembered that auditions for 'WEST SIDE STORY' were this afternoon at five o'clock. "Oh my gosh," she said.

"What?" Maria questioned.

"I totally forgot about the play. If I hurry maybe I can still make it on time. Be back later," Bella stated running out the door as fast as she had come in.

Bella headed over to the theater. Part of her was petrified at the mere thought of running into Riley but she was doing what she could to stay true to her resolve to reclaim her life. She'd be damned if Riley Biers was going to stop her from performing in this year's play.

The room was dark and quiet. Jessica and Eric were on stage auditioning the required scene. Bella took a seat closest to the door and waited for her turn. She tried to spot Rosalie in the darkened room but was having very little luck with the task. She sat quietly watching each performance.

Bella was lost in thought when she finally heard her name being called. Instantly she was sick to her stomach when she saw Riley already on stage. Images of his hands against her throat came flooding back. Bella willed herself to move forward her legs like lead weights as she eventually made her way on stage.

"Alright, we will be reading from Act 2 Scene 4. Riley you can start reading anytime," Miss James instructed.

Riley began rendering himself to the part of Tony. The sweet words of the play were nothing like the person speaking them. Bella was barely able to speak her lines when it came time. She couldn't imagine playing this romantic scene with him. Her words were harsh and expressed hate than the love that Maria was to feel for Tony. They were desperate star crossed lovers, more like her and Edward not this monster in front of her. "Miss James, could we start over please?" Bella asked stopping her dialogue in mid sentence.

"I suppose. Is there a problem Miss Swan?"

"No not really. I just finally found my inspiration."

"Fine. Start at the top again."

On this run through Bella imaged the boy standing before her was not Riley Biers but the incredibly handsome Edward Masen. Bella found herself at the end of the scene kissing Riley the way she had longed to kiss Edward earlier that day. It had been effortless. She was starring into those piercing green eyes that belonged only to Edward. Riley Biers was the furthest thing from her mind.

Riley was taken aback by the intensity of their kiss. He was so glad he had connived his was into getting to audition with Bella. If she had known what he had done he was sure she wouldn't have gotten on stage with him, yet she kissed him with such passion. He was certain all was forgiven.

"Thank you both," Miss James said, "I will have the cast list posted once all of the auditions have concluded.

Bella walked off the opposite side of the stage as Riley. No matter how it had looked up there she never the less wanted nothing to do with him. Unfortunately Riley had other plans. He had seen that kiss as an open invitation. Quickly he raced up the isle to catch up with her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"What do you want?" she questioned, long gone was the sweet innocent Maria she had played minutes earlier.

"Can we talk?"

"About?"

"Hey what gives?" His confusion was evident. Riley didn't know what to make of the sudden antagonism.

"What do you mean?" Bella was annoyed by this entire conversation. On the stage she had made up her mind that it was time to talk, really talk to Edward and Riley was just getting in the way of her getting to Hampton House.

"That kiss you gave me back there, and now you're acting all mad. What the hell is going on?"

"I was acting Riley. Up on that stage I was acting but this – here and now isn't acting."

"This doesn't make any sense."

"Oh really?" she mocked.

"How could you have kissed me like that and have just been acting? We have history together. You can't expect me to think that it didn't mean anything."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but you most definitely got the wrong idea."

"Come on Bella, you know that I love you. You mean everything to me." Riley's voice was soft and caring, but Bella wasn't buying it this time. She wasn't about to be taken in. She needed to be free of him for good this time.

"Yeah, you love me alright," Bella untied the scarf from around her neck to reveal the bruises. "If this is what you do to people you love than I would hate to see what happens to those you don't," she said with a dead pan face.

What he saw didn't faze Riley in the least. It was almost as though he expected to see them. It wasn't the first time that he had seen bruises. He watched his father keep his mother in line that way when he was much younger. Mrs. Biers had finally understood her place and his father no longer needed to handle things in that manner. Riley knew that Bella would come to know that also. He would do what it took to make her see her place and to keep her there. Far too many times already she had made him look like a fool without action on his part. It was time to let her know who was in charge.

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly, "What do you want me to say?"

Bella was stunned. She had actually expected him to apologize for what he had done to her. Yet there wasn't even so much as a trace of remorse. "How about an I'm sorry?" she spat at him.

Before he was even able to respond Bella pushed the heavy door open walking out of the theater.

Riley resisted the urge to follow her. A new plan forming in his head, a better way to get her back and then teach her what it truly meant to be his lady. This would work out better, much better he thought as he looked on at her retreating frame.