A/N: Hello lovelies! I hope you're enjoying all of this angst and drama because I sure am loving writing it! Review and let me know your thoughts, ideas, and most of all...your feels! Thank you all so much for your continued support as it means a lot to me as the writer.
Of all the things Lexie Grey had been prepared for, having Mark Sloan ambush her here in Boston was the very last thing she had expected. So as she went into the surgery that afternoon, she was still reeling from him being here, the scorching kiss they had shared, and that he now knew her secret about their son. All of the feelings she had been repressing for months were crashing into her, but she focused all of that energy into the surgery for a few hours. For those few hours, she was one with her mind and the surgery until they finished and she scrubbed out as the patient was being closed up.
Lexie left and went to the locker room to change, lifting off her scrub top before looking down at her stomach. It had grown considerably in the twelve weeks since she really found out about her pregnancy, requiring her to get the scrub pants with the elastic waistband for now, at least until she was further along and would require actual maternity scrubs. Her plan was to work up until she couldn't operate anymore and was put on desk duty until her delivery. And after, she was taking six weeks off maternity leave for her baby before coming right back to work. But for now, she was just enjoying the little things about her pregnancy. The baby was moving around again and she pressed her hand to her bump and smiled a little.
"Alright little one," she said, taking a deep breath. "Let's go see your father."
Her regular clothing were more comfortable as she pulled her jeans back on and slipped her shirt on over her belly, smoothing out the fabric so it sat correctly against her stomach. She had already had to invest in a few maternity tops since her stomach had grown considerably in the last few weeks. Once she was dressed, she stepped into her ballet flats and grabbed her bag before going out toward the front of the hospital, just outside. Mark was already waiting there for her as she approached him.
"Hey," she breathed, still trying to fathom that he was really here in Boston to see her.
"How was your surgery?" he asked, as if nothing had passed between them and they were still the same people they had been in Seattle. That seemed like a lifetime ago.
"It was good…success actually," she replied, holding the strap of her bag against her shoulder.
Mark smiled a little. "Where to now?"
"I was thinking we could go back to my place so no one can pry into our business and we can really talk," Lexie suggested. She just wanted it to be just them so they could have a real discussion about all of this.
"That sounds good…lead the way and I'll follow."
Walking from the front of the hospital, Lexie lead him to the parking lot and her car before getting in on the driver's side. The drive back to her place was relatively quiet as she couldn't think of what to really say to him right now that wouldn't come out wrong or as another long ramble where she spewed out all of her feelings at once. So the silence stayed between them until they arrived at her place and went up to her apartment.
"I know it's not much, but it's home," she explained as she opened the door and came inside, letting him follow her in.
Mark let out a laugh. "You forget, I used to live in a hotel room for several months."
The thought of that room made her smile because it was where they had begun. Where they had become Mark and Lexie, despite all of Derek's requests for him to stay away from her because she was Meredith Grey's little sister. But they never listened, at least then they hadn't. Yet they were a far cry from the couple they had been back then, when things were simple, like sneaking around and getting Mark in and out of Meredith's attic. Now things were so much more complicated and Lexie wasn't sure how they had gotten so lost from who they used to be.
"Well at least this place has a real, functional kitchen. I can't complain much otherwise." Dumping her purse, she walked further in and turned around to face him in the middle of her living room. "I have a few things to show you."
Going over to the bookshelf in the corner of the living room, Lexie got a box down before coming over to sit on the couch, motioning for Mark to join her. When he did, she took off the lid to the decorated box and pulled out a stack of photos. Every single one of her ultrasounds were in there, in order from the beginning of her pregnancy until now. She held them out to him.
"All the ultrasounds are there, from the very first one I had until the most recent from two days ago," she told him.
Mark looked through them slowly, seeing their son for the first time. His features softened and Lexie could see how much he loved him already. For all of his faults, Mark really did have an wonderful heart that she always knew was there, right from the start. Beneath the brooding and sarcastic demeanor that he always wore was a heart of gold that cared for others deeply once you were in his life.
"He…he is amazing, Lex," he murmured, still looking at the photos in his hands.
"He really is," she agreed with a smile as she rested one hand on her bump.
"That day we talked on the video chat…you were already…" he trailed off.
"I had just found out he was a boy that day," she said, feeling a strong kick from her son that send her hand up slightly.
"I've missed so much," he said sadly, looking up at her. "But I don't want to miss anymore."
Lexie nodded, feeling guilty that she had to keep this from him for so long because of all the things that both of them were going through. "I…I also took pictures of my stomach every week so you could see the changes."
Handing him those pictures, she let him look them over as well. Each one was labeled with the date and the week of her pregnancy. She had done it mostly for him, but also planned on making an album of her pregnancy later on when she had time, between work and getting ready for the baby's arrival.
"You look beautiful," he said as he looked at the most recent picture last and then up at her.
Blush rushed to her cheeks. Mark Sloan always had this effect on her and she couldn't figure out why he was the only one. "Thanks."
"So what happens now?" he asked, keeping his eyes on hers.
"I have one more thing to show you," she replied, ignoring his question before taking out a DVD from the box and getting up to put it in.
She turned on the television and began to play her most recent ultrasound for him on the screen. You could clearly see their son's facial profile and his little hands moving around by his face. Lexie sat back down and watched as Mark was captivated by their son on the screen. It went through all the measurements for him and showed his boy parts again, which Mark grinned at and Lexie couldn't help but laugh since he murmured something about him being a Sloan for sure. But at the end of the video, it paused on the beating heart of their son. There was a tear in the corner of his eye by the end of the whole video.
"He is just…really something, Lex," he said, glancing over at her. "And I want to be there for you and for him."
"I want you to be in his life and I would never deny you that because you're his father," Lexie added quickly. "We can figure out something that would work for all of us."
"Or you could move back home to Seattle," he refuted just as quickly, repeating his earlier sentiment to her.
Lexie sighed and shook her head. "Mark, we've been through this. I'm not moving back to Seattle. I just got settled here and this is my home now."
His resolve was legendary, so she knew he would keep trying but she would not give in again to Mark Sloan. Not this time.
"But this is my kid and I don't want to be the holiday only dad that sees him once or twice a year!" he yelled sharply.
Her heart sank and she shrank back for a moment not expecting him to yell at her like that. Though she was still firm about not moving, she could see how much it upset him because he wanted to be active in their son's life. And she could never fault him for that because he would be there for their son as the father he deserved.
"I know…I just can't uproot my life again," she said softly, looking down at her stomach. "He needs stability and we've had that here."
Mark sighed deeply, holding the photos in his lap. "You're as stubborn as ever, Little Grey."
That much she knew was true, especially now that her hormones were making her meaner than she ever was before she was pregnant. Most everyone knew to avoid her on her bad days and to treat her with a little leeway when she was in a crying at the drop of a hat mood.
After a moment of awkward silence, she stood up. "I…should get some sleep. And so should you. The um…couch pulls out into a bed and the extra sheets are in the closet."
With a nod, Lexie left Mark and went to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Tears were already forming in her eyes as she leaned against the door and held her hands on her stomach. Everything hitting her at once, she felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks as she let go of her self-control. She was still angry at Mark on some level because of the guilt he was laying on her about moving back to Seattle. And also because, if she was honest with herself, she still loved him. But she had gone down that road twice before, only to get burned both times because she had trusted him with her heart.
Pushing herself away from the door once she had calmed down a little, she began to get ready for bed. She pulled out her pajama pants and changed into those before grabbing a grey shirt. The material was soft and familiar as she pulled it on, stretching it over her distended belly. She had kept this grey shirt for years…since her first night with Mark when he answered the door wearing it and she commandeered it later on. Now it rested snugly against her stomach where she was carrying their baby. Lexie climbed into her ed and curled onto her side, suddenly wishing she had Mark to hold her.