There's way too many goddamn people crammed into Rocket Man's single cabin, Zoro thinks irritably as he attempts to peel off his wet shirt without accidentally smashing an elbow into somebody's face. The Sea Train sways dangerously as the tracks curve through another wave, far smaller than the one he and Luffy just blasted a passage through but still impressive enough to send everyone scrambling to keep their footing, and the swordsman's forced to duck to avoid being sideswiped by the ridiculous hair of a Square Sister.
Yes, it's entirely too crowded, he muses as he glances down at his captain, who's hopping madly on one foot as he fights to yank up his new shorts. As usual, Luffy's forgone the inconvenience of undergarments, and his bare ass is sticking out below the hem of his vest.
Zoro's fingers twitch as he wads his shirt into a dripping ball and tosses it aside without looking, drawing a cry of protest from Chopper when it lands on the reindeer's head and promptly gets tangled in his antlers, but the swordsman doesn't notice.
The train lurches again, sending Luffy stumbling against him, and the older pirate instinctively reaches out with steadying hands. He tenses, a faint grunt escaping his throat, as his captain's fingers knot in his haramaki as the younger man struggles to keep his balance.
He steals a surreptitious glance about them, smirking when he sees that Nami's providing a welcome distraction as she searches for an unoccupied corner to change, resolutely ignoring the wolf whistles and excited urging to "take it off!" from the men nearby as well as Paulie's red-faced distress.
"Commando again, eh?" Zoro murmurs as he drops into a crouch, arms encircling his captain's waist as he tugs the rubber man's shorts into place, and if his fingers linger slightly longer than necessary, neither of them are complaining.
"Yep," Luffy grins cheekily, peering down at him. "Don't really see the point when Zoro's just taking them off all the time anyway."
The swordsman's eyes darken, and when the locomotive seesaws again, he uses it as an excuse to nuzzle his face against the younger pirate's stomach as he fastens the button under his chin with trembling fingers, because he wants very, very badly to tear his captain's clothing loose and wipe that smug look off his face.
Luffy laughs, his voice holding a note of frustration, because he's recognized and shares the tension gripping his lover. Their opponent might have been nothing more than the ocean itself, but he's a bit high on adrenaline from their combined attack, and he's well aware that a good fight - especially one where they've stood side-by-side - always super-charges the other man's libido.
"Want you," Zoro growls softly, face hidden against him, and the captain inhales sharply because his swordsman's breath feels hot against his skin through his damp vest.
"Later," Luffy promises, stroking fingers through green hair. "After we get Robin back."
They're starting to draw attention from those around them, and while he certainly doesn't mind, he knows Zoro gets strangely bashful about these things, so he nudges the older man's shoulder with his knee. "Oi, better finish getting dressed."
"Oi~ whatcha doin'?" A voice squeals suddenly in the swordsman's ear, and he jumps, arms pin-wheeling as he abruptly releases his grip on Luffy only to lose his balance and fall on his rear. He glares up at Chimney, who takes one look at his annoyed expression and bursts into high-pitched giggles, speeding off while her cat-rabbit thing in tow.
The captain's snickering as he watches Zoro, grimacing, roll to his feet, because it's not often that someone actually succeeds in sneaking up on the swordsman, although the way the older pirate's trying to yank his haramaki lower to hide the distinct bulge in his trousers might have something to do with it.
"Got a problem?"
"Laugh all you want now, 'cause later I'm gonna pound you 'til you can't walk."
He speaks a little louder than he intended, prompting hearty laughter from Kokoro, who's been watching them from her bench seat, and the older woman utters a lewd comment that makes both men flush, favoring them with a sly wink before tilting back her half-empty bottle.
Bristling, the color in his face deepening because the conductor's granddaughter has returned and is now bouncing excitedly at his side, asking at the top of her not-inconsiderable lungs if Kaizoku Nii-chan is his boyfriend, Zoro grabs for the nearest unclaimed clothing.
Luffy, laughing uproariously at his scowling face, breaks off to peer inquisitively at his new attire, admiring the way the jacket frames the older pirate's bare chest. He's amused but not surprised when the swordsman leaves it unzipped, considering he never bothers buttoning his shirts either.
"Frickin' god-awful color-" Zoro mutters as he reties his bandana around his bicep. "-kinda like that hideous shirt the damn eyebrow cook's wearing. But at least it fits."
His pants and boots, although soaked and making small squelching noises every time he moves, will have to do. He's got no intention of showing everybody that he's capable of practicing four-sword style at the moment, especially not with the kid hanging around.
"Mmm, I like it," his captain disagrees cheerfully, wrapping his fists in the jacket's lapels so he can yank the older man's head down. "Zoro's got handles."
"Oi, what are y-" His protest is muffled by Luffy's mouth, and there's surprised laughter and several cat calls from nearby Franky Family members. Chimney skips away giggling and singing gleefully about kissing pirates, nearly colliding with Paulie's legs as he comes stomping in their direction.
"Mugiwara, you better tell that navigator of yours that her behavior is- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"
"Oh, is she done changing already?" Luffy asks, one hand still gripping his stunned swordsman by the collar as he absentmindedly strokes his fingers down the older pirate's scarred chest, peering past the fuming, blushing shipwright. "Oi, Nami, that looks cool!"
"Thanks, L-" The red-head glances up from where she's making a few final adjustments to her Clima-Tact. "Luffy, why is Zoro turning purple?"
"What-" Paulie demands, teeth grinding so violently that they nearly bite straight through his cigar. "-is wrong with your crew? You're all a bunch of immoral-"
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes m-"
"See, see that? You're already corrupting the next generation!"
"I don't think that kid's got the best role model to begin with," Zoro mutters, endeavoring to wrestle himself free from his captain's firm grip so he can slink off to find somewhere to hide and die of embarrassment in peace. Unfortunately, there isn't actually anywhere to go, unless-
"Uhm, honey, I really don't think it works that way." Nami pats Chimney's head, struggling valiantly not to laugh, as the younger girl wraps an arm around her leg and chants loudly about baby carriages.
Mozu and Kiwi nudge each other. "They're cute together, aren't they?" "Very cute, yes."
"HAHA, LOOK, LULU, THAT GUY DIDN'T BREAK A SWEAT FACING AQUA LAGUNA BUT NOW HE'S BLUSHING!"
"Not so loud, Tilestone, or he'll hear you."
"-horribly depraved-!"
"Oi, Roronoa, so if Mugiwara's your captain- does that mean he makes you bottom?"
"Nah, but Zoro likes-"
"Luffy, SHUT UP!"
"Nga ga ga ga!"
Throwing himself into the stormy ocean off a fast moving train suddenly seems like an excellent idea.