A/N: And I am back :D I was going to upload this on the 30th but FF was being an arse :/ Thanks for all the reviews, I got them even before I went away! I will upload again at 150. I wrote this chapter long hand and most of you must know what a bitch that is, i guess thats why it isnt as long, but hope you enjoy /evil smirk.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or All Time Lows' "Walls" BUT I will be seeing them, Paramore (!!!), Escape the Fate, A day to remember etc this month ^^)

I'm gonna break down these walls
I built around myself
I wanna fall so in love
With you and noone else
Could ever mean half as much
To me as you do now
Together we'll move on
Just don't turn around
Let the walls break down

Chapter 11

Everythings fitting just like a puzzle

At the mention of the word Volturri Japers body went so rigid it frightened me. I shifted my body so I was pressed farther across in the small cab space and prepared myself to be shut down. After a long moments silence Jasper lessened his grip on the steering wheel and drove at a faster pace.

"I'll explain when we get back okay?" he said stiffly. I was shocked, he never explained things to me. It was always, "You don't need to worry, everything will be fine" or "Its nothing you need to know, its all for the best," but Jasper didn't seem to mind. I gave a small silent nod and played with a frayed edge of my big loose blue hoodie with a picture of a cats smile on it.

When we got back to the house Jasper ran out of the car and straight through the front door. I sighed and got out slowly. Jasper was such an unusual person to be around.

It could be because he can always feel what your feeling but I think it lies much deeper than that. He is so hot and cold, one minute he is perfectly fine. Laughing and joking around then the next he's acting sketchy and quiet. I really didn't know what to think of it.

I walked straight into the house and joined Jasper on the small floral couch. I crossed my legs under me Indian style and watched as he did the same. "Bella, are you sure ya wanna know? I will tell ya but I don't have to, ya don't if ya don't wanna..." Jasper trailed.

"I need to know. If this Volturri would find my power useful I need to prepare myself. Go at your own pace, I have all day" I said joking at the end trying to lighten the mood. Jasper nodded and looked out the window trying to think how to get him started.

"Okay. So as long as there has been vampires there has been the Volturri. The Volturri consists of many extremely powerful and gifted vampires, only the best of the best are selected. The Volturri are considered royalty to our kind, they keep everything in line. If someone were to expose us to humans they are gone," Jasper emphasised by running his thin finger across his throat.

This seemed fair enough they were the bosses, head hancho, da man. Stick it to da man and your in shit. I nodded urging him to continue. He swallowed what I guessed was venom and nodded back to me. "There's three of them in charge, they decide who stays part of their coven," Jasper spat. It was clearly evident that Jasper despised the Volturri.

"They sit in their thrones up in Volterra, Italy and dictate who lives and dies." Italy? That sounds oddly familiar. "Caius, Marcus and Aro are their names." Without intending to, at the mention of Aros' name, I started to scream and threw myself into the corner of the room curling up into a little ball.

His name was like a slap across the face, it reminded me of when I was beaten to the death. I yelled and thrashed against Jaspers' cold arms that were wrapped around my shoulders trying to soothe me. "YOU LIED! YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND! AND YOU HELPED KILL ME!" I screamed to no one. "Shh, Bella calm down please darlin'. Everything is okay, calm back to me baby. Please," Jasper pleaded to me. He started to rub circles on my back and patting my hair back down from the nest it had become.

I stopped screaming but continued to squirm and clamped my eyes shut tighter. An onslaught of calm and love tranquilised me and I started to dry sob into Jaspers' shoulder. "Bella dear, what's wrong?" Jasper breathed onto my neck. "She said Aro needed me alive, she told him and he bit me" I whispered. "Alice," he breathed. At the sound of her name I cried harder, pushing myself from his body and wrapped my legs pressing my eyes into my knees.

I felt a sudden surge of loss from touch and whimpered. "They're part of it, they're there now. Aro wants me for his collection too," I realised. Jasper let out a snarl and jumped up from the ground. "We've got to ring Carlise," he said before leaving the room.

All along that's all I was for, to become part of a vampire leadership who kills people because they can. Would they come and try and get me or would I be expected to go to them?

I went up to my room to occupy my mind, I need to distract myself immediately. There was no way Jasper would let them take me, neither would any of the other Cullens'. I started to pick up boxes and take them to the shed out in the forest. Once all the boxes were gone I lay on the floorboards and shut my eyes. I was distracted of all the three minutes it took me to empty the room and now I was left with was my thoughts.

"Are you going to paint it?" Jasper asked from the door. "Nope," I replied. "Can I join you?" he asked meekly. I shrugged, "If you want to." I felt him lie down close to me, our arms touching. My skin seemed to buzz where he touched me. I hoped he couldn't feel it.

"He never loved me, but part of me knew that. Part of me knows I was never good enough for him, though there's a bigger part of me that doesn't care that he didn't. Love me that is," I mumbled. I felt Jaspers' fingers lace though my own, the spaces fitting perfectly.

A shot of acid went through my veins at his touch. We had touched before but this was different, it felt right somehow. I marvelled at how close Jasper and I had gotten in such a short amount of time. I felt like he knew everything about me by just looking into my eyes, looking into my soul.

"You're good for me," I said softly. "You fixed me and for that I'm eternally grateful. The pain is there, but mainly for her- Alice. I always knew Edward and I wouldn't last, but I finally felt I found a friend with her. But again I was wrong." I said staring at the ceiling.

"Bella, you are doing great considering the circumstances. You don't ever have to owe me anything either, in a way you fixed me too. Alice and I hadn't been together - together together - for at least a decade. But that doesn't bother me, I have you now. We have each other and that's all we need," he said pulling me into his side.

"I don't know how though, I'm a dull boring mess," I whispered. "You couldn't be farther from the truth if you tried darl," he said adoringly. I didnt reply because frankly I wasn't sure the words would form, the acid was paralyzing me. I was fucked up enough, I didn't need to start thinking there was something there between us.

We weren't close before but now that we were, it didn't quite seem enough to call us friends but there was definitely something else there. Could it be love? I really didn't know but when I was with Jasper everything seemed... right. As weird as it sounds, I didn't mind. Oh fuck, empath. Reel it in girl.

I pushed those thoughts deep down to the deepest pits in my stomach and lay in silence feeling the acid travelling though my veins leaving a hot trail behind it.

We could have sat there for days on end in perfect silence with just each other just holding hands. Until it was time for Jasper to hunt that is. When he left to hunt I felt so lonely, his absense from my side made me feel hollow, completely empty. It was then I realised I relied on him too much, before it didn't even feel like I was but looking back on it I did.

I have to make myself more independent, it was not healthy to rely on someone so much. I was going to start right now to be more independent.

I decided to explore the house some more but I was still feeling lonely so I decided to see if Kate was online or something. It was weird how I connected so much with her, I barely knew her yet I felt like I did. Strange as it is, she was like a combination of Rosalie and Alices' best characteristics.

I logged onto my computer and signed onto my instant messenger I never used and I added Kate as my first contact. I waited for five minutes when I finally saw Kate sign on. I was about to say hi but before I could Kate said it.
Kate: Hey B!
Bella: Hello, what are you doing?
Kate: Nothing really been really bored since you left. Did you wanna go for a walk or something if your not busy?
Bella: Sure :) Seeyou at the road near your house in 10?
Kate: Sounds great, seeyou soon :D

I signed off and went downstairs to leave a message for Jasper on the whiteboard. "Jas, gone for a walk with Kate. Shouldn't be too long - B".

I shut the door softly, breaking out into a run following our scent from earlier. I made it there in less than 6 minutes and saw Kate already there leaning against the road sign.

"Hey poderoso," Kate grinned. "Kate, please don't call me powerful," I frowned. I knew basic Spanish, French, Italian and German thanks to one of Rene 's language fads. "You speak Spanish?" she gawked shocked. I shrugged, "Just a bit, something my mum was into." "Niceee," Kate said exaggerated.

We walked onto the trail near her house that would its way through the forest. We talked about our human lives and how we were changed. I summarised briefly over how I was changed so I wouldn't scare Kate away with my hysterics. I was coping, but there was still the gut wrenching terror that enveloped me whenever I realised I was beaten to death.

Kate understood my hesitance and let it slide, for now. We sat down on a bench to talk, either though neither of us could get warn out.

"Soooo, you and Jasper 'ayee?" Kate asked in a way in which she thought was subtle. "What?! No what gives you that idea?" I asked what I hoped what nonchalantly. "Don't play innocent Bella. When Irina and Tanya were talking to Jasper all he could talk about was you. And Eleazar mentioned you "trust him with your life"" she said matter of factly.

"I-what-uh-no" I stuttered. "I don't think so, I mean he's great to me but neither of us would be ready for anything like that. Its not what either of us need," I sighed. "Or maybe its exactly what you need!" Kate said pointing a finger at me.

"Okay I guess, there's feelings there but I have no clue what to do about them. I mean I doubt he'd feel the same way even if I was sure of his affections," I sighed. Oh dear, it was evident I was falling hard and quick.

"I didn't mean now querida, but its there. You's are mean to be," Kate said patting my back. "Just take your time, everything will work out in good time," she said sounding like Yoda.

"That helps heaps, especially after this afternoon when we held hands," I grumbled sarcastically. "Ooer, deets please," Kate clapped like a 15 year old. "We were just holding hands and it felt like acid was rushing through my blood. It felt completely right, just to be there with him," I said shortly. "Is that it?" Kate said bluntly. "I don't know I guess, it was like a connection was flowing through us, but yeah that was it," I shrugged.

"Corrispondenti anima," she whispered dropping her hand. "Matching souls?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "What are you on about?" I asked. "It is when two bodies find each other and they are so perfect for each other the two halves of their souls connect and become one," she said sadly. What the fuck?!

"Thats not possible Kate, we can't can we?" I murmured. "You can't decide it Bella. What is done is done. You may not realise it now but it will be. The fates have intended it," she said rising. "We should go its late," she said distractedly.

"Talk later querida," Kate grinned before taking off back down the track. If what Kate was saying is true I needed to stay away from Jasper, I couldnt let him know I was falling in love with him if he didn't feel the same.

***

Avoiding Jasper is not an easy feat, especially when you are the only on living in the same house together. Alone. I had a feeling I was hurting his feeling more than he let on. Whenever he suggested we do something I would say I had plans with Kate.

Of course she thought what I was doing was wrong. She would constantly remind me of "corrispondenti anima' and how I "would have to face the music sooner or later." She begged sooner, I begged later. But we both knew I was scared.

I was slowly, bit by bit falling for Jasper, whether or not it was my choice I couldn't help it. He has me under his spell and everyone knew it. He was everything I needed and so much of what I wanted. He treated me like an equal, always asked what I wanted and never forced me.

Everytime I heard the deep bass of his voice now it sent shivers right to my core. When I looked into his toffee coloured eyes I found myself swimming in them. His strong square jaw jutted out with cute frustration when he read a wrong fact in his Civil War books. Whenever he was worried he'd run his tall strong fingers though his dark blonde-brown wavey hair and disheveled it in an almost natural bedhead.

Picking out these little details made me realise how much I was falling more and more over my cliff of semi-sanity. Worse part though was that I was losing myself with every minute I was near him. I don't know how much longer I could hold on for.

I spent the better part of the past three days in my room on the floor. I hadn't gotten around to ordering one, didn't really matter either way though. I got up from the floor realising I needed to shower.

I got down from the attic taking a pair of black skinny jeans and a long faded brown cream blouse with a baggy black vest. "I'm just going for a shower Jasper," I said normally knowing he would hear. "Okay darl, I'll just be in my room if ya'll need me," he said slightly distracted. Probably because I was blocking my emotions and he was worried.

I sighed and went to the bathroom with heavy feet. I knew I should tell him that I felt something but I just couldn't risk it. I'd gladly sarcrafice my misery to keep things from getting awkward though.

I stripped down to my simple black lace underwear and turned on the hot water waiting for it to heat up. I looked to the mirror like I did often since arriving. My eyes were now a red amber, not quite the nice brown amber I'd prefer but at least it wasn't bright red like it was before. I wandered what anyone could see in me, I was still pretty average, even as a vampire.

My face shape itself was pretty much the same, although my chin bone was more angular. My nose from the front was slightly pushed looking flat but on the side it was straight and upward pointed. My eyes were not as squinted as they used to be from always reading, they were wider and "popped." My eyebrows were thick in the inside edges and gradually got thinner going out. My lips had stayed exactly the same. The uppers edges meeting at the bottom edges and going up to meet at two pointed peaks. The bottom was plump and made it look like I always had a half pout.

Moving myself closer to the mirror with vampire eyesight I saw the very pale freckles across my nose I couldn't see as a human. I brought my short fingers to my face and ran a short nail across my check feeling the bones beneath the marble surface. I tore myself from the mirror and walked through the steam to the shower.

I stood under the shower and felt the warm water run down my cold back and threw my head back wetting my hair. I ran my fingers through my hair detangling it and pressed my forehead on the glass. I needed to get my shit together. Jasper was occupying my every though since we "connected our souls" as Kate put it.

I had accepted the fact that I liked him but I couldn't do anything about it so my feelings were locked up inside me, so I had to hide them from Jasper which hurt him which I found hurt me.

I sighed and started to wash my hair, even small distractions I was welcoming. I twisted my conditioned hair up out of the way and used body scrub. I rubbed the skin on my stomach and passed my breasts, tensing the coil in my stomach and closed my eyes. I imagined being held by Jasper with him whispering endearments in my ear while rubbing his hands all over my body.

Suddenly I felt the spring coil tighter than I thought possible and my breathes came out in hard gasps. Then quickly as it started it stopped, God I've got to keep my thoughts clean I thought while rinsing my hair.

I turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around my dripping body and threw my hair in a towel as well. I hadn't taken another step when I felt my core burn with lust. I let out a rough gasp and panted as it got more intense as the seconds ticked by. I grabbed the towel rack and held on to steady my grip as my knees weakened.

I could feel an orgasm building and I couldn't do anything except moan and scream. I had no control and it was horrible. I realised that this was Jaspers' "payback" but I had a feeling giving me an orgasm wasn't the payback. I was at my breaking point when I crushed the towel pole between my fingers ands screamed out in ecstasy.

I was panting as I came down from my high and quickly regained my composure and dressed as quickly as I could so I could tell Jasper off.

I kept my hair in the towel and stormed to Jaspers' room in blind fury. I flung open his door and let loose. "What the fuck Jasper?!" I yelled then I realised he was on the phone. He had a mischeivious grin on his face the whole time.

"Yeah, that was Bella, yeah that was her as well," Jasper said with a fake grim voice. "Is everything okay son?" Oh God Carlise!! He was on the phone to him the whole time.

I was floored, I couldn't shut my mouth. I ran from the room and ripped the towel off my head as I ran from the house. God, I was so embarrassed. I would never be able to show my face in the Cullens' house again.

I stormed off through the rain that had suddenly appeared. I was almost to the edge of the forest when I heard Jasper behind me. "Bella! Please wait! Come back, I am sorry!" He called after me. I spun quickly and was about a meter from an ashen faced Jasper.

"That was harsh Jasper, how am I supposed to feel? When you make me feel like that what am I supposed to do?" I yelled at him rain drops streaking my face. "I am sor-" I cut him off. "I know you are, and I get the payback thing. But what I did wasn't nearly as bad as that, what are they going to think of me now?!" I said throwing my arms in the air.

"Please Bella-" he started then looked at the ground, "-I couldn't stand you not talking to me. I didn't know if I hadn't done something wrong or you were upset. You wouldn't talk to me!" he fought back.

"How could I Jasper!?" I yelled hopelessly. I had no idea why we were yelling, we could hear perfectly fine. I wiped rain drops from my face and shook my head. It seemed like the skies were crying for me. I could feel words coming up my throat like word vomit, bursting to come out.

Jasper had a look of confusion on his face, he really didn't know what I was talking about. "How could I talk to you when I was having all these feelings?" I said disgusted. "What do you mean?" he asked very confused. "I couldn't stop thinking, it was driving me insane! All this stupid "Corrispondenti anima" bullshit! I couldn't fucking handle it when all I wanted to do was kiss you," I whispered towards the end.

My eyes shot to the ground to hide the embarresment written clearly over my face. I prepared myself for the rejection, but when I heard nothing from Jasper I looked up at his face which was framed by his wet locks.

"Bella-" I prepared myself the heartbreaking rejection, "Can I kiss you?" he asked staring intently at my face. I felt my body catch on fire, every part of me alive yearning for his touch. I closed the gap between us and wrapped my wet arms around his shoulders smashing my lips to his.

Everything was instantly in vivid High Definition. I could feel everything. My lips moved in sync with his, fitting perfectly together moulding to perfection. My hands clenched in his hair running through them over and over feeling the softness I loved. His tongue glided gracefully on my lower lip asking for entrance. I opened them automatically inhaled in his scent letting it ignite every fibre of my insides with him.

Our tongues done their own unique dances in tune to the rain falling all around us. His hands lifted my shirt slightly rubbing soothing yet passionate circles on my back. The kiss was perfect, it had deepening in rhythm and was all I hoped it could be.

After six long minutes we broke apart and panted unnessarily, resting our forheads together. "Your wet," I said lamely. I let out a low chuckle, "lets go inside" he said taking my hand and leading me back to the house.

We walked up the stairs in silence holding hands and went our separate ways to get changed. I got changed into a pair of bright blue track pants and a white sloppy joe, threw my hair into a messy bun and headed down to Jaspers' room.

He exited from his room wearing dark blue wash jeans and a black wife beater with no shoes and wet hair. The sight was panty dropping and made venom pool in my mouth. "You look gorgeous," he said taking my hand. I let out a short laugh, "thanks, I think."

"What should we do today?" Jasper offered. I shrugged, "watch some movies maybe?" I said softly. "Sounds great to me, any kind in mind?" he said walking over to the dvd rack. "Im kind of in the mood for horrors if you like them," I said shyly. "Love them," Jasper said with a wicked grin.

We decided on watching the three Final Destinations, When a Stranger Calls and The Uninvited. At least once in every movie I ended up jumping and ended up sitting in Jaspers' lap. By the end of The Uninvited I was laying against Jasper while he played with a strand of my hair. I could get used to this. This completeness.

"I love you Bella, I have since that day I wrote you that song and we sat in the rain. I wanted to see if you felt the same as me before I did anything. I didn't want to push you," he said while stroking my check.

"Do you have any idea how much you mean to me right now? How much you have a hold on my existence? How much love is in my heart just for you?" I said trying to express my love for him. "Hmm, I don't think I do. Maybe you should show me?" Jasper joked. I sent out all my love to him, basking him in it.

"Wow, that is a lot of love. For a girl" he said with a smirk. I laughed at him and sat up straight. "What do we tell the family?" I asked randomly. He was deep in concentration for a minute until he sat up straight as well. "I think we should let them figure it out," he said with a smirk. "I like that idea," I said leaning in to his shoulder.

"I like this, us. Together. It feels right," Jasper said stealing my thoughts. "I thought something very similar earlier. It feels like were rushing it but it just seems so right, ya know?" I said. "I know what you mean, but Kate said we were always meant to be together so that's okay right?" Jasper said stroking my hand.

"As long as were happy isn't that all that matters?" I said not really having an exact answer. "How do you stand on presents these days? I mean Christmas is just around the corner," Jasper asked randomly. "I guess they're okay, but nothing overboard like a continent or something ridiculous like that," I laughed.

"That's good, because I have a present in mind. And don't freak, its not that expensive," he said with a grin. "I have no idea what to get anyone, you have to help me. I have an idea for Emmett, but then again he's easy to buy for, like a child," we laughed together and lay on the couch for hours just talking together getting to know every detail of our live from his Texas upbringing to my split holidays.

For once in a long time we were both at peace and were no longer afraid.

There you have it, hope you enjoyed that. And remember, reviews make a happy writer who does not make Jasper gay : )

Oh, also check out "Saving Bella" by mynxi, its great. Every chapter I will recommend a story that I reckon you would enjoy. Theres also a poll on my profile id like you to check out.