She could only think of Martin and her family the plane ride back home barely aware of Ville. She leaned against the window watching the pouring rain to try to get her mind off of what had just happened, but all her efforts seemed futile.[i] I knew I should've stayed. This would've never happened; just like if I would've kept a closer watch over mom she wouldn't have done what she did. I always put myself first and look what I get…,[/i] she thought.

[i]The razor stung as it slid across her soft skin releasing droplets of blood. She sighed.

She was in the backyard facing the woods. Paul was at "work" at the nearest strip joint and her mom had the day off and was roaming about the house.

I need to talk to her... We need to go back... I miss Dad...

She got up, threw the razorblade into the woods, and went into the house to find her.

"MOM!" she yelled.

Your voice echoed. She went into the master bedroom and noticed her knitting was on the floor and the rocking chair was moving slightly.

"MOM!" she yelled again, louder this time.

Where is she?

She looked down the hall and noticed her bedroom door was open a bit. Ella always locked her door and always carried a key. She crept slowly to the outside of her room and when she finally got the guts, she pushed the door open a bit further.

She caught a glimpse of a foot dangling back and forth from where she stood.

Oh, GOD.

She opened the door completely. There was her body swinging from the ceiling fan with one of her knittings she had been working on for a number of years.

As Ella looked on at her the last sign of life extinguished from her pale, tired green eyes.

Her face was a deep shade of purple and body was a ghastly white. She was completely naked and her face looked distorted. Ella crumbled unto the floor and stared at her until she stopped moving back and forth.

She went to her dresser and grabbed her savior hoping all life would drain out of her by the time Paul came home.

Mom… [/i]

"Hello?"

She snapped out of it.

"Huh?" she asked.

"In deep thought?"

"No, just wallowing in misery that I call my life."

He looked down.

"Sorry, I'll try to be a bit more upbeat." she gave him a thumbs-up and a fake smile.

"You don't have to do that. I know what it feels like to lose ones you love."

She looked at him with doubt.

"I have."

"Who?"

"People who have stepped all over my heart and turn into the very thing I despise."

"It's not the same," she scoffed.

"It may not be exactly the same, but it feels and is a lot similar."

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You didn't hear your brother get shot-"

"You don't know that's what happened-" he interrupted.

She glared at him and continued "Or actually see the life extinguish out of your mother's eyes."

She turned away from him. His eyes started to tear.

"There is no turning back from this unending path of mine

Serpentine and black it stands before my eyes

To hell

and back it will lead me once more

It's all I have as I stumble in and out of grace

I walk through the gardens of dying

light

And cross all the rivers deep and dark as the night

Searching for a reason why time would've passed us by

With

every step I take the less I know myself

Every vow I break on my way towards your heart

Countless times I've prayed for

forgiveness

But gods just laugh at my face

And this path remains

Leading me into solitude's arms

I see through the

darkness my way back home

The journey seems endless but I'll carry on

The shadows will rise and they will fall

And our

night drowns in dawn

Amidst all tears there's a smile

That all angels greet with an envious song

One look into stranger's

eyes and I know where I belong

And the path goes on..."

She glared daggers at him once more.

"Don't try to soothe me with your lyrics. What you've gone through doesn't compare to the shit I've been through."

"Yes, it does."

"Love and death are two completely different things," she hissed

"That's where you're wrong. They're one in the same. People are willing to die for true love and true love kills us a bit each day," he said quietly

He got up to go to the restroom.

When the plane arrived at JFK she really had no clue as to what to do next. What had happened kept replaying through her head over and over, not letting her think.

"Now what?" Ville asked.

"I don't know."

She looked around for a familiar face, but to no avail until she heard a sharp wolf whistle to her left. There was a bald, tall man dressed in all black with a leather coat holding a sign with her name on it. He had a scar across his face, vivid blue eyes, a chiseled jaw, and a crooked smile. She started to approach him knees turning to mush every step of the way though she didn't let it show.

"Am I right in guessing he's our man?" Ville leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"Yeah. His name's Kliment."

"How do you know him?"

"He used to give me sweets every time he would come over to have a couple of drinks with my dad and discuss business matters."

Ville stayed silent.

"Don't piss him off. He has a license to kill and is a very important man to the Russian Mafia, okay?" she said behind a fake smile.

He only nodded.

"Hello, Ella. I'm sure you remember me," he started to say as she came within hearing distance.

"Unfortunately," Ella said through gritted teeth.

He held out his hand for her to shake, but she didn't budge.

"She's fiery, isn't she?" he said to his cronies as he purposely flashed his 9 mm High-Power Browning.

Ville and Ella's eyes widened.

"Who's this pussy?" he asked as he turned around.

"Company."

By now he was circling her. Daring not to look she stared straight ahead until she felt him press the barrel against the small of her back.

"I'm guessing you both won't make this harder for me," he smiled.

"No, sir," she said sarcastically.

"I've always had a thing for you, to tell you the truth. Such passion and rage, much like your mother."

He turned Ella around gave her a deep kiss and Ville took a couple of steps forward, but the cronies held him back.

"Hei..." both cronies said flashing Ville their guns as they held him.

Ville stood there enraged.

"Well, well. Maybe he isn't that big of a pussy," Kliment chuckled.

He motioned with his head towards the exit. His cronies took Ville by the arms once again and all of you got in a black stretch limo. Once Ella got in Ville sat next to her and, not before long had a death grip on her thigh.