EPOV
My father wouldn't stop talking. I was so tired. Bella had been on my ass about not being home much, and when I was home, Rachel was always so clingy. I loved that little girl to death, but...I just didn't know how to be a father sometimes. I did as Bella asked, and tried to see them every day, but I was part of the family business full time now - that meant more time away from Bella and the kids. The family shit was pretty hard, and I really didn't think it was going to be. I knew Bella was growing suspicious when I started having to leave in the middle of the night. I wanted to tell her this was something new for me, too, but I didn't.
I needed to find time to tell Bella that I was now a full time mobster. I knew she was going to hate me, but it wouldn't last. I would make her love me again. I would show her that our lifestyle isn't as bad as it seems. I grew up in it and I turned out fine. Alice, I think, is an amazing person. Nothing bad happened to me or anyone I knew while I was growing up. I mean, my uncle was killed, but that is just part of the job. It could happen.
When we had our Sunday meetings, the women never bothered us. None of them cared about what we talked about, or what was going to happen next. My father told me never to tell Bella anything about the job or the work I do. Most of the wives knew that their husbands were in the mob, but that was it. They didn't want to know anything else, and that was the best way to be. That was how they were protected. It threw all of us off when there was a frantic knock at the door. A couple of the guys went for their guns.
"Edward!" Alice yelled threw the door. My father called out for her to come in.
"What's wrong?" I asked as soon as I saw her.
"Bella just left. She peeled out of the driveway. I called her name, and when she saw me, she couldn't get away from me fast enough. Mikey called her away a few minutes before she left, and he looked scared. Then she never came back to the kitchen," Alice said as her eyes filled with tears.
I quickly pulled out my cell and started calling her. She wouldn't answer. I tried to text her, but she didn't respond. She knew - somehow, she knew. I had no clue where she would have gone. I had a feeling she was already on her way to Forks, or to Tori's house. Emmett offered to take me to Tori's, so I quickly agreed. I was so nervous the entire time we drove. I didn't know how to talk to her about this. After going by Tori's and seeing that Bella wasn't there, I told Emmett to take me home. I knew I needed to get my own car and head to Forks.
"She's home," Emmett said as we approached my house. "Maybe she doesn't know."
"I don't know why she would have left me."
"Maybe she thought the office was off limits to her," Emmett said. That was possible, but then why would she run away from Alice? "I'll see you later. Just do anything you have to, to make her understand."
I knew what I had to do. She could never leave, and it was as simple as that. I knew I had to do and say anything to make her stay; even if she hated me...
BPOV
"You, Edward Cullen, are the biggest piece of shit on the face of this planet."
"Well, I think you need to tell me why," he said, glaring at me.
"You...you should've told me! I have kids and now they are in danger because of you! I want a divorce. I won't say anything, I won't talk to anyone, and I will leave tomorrow. Just please..."
"That can't happen," he said with a shrug.
"It has to!"
"You are stuck with me for the rest of our lives. I need to know what you know so I can explain," he said, trying to hold my hands.
"Don't touch me. You're a fucking murder!" I said as he flinched back slightly.
"It's not like that. Bella, I love you and you need to talk to me. Do you want to go lay down in bed and talk?" he asked sweetly.
"NO! I do not want to lye next to you! I don't want you to touch me or my kids ever again! You have been saying for months now how much you love us, and then you bring us into the mob? You don't do that to the people you love," I said as I started to cry.
"Baby, there is so much you don't know. I know I should have talked to you sooner, but we are so great..."
"I hate you," I hissed at him. "You have been lying to me since day one. This was why you wanted to get married so quickly, isn't it?" I asked as my tears fell.
"Baby, I needed to be married or I was out. Anything and everything I say is going to come out wrong," he said, putting his face in his hands.
"Just tell me," I said giving up for the moment.
"I needed to be married by thirty-five. I never thought I would marry for love, but I love you so much. I'm not sorry I married you," he said.
"Why didn't you give me a choice?"
"You couldn't know until we were married."
"Alice tried to tell me," I said out loud to myself.
"She hates me for this, too," he said as if it was going to make it better. "Our lifestyle is why she didn't want to be your friend. She wanted you to have zero involvement with us. The day she asked me to pick up Cash, she only asked because there was no one else. She told me to get in get out. To 'leave Bella alone,'" he said with a chuckle. "I thought she was crazy, but as soon as I saw you, there was no turning back for me."
"You should have walked away. I have kids that have no choice in this! Why didn't you find someone who was single? I can't stay married to you," I said as I started to pace.
"Baby, you can't leave me. You're in this family forever, there is no getting out," he said calmly. "The kids will never know anything. You are all safe. All the janitors at the school are our men, and everyone has a bodyguard," he said as I cried more.
"That's why I felt someone watching me," I said, talking to myself again. "I'm leaving in the morning."
"You CAN'T!" He half yelled.
"I can do whatever I want!"
"You don't get it. You. Can. Not. Leave."
"I. Hate. You."
"Well, I love you," he said as we glared at each other.
"I'll go to the cops," I said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"That will just sign your death warrant," he said, making me gasp.
"You would kill me?"
"I wouldn't, but someone would," he said seriously. I sat back down and laid my head against the back of the couch. "Bella, I really do love you." All that did was make me cry more.
"You are the most selfish human I have ever met. If you love me, please let me leave. I need to get my kids away from your family," I said as he sat close to me.
"Baby, you don't understand. You can't leave. They will make me bring you back. I'm sorry you are so sad, but please just give me a chance to show you how good life can be," he said, trying to cuddle me. "Give me a chance."
"My kids could get hurt. You could die. Why would you do that to me?" I asked. He knew how I felt about death.
"Our babies will not be hurt. They are my kids now, too. If I thought any of you would get hurt, I would have never brought you into this. I love you, Bella. Isn't that enough to make you stay with me?" he asked as I looked away from him.
"Stand up and take your coat off," I said as I looked back at his face.
"Why?"
"Just do it," I snapped at him. He gave me the most deadly look, but did what I asked. That was when I saw his gun.
"I lock it up whenever I'm home," he said as if it was no big deal.
"I may not be able to leave, but we are over. Don't hug me, kiss me, touch me, or even mutter the words 'I love you' to me. You don't love me and you never have. If you did, you never would have put me or my kids in this situation," I said as I wiped away some tears.
"Ha, you are my wife! I will do whatever I want to you."
"Like hell you will!"
"I see you are going to be a hard-headed bitch, so let me put it this way: we will share a bed and we will have sex whenever we want. We will touch and kiss in front of our kids like nothing has changed. If you leave, I will find you," he said as his green eyes burned holes into me.
"Fine. If you get to demand how things go, than so do I. Don't think I am ever going to your parents' house ever again. Don't think I will ever enjoy sex with you again, either. Don't think my kids are stupid, because Mikey already knows something is up. He knows all the daddies carry guns in their pants and that the daddies come home with blood on their clothing and that the mommies burn the bloody clothes. Don't think I will ever do that for you," I said as we glared at one another.
"How does he know all of that?"
"Children are not stupid. They know better than anyone how to not be seen or heard. Kids notice shiny things. When Cash was playing with Rachel before, I watched as he stuck a play gun in his pants. I thought he saw it in a movie or something," I said as Edward looked away from me. "I will never trust you again…ever."
I was done with the conversation. I needed time to think. I went to my room and ran a bath; I needed to be alone to get my thoughts in order. I couldn't believe I opened my heart and soul to a man who did nothing more than deceive and trick me. I was so broken from losing Mike, and then Edward just swooped in and took advantage of my hurt and pain. I let him, trusted him, and I gave him all of the love I had inside of me. I never thought I would ever love again. I felt as if I had lost yet another great love in my life. Edward's lies and deceit were killing me from the inside out. I wondered to myself if he thought I would truly be okay with his life.
"Baby?" I heard Edward say from the other side of the door. When I didn't answer him, he walked in and crouched down by the tub. "I have to go, but I'll be back later. I hate doing this, but I have all of the car keys," he said as I closed my eyes and tried to ignore him. "Is there anything you want to talk about before I leave?" I still didn't say anything, but I had so much I wanted to say.
"Please don't bring my boys into your life. I read this book once, and mob people always have kids so they will carry on the name. I don't want this life for them, please! I beg you to never teach them that part of you," I said as he placed his hand on the side of my face.
"It will be their choice. No one has to join us," he said as I started to cry.
"But I didn't have a choice."
"I know," he said. It was the first time all night he sounded remorseful. "I love you," he said as he kissed my lips. He seemed upset when I didn't kiss him back. "If you need someone to talk to, call Alice. She will tell you anything you want to know."
"I have nothing to say to anyone in your family."
"They're your family, too."
"No, they aren't," I said as I heard the bathroom door shut.
I knew three things. First, Edward was in the mob, and I could never leave him. Second, I needed to protect my kids at all cost. Third, I was irrevocably in love with Edward and I hated myself for it.
Surprise! I am going to be busy tomorrow so I wanted to make sure you all got this update. Sssssso, what did you think? Let me know with a review because I love reviews and they keep me going. This story is doing amazing and I have all of you to thanks for that!
Huge thanks go out to toocute24, teamalltwilight, and Siobhan for all the help they have giving me along the way. I love you girls and I am so grateful to have you in my life! I am so happy that you three have become such great friends as well.
Right now I am working on chapter 20 of this story and I think I may only have three chapters left to write! The next story I am going to post is going to be a drabble and I am hoping to have most of that written before I post. Right now I have forty some chapters, but there is so much more that needs to be told. OH! And did I tell you it is going to be a daddy story? Well, it is!
I post teasers on my facebook group; the link is on my profile. Facebook is the best way to talk to me if you would like.