27th May 1975
Damn it. DAMN IT. I hate myself.
I don't know exactly how it happened- it was after today's Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L- I was looking through my paper, not bothering anyone when those rascals Black and Potter came and started goading me with their idiotic remarks, as if they were really the big shots they are so stupid to think they are. What happened next was blurry- I don't care to remember anyways- but before I knew it they had me hanging upside down in the air, laughing and telling people to 'Come look!' as if I was a part of their absurd little circus. And then I saw Avery and Mulciber in the crowd, grinning, laughing, leering at me… My friends who didn't even bat a single, caring eyelid at my predicament. I was so angry, so humiliated that when Lily came to help me, (to help me!) I lost it, I called her a Mudblood. And then she looked at me with so much anger, so much hurt in her eyes that I knew at once that I'd screwed it, and stormed off…
Avery and Mulciber are now joking about my- as they call it- episode today, saying it was about time I 'showed the little Mudblood what she's worth' but honestly I don't know what got into me. I really don't know. She's not a Mudblood, even if her parents are muggles she's the loveliest, purest witch I have ever known. I have to find her, have to tell her that. What if she never forgives me, never talks to me again? I wish I could take it all back.
I really hate myself.
A/N: Sorry for a rather lousy chapter, I'm moving house at the moment and my copy of OotP is stuck in my old house which is in another country so I'm a little short on references, so if there are inaccuracies or any points of dissatisfaction please do tell me! Thank you!
And once again, a very big thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, I appreciate your feedback very much!