A/N ...And, we're back, with the latest installment of 'Chase is emo and House is a douchebag, with your host, ChasingLupin!

Chapter 11: Promises

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

By Robert Frost

....The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

That still doesn't explain the dates…" Wilson pointed out softly.

Chase rubbed his face angrily. "I was confused, okay?.... I was confused. "

Wilson sensed that there was more to the story, but he didn't press it.

House studied him with a look of disgust on his face. "Oh, grow up, Robbie. I thought you army guys were supposed to be tough."

"What!?"

"House, His brother died."

"So? Weren't you listening to yourself earlier when you gave your little poor-me speech on the meaningless of life and death? Didn't you say that 'hundreds of people die every day'? Cause guess what, captain, you're exactly right. People die. It happens. You're absolutely fucking right- life HAS no meaning! Neither does death. And living the way you do has even less meaning, and it sure as hell won't change anything. It won't bring your brother back," he paused, "And it won't bring you back either."

"Oh that's rich!" Chase shouted "Are you listening to yourself here, House? You're the king of wallowing, the king of misery- and, what, may I ask, is so damn bad about your life? You had a shitty childhood- here's a newsflash, so did the rest of the fucking planet. You 're in pain? You can barely get out of bed most days? Well neither can a lot of us, House, and at least you get a good parking space!"

"So just die, Chase!" House exploded. "If life means nothing, if you are so fucking miserable, go into the bathroom and slit your wrists. I won't stop you. I might even come watch."

" I wish I could." Chase spat "Do you think I like this? D'you think I enjoy living like I do? D'you think my dream all my life was to end up alone on the other side of the world slowly burning a hole in my stomach lining?

I want to die, House.

But I can't, because some of us have responsibilities. Some of us have people who are counting on us. Some of us can't just cut off everyone we meet because we fear that if they get any goddamn closer, we might actually have to feel something for the first time in our lives!"

"Who is counting on you, exactly?" House growled, "Your sisters- halfway across the world- do they even know you're alive? Your friends? Do you even have any friends? Your brother? Judging by the lack of photos of anyone in your apartment, and the death certificate on the floor, I'd ay that if these people are counting on you, then you're doing a pretty shitty job of living up to your responsibilities!"

"I promised them!"

"Promised who?"

"All of them… Jimmy, my sisters… every time before I'd left, I'd always promise them that I wouldn't die, or come back in 'fewer than one piece or more than 3'…. So no matter how fucking badly I want to die, I can't, because it would be breaking my promise."

"That is the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life!"

"Maybe to you, House, but then again, you don't really know what it's like, do you? You don't let people close enough to you for them to trust you, don't let them trust you enough to rely on you, don't let them rely on you enough to make you promise them something. Even," Chase paused to catch his breath, "Even if you did, you would break it, because let's face it- the general concept of brotherhood, of doing the right thing, of doing what you have to do, of following orders, of keeping your promises- you just don't get. I may be a coward, but at least I'm fucking trying…. I'm trying so… goddamn hard…" He was sobbing so hard now he could barely speak ".. I'm trying to do my duty… I want to make them proud…"

House haven been (very temporarily) struck dumb, Wilson asked "Who, Chase?"

" MY buddies… my troops… Christ, if they could see me now they'd be ashamed: they should be ashamed! I'm a mess! And why? It was nothing compared to what my granddad went through, or your dad." He paused. "D'you remember, at school, those WW2 vets who'd come visit to talk about 'never again'. ? They'd be so sick if they could see me. Those men- They lived through hell, and… "

He trailed off.

"Who'd you want to make proud, Chase?" House looked at him curiously.

"I-I told you- I don't want my buddies-my troops-"

"No, no, before that... When you joined. What were you trying to prove?

"N-nothing. That wasn't the reason."

"Ha!:" House grinned "I thought you said 'there was no reason."

"I said there was no why."

"There's a difference?"

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"Since when has war had a 'why'?"

Well...C'mon... you know what to do....